By: Daniel Wilkenfeld, PWTorch Contributor

Where We've Been: Last week was capped off by the Main Event Mafia bidding farewell to Christian Cage via a prolonged beat down. One wonders why they had to put Booker's title on the line at Turning Point if they weren't planning on having Christian be a real member of the group anyway, but maybe Booker just doesn't think that far ahead. Speaking of not thinking ahead, absolutely no one is positioned to challenge Sting for the World Heavyweight Championship. Joe is contractually barred from doing so, and if AJ were going to get a rematch you'd think they would have set the stage for it last week. I have no problem promoting someone deserving (Lethal would have been a good choice, till they gave that away last week), but somehow I doubt we're headed that direction.

The Show: Leadership…Divided

The Main Event Mafia arrive with a coffin in which to bury Christian Cage('s career, I'd assume).

[Opening Credits]

Tonight we're going to see Kevin Nash & Kurt Angle vs. Abyss & Matt Morgan.

We're not going to have to wait long for Cage's funeral, as they're rolling the coffin out right now. Why did they bother teasing a segment that was going to take place thirty seconds later? Were they afraid people would get bored and tune away during the credits? Sting is out for this segment, which is particularly notable given his absence at the beat down last week (and the title of this episode). Is Sting about to end the shortest heel turn in history? Angle says that he looks forward to his match with Jarrett at Final Resolution, and opens the floor to anyone with final words regarding Christian Cage. Rhino's music hits, and he's in the entrance-way. I did not foresee this. Rhino says that if anyone had a beef with Cage, they should have talked to him in the back, as he will not tolerate people ambushing his friend. Nash says that no one cares what Rhino has to say, but Rhino reminds him that he's a veteran too. That just goes to show that this isn't about respect, it's about the egomaniacs in the ring trying to defend their slots from younger and more talented wrestlers backstage. He calls them all !@$!@s. I have a guess what that one was, but am not positive. Booker dares Rhino to come down to the ring and say it to their faces, which Rhino decides is clearly a good idea. They don't even give him the customary hope-spot before he succumbs to the four-on-one beating. I could totally go for a Rhino heel turn here. Jarrett, Mick Foley, and JB are seen watching in the back. The MEM roll a bloodied Rhino into the coffin.

In the back, Mick Foley expresses his dismay that things are getting out of hand. He also wonders when Jeff accepted Kurt's challenge, which Jarrett informs us he did not. He asks Foley to go out tonight and announce the main event for Final Resolution as the start of taking the house back from the MEM. I sense a lousy tag match coming.

[Commercial Break]

I think there are some technical difficulties that make us cut into AJ & Joe challenging The Motor City Machine Guns to a match. Shelley points out that they don't have the authority to make matches, which Foley, upon popping into frame, says is correct. But since he does, he will book the match between AJ & Joe and his "favorite tag team, the bam-bam-bam Motor City Machine Guns". Shelley asks if that's how Mick is "dealing with" him this week (as he threatened to do last week), but Foley replies that he has "not yet begun to deal." Sabin is happy that at least they're Foley's favorite tag team.

(1) CONSEQUENCES CREED & "BLACK MACHISMO" JAY LETHAL defeat SONJAY DUTT (w/SOCAL VAL) & TANAHASHI

Sonjay starts things off with Dutt as Creed and Tanhashi fight on the outside. Lethal nails a Handspring Elbow, but gets distracted by a taunting Val on the apron. Sonjay takes control and tags in Tanahashi, who immediately nails a Somersault Body Splash and a straight Body Splash. Tanahasi hoists Black Machismo up for something, but Lethal slips out and nails a kick to the face. They make dual tags, and Creed is a house of fire. He puts Lethal down with a Fisherman's Neck Breaker, starts punching Tanahashi, and nails Dutt on the side. Dutt takes momentary control with a Jaw Breaker and a See Saw Kick, but when he goes for a Springboard Cross Body Block Creed catches him with a TKO for the win. That's the first time I can remember a mid-carder winning pretty much directly off the momentum burst following a hot tag.

The TNA women tell us to cross the line.

Not-Crystal is in the back with The Beautiful People, who are perched on a pair of thrones, and Cute Kip, who is lying awkwardly in front of them. She informs us that Christy Hemme has topped newcomer Sojourner Bolt to be her tag partner tonight. They make fun of Bolt's name for a second, and then Anglina Love informs Christy that the ring is not a strip club.

[Commercial Break]

Final Resolution sees the return of the Feast or Fired Match, which was a crummy five minute match followed by approximately nine years of fallout in the plot. Hopefully the match itself will be semi-decent this year.

Sheik Abdul Bashir, Eric Young, and Shane Seoul are in Jim Cornette's office. Cornette tells Seoul that his wrestling days are over since he never caught on in this country. What he did last week in costing Bashir the title last week was wrong, so he's on probation and Bashir is restored the X Division Championship. Bashir and Seoul leave. When Cornette is alone with Eric Young, he concedes that Young got screwed by all this, and gives him a shot at the Legends' title tonight to compensate.

(2) THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE defeat CHRISTY HEMME & SOJOURNER BOLT

So I was fairly confident that Bolt had been one of the jobbers Kong took out during a challenge, but couldn't find her name on the list on Wikipedia. For those who are similarly frustrated, a further search reveals that she was listed as "Josie Robinson" at the time. Cute Kip doesn't come all the way down to the ring, presumably because they couldn't come up with a plausible way for The Beautiful People to lose this match with him there. Bolt starts things off with a Side Headlock on Love, but gets shots off and bounces into a Big Boot. Sky tags in and pounds on Bolt some. How much of a shame is it that Sojourner Bolt and Ron "the Truth" weren't in TNA at the same time? Actually, considering TNA booking, it's probably just as well they weren't. Bolt gets a two count with a Cross Body Block out of nowhere, but can't sustain any offense. They pound on her for a minute, till she creates some distance with a Jaw Breaker and makes the tag. Christe Hemme nails some cool strikes, taking down both members of The Beautiful People. Suddenly Cute Kip crops up on the apron, and the distraction allows Angelina Love to nail the Lights Out for the win. So maybe his not coming down right away was a clever fake out, or, more plausibly, they just don't want him in the way for the Beautiful People's ring entrance. For those keeping score at home, in Bolt's debut she was allowed to get in exactly three offensive maneuvers, one of which was a Side Headlock.

This week's Rough Cut is about Homicide. He talks about his strong family background and beginnings as an altar boy, saying he doesn't really know why he became a thug. Then he saw that wrestlers were allowed to beat each other up, and desperately wanted to do that. He trained harder than anyone, and even wrestled his fifth match with only a stolen tampon plugging a bullet wound he had received that morning. Holy shit—that really is hardcore. Anyway, he had a son and settled down some.

[Commercial Break]

On the debut of the ODB's Angle, Sharmell complains about the broken down set. ODB wants to know why anyone would name their daughter after a roll of toilet paper. Sharmell explains the difference between "Sharmell" and "Charmin", but ODB gets bored. She switches the topic to "boxers or brief"—Sharmell thinks that that's way too personal a question about her husband, but ODB wasn't talking about her husband. Sharmell thought that this was going to be an interview about the MEM, and ODB agrees to be serious for a moment. She doesn't understand why the veterans don't just step aside for the younger wrestlers, who made TNA. Sharmell says that while people like AJ and Joe might have started TNA, it's only people like her husband who made it. Hasn't Nash been in TNA longer than Joe? She says that people need to start respecting that, just like ODB needs to start respecting Sharmell. ODB says that if Sharmell wants her respect she can try earning it in the ring at the next PPV, and Sharmell accepts the challenge. ODB closes by joking about sleeping with Booker, and Sharmell has to be pulled away by security. If you add up all the quality in all the segments of Karen's Angle, this was better, but that really says very little. The Highlight Reel it was not.

JB is with the MEM, who have asked for this time to "help" Foley pick a main event for Final Resolution. Jarrett implied that it was already made, but okay. First though, he wants to warn Abyss & Morgan that they will be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Kurt has two main events that Foley can't refuse. The first is obviously himself vs. Jarrett, and the second is the winner of The Motor City Machine Guns vs. Styles & Joe with two partners of their choice vs. the remaining members of the MEM. Well, maybe the fact that they're suggesting a crappy eight-man-tag now means we'll actually be getting a real main event (Angle vs. Sting?) at Final Resolution? We can hope.

[Commercial Break]

They have a video package about Steiner's turning on Petey Williams last week. They claim that he's out indefinitely, which West says is a real loss for these "Young Lions." For crying out loud, we were this close to settling on "the TNA Originals". Screw it—from now on I'm sticking with "The Original Lions." That way I should have my bases covered.

(3) AJ STYLES & SAMOA JOE defeat THE MOTOR CITY MACHINE GUNS

Joe tosses Shelley from the ring as the match starts. He looks to go after him with a Suicide Dive, but he sees Shelley roll back into the ring and lands on his feet. Shelley looks to fly out after Joe, but Joe steps aside. That, however, provides cover for Sabin hitting a Suicide Dive of his own on Joe. AJ then comes out with a Somersault Plancha onto both members of The Guns.

[Commercial Break]

The Guns are somehow double-teaming Joe when we get back. However, when Sabin ends up alone with Joe, he gets beaten back, and taken down with a Snap Slam. They both make tags, and after some leapfrogs AJ nails his high dropkick. Shelley tries to toss him from the ring, but he lands on the apron and comes back with a Flying Forearm for two. He goes for The Styles Clash, but Sabin breaks it up with a climbing Ensuguri. Shelley goes for the Sliced Bread #2, but AJ shoves him off and into a kick by Joe. Sabin comes back in with a Flying Forearm on Joe, then nails AJ with a low blow. The Guns try to set AJ up for an Assisted Cradle Shock, but AJ shoves Sabin into the ropes, toppling Shelley, then nails Sabin with a Pele. Joe takes Sabin out of the ring as AJ puts Shelley away with a Styles Clash.
After the match, the MEM ambush a celebrating Joe & AJ. Sting stands conspicuously at ringside without participating in the beating himself. After waiting for AJ and Joe to be completely destroyed, Creed and Lethal decide that this might be a good occasion to try to make a save. It doesn't go well for them. I wonder where Eric Young is, but I suppose he can probably do more good by saving himself for his match against Booker.

Not-Crystal is in Traci Brooks's office, along with Rhaka Khan, Awesome Kong, and Raesha Saeed. Saeed wants to know if Brooks has found Kong any competition, but Brooks says that no one wants to risk permanent injury by getting in the ring with Kong. Saeed says that tonight they'll carry through on their threat to take out innocent civilians. This cannot end well.

[Commercial Break]

Not-Crystal is in the back with the Original Lions, when suddenly Shelley and Sabin come flying across the screen. A bandaged and ticked off Rhino wants to know what the hell is wrong with these guys. He reminds them that he's fought this fight, and asks AJ and Joe if they even remember what it takes to be champion. He says that if they're willing to stand up with him and keep on fighting, he'll bleed with them till the end.

(4) BOOKER T defeats ERIC YOUNG

It does not bode well for EY that this is not the main event. Young and Booker trade hammerlocks to start, till Booker ends matters with a knee to Young's gut. He tries to whip Young into the corner, but EY floats over and hits an Arm Drag into an Arm Bar. Booker breaks loose, but Young just hits the Arm Drag into the Arm Bar again. Booker starts to power out, so Young unloads with right hands. Booker gets some distance and tosses Young sternum first into the ropes. He kicks EY in the chest and floors him with a Superkick for two. Young dodges an attempted Axe Kick, but Booker pokes his eyes and takes him to the mat with a Chin Lock. Young gets up and shoots Booker into the ropes, from which he rebounds into a clothesline. A Body Slam gets two. EY goes for a Death Valley Driver, Booker tries to reverse it into the Scissors Kick, but EY re-reverses into the DVD for a long two count. Sharmell grabs Young's leg from the outside, which distraction allows Booker to nail the Scissors Kick for the win.
After the match ODB comes down to the ring to check on Eric Young and glare at Sharmell.

JB is in the back with Foley and Jarrett. Foley says he's ready to make the announcement, and he doesn't think Kurt is going to like it. So I guess he's not getting the title shot then?

[Commercial Break]

JB is now hanging out with Team 3D, who don't believe that the members of a newly formed team like Beer Money know who they're dealing with. Devon goes on a rant about how great they are, and all the things they've done. Brother Ray questions whether Devon's increased garrulousness is an effect of Obama's win. He also wants to know how the MEM can claim to have the greatest when they lack the 20 time tag team champions, which last time Ray checked was more reigns than any of the MEM have had. So are they face now?

Moments ago Hermie Sadler was plugging his new talk show (for TNA.com seemingly) when Awesome Kong came by and threw him into a wall. That's probably what I would have done too—and I guess I was wrong about this plot not ending well.

[Commercial Break]

(5) KEVIN NASH & KURT ANGLE defeat MATT MORGAN & ABYSS

The announcer claims this is a "grudge match", but I'm not sure who aside from Abyss is supposed to have a grudge. Abyss starts things off by taking Angle down with a shoulder block. Kurt rolls out of the ring to reassess matters. Kurt comes in and hits some right hands, which Abyss no-sells. Abyss floors Kurt and beats him down in the corner. Angle rakes the eyes for a moment's respite, but then eats a Big Boot and the Shock Treatment for two. Morgan tags in, and, judging from the squeals, he has a fairly large female fan base. He nails Kurt with the Carbon Footprint for two.

[Commercial Break—Star Trek is debuting on Rachael's birthday. Neat.]

We get back in time to see Morgan hit a Body Slam and a big Leg Drop for two. Kurt rolls over to Nash to make the tag, and Morgan seems to welcome the new opponent. I appreciate for the first time how big Morgan is when he goes eye to eye with Kevin Nash. They trade blows, and Morgan seems to get the better of it till Angle clips his leg. Nash hits a clothesline for the all-too-rare one count. He starts working Morgan over with knees and elbows in the corner, then choking him with a boot to the throat. He tags back in Angle who, to his credit, is at least slightly selling the several-minute beating that just ended thirty seconds ago. Morgan actually regains control for a second before Angle picks a leg and works the Leg Lock. Morgan gets to his feet, but Angle hits a pair of European Uppercuts. He goes for the Olympic Slam, but Morgan slips out and floors Angle with a clothesline. Both men make tags, as Beer Money make their way down to the ring. Abyss beats up both heels, and hits a Side Slam on Nash which Kurt has to break up at two. He follows Angle out of the ring as Morgan stays to deal with Nash. While on the chase, Abyss shoves aside Beer Money, so when he gets back to the ring Storm cracks a beer bottle on his head. Angle keeps Morgan busy while Nash puts Abyss away with a Big Boot.

[Commercial Break]

Mick Foley is out in the ring, mic in hand. He says that he has always readily acknowledged that those in the MEM have been a huge part of wrestling's past, and has even reluctantly come to acknowledge that they're some of the biggest stars in wrestling's present. He doesn't always agree with their point of view, but after the last few weeks he's started to appreciate their dominance. He had thought that change was inevitable, but now he realizes that maybe the MEM might not just be the past and the present, but the future as well. It was never his intention to play favorites, but only to level the playing field. However, he has come to realize that Final Resolution might be the Original Lions' final chance at restitution (that's not exactly what he said, but I'm pretty sure he just bungled the line a bit). At Final Resolution Sting, Booker T, Scott Steiner and Kevin Nash will take on Samoa Joe, AJ Styles, and two partners of their choice. But just to put his own spin on things, if the Original Lions win, AJ will become the new TNA World Heavyweight Champion. Foley also announces that Kurt Angle will have to go up against…(he asks for a drum roll)…Rhino! Kurt storms to the ring, wanting to know why Jarrett won't face him. Kurt always gets what he wants, and he's done everything but beat Jeff Jarrett. Technically he's never beaten me either. Angle blames Foley for costing him his match at Bound for Glory, and says that if he can't have Jarrett, he wants Foley. He slaps Foley in the face, and Jarrett's music hits. He comes down to the ring, and says that while he swore he wouldn't get back in the ring, he won't let Kurt tear down what he built. As badly as Angle wants Jarrett in the ring, Jarrett wants Angle out of the company. They both know that he can't fire Kurt because of "that clause in [his] contract." That might actually be true, since I think Spike TV pays part of Angle's salary. Anyway, he makes Angle the obvious offer—the match at Final Resolution will put a shot at Jarrett against Angle's career in TNA. Jeff extends his hand to seal the deal, but Angle slaps him the face instead. That might have been a mistake, as Angle turns around into a GORE to end the show.

Where We're Going: I'm a little confused regarding how Eric Young can challenge for the Legends' Title. Is he a legend, or do you not have to be a legend to challenge for the title? I would have to assume the latter, since (as much as I like Eric Young) I know legends, and he is no legend. However, I don't really understand the point of it then. Is it just a secondary singles title without any distinctive characteristic? With only two hours of television a week, I'm not sure why they would need a new non-nich singles belt. It seems like the only thing it achieves is to displace the X Division as the de facto secondary singles title. For years that title was closer to the status of the main title than most non-niche secondary titles. Now it's about one step below the Smackdown Divas' Championship, and not as colorful. I do like the idea of a title only for legends, on the model of the nWo belt of old.


Star of the Night: Rhino for becoming relevant again, and seemingly doing his best to earn it. A case could also be made for Matt Morgan, who had a rock solid main-event outing, and even for Homicide, who apparently really is crazy.

Overall: The main event announcement was about as good as they could manage under the circumstances. The predicted boring tag match was given a nice twist, and the predictable Jarrett-caving was made as plausible as possible without involving Jarrett's family. The random Rhino push was a pleasant surprise as well, and much of the in-ring action was fun. This wasn't a great show, but it was eminently enjoyable. B+

Daniel is a graduate student at The Ohio State University. He doesn't know why he's used the phrase "de facto" three times in the last two columns either. Complaints can be addressed to dawilk316@gmail.com

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