TV REPORTS KELLER'S TNA IMPACT REPORT 11/6: Final hype for Turning Point, Rhino acts like a sexist dumbass, Samoa Joe vs. Scott Steiner
Nov 9, 2008 - 5:59:24 PM
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KELLER'S TNA IMPACT REPORT
NOVEMBER 6, 2008
TAPED IN ORLANDO, FLA.
AIRED ON SPIKE TV
[Q2]
-A video package aired on the MEM vs. SYJ (Main Event Mafia vs. Small Young Jobbers) feud. Then the TNA Impact opening aired. Three clips in there of Jeff Jarrett as a wrestler, by the way.
-Don West and Mike Tenay introduced the show as pryo blasted. They hyped the main event of Samoa Joe vs. Scott Steiner. That's a main event that should have been built up for two or three weeks, not just two hours.
-The MEM5 walked to the ring. Clips aired of last week's show-closing angle. Angle introduced the newest MEM member, their "hitman," Scott Steiner. Steiner walked out in a suit with a wireless mic in hand. He hugged the other MEM members. He gave the WolfPac sign to Nash. Ah, the late-'90s!
Steiner said he's been at home rehabbing watching the "young punks" disrespect the veterans who paved the way for them. "And it pissed me off." He said he wants everyone to recognize that this is the greatest assemblage of World Champions to ever come together. He said they've earned their respect and they have united due to that common respect. He said they love the business and have earned the respect due them. He said they've wrestled all around the world. He said they've wrestled at Boston Garden on the same floor where the Celtics won their championship. He said they wrestled in MSG where Muhammad Ali fought Joe Frazier. He said they've at the Tokyo Dome in front of "70,000 people" (because 60,000 wasn't impressive enough).
He said the young guys wrestle and then return to the back and grab their joysticks and play their videogames and look at their comic books. He said they call each other during the week and go online and play videogames. He said, "You go online to these mark wrestling sites to see if you got a four star match, a five star match. What do you care what these geeks think? Ask us what we think and we'll tell you that you suck." Nash, Booker, Angle, and Sharmell laughed. Sting might not have been listening. Steiner said he's better than each of them. "You say you've been in TNA since the beginning and you built this brick by brick," he said. "No, you were here in the beginning because you didn't have any other options."
He told A.J. Styles to go back to his redneck state or Georgia in his redneck town and strap a billboard onto his back and walk down the street and nobody would know who he is. That's a ridiculously counterproductive thing to say no matter what the context because it rings true to viewers and TNA should be marketing against the weaknesses of their pushed babyface stars, not pointing them out. He told Joe that if he went back to the Isles of Samoa and the only question they'd ask him is, "Who's the fat-ass? Who's the half-breed? That's the difference between you punks and us." He said the names on marquee wherever TNA goes are the stars. Many fans applauded. Steiner said when fans turn on the TV set, they tune in to watch the stars. He called the younger guys "curtain jerkers." He said the only time they get star treatment is when they step into the ring and "sniff our greatness." He said it's a new day in TNA and "we are here to kick your ass and look good doing it."
Samoa Joe, the Motor City Machine Guns, Eric Young, and Jay Lethal stepped out onto the stage. Joe said, "If we could understand half of what you said, we might be offended." Some fans laughed and applauded. He said none of them are denying what they've all done. He said they have been part of some big matches, such as Lethal Lockdown and Ultimate X. He said when it comes to high-flying and the style that has defined TNA "and made it different than any company you have been involved in, that was us." Joe called Nash a "back-stabbing traitor son of a bitch." He said he's not going after him now because he's saving it for Turning Point. He said to Steiner: "Tonight, just so you have something to talk about at the big Millionaires Club (bleep) jerk, after I choke you out, you can tell Kevin what he's in for." Joe said they've put together a nice group, adding Steiner. He said he wants to show off their new soldier. Christian's music played. West said that was a great get for the group.
Christian stepped out said, "Not so far, Joe." He said he thought he made himself clear when he said he won't pick a side, but he doesn't mind lending a helping hand. He said he couldn't help but hear the MEM5 bad-mouthing the younger generation. He said if they talk any trash about him, he'll slap that rug off of his head. Booker's face began twitching. He said the young guys are trying to get where they're at. He said Booker didn't step into the business and instantly become a six-time world heavyweight champion. He said he didn't walk into the business and instantly became a two-time world heavyweight champion. "I busted my ass for it," he said. He told Booker that at Turning Point he plans to win a different title. He promised to beat Booker and embarrass him and at the end of the night, stand over his prone body with the belt high above his head as he hears these words: "I am legend."
Booker said Christian is wrong because after Turning Point, he'll be in the ring standing with them. He said in his country, his ancestors always say "you will know the true meaning of master because I am going to own your punk ass all over the place." He closed with, "Now can you dig that?"
[Q2]
-Borash interviewed Styles and Mick Foley backstage as they arrived. Borash asked Styles if he saw what happened. Styles didn't. He was riding with Foley who had something to tell him. Foley said they never got around to it because he had to make an important stop. He told Borash he knows what he means. Borash laughed and continued with the joke, "You had to take a Kurt and wipe your Angle." Foley replied: "No, actually we were visiting a kid in the hospital, you insensitive jerk." He said what he has to say everyone should hear at once. Styles said he has no idea why they rode together. Styles said he had to go talk to Joe.
[Commercial Break]
-Tenay and West were shown standing, which is new, and they plugged the rest of the show including the key matches and another Foley announcement. It's an improvement that TNA isn't throwing all of that info at viewers at the very star in rapid-fire fashion. They let the lead segment speak for itself, then set the stage for the rest of the show afterward.
1 -- BOOKER T (w/Sharmell) & BEER MONEY INC. (Robert Roode & James Storm w/Jacqueline) vs. CHRISTIAN CAGE & THE MOTOR CITY MACHINE GUNS
West said Beer Money keep improving and people think they could hold the belts for a long time. Tenay pointed out that all MEM5 members would be in action on this show. The Guns took early control with double-teaming against Roode. West called what they do "poetry in the ring" and "really special." BMI came back with some double-teaming of their own. Sabin came back with a tornado roundkick to the head, then he hot-tagged Chrsitian at 3:00. Beef Money immediately doubled on Christian but he fired back with a (kinda clumsy) double inverted DDT. Christian hit an Implant DDT on Storm. Storm was nice enough to shift himself into perfect position for Christian to hit his frog splash off the top rope. That always looks so bad. What's worse, it was unnecessary as Roode shoved Christian to the mat from behind. Storm then tagged in Booker. Christian hit a frog splash on Booker at 5:00. Roode and Storm jumped Christian to break up the pin. A six-way brawl broek out. Shelly sling-shot himself at BMI at ringside. They caught him. Sabin dove at them and knocked them over. Christian had Booker pinned in the ring as Sharmell distracted the ref. Christian turned to Jackie and the ref. Booker KO'd Christian with the Legends Title belt and scored the pin.
WINNERS: Booker & Beer Money Inc. in 6:00.
STAR RATING: *1/2
[Q3]
-A TNA Cross the Line vignette aired.
-Borash walked into Jeff Jarrett's office. He said Angle is looking for him and wants to wrestle him again. Jarrett said he'll talk to anyone in his office, but he's not going to wrestle Angle again. He said as the founder of TNA, he has a lot more on his plate than Angle. Borash said, "You think he wants to hear that" Jarrett said, "I don't give a damn what he wants to hear. Jeff Jarrett decides when he steps into the ring again, not Kurt Angle. If that's all you've got to say, hit the road."
[Commercial Break]
-Angle barged into Jarrett's office with the other MEM5 members. Foley was there, too, and Borash held the mic. Jarrett told him to get what he has to say off his chest. Angle said he is obsessed with Jarrett, then Foley is next. Jarrett insisted sternly that he was only back for one match. Angle said Jarrett's little girls know him and trust him. He again suggested that if Jarrett goes on a business trip and he knocks on his door and his daughters answer the door, they'd maybe let him in. "I want you to think about that!" said Angle. This is the most tasteless angle in ages. Seriously. Threatening Jarrett's daughters with unstated implications of kidnapping, sexual abuse, or whatever we're supposed to imagine is just too much. It's left up to the viewer to conclude what Jarrett might have to fear from Angle paying his daughters a visit. It's really not entertaining at all and reeks of a level of desperation that's beneath Angle and Jarrett - or so we thought.
-Tenay and West plugged Turning Point briefly, then they cut backstage to Awesome Kong and Ryesha Saeed attacking foul-mouthed Roxxi backstage. Several other women and Borash ran in to check on her. West declared, "Roxxi has just been killed by Awesome Kong." Now there's the overstatement of the month by a wrestling announcer. Borash called for them to cut to a break and get some help for Roxxi.
[Commercial Break]
-A commercial aired on the new Kurt Angle DVD. They show Angle saying he loves MMA and studies it and before he retires he'd love to do it.
-They went backstage to Lauren standing over Roxxi being tended to by several people. She had a gash on the back of her shoulder.
[Q4]
2 -- TANAHASHI & VOLADOR vs. MATT MORGAN & ABYSS vs. LAX (Homicide & Hernandez) vs. TEAM 3D (Brother Ray & Devon) -- Ladder Match for TNA Tag Title Shot
A minute into the match they cut to a break.
[Commercial Break]
Back from the break, they showed Hernandez tipping over a ladder, sending Morgan to the floor. They cut to a clip of Morgan kicking a ladder into Devon and Brother Ray. Hernandez dove out of the ring, but he hit the ladder as his targets moved. Devon and Homicide climbed a ladder. Homicide yanked Devon to the floor, tipping over the ladder. When Homicide set up the ladder, Abyss cut him short and gave him Shock Treatment. Brother Ray then gave Abyss a chokeslam. Ray knocked he ref down by accident. Tanakashi went after Ray. Storm and Roode ran out and stopped Team 3D just as they were on the verge of victory. Abyss then climbed the ladder to grab the contract and earn a tag title shot in the future.
WINNERS: Abyss & Morgan in 8:00.
STAR RATING: *3/4 -- For many reasons, just a bad idea to have this match. It comes at the expense of building up Sunday's tag team title match where the Guns are the challengers. It creates a sense that TNA is looking past Sunday, and it tends to give away that the Guns won't win. Plus, four-team ladder matches shouldn't be on TV - at least not in a mid-show slot. They should last longer than eight minutes. They should always be hyped for a week or two ahead of time so they're not defined down as just being a lower-card toss-off gimmick. And so on.
[Commercial Break]
-A super-short "Who is Suicide?" vignette aired.
[Q5]
-Mick Foley walked to the ring. Foley invited Styles to the ring. He said it was gutsy of founder Jeff Jarrett to bring TNA to wrestling fans, but it was also gutsy to build the company on the back of Styles, a relatively unknown wrestler at the time. Foley said he'd see clips of him on TV doing things that seemed to defy logic and human limitations. Foley said he asked Raven - which drew some cheers from the crowd - about him. He said Raven told him that he is phenomenal. Foley said Styles has proven Raven right. He said Styles is a Triple Crown holder having held all three major men's titles in TNA. Foley said Styles has a lot on his shoulders now, including representing the young wrestlers in the back honorably as he faces Sting on Sunday. Foley said time has proven that change is inevitable. He said: "We have a new president-elect on our hands. One of us is happy about the change; the other one isn't. But we can agree to disagree without getting ugly." That was a clever way to address an election that took place two days before this aired, but was taped before a winner was declared. Foley said Styles is the president-elect of the new generation of wrestlers and this Sunday at Turning Point he needs to go out there and take his oath of office. He said he hopes when it's all said and done that maybe Sting will come to his senses.
Sting's music played and he walked onto the stage. He told Foley that he's spoken nothing but the truth since arriving in TNA. He said he has to be careful what he says to the younger wrestlers. "If you don't tell them what they want to hear, it's tantrums, bombs, threats." He said they want to be fed with a silver spoon, but Foley hasn't been around long enough to experience it. He said what he's done for pro wrestling is unprecedented. The fans applauded and chanted, "Foley, Foley." He said he knows that Foley is trying to do the same thing that he tried when he first arrived. Sting said he's never steered Foley wrong. "The way disrespect me they're gonna disrespect you, too, Mick," he said. Some fans booed.
Styles objected to Sting's characterizing him as having a silver spoon. He said Sting got everything he wanted in his contract including first class seats and limousines. He said he must just be trying to get into his head and piss him off. He asked him to tell him how they got to this stage in their relationship. Sting walked to the ring. He said they got there because he questioned his character and spit in his face. Styles shot back that Sting can have his big contract, but at least he has his word and he stands behind it. They edited out something Styles said and jump-cut to Sting saying he's not surprised. Styles said, "When you were having your argument with him, you were always right and he was always wrong." He said Styles's dad had the right to kick him out of the house. Tenay said Sting had no right to go there. "That was disgusting," he said. Sting asked what Little A.J. is going to do when he sees him throwing a tantrum. Styles said he has no right to bring up his son.
[Commercial Break]
-Tenay threw to Lauren backstage who interviewed Taylor about Roxxi's condition. She said she's on her way to the hospital. Talor said she can only go out there and fight. Rhaka Khan walked up to her and said she shouldn't go out there alone, then offered her services as a "weapon of mass destruction."
[Q6]
3 -- RAESHA SAEED & AWESOME KONG vs. TAYLOR WILDE & RHAKA KHAN
Tenay said this is a chance for Khan to prove she belongs among the elite of the TNA Knockouts. He said physically Khan is the most intriguing match-up on the roster with Kong. Kong beat up Taylor and taunted Khan with a slap. At 2:00 Taylor jumped on Kong's back. Kong flipped her off of her and went for a splash. Taylor moved and tagged in Khan. Khan stood in front of Kong, but then turned and chokeslammed Taylor. Kong smiled, then gave Taylor an Implant Buster for the win. Tenay said it was absolutely the last thing they ever expected. Taylor did a good job selling the effects of the Implant Buster.
WINNERS: Kong & Saeed in 3:00.
-A short video aired hyping Kong.
-Borash interviewed Nash backstage. He asked if Nash is ready for his first one-on-one match against Joe, a match over a year in the making. Nash said Joe is talking a lot. He said talk is cheap. He said a year ago he ran down his best friend. "I knew right then the guy was a piece of sh--," he said. He said he's trained harder than ever for this. He said he's bigger and stronger than Joe, has 20 years experience, and has lost count of how many times he's been World Champion. He asked when the last time was he faced a 6-10, 300 pound man in shape pissed off. "Never? I've faced Samoa Joe's before and I've jackknifed every one of them. He's said never faced Kevin Nash or anything like him. The question is: Is he ready?" That's Nash at his best on the mic - confident, collected, and with a specific match to talk about. If Joe beats Nash on Sunday, that promo made it mean more than it would have otherwise.
[Commercial Break]
-West plugged upcoming TNA live event dates. Tenay said there's nothing like a live TNA event. Tenay threw to his sitdown interview with Bashir.
-Bashir said he felt growing up he had a normal life of an American kid. He said after 9/11, everything changed. Tenay said in defense of TNA fans, every promo Bashir has given since he arrived has been anti-American. Bashir said he doesn't want to be misunderstood, he loves America. He said America gives him the opportunity to say what he wants to say. "It's the American people who make this country difficult to live in." He said the media has brainwashed American wrestling fans into thinking he's a bad guy because of how he looks and dresses. Tenay said he calls fans "mindless sheep" and then expects them to respect him. He said wherever he wrestles in the world, he's revered and cheered by fans because of how good he is. He said Americans boo him because they're sheep. Tenay got combative and he was the person who lobbied to management to get him added to the Ultimate X match as part of Team International which led to his signing with TNA. Bashir said Tenay may have lobbied to bring him in, but he buries him on the mic every chance he gets. Tenay said every American lost something because of 9/11. "Oh really, Mike? What did you lose? You've still got the same cushy job," said Bashir. Bashir said that since 9/11, promoters have told him they can't book him because of the way he looks. Tenay said that's how TNA is different. Bashir stood up and got hot and broke into Farsi. Security intervened.
-Back at ringside, Tenay said that's the first time security has had to step in during one of his interviews. Tenay and West hyped the Turning Point PPV line-up.
[Q7]
4 -- KURT ANGLE & KEVIN NASH & STING vs. ERIC YOUNG & CONSEQUENCES CREED & JAY LETHAL
Tenay said the Main Event Mafia are the "elite of the elite." After ring intros, they cut to a break.
[Commercial Break]
The bell rang to start the match as soon as they returned from the break. Early in the match Nash tossed Lethal around the ring with power move after power move. Lethal hot-tagged Young at 2:00 and went after Sting with a running powerslam. Angle clipped Young from behind when he had Sting lifted in the air. Seconds later Young surprised Angle with a small package for a two count. Angle came right back with an anklelock. Young somersaulted out of it and tagged in Creed. He knocked Angle down, then kicked Nash to the mat. He scored a two count on Angle. Lethal dove onto Sting at ringside. Creed kicked at Angle, but Angle caught his boot and gave him an Angle Slam for the win.
WINNERS: Angle & Nash & Sting in 4:00.
STAR RATING: 3/4* -- This did nothing to dispel the notion that the MEM's rivals are Short Young Jobbers, the same group TNA has portrayed as losers for months who suddenly supposed to be a credible opposing force to these stars. Other than Joe, Styles, and Christian, they haven't given anyone in that group anything that adds up to main event stature. Jobbing these three out in four minutes just further confirms nothing has changed.
[Commercial Break]
-Lauren interviewed Rhino about facing Bashir in a match at Turning Point without the X Title on the line. He called Lauren "toots" (what an ass), then asked how many times we're going to open our arms to people of foreign descent and let them abuse the privileges that this country affords them. (There are so many things offensive and wrong about that statement.) He turned to the camera and admitted that Bashir was born the U.S. and chooses to stay here. Rhino then said, "As the old saying goes, love it or get the hell out." (Tell that to the women who fought for voting rights. Or the blacks who fought to be considered a full person, not a fraction. Or the soldiers who are currently fighting for better medical care for their war injuries. The new saying should be "Speak up to improve it or get the hell out.") Laren corrected him and said, "I think the saying is love it or leave it." He told her to give him the mic and "get your pretty little ass out of here before I gore you." I've never seen a babyface act like a bigger prick, Triple H included (although it's close!), than Rhino does week after week. Is he supposed to be a babyface? He looked at the camera and said he's against all Bashir stands for and those who abuse what this country affords them. Man, Rhino's promos are just hard to suffer through they're so "ignorant dumb American" in tone with some "male chauvinist pig" tossed in for good measure.
[Q8]
-A vignette aired on the Nash-Joe feud.
5 -- SCOTT STEINER vs. SAMOA JOE
Joe rolled into the ring and went right after Steiner to jump-start the match. Steiner wore a t-shirt because of the jump-start. He come back against Joe at 2:00 with a chinlock, clothesline, and elbowdrop. He went into push-ups as they cut to a break.
[Commercial Break]
Joe came back with a back splash for a near fall. He followed with a back suplex. At 8:00 Nash walked to ringside. Joe turned his back to look at Nash, Steiner hit him from behind. Joe ducked a Steinerline and dove through the ropes onto Nash. He pounded away at him. Steiner put on brass knuckles. Joe returned to the ring where Steiner immediately popped him with the knux and scored the pin.
WINNER: Steiner in 9:00.
STAR RATING: * -- With three minutes cut out of the middle and that finish, it's tough to give it any kind of a solid grade. It was what it was. I wouldn't have booked this match in the first place on such short notice, and I wouldn't have let Joe get his hands on Nash before their match, and I wouldn't have had Joe lose under any circumstances three days before the PPV.
-Nash took some shots at Joe in the ring after the match. Styles made a prompt save. The MEM members walked out as Tenay and West plugged the matches at Turning Point.
-A music video aired hyping Turning Point to a song by "Cured."
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