By Wade Keller, Torch editor

KELLER'S ECW REPORT
NOVEMBER 5, 2008
AIRED ON SCI-FI NETWORK
FROM ORLANDO, FLA.

[Q1]

-After the ECW open, which features Evan Bourne in three clips, they went to the stage for a big pryo show and Todd Grisham and Matt Striker introduced the show.

1 -- MATT HARDY vs. BAM NEELY

Hardy made his full ring entrance. Isn't he sick of that intro music after all of these years? Grisham said if Neely wants to be a "breakout singles star," this is his chance to shine. Neely took over at 2:00 with a kick to Hardy's back. He concentrated on his back. "Certainly no Jake 'The Milkman' Milliman, Bam Neely is capable; he's not just a bodyguard." When Hardy dove off the ropes at Neely, Neely caught him and gave him a Bossman Slam, as Striker accurately called it. Neely went for a vertical suplex, but Hardy slipped it into a neckbreaker. He followed with another neckbreaker and a two count. Hardy climbed to the second rope, wiggled his fingers, and hit Neely with a forearm and a Side Effect for another two count. Striker said he met a couple celebrating their 40th anniversary. He said their key to longevity is finding things they enjoy doing together. He said they enjoy WWE and their favorite wrestler if Hardy. Grisham asked why Striker was polling elderly people. Striker said they talk to him in airports. Hardy hit a DDT off the second rope for a two count. The crowd popped, even though they've been conditioned that pinfalls only occur in matches like this after a signature finisher. Neely made a quick comeback and hit a superplex for a two count. Hardy hit a Twist of Fate seconds later for the win.

WINNER: Hardy in 5:00.

STAR RATING: * -- The definition of a basic, solid five minute one-star match.

-After the match, Hornswoggle and Finlay danced on the stage to their music. Striker said we'd find out why they're walking to the ring next.

[Commercial Break]

-Finlay said Hardy takes pride in taking on all comers, but so far he's taken on everyone but him. He challenged him to defend the title against him. Hardy said he knew this day would come and he's looking forward to it. Mark Henry and Tony Atlas walked out onto the stage. Henry said he would not let this happen like this. When he said he's the World's Strongest Man, Finlay interrupted and said they've heard it all before. He said if people wanted to see him get another title shot, he'd have gotten more than four votes. Hardy said one of those votes was from him. The crowd laughed. Henry said, "If I wanted words from you, I'd have given you a dictionary." Who does Henry think he is? Jerry Lawler? Henry said the only thing he wants from Hardy is a title match. Henry said Finlay talks big for never having defeated him. Finlay challenged Henry to walk to the ring and fight. G.M. Teddy Long walked out and said that's enough of that talk. He said he'd settle that now. He told Hardy that next week he'd defend the ECW Title against the main event of tonight's show - Henry vs. Finlay. Striker said Long gets credit for giving the people what they want on election day. Henry and Finlay smiled.

[Q2]

-A vignette aired on The Boogeyman. It doesn't carry quite the same weight to say he's coming to ECW when he just appeared on a slapstick segment on Raw the night before.

[Commercial Break]

-Striker narrated over video game footage of DX vs. Miz & John Morrison. He touted that for the first time you can work with a partner to execute double-team moves.

2 -- RICKY ORTIZ vs. JOHN DAVIS

Striker said: "Jon Davis was trained by Dory Funk Jr. That means that Davis can grapple and is well-versed in submission arts." Talk about a creative avoidance of the word "wrestling." Ortiz won after a flying shoulder tackle off the second rope and a standing splash. Ortiz is now 6-0 on ECW TV.

WINNER: Ortiz in 1:00.

-Grisham and Striker were shown at ringside after a clip aired of Evan Bourne injuring his ankle last week. Grisham said Bourne will be out about four months. Striker gave him credit for finishing the match last week.

-A commercial aired hyping the Chris Jericho title defense against John Cena at Survivor Series. If they wanted to give Batista a reason to turn heel, the quick turning of the page from Batista to Cena here without talk of a rematch for Batista would be a good basis for his turn. Problem is, he'd have a good case that Cena was being favored unfairly.

[Commercial Break]

[Q3]

-WWE Fact: Last week ECW rated better than college football on ESPN by 150 percent.

-Jack Swagger walked out with that heat-generating wide smile he has. He talked about facing Tommy Dreamer last week. He wanted to talk about what Dreamer has really accomplished in his career. He said he made his name by beating a drunk named Sandman with a cane. Regarding the caning he took from Sandman, Swagger said: "Tommy kept saying over and over again, 'Thank you sir, may I have another.' I don't get it, but I guess he was trying to prove how tough he was, how hardcore he was. Of course, Tommy was receiving the beating because he lost a match to the Sandman. I guess some things never change, do they Tommy?" But Tommy didn't lose all his matches; he actually won one. And he became ECW Champion." He held up the old ECW Championship. He said it's an old title, old just like Dreamer. He laughed about how short his title reign was. "About 30 minutes!" he said, chuckling. "We've been on the air longer than that tonight." He dropped the belt into a trash can. He then held up a picture of Beulah. He said that was his in-ring girlfriend turned out of ring wife. "Tommy and Beulah have been married for six years and have two beautiful, beautiful twin daughters," he said. He said they're probably at home watching. He asked Beulah how it feels that her husband is past his prime. He said that implies he actually had a prime. "Your husband is a failure, which means you married a failure, which means your kids will probably grow up to be failures. But don't worry, there's still hope. You can find a role model. Someone like the All-Ameican American Jack Swagger. I'll let you look up to me." Dreamer charged to the ring as his music played. Striker asked, "How much can one man take." Dreamer whipped Swagger with a cane. Striker said: "A fight with Dreamer is with Guns 'n' Roses Chinese Democracy. You eager anticipate it, but once you have it, Jack, you might not want it." Dreamer knocked Swagger to ringside. Dreamer's music played as Swagger huffed and puffed at ringside. Swagger showed a lot in that promo. Very few people could deliver that promo as well as he did, especially so early in his career. That was really well done and WWE management should take note that he might be a money player if his in-ring work can catch up. The historical references to ECW seem just ancient now, but it's great anytime history is reference in that type of way because it, by definition, makes everything matter more as it happens because it shows big events have ramifications or are remembered and references years later.

-A commercial hyped Vladimir Kozlov vs. Undertaker on Smackdown this Friday.

[Commercial Break]

-The Raw Rebound aired recapping Jericho's title win over Batista.

[Q4]

3 -- FINLAY (w/Hornswoggle) vs. MARK HENRY (w/Tony Atlas)

After Grisham said, "As strong as Finlay is, I don't think he wants a battle of strength with Mark Henry, does he," Striker retorted: "That's great insight. I feel like I'm sitting next to Susan St. James and it's WrestleMania II." Henry took Finlay down with a headbutt early. After Striker said Henry bent a horseshoe straight, he told Grisham, "Imagine what he could do for you," suggesting Grisham isn't "straight." Grisham said he's heard rumors about Striker.

[Commercial Break]

Henry methodically dominated Finlay for the first 12 minutes of the match. Finally, while attempting to power sit on Finlay in the corner, Henry moved. Finlay then made a comeback and threw a barrage of stomps at Henry while trying to still sell his arm that Henry worked over. Henry fought back and tossed Finlay to the floor. When Atlas moved at Finlay, Finlay knocked Atlas to the mat. As Henry gasped for air, Striker said his cardio has always been questioned. As the ref argued with Atlas, Hornswoggle leaped off the top rope at Henry Henry caught him. Finlay kicked Henry's leg. Henry fell backwards. Finlay made the cover; Henry kicked out with authority. Henry again knocked Finlay to the floor, then chased Hornswoggle out of the ring. Henry ran into a diving Finlay, but he caught him and rammed him back-first into the ringpost. Henry rolled Hornswoggle into the ring and went for a splash. Hornswoggle moved. As the ref ordered Hornswoggle out of the ring, Finlay KO'd Henry with the shillelagh. The ref turned and counted to three. Grisham was stretching it when he said, "Finlay gives a whole new meaning to swing state here in Florida, crushing Henry over the head with the shillelagh."

WINNER: Finlay in 14:00.

STAR RATING: * -- Too one dimensional early. The final few minutes had some nice drama leading to the finish. The big picture logic of having two top contenders battle to earn a title shot next week is good paint-by-numbers booking that lets the wrestlers do their thing without being hampered by overly and needlessly complex booking.

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