By Wade Keller, Torch editor

KELLER'S ECW REPORT
OCTOBER 25, 2008
SAN DIEGO, CALIF.
AIRED ON SCI-FI NETWORK

[Q1]

-The opening screen paid tribute to S.D. Jones.

-Teddy Long was dressed as Ron Burgundy from Anchorman, complete with his sign-off, "You Stay Classy, San Diego, I'm a moron." Long wondered who added that last part to the teleprompter. Hornswoggle then showed up laughing. Todd Grisham said, "Happy Halloween everybody."

-The ECW opening then aired. They went to the arena with pyro blasting as Grisham and Matt Striker officially introduced the show. Grisham said San Diego is America's finest city. I love it because that's where the early-1980s TV show "Simon and Simon" took place. I did visit it once briefly and got good vibes, too, but who declared it the finest city in America?

1 -- EVAN BOURNE & MATT HARDY & FINLAY (w/Hornswoggle) vs. MARK HENRY & CHAVO GUERRERO & BAM NEELY

During Bourne's ring intro, Striker recapped the Matt Hardy title defense at Cyber Sunday as freeze-frames aired from it. It's good when they don't give away footage as it makes the PPV aspect seem more exclusive and those who bought it saw something not everyone can see. Striker quoted "a great urban prophet named Slug" who apparently said: "I chuckle when ego and pride clash with judgment." Striker said the votes for Bourne at Cyber Sunday were only second to "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. If true - and I assume it is - that's really noteworthy. And more evidence that TNA management continue to really miss out by burying the X Division as they have been doing the last few years. And evidence that WWE has missed the boat for years on booking smaller, more athletic wrestlers in credible, serious roles. Bourne went at Chavo at the start. As usual he took ordinary moves and did something extraordinary with them. Grisham said Rey really had praise for Bourne after last night's match and said he took him to his limit. Finlay tagged in. A graphic in the corner plugged the special three hour Raw next week. They need something special after the ratings the last two weeks. Bam tagged in next. At 2:00 Finlay tagged Bourne back in. Bourne knocked Bam out of the ring, then dove onto him. He landed awkwardly at his ankle and clutched it in pain. They cut to a break at 4:00 with a three-on-three staredown.

[Commercial Break]

-A commercial aired for Raw's 800th episode special on Monday. They are now claiming they've been on the air longer than any other "classic show" in television history. I guess if you make up your own category, you can claim the record by disputing that "60 Minutes," "Meet the Press," "Sesame Street," "Monday Night Football," and "General Hospital" are not "classic shows."

[Q2]

Back live in the ring, Henry splashed Bourne's injured ankle. Bourne yelled in pain as the heels took turns crunching and twisting and contorting his ankle. He fought back at 10:00 against Chavo and hot-tagged Hardy in for a nice pop. He slammed Chavo and hit a corner clothesline followed by a running bulldog for a two count. He fended off interference and hit Chavo with a Side Effect. When he went for the cover, Bam dropped an elbow toward Hardy. Hardy moved and then gave Bam a Twist of Fate. Henry poweslammed Hardy. Hornswoggle ran in and bit Henry's leg. Finlay then KO'd Henry with the shillelagh as the ref was distracted. Hornswoggle dove thorugh the ropes onto Atlas at ringside. Chavo ran back to the ring and climbed he top rope and hit a frog splash for the win. Striker said Chavo needed that win.

WINNERS: Chavo & Bam & Henry in 12:00.

STAR RATING: ** -- Solid six-man tag match. It was good to give Chavo a win, tainted as it was, since as Striker pointed out, he needed it. Now about MVP over at Smackdown...

-Grisham hyped that "Dirty Sheet" aimed at DX later.

-A Cyber Sunday recap video aired.

[Commercial Break]

-Grisham again complimented San Diego as one of America's most beautiful cities. They showed a view of the downtown ocean skyline.

-The John Cena is a Great All-Around Guy video package aired. I really believe this repeated stuff from Raw really costs ECW viewers.

-Grisham and Striker were shown at ringside. Striker threw to a clip of Grisham's in-ring interview last week with Jack Swagger.

-Lena Yada interviewed Tommy Dreamer backstage. He said tonight is his 19th anniversary of his first wrestling match. He said he'd had more injuries, concusions, and broken bones than he cares to remember. He said he still loves ECW. He said his legacy isn't about wins or losses; it's always been about the fight. He told Swagger that he is a big, tall All-American who should be able to beat him in five minutes. He asked him what happens if he beats Jack.

-A Smackdown commercial hyped that the casket match is back. No details otherwise.

[Q3]

[Commercial Break]

2 -- TOMMY DREAMER vs. JACK SWAGGER

Striker did more in the opening minute of this match to establish Dreamer's character than WWE has done for him in all of his TV time over the years. He talked about him as being a "generation's champion of injustice" and a "working class hero." Swagger took Dreamer down with a wrestling takedown and then held him down with a leglock. Dreamer made a coemback at 2:00 and hammer fisted Swagger to the floor. He followed with a slidekick, knocking Swagger into the announce table. Swagger caught Dreamer with a knee as he reentered the ring. They cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

Swagger continued to dominate after the break. When talking about Raw's 800 episodes, Striker said, "Raw is now the thread, the stitching that keeps our world entertainment together." Dreamer made a comeback and climbed to the top rope. Swagger met him there. Dreamer yanked Swagger arm-first over the top rope, then set up a DDT. Swagger countered with a Northern Lights suplex for a near fall. Dreamer went for a leverage bridge pin. Swagger kicked out and gut-wrench suplexed Dreamer, who was dead weight in his arms, for the win.

WINNER: Swagger in 9:00.

STAR RATING: 1/2* -- Please no more matches between those two. It's just not pleasant. Swagger is still green and Dreamer is just a load in there. Swagger's smile is money, though. There are few things more annoying in WWE than that.

[Q4]

[Commercial Break]

-Howard Finkle narrated the introduction vignette for "The Dirt Sheet." John Morrison and The Miz introduced the segment from center ring. Morrison had diamonds glued to his abs. He said they are worth enough to fund the deportation of every illegal alien in the city. They sat on director's chairs in center ring. Miz introduced them as the greatest tag team of the 21st century and said on Monday they'll face the best team of the 20th century. They said DX was created in 1997. Miz asked Morrison what he was doing then. Morrison said he was in high school and just finished his first screenplay. Miz said he was still in high school, too. Miz said they've gone on to become the greatest tag team of all time and created the no. 1 talk show on the internet. Morrison touted all of the world titles Shawn Michaels and Triple H have won. Miz mockingly talked about how they've also found the love of their lives and have started families. Morrison said that's adorable. Morrison asked: What do we really know about them? He said in the spirit of the political season, they'd examine it.

Morrison mocked Michaels's mullet and dance as footage aired of both. Miz talked about Triple H calling himself the King of Kings. "But what's Triple H really saying when he uses such a big sledgehammer. Is it to compensate for deficiencies. The screen said: "Court Jester... Feeling Inadequate?... Yes, inadequate."

Back in the ring, the crowd was booed. Miz said, "They just got Obama'd." He said they might be a little mad at that. He wondered if they crossed the line. Morrison said there's only one way to find out. He introduced DX as their guests. Out came two imitators. The MIchaels imitator was funny, prancing around the stage with his arms out like Michaels. They threw flow sticks to the crowd. The Triple H imitator had a huge nose pasted on his face. Grisham said, "You're sure this isn't Triple H and Shawn Michaels, right?" Striker said, "Nobody has the gall to do what Miz and Morrison are doing."

After making fun of Michaels's high jeans, Miz and Morrison asked then if they have any childish humor or whacky antics. "Triple H" began talking like Triple H. Morrison said they are elite, they don't do fart jokes. He said they're A-listers and don't try to appeal to the lowest common denominator. Miz said if the mindless sheep don't get their brand of entertainment, that's their problem. He said they have in a short time surpassed almost all of DX's accomplishments of the last 11 years. He said they are better than DX was then and better than DX is now, and Monday night they will prove it. Miz slapped "Michaels." Morrison gave a neckbreaker to "Triple H." They closed with their "Be Jealous" catch phrase.

Good segment. I'm more worried than ever, though, that this is all a set-up for DX to squash Miz & Morrison. Monday's match should be booked to elevate Miz & Morrison, not just give fans a supposed moment of joy seeing them get their asses kicked.

KELLER SHORT: Miz & Morrison's match against DX on Monday night is an opportunity for WWE to establish a new top act

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