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TV REPORTS
CALDWELL'S TNA IMPACT REPORT 10/16: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of Spike TV broadcast

Oct 16, 2008 - 9:59:30 PM
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By James Caldwell, PWTorch columnist

TNA Impact on Spike TV
October 16, 2008
Taped Oct. 13 in Orlando, Florida
Report by James Caldwell, Torch columnist


The show started with a recap video of the Bound for Glory biggest PPV of all-time. Ever. Anywhere. ... Until next year when Sting wins the World Title again. Tenay: "History repeats itself again." Yes, indeed.

Video clip: They showed a post-match clip of Jeff Jarrett saying he's done with being in the ring after beating Kurt Angle. He said it's one and done. The text preview for the show said: "Foley's Farewell." OK.

Announcers: Mike Tenay and Don West said Kevin Nash returns to the ring tonight and Mick Foley says good-bye to TNA. They then provided an update on Abyss, saying he was hospitalized with severe burns, released, but he will not be here tonight. They plugged Foley's farewell three times here.

1 -- MOTOR CITY MACHINEGUNS (ALEX SHELLEY & CHRIS SABIN) vs. SONJAY DUTT (w/So Cal Val) & X Division champion SHEIK ABDUL BASHIR

Unless I missed something the two weeks of Impact I missed, Guns were heels disrespecting everyone and now they're working as babyfaces. Oh, that's right, it's just the interchangeable X Division. Tenay said Mick Foley was signed for a one-time only himself for Bound for Glory, so he's giving his farewell tonight. Meanwhile, Samoa Joe isn't here tonight. As for the match, the action quickly broke down, then Val tripped up Shelley from the outside. Back in the ring, Sabin worked on Dutt to set up Shelley for a top rope frog splash and the win.

WINNERS: Guns in 3:00. Focus was on everything except the match here, which was too quick to establish any flow or sense of purpose. (*)

Post-match: Kurt Angle's music hit and Angle stormed to the ring during the Guns celebration. Angle kicked both in the gut, then tossed both men to the outside. He then went to the floor and clotheslined both of the Guns. Back in the ring, he gave Dutt a crisp Olympic Slam. Angle then took the mic and said no one sneaks out a win against him and walks away from wrestling. He said the War is continuing against Jarrett. Angle asked if Jarrett is a champ like him or a candyass hick from Nashville? He said he's going to pick apart the "TNA talent" (ugh) until it's just them two left.

Backstage: Jeremy Borash caught up to Kevin Nash arriving at the building. Nash said it wasn't unexpected for him to show up. He said someone paid for his airline tickets. Nash said he's been waiting 10 months after Joe disrespected him and Scott Hall. (And we've had to sit through TNA booking Joe's character off that promo for 10 months.) Now, Nash is number one and that's the way it's going to be.

[Commercial Break]

[Q2]

Impact Zone: They focused on a few fans in the front row throwing up the Hook 'em Horns for the number one ranked Texas Longhorns. Instant thumbs up tonight. ... Video package focused on the Sting vs. Joe match in the main event of BFG. They showed Kevin Nash suddenly showing up to interfere on Joe's behalf initially, then Sting's behalf to give him the belt.

Impact Zone: Sting's music hit and out walked the new TNA hvt. champion with the belt slung over his shoulder. Mixed reaction, then heavy cheers during the ring entrance. Sting took the mic and proclaimed himself the new champion. Mix of cheers and boos. He said that it's not him that's supposed to be here because it's supposed to be Samoa Joe standing here as champion. Sting said he can also look in Joe's eyes and say Joe was the better wrestler at BFG and he is the better wrestler.

Sting said he bit off a little more than he could chew, but he knew that Joe could have beaten him in 10 minutes. Instead, Joe chose to mock him and his generation instead of getting the win. Sting said Joe tried to embarrass him, humiliate him, and put him out of wrestling, so it's because of Joe's disrespect that he is champion and Joe is not. Sting said he always took the one, two, three and walked away because he had respect. He said this title is his, not Joe's, and it's going to stay that way.

Sting said when he walked into the locker room, there was a group of guys who shook his hands and there was a group of guys who didn't shake his hand. He named A.J. Styles, then Styles's music interrupted. Styles said he is friends with Joe and has been for a long time. He said that if Sting would actually listen, he would get the respect. Styles said that while he is on the road every weekend away from his family, Sting is at home coaching his son's football team. Styles said guys like Low-Ki, Christopher Daniels, and himself were the ones who laid the foundation. They built the house while Sting came in to hang a nice, expensive chandelier. And he wonders why they don't give Sting any respect. (Fans weren't really buying into Styles's promo here, as casual fans simply don't care about the behind-the-scenes part of the wrestling business.)

Sting had no answer, so he went after Styles's father. He said Styles is going to turn into his deadbeat father if he keeps acting his way. Styles cursed Sting, then slapped him. Sting paused and said he'll let that one go because of their history. Styles told him not to, then he slapped Sting a second time. Sting then tackled Styles and pushed him to the outside. They brawled to the floor with Styles getting in a few licks until security stepped in.

Meanwhile backstage: Kurt Angle was pounding the crap out of Curry Man. Shark Boy tried to make the save, but Angle beat him off with right hand blows. He almost knocked over the two-bit set, but it held up. Eric Young wanted a piece, but Angle tackled him until TNA agents came on the scene for a break-up.

[Commercial Break]

[Q3]

Backstage: Borash was with Booker T and Sharmell in the Booker locker room to discuss facing Hernandez one-on-one tonight. Booker, in his royal accent, said that in his country, the lion is the king of the jungle. He believes the elephant is the true king, though. Booker said that in his country, he goes after the elephant with his bare hands. Sharmell is trying not to crack up laughing here. Booker said he likes the elephant because it's an aphrodisiac for him and his lady. Borash got excited, which freaked out Booker. He asked Borash if he's some sort of horny humping dog or something. Borash wanted to know about the briefcase. Sharmell said that live from Las Vegas next week, he will reveal the contents of the case.

2 -- HERNANDEZ (w/Homicide) vs. BOOKER T (w/Sharmell)

Hernandez gets his first significant singles match here tonight. They went back and forth, then Hernandez wanted the Border Toss at 4:00, but Sharmell hopped on the apron to distract the ref. Hernandez then walked into a kick to the groin and a briefcase shot to the head. Booker got rid of the evidence, then Booker nailed the axe kick for the decisive win.

WINNER: Booker in 5:00. Typical TNA TV match with a short back-and-forth, then outside interference, and a roll-your-eyes finish. This was a chance to focus on Hernandez as a future singles star, but they did nothing for him here. (*)

[Commercial Break]

Backstage: Kurt Angle was stomping away on Rock 'n Rave Infection at some sort of soundstage. Christy Hemme tried to step in, but Angle stared her down and kept on going.

Elsewhere backstage: Lauren brought on Roxxi for an interview before facing Raisha tonight with Awesome Kong lurking. She said she doesn't give a ---- Kong. Lauren laughed at everyone's little brother's potty humor. Roxxi said she doesn't give a ---- about Spike TV either. Roxxi said learned a long time ago that it doesn't matter if you win or lose around here because she's lost a ton of matches, had her head shaved, yet she's still here. Roxxi told Kong to bring it on. She said the harder the better. Oh my. She sarcastically apologized to Spike, then walked off.

[Q4]

[Commercial Break]

Backstage: Lauren caught up with Christy Hemme to get an update on Rock 'n Rave. She was on her way to the hospital to check on them, but she bumped into Cute Kip, Angelina, and Velvet. They grabbed her and held her against her wall, then demanded to know why she was taking up valuable TV time when they should be doing their HD checks for next week. Christy tried to escape, but they held her back until Christy flipped them all off. Velvet and Angelina then threw down Christy against some stairs and stuffed the paper bag over her head. Good times.

Impact Zone: No music and Kurt Angle simply walked out to the ring as Tenay talked about an uneasy feeling and vibe in the building. Angle stared down Dave Penzer, then Tenay and West. He walked over to Penzer and smashed him in the face before tossing him into the ring. Really mad this look more real since Penzer obviously didn't know how to fall gracefully. Angle then bashed him with a shoe before slapping on the anklelock. Refs and security tried to intervene, but Angle shoved them all down.

Jeff Jarrett's music interrupted and Jarrett walked out. Angle smiled and said he wants his re-match. Now. Jarrett said it's over. He said the last place he needs to be is inside a wrestling ring. Angle said that's bulls--- and it's not over until it's over. Jarrett tried to leave, then Angle went back to two years ago before he joined TNA to discuss the lunch they had. Everyone's family was involved. Angle said he knows where Jarrett lives, so how about Uncle Kurt comes to the house and pays his daughters a little visit? Jarrett snapped and tried to get at Angle, but security and refs held him back. Angle simply smiled and danced around the ring before leaving.

Backstage: They showed Mick Foley walking around. Farewell address up next.

[Commercial Break]

[Q5 -- second hour]

Impact Zone: At the top of the second hour, Foley came to the ring to a "Foley, Foley" chant. Foley said he has to be honest that he probably doesn't deserve that. He said he needs to let out a secret that he's held for 23 years. Foley said that for 23 years, he has been a junkie. He was despondent. Then said a rollercoaster junkie. That's not funny. Foley said he was always able to deal with the ups and downs of the wrestling business by looking at it as a giant amusement park. He gave a cheap plug for Orlando, then said maybe he's getting old and sentimental, or Angle rattled his brains. Foley said life and wrestling are a lot like theme parks and rollercoasters. He said he needs to take a step back to take a dip in the hotel pool before re-emerging. Foley said this summer, the thrills were gone (implying it was in WWE). He said his decision to come to TNA was like a nice, refreshing swim in the pool because he re-emerged ready for more thrills and more fun.

Foley said that with the incredible athletes here in TNA (how about you name one or two?), the last two or three weeks has been one of the greatest thrill rides of his life. Unfortunately, there are only so many times a guy can be the special guest ring enforcer. Actually, that number is one, he said. Foley said he has loved his time here, but it's time to say good-bye. Foley said he only wishes the ride could have lasted a little bit longer. Tenay had to chime in that they hope the ride could have been longer. Lethal, Creed, and refs then walked out on the entrance ramp to hug Foley. Styles did as well. Jarrett then showed up to ask Foley for ten minutes of his time to convince him otherwise. The guy was there for THREE WEEKS and they're acting like Flair's retirement. It appears to be part of a storyline, but this just came across like TNA and Foley completely separated from reality. Plus, you just had these refs beat up by Angle, you just had Jarrett utterly upset with Angle, but here they're acting like nothing happened with Angle. Just a complete mess.

[Commercial Break]

Announcers: Tenay spoke that they're trying to make sense of Jarrett's words with Foley moments ago. He then brought in Jim Cornette on the Lee Marshall road report phone line from Las Vegas for some words. Cornette said he has to address some problems happening this week right now. He said Angle is out of control, so he's booking Angle against the only guy he thinks can handle Angle, the blueprint Matt Morgan.

3 -- RAISHA SAEED (w/Awesome Kong) vs. ROXXI

Raisha dominated things to start the match, then she paint-brushed Roxxi on the back of the head to taunt her. Raisha mounted Roxxi and drove a knee to the throat, then Roxxi tried to fight back from her knees. Roxxi instead delivered a scoop slam and wanted a top rope move, but Roxxi moved out of the way. Roxxi decided she wanted a piece of Kong, but Kong smashed her with a clothesline on the floor. Kong tried a spinning back fist, but Roxxi moved and kicked Kong down. Back in the ring, Roxxi nailed the Voodoo Drop on Raisha for the win.

WINNER: Roxxi in 4:00. Fine effort from Roxxi. (*)

[Q6]

Post-match: Roxxi celebrated for the hard cam, allowing Kong to slip into the ring from behind. Roxxi then turned around and Kong gave her a chest bump that knocked Roxxi across the ring. Kong with the implant buster for the final word.

Backstage: Lauren brought in Matt Morgan, who appeared to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown. He quietly said that Matt Morgan is a main event waiting to happen. Morgan said his mind is far away from this match against Angle, though, because he's thinking about his boy, Chris Parks, for letting him get into the Monter's Ball deal that caused him to get burned. Morgan said this isn't just his partner, but his best friend. He asked what kind of people put someone through a flaming table. Lauren said that's fine, but he has to focus on the match tonight against a raving lunatic. Morgan said being wrong place, wrong time is a huge 7 foot understatement. OK?

[Commercial Break]

Backstage: Christy Hemme back on the show with Lauren. Christy said that if she weren't going to the hospital right now, she would be taking out Angelina and Velvet right now. She vowed to make sure one of those sluts doesn't make it out of Vegas.

Announcers: Tenay and West plugged Vegas Live next week with Bashir vs. Lethal for the X Division Title, Taylor Wilde vs. Kong for the Knockouts Title, Booker's briefcase revealed, and a re-match of the Monster's Ball with some sort of text voting. Yes, Abyss is booked for the match, which means he's perfectly fine and Morgan doesn't have to worry about his partner when wrestling Angle tonight. I wonder if anyone will inform Morgan that Abyss is OK and he can focus on Angle. Also, main event of Joe & Styles vs. Sting & Nash.

Backstage: Borash was with Consequences Creed, who was not focused on anything in particular. Creed flipped out on Borash and said there is never a wrong time for opportunity. He told Borash to tell Nash to bring his A, B, and C games to the ring tonight. Creed plugged the TNA Impact video game, then told Borash to tell Nash that Creed is coming, Creed is coming. Yeah. Yeah.

[Commercial Break. A commercial aired for Hulk Hogan's new show on CMT. Focus was on Hogan and the random celebrities to be involved on the show.]

Impact Zone: Kevin Nash wobbled to the ring for the match against Creed coming up. It doesn't look like those knees have much give. Creed then bounced out ready to face Nash, who was definitely not impressed with the opposition tonight.

[Q7]

4 -- CONSEQUENCES CREED vs. KEVIN NASH

The bell sounded and Nash simply asked if this guy is done dancing around yet. Nash quickly nailed a knee to the gut after feigning a lock-up, then he landed clubbing forearms to the back. Creed then tried to use his speed to work around Nash, but Nash grabbed his foot and spun him around into a leaping clothesline. Nash then slapped on a Cobra Clutch before throwing Creed down to the mat. He wanted the Jacknife Powerbomb and easily connected. Nash then fell down to the mat for the cover and the easy win.

WINNER: Nash in 2:00. Just a set-up for Nash's rant... (n/a)

Post-match: Nash took the mic and said the new generation of guys around here like Unconscious Creed, Styles, and Joe are either the most arrogant or stupidest s.o.b.'s he's ever met. Nash said that if Joe couldn't see what was coming at BFG, then he must have forgot about running his mouth on Scott Hall 10 months ago. How could we forget since TNA has booked Joe off that for 10 months? Nash said the only people dumber than Joe and Styles are the people sitting in this building still cheering him. He said he was told the story of David and Goliath back in the day. Same with Jack and the beanstalk.

Nash said the reason why people have always disdained him is because he's not a dumb ogre like Goliath because he's the most intelligent man the business has ever produced. He pointed to two people in the front row and said they're dumb enough to bring their wives who are spending the night wondering what it would be like to be with him in bed. Nash said the other thing is that the sum of everyone's income in the building isn't enough to add up to how much money he spends in the strip joint in a month. He said he's the greatest ever and you don't have to agree, but you better learn to love it. He smiled and left the ring to a basic heel reaction. Just another mess of a promo in the context of a wrestling show. Everyone is just doing their own thing now with no sense of purpose of direction. And why not? There's no goal, mission, or central theme to this entire broadcast, so why not just b.s. on the mic and cut a wild promo.

Backstage: Borash snuck up at Jarrett's office door to eavesdrop on Foley and Jarrett. The door swung open and they shook hands. Jarrett said he's dead serious on whatever offer there is to Foley. Foley said he had to go wipe his Angle, but he'll consider the offer and meet at the car. Jarrett said he would be "getting his phone," then meet at the car. Jarrett closed the door, then Foley said he can't comment on what they discussed. Borash turned to the imaginary camera following the action and addressed it that he's going to find some answers. This entire show has been a direct violation of backstage camera storytelling.

[Commercial Break]

Long video package: They had a highlight reel music video with the "Cross the Line" mantra repeated over and over in the chorus while clips of every highspot imaginable playing.

Backstage: Lauren brought in Team 3D to discuss the "assault" on Chris Parks that didn't seem like it was part of a wrestling match. Brother Ray took exception and asked why people would expect anything less than that what they did in a hardcore match. He said that in Abyss's sick mind, he probably enjoyed it anyways. Ray said the people also got what they wanted because that's the type of violence they expect from 3D. He said that in Vegas, 3D is bringing sex, blood, and rock 'n roll to the re-match. Devon chimed in they're also bringing tables.

[Q8]

Impact Zone: Kurt Angle came out for the main event. He looked focused, then Matt Morgan stormed the ring focused on Angle.

5 -- KURT ANGLE vs. MATT MORGAN

West said he hopes his isn't just a situation where Cornette is putting a finger in the dike to control Angle's rage. OK, I know what analogy he was going for, but on this show with all sorts of sexually explicit segments, that's probably not a good choice of words. Match started with Morgan knocking Angle to the floor with a shoulder tackle causing Angle to regroup. On the floor, Morgan continued to bash Angle before doing Undertaker's leg drop across the apron. More gimmick infringement when we return!

[Commercial Break]

They returned with Morgan landing a cross body block for a nearfall that dizzied Angle a little. Morgan wanted a suplex, but Angle bailed to the floor to regroup. Tenay said they would have an update on Foley and Jarrett at the end of the show. Angle then easily trapped Morgan in a game of cat and mouse to begin his attack on Morgan. Angle landed a right hand, then Morgan came back with a right hand. After a mid-ring exchange, Morgan landed an elbow smash and a corner splash followed by a sidewalk slam for a nearfall. Morgan then ducked a clothesline and nailed a bicycle kick for a nearfall. Morgan then nailed the Helevator move on Angle, but Angle rolled a shoulder to kick out. Morgan limped to his feet, then he went for a slam, but Angle easily slipped out and nailed the Olympic Slam for the pin and the win.

WINNER: Angle in 11:00. Morgan had plenty of offense to retain some level of credibility, but at the end of the day, he was just another younger wrestler in a TV main event that we won't remember by next week. (**)

Post-match: Angle went back on the attack, trying to take apart Morgan's left knee. Angle tried to rip it apart while fans looked to the backstage area, then Abyss's music hit and out walked Abyss in street clothes. So, is it Chris Parks or Abyss? Abyss stared down Angle, who slowly left the ring, then he walked over to Morgan to check on him. Angle snuck back into the ring, though, and blindsided him with right hand blows on his injured body. Angle rocked Abyss with multiple blows, then he tore off his shirt to expose the bandages and land multiple kicks. Angle slapped on the anklelock, but Tenay didn't care. Let's get Jarrett and Foley!

Backstage: Borash caught up to Jarrett for a scoop. Jarrett said they were talking about McCain, bail-out, and the mortgage industry. Jarrett closed the door, then Borash went over to Foley to ask him. Foley said they'll be making a huge announcement in Vegas next week. He said it will shake the foundation of the wrestling world. The usual over-sell from TNA, then Foley said what happens in Vegas will be shared with everyone. The car pulled away while Borash wanted more of a scoop.

We welcome your 1-10 score and comments on this show for an "Impact Reax" feature in the Torch Feedback section of PWTorch.com. To contribute your thoughts on Impact, click here.


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