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KELLER'S TNA IMPACT
OCTOBER 9, 2008
AIRED ON SPIKE TV
TAPED IN ORLANDO, FLA.
[Q1]
-The show opened with Jeff Jarrett sitting at a desk. Jeremy Borash asked him how he feels going into his first match in nearly two years. Jarrett said he is understandably nervous because his opponent Kurt Angle wrestles "around the world on a nightly basis." Borash asked if that means he's having second thoughts. Jarrett said no. He said it's become personal with Angle, "and win loser or draw, I'm leaving it all in the ring." Borash noticed Angle's gold medal. Jarrett grabbed it and said he had big plans for it, then left the office quickly. Borash's orange face got bug-eyed and he asked, "What plans!?"
-A video feature aired on the Angle-Jarrett match at Bound for Glory (BFG) with Mick Foley as special referee. The Smashing Pumpkins song played again as the official theme of BFG.
-The Impact opening aired, then Mike Tenay and Don West introduced the show. Tenay said on Sunday, "It's not about business; it's strictly personal." They also hyped Samoa Joe vs. Sting.
-Christian Cage's full ring entrance took place. Tenay talked about how Christian has to pick sides. He said it's been "so intriguing to see Christian Cage remain non-comital." The scripting for Tenay makes him sound so lame. He'd be so much better off with basic talking points than word-for-word scripted lines, although even then some of what he says could sound forced and awkward. He said Christian loves being the center of attention, and lately he has been. Christian began by saying people have been waiting for him to pick a side. He said he's The Champ and he'll pick a side when he wants to pick a side. "Or maybe I don't want to pick a side," he added. "Or better yet, maybe I don't need to pick a side." Booker T's music interrupted.
As Booker and Sharmell walked out, Tenay said there's question what side Booker is on. Tenay said there are two questions regarding Booker: What's in Sharmell's briefcase and what accent will he have this week. He told Christian that they should be on the same page given all they share in common. He said he made A.J. Styles what he is today, but now he wants to move him out of the spotlight and take it for himself. Styles's music then played.
As Styles walked out, Tenay explained needlessly that Booker has been trying to plant a seed of doubt with Christian regarding Styles. Styles asked Christian if he can see what Booker's up to. Styles said he thought Christian was the master-manipulator, but he said Booker is pulling Christian's strings like a puppet. (That line might be okay if Christian showed any signs of being manipulated by Booker, but all he did was stand there and listen silently.) Styles asked Booker if he's about respect or just the spotlight. He asked Booker to define respect for him. As Booker began to speak, Styles told him to shut up. "I don't want to hear another word of your ridiculous accent you've come up with," he said. Booker turned to Christian and said that proves he has no respect for them. "Listen to the bass in his voice." He told Styles he doesn't know whom he's messing with. Styles said he knows and he better get out of his face. Booker told Christian he's talking to him with disrespect. Jim Cornette interrupted.
Tenay totally needlessly said immediately, "Oh, this is going to get interesting with the arrival of TNA management's Jim Cornette." (Give Cornette a title, please.) He said he's heard them arguing. He said nobody is backing up any of their slurs or arguments. He said there's room for another match on Impact. The crowd cheered. Yeah, actual wrestling instead of talking. He said tonight Booker T would face Styles later. Booker said, "I did not come here to wrestle tonight." Cornette mocked his accent and said he will wrestle. Cornette assigned Christian as the special referee. Cornette said he doesn't care how it goes down, but he's going to settle it tonight. Tenay said this should help answer the question of which side Christian is on. (That might be true, except Christian explicitly indicated he's not really on a side yet and might not pick one. Basically, Christian said there's nothing hidden in this box, and then Tenay said maybe we'll now find out what Christian hid in the box. Low IQ booking.)
-Borash interviewed Sting in the rafters. The lighting really showed off Sting's aging face in this segment. Wow. He looked 60 in that shot rather than his usual younger-than-his-age look. He said it's the biggest match of his life on Sunday. He said it's not about the glory and the applause and the title, but his reputation. He said he's representing people all over the United States who have been disrespected. He said he's taking a stand. Borash asked if he doesn't win, then what? Sting said, "That's not an option."
-They showed the exterior of Sears Centre in Chicago, the site of Bound for Glory. It really does help TNA seem less regional and small time to be in a major arena in a major city for their annual biggest event.
[Commercial Break]
1 -- RHINO vs. CUTE KIP (w/Angelina Love, Velvet Sky)
Tenay asked what plans Jarrett has for Angle's gold medal. (My hunch is nobody cares.) Rhino jump-started the match at ringside, sending Love and Sky scurrying away. As Rhino grabbed a table from under the ring, Kip attacked him. He whipped Rhino into the security railing. Sky and Love hugged each other and laughed near by at ringside. Kip settled into a chinlock a minute into the match in the ring. As Rhino set up a table in the corner of the ring a minute later, Kip recovered and took over. Rhino just looks like an idiot constantly giving Kp time to recover while setting up or grabbing tables. Kip moved out of Rhino's path, but then Sky sprayed Rhino's eyes. He conveniently stumbled into the table so Kip could spear him through it. The whole thing felt contrived and all-too-TNA-like where near falls of course don't count because matches don't end unless someone interferes first. It's a bankrupt approach to match booking.
WINNER: Kip in 4:00.
-Afterward, Khaka Khan and ODB ran out to stop a post-match attack on Rhino. Kip bailed out and walked away with Sky and Love.
[Commercial Break]
-Borash ran up to Angle backstage and told him Jarrett has his gold medal. Angle wondered what Jarrett was up to. He said he's like his old man, "using his brain like I use my anklelock." He said he's going to sit back and let Jarrett make the first move.
2 -- PETEY WILLIAMS vs. SONJAY DUTT (w/So Cal Val) vs. "BLACK MACHISMO" JAY LETHAL vs. CONSEQUENCES CREED
Creed still has the most unfortunate gimmick in all of pro wrestling today. West said the winner of this match faces Sheik Abdul Bashir at BFG. Dutt kissed Val for inspiration at ringside early. Creed, meanwhile, took control of Petey inside the ring.
[Q3]
As Petey held Creed, Dutt hit him in the stomach with brass knuckles. Dutt tried to give Petey a cheap shot, but Creed threw him out of the ring. Pete gave Creed a side Russian leg sweep, then signalled for the Canadian Destroyer. It makes wrestlers look so ridiculously inept when they're constantly posturing and telegraphing moves in a four-way type of match. Obviously, they're giving one of the other opponents time to stop them. Who wants to watch stupid wrestlers do stupid things? Dutt surprised Creed wiht a springboard moonsault for a two count. We knew it wouldn't be the finish because it wasn't "controversial enough." Dutt set up Dutt for a Destroyer, but Creed interjected. Creed then kicked Dutt. Petey then set upa Destroyer. Lethal charged into the ring and hit the Lethal Conbination. Creed dropped Lethal onto Petey. As Creed celebrated, Dutt jumped him. Creed turned it into a backslide for the win.
WINNER: Creed in 5:00. The final 30 seconds was really exciting and pulled off well. A lot of good athleticism throughout. But to frenetic overall.
-Lauren interviewed Bashir who said he looks forward to beating Creed, draped in red, white, and blue. He yelled about America taking his wife and children and giving him a lethal injection. "With my pain will come bloodshed," he said. "Lady America tortures me with her lies, propaganda." He said he will torture Creed in a much more physical way.
[Commercial Break]
-Karen's Angle with guest Mick Foley. She said she wants to let him talk about whatever he wants to talk about. Foley said he's happy to be there. He said last week was one of the biggest nights of his life. He said it was in some ways the first day of the rest of his life. Well, isn't every night the first day of the rest of everyone's life? He said he feels he's in a place where a difference can be made. He said he didn't get that feeling in WWE. He said for the sake of the wrestling business and for selfish reasons for himself, he likes to be somewhere he can make a difference. He said Jarrett's return "was an act of more courage than I could muster." He said he's thrilled to be part of such a big match. He said he appreciates about Angle that every night he tries to be the best and steal the show. He said his greatest strength might be his biggest weakness. He said it bothers him that Jeff Jarrett considers him the greatest acquisition in TNA history.
Karen asked about Jarrett's return after a difficult situation the last two years. Foley said he's been through a terrible time and he may not be able to help but let his emotions get the best of him. He said maybe he can be a mentor of sorts for Jarrett.
-Tenay and West were shown on camera and hyped BFG's line-up.
-Borash interviewed Rhino backstage. Rhino was his usual ass and shoved Borash away. He said he's going to set up one table in one corner and another in another and play a vicious game of Gore the Whore. It wouldn't be a TNA show with a little over-the-top woman hating violence being implied or promised.
[Commercial Break]
[Q4]
-Tenay threw to a video package on Steve "Mongo" McMichael. He talked about being the special referee for the Monster's Ball at BFG. He said it will be the most barbaric hardcore brawl ever. He promised complete chaos and a smash-mouth night.
3 -- BEER MONEY (James Storm & Robert Roode w/Jacqueline) vs. MATT MORGAN & ABYSS -- Non-Title match
Morgan came out before his partner Abyss. They each came out to their own music. Abyss yanked hair out of his head and handed it to a young fan at ringside. That's funny. Team 3D then came out and joined Tenay and West at ringside after their full ring intro. Morgan overhead tossed Roode in the opening minute. When he set up Storm for the same thing, Roode clipped him from behind. Storm worked over Morgan's leg, then Roode yanked his leg around the ringpost as Storm distracted the ref. At 3:00 Morgan hot-tagged Abyss, but the ref didn't see it and didn't allow it. The heels double-teamed Morgan. A minute later Abyss did get the hot tag and beat up both heels. Ray said they might bring lighter fluid, a match, and a torch to the Monster's Ball. Morgan tagged back in and gave Roode a big boot. Storm kicked Morgan from behind. Abyss set up a Black Hole Slam, but Storm escaped. Morgan caught Storm with another boot and then Abyss hit the Black Hole Slam for the win.
WINNERS: Morgan & Abyss in 5:00. The whole thing just felt too rushed. Throw in overwhelming commentary from Team 3D and it was just difficult to really settle in and enjoy. Watching it felt like being in a crashing elevator.
-Lauren interviewed Homicide & Hernandez backstage. Their act is so much more authentic feeling without Hector Guerrero there. The promo was awkwardly edited. Homicide said in Chicago they're going to elevate their hate. He promised blood.
-West touted a picture of a billboard in Chicago touting the arrival of Bound for Glory. He said the entire city is fired up.
[Commercial Break]
-A video package aired recapping the Jarrett-Angle storyline developments from last week.
[Q5]
-Mick Foley came out at the very start of the second hour. Well-timed for once. (It led to a ratings jump of 0.90 in the previous segment to a 0.93 for this segment. Hardly what TNA paid for, but it's hardly just Foley's fault, but hardly reflects on him as a star with the clout to single-handedly bring in new viewers.) As Foley walked to the ring, Tenay some key items were not shown from the original 45 minute Karen's Angle interview. Tenay said Foley said BFG is Foley's only contractual commitment to TNA. (So wait a second. Foley said coming to TNA feels like the first day of the rest of his life and he feels he is finally somewhere he can make a difference, but now we're to believe he's only in for one night? The level of sloppiness to this is just asinine. Do they step back and look at this show and see the contradictions like this?) Tenay added that Karen is stepping away from Karen's Angle to spend more time with her family. (Or, TNA realized it was a ratings-killer, and Karen and Kurt have filed for divorse.)
Foley entered the ring and made reference to his own corduroy sports jacket. He said Brother Ray "kidnapped, hijacked, and effectively bastardized the red and black flannel vest." He asked fans to bear with him stylistically as he tries to come up with an entirely new wardrobe. (You know, for this final appearance on TNA Impact before he makes his one contractual obligation to TNA at BFG. Try to bear with him on this voyage that is billed as ending Sunday.) Foley said it's time to get serious. He thanked the fans for making his debut last week something he'll never forget. He said he's been fortunate to have a lot of great moments in his career, but last week will hold a special place in his heart. He said he knew last week there was potential for a great moment to occur, as all the pieces were in place, but there was magic in the air to make it happen. He said when he stands in the ring as special guest enforcer, he will watch Kurt Angle, possibly the greatest wrestler of all-time, go head-to-head with Jarrett after a two year absence, trying to carve out a space for himself as one of the all-time greats in the ring (no chance; sorry, Jeff). He said he will deal with any interference harshly and immediately. "That much I can guarantee you," he said. He then threw to intros for Angle and Jarrett. Angle came out first. Then Jarrett.
The fans in the Impact Zone chanted "Double J! Double J." Foley asked Jarrett if he had anything to say. Jarrett said TNA ultimately made a huge mistake in hiring him. The crowd reaction was missed. Jarrett said it was bad judgment. He told Angle that facing him on Sunday is what Angle wanted. He then handed over the gold medal. He told him he earned it. Foley asked Angle if he had any last words. Angle shook his head no. Foley asked them to shake hands. Jarrett reached out. Angle hesitantly did the same. Tenay called it the most personal and emotional match in TNA history. (That statement is so incongruent with the image of Jarrett handing over Angle his gold medal and then the two shaking hands.) As it appeared the segment was over, Angle stopped Jarrett from leaving the ring and thanked him for giving him back his gold medal. He asked him for one more favor. He said, "When you go home, can you tell your three little girls that I apologize." Jarrett gave him an icy stare. The fans applauded. Angle concluded: "Because daddy's not coming home after Bound for Glory." West said, "What a son of a bitch." Tenay said, "Just when you think it couldn't get any more personal, Kurt Angle pushes the envelope once again."
[Commercial Break]
-Tenay and West announced that The Beautiful People & Cute Kip vs. Rhaka Kahn & Rhino & ODB had just been signed. It's called a "Bimbo Brawl." (I know it's an alliteration and all, but there's just no reason to call that a Bimbo Brawl. Kip and Rhino are in it, for one. Khan is hardly portrayed as a "bimbo." It's just thoughtless and excessive and needless.) They ran down the rest of the line-up again.
[Q6]
-A "Cross the Line" personality vignette aired with a bunch of empty cliches that everybody has toned out. We got words and cliches like "immortality" and "school of hard knox" and "he's no strange to pain" and "hardship" and "obscurity" and "lessons soon learned." It's poetic in delivery, but utterly meaningless.
-Borash interviewed Booker and Sharmell in their locker room. Borash asked for a prediction of which side Christian would be on. He went into a stronger accent reminiscent of Mr. Ekko on "Lost" and predicted Christian would be on his side. He said Styles is only worthy of picking up dog poop. He said Styles should be honored to be in the ring with a living legend. Borash asked Sharmell about the briefcase. She said Booker will reveal the contents only when the time is right. Booker said, "The time is approaching."
[Commercial Break]
-Another in the series of "Rough Cut" personality profile vignettes aired on Roxxi. Taylor Wilde said she's not familiar with the hardcore style herself, but she knows it's about how much you can endure and "mind over matter." Roxxi said it's her time and she'll show what she can do at Bound for Glory.
4 -- AWESOME KONG & RAISHA SAEED vs. ROXXI & TAYLOR WILDE
They still have that horrible picture of Taylor Wilde on their website on the roster page. It doesn't even look like her. Taylor hot-tagged Roxxi at 2:00. She threw a barrage of chops and punches. They didn't look like they really had much impact on Kong's large chest. Roxxi dove onto Kong with two knees and scored a two count. Saeed interfered. Taylor mistakenly kicked Roxxi in the head. Tenay called it "miscommunication." It really wasn't. Kong just ducked. As Taylor checked on Roxxi, Saeed grabbed her from behind. Kong tripped Taylor coming off the ropes. Saeed then set up a top rope moonsault on Roxxi, but Roxxi moved. As Roxxi set up her finisher on Saeed, Kong forearmed her from behind. She then gave Roxxi the Implant Buster (probably not a good name for when Roxxi is the victim) for the win.
WINNERS: Kong & Saeed in 4:00.
[Commercial Break]
5 -- BOOKER T vs. A.J. STYLES with Christian Cage as special referee
West said he's seen Styles's independence coming back lately. At 2:00 they cut to a break as Styles had Booker in a chinlock.
[Commercial Break]
Styles took Booker down with a forearm after the break, then stomped on him. West and Tenay talked about the BFG FanFest happenings leading up to the PPV. Tenay said Cornette sent word to them that Angle and Sting both asked for a very special clause to be added to the contact, and that will be revealed at the contract signing after this match. West said Christian is a veteran, but he's about the same age as Styles and Joe because he's been around so long. West announced that tickets are on sale for an Impact taping on Oct. 23 in Las Vegas at the Hard Rock. Styles took a beating for a few minutes, but then surprised Booker with a Pele kick. At 9:00 he hit two clothelines and a snap suplex for a near fall. We knew the match wouldn't end because TNA has trained us that matches between big names don't end unless there's controversy. Styles applied an armbar, but Booker reached the bottom rope. Styles argued with Christian. That gave Booker time to recover and give him a back suplex into a bridge for an apparent three count. Sharmell celebrated. Christian grabbed Booker's arm and said his shoulders were down. Christian then raised Styles's arm. Styles thanked Christian. Booker charged at Styles, but almost hit Christian. Christian then clotheslined Styles for no reason. West said he sent a message to Styles that he just did the right thing as referee, but he wasn't taking side.
WINNER: Styles in 10:00.
STAR RATING: **
[Q8]
-Afterward, Cornette entered the ring and yelled that he wanted to settle everything, but nothing to settled. He then announced Styles vs. Christian vs. Booker in a three-way dance. Tenay said he didn't think there was any way for this happen, but BFG just got bigger.
[Commercial Break]
-Cornette stood mid-ring and introduced the contract signing for Joe vs. Sting. Sting was the first to come out to his full ring intro. Joe then came to the ring through the crowd. Cornette announced that at the request of both men, they were adding a clause to the contract that there would be no rematch. Sting signed it first, then Joe. Joe said he hasn't stomped him in to the ground or wrapped his fingers around his throat because if Kevin (Nash) taught him anything, it was to be professional above everything else. He said Sting is wrong about him "because I do respect you." Joe reached for a handshake. Sting shook his head. Joe headbutted Sting. Sting took a deep breath and punched back. They bad a pullapart brawl. Tenay said Sting was a powder keg just ready to explode. Joe yelled at Sting as they were held apart. Good crescendo.
-A music video to Smashing Pumkins' "Tarantula" then aired with final hype for the line-up with a mix of the original music video and TNA footage. Send feedback on this article to pwtorch@gmail.com and we'll regularly publish reader feedback in the "Torch Feedback" category on the Main Listing.
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