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TV REPORTS
CALDWELL'S WWE RAW REPORT 9/29: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of live USA Network broadcast

Sep 29, 2008 - 10:12:40 PM
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By James Caldwell, PWTorch columnist

WWE Raw Live Report
September 29, 2008
Minneapolis, Minn.


I'm back in the saddle this week after two weeks of not having power at home following our friend Ike visiting Houston. Thanks to Greg Parks for filling in admirably. On with the show.

The Raw before the No Mercy PPV started with Michael Cole introducing the most momentous week in WWE history. Cole and Jerry Lawler talked about Michaels being allowed to choose a mystery partner tonight to face Jericho and Cade. Also, WrestleMania 24 sneak peek tonight ahead of the network TV debut of Mania on MyNet later this week.

In-ring: Batista then started things off by coming to the ring for the opening contest. Cole and Lawler hyped Batista vs. JBL in a #1 Contender match at No Mercy on Sunday. Santino Marella then came out with Beth Phoenix to match up against Batista. Two weeks without Santino has been unbearable. Santino said before they engage in battle, Batista might want to see something. Cue up the Honk-a-meter where Santino has only 58 weeks to become greatest IC champ of all the time.

Santino then introduced his newest graphic, the Brain Barometer. He said the average human brain has 6 trillion brain cells. Meter has Santino with 10 trillion cells. But, ole Batista only has 12 brain cells. Batista just laughed at this. Santino vowed to knock out 10 of the 12 right now. He said he is going to leave Batista in worse shape than the U.S. economy. Too soon. Too soon. Batista just laughed and warmed himself up until Santino entered the ring.

1 -- BATISTA vs. IC champion SANTINO MARELLA (w/Women's champ Beth Phoenix)

Batista quickly smashed Santino with a forearm smash before warming up for the Batista bomb. Batista nailed the finisher with an eye on Beth, then Batista made the cover for the quick win. Afterward, Beth hopped onto the apron to voice her displeasure with Batista's work in the ring. Suddenly, JBL snuck into the ring from behind and knocked a few brain cells with the Clothesline from Hell on Batista. JBL stared down at Batista's fallen body, then he slowly walked out of the ring. JBL looks like he's lost a little weight and appears to be in better shape than I last remember.

WINNER: Batista in 1:00. Quick, effective opening match. Santino is expected to talk and get his rear end handed to him, so that was fine. JBL with a nice set-up for No Mercy with Batista seeking revenge. (n/a)

Backstage: Todd Grisham brought in Shawn Michaels to talk about the tag match tonight involving Lance Cade. Michaels said he knew Lance Cade was good 10 years ago when he trained him, but he didn't realize it would be shown at his own expense. Michaels then hyped the ladder match at No Mercy and guaranteed victory. Grisham asked who the partner will be tonight.

Michaels said Batista has his hands full tonight, so he's given it some thought and this is what he's come up with... How about a tag team alliance with a real American? (Hogan.) How about HBK and a Texas Rattlesnake? (Austin.) Or the Best there is, the best there is, and the best there ever will be? (Hart). No dice. Michaels realized this wasn't working, so he suggested he's going to find someone who actually... likes him. Michaels gave a big shrug and walked off the set.

[Commercial Break]

In-ring: Cryme Tyme came to the ring out of the break. J.T.G. is in singles action tonight. The Miz then came out with John Morrison as the opposition. Word Up vs. the Dirt Sheet tonight. They even gave us a clip of a recent Dirt Sheet with Miz and Morrison suggesting JTG was crapped out in a toilet at birth. I sure haven't missed the potty humor.

[Q2]

2 -- JTG (w/Shad Gaspar) vs. THE MIZ (w/John Morrison)

Miz was his usual annoying self early on with some mockery of JTG in between working him over on the mat. Morrison then tried to provide a distraction at 3:00, but Shad knocked him off the apron. Meanwhile, Miz caught JTG in the ring with the Reality Check high knee and neckbreaker combo for the pin and the win with Shad too late re-entering the ring to make the save. Miz and Morrison had the final word over Cryme Tyme tonight.

WINNERS: Miz & Morrison in 3:00. Fine little tag team rivalry brewing on the undercard. Too bad they're on separate brands to continue muddying the brand split. But, at least there's focus on the tag division. Gotta take it however it comes. (1/2*)

Backstage: Jamie Noble walked up to Jillian Hall, who was checking herself out in the mirror. Noble said he doesn't need any singing tonight, but he does respect her wrestling ability. Noble asked Jillian to be his tag partner tonight in an inter-gender match, but Jillian suggested Noble is a loser. Suddenly, ole Dolph Ziggler interrupted and shook Jillian's hand while flashing a bright smile. Noble wasn't impressed by him. Jillian just looked lost. Or maybe that was the botox talking.

[Commercial Break]

ECW promo: ECW is moving to 9:00 p.m. EST starting next week. Meanwhile, more hype for Hardy vs. Henry set for No Mercy.

In-ring: Jamie Noble came to the ring for the inter-gender deal to face Paul Burchill and Katie Lea. Noble apparently didn't have a partner, then William Regal's music hit and Regal came out on stage with Layla to watch from his throne. Just as the match was set to start, Mickie James came out as Noble's partner. Noble was rather pumped at this prospect.

[Q3]

3 -- JAMIE NOBLE & MICKIE JAMES vs. PAUL BURCHILL & KATIE LEA

Noble started things off to set up a tag to Mickie, who was quickly tripped up by Burchill behind the ref's back. Katie then worked over Mickie while Regal and Layla watched with interest from the stage. Noble eventually took a tag and slammed Burchill with a rolling side suplex before going up top for a missile dropkick. Noble made a cover, but Katie broke up the pin. Mickie then nailed Katie with a top rope splash before flinging her over the top rope to the floor. Burchill tried to make a fiery comeback, but Noble snapped off a Northern Lights suplex into the Noble armbar. Burchill quickly tapped out, giving Mickie and Noble the win. Regal simply stood up and fixed his gaze on the ring where Noble and Mickie celebrated.

WINNERS: Mickie & Noble in 4:00. Good, high-energy match. I like the development of this storyline after Layla dumped Noble for Regal. We'll see where it leads. (*)

[Commercial Break]

Backstage: They showed Cody Rhodes leading Manu and Ted DiBiase, Jr. down a dark hallway to find Kane for a little chit-chat. Cody approached Kane, who was staring deeply at the floor that was bathed in red light. Kane didn't react to Cody's invasion, but Cody kept talking and reminded Kane that his father is Paul Bearer, which makes him a second-generation superstar just like them. Cody said if they just act as a unit out there, they should be good for tonight. Ted interjected that he wants to make sure they're all on the same page.

Kane turned around and stared into Ted's right eye before speaking that he will massacre Rey Mysterio tonight whether they're all on the same page or not. Kane then addressed Cody and Manu to stay out of his way or else there will be a pile of second generation carcasses in the ring. He said he's going to see his good friend Mike Adamle now. Kane walked away, then Cody took a deep breath.

Video package: They went to clips from the end of Raw last week when Shawn Michaels tried to give Chris Jericho the superkick, only to walk into Lance Cade's finisher, which gave Cade the pinfall over Michaels. ... On-stage: Lance Cade walked out to gloat about the victory last week. Cade said the truth is that he's learned more from Chris Jericho in the last three months than he learned from Michaels in 10 years. He said Jericho is just better, period, than HBK. Cade vowed, on behalf of Jericho, that Jericho will remain World Champion after No Mercy. A fine promo.

[Q4]

In-ring: C.M. Punk came out to kick off an eight-man tag match. Rey Mysterio then came out in a crazy mask while they showed clips of Kane taking out Rey last week.

[Commercial Break]

Back from break, Bourne and Kofi Kingston were in the ring talking strategy. Cody, Teddy, and Manu then came out, followed by Kane to set up the eight-man tag.

4 -- C.M. PUNK & REY MYSTERIO & EVAN BOURNE & KOFI KINGSTON vs. KANE & MANU & World tag team champions CODY RHODES & TED DIBIASE, JR.

The pace quickly picked up when Rey and Bourne knocked Manu to the floor and Bourne went flying over the top rope with a splash onto Manu. Punk and Kofi then hit simultaneous dives onto Cody and Teddy on the floor. On the other side of the floor, Rey followed with a Sentaun splash onto Kane. Crowd fired up. Babyfaces get their shine. Cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

Back from break, the heels were taking turns working over Bourne in their corner. Punk then took a tag at 6:00 and flew off the top rope with a springboard clothesline onto Manu. His advantage was short-lived, though, as Manu took out Punk's legs from behind to set up another round of the heels working over the opposition.

[Q5 -- second hour]

At the top of the second hour, the heels continued to work over Punk's left leg. Fans tried to rally with a C-M-Punk chant as the babyfaces sought a tag. Punk finally escaped with an enziguiri on Kane, but Kane kicked Rey off the apron to prevent a hot tag. And more isolation of Punk in the heel corner. As usual, Cody lost the advantage and Kofi took the big hot tag to work over Cody and knock opponents off the apron. Kofi did a big march across the ropes before nailing the boom-boom leg drop on Cody for a two count.

The action broke down momentarily, then Kane accepted a tag. He didn't see Rey Mysterio, though, and Rey dropkicked Kane from behind. Kofi then wanted a big splash in the corner, but Kane caught Kofi in mid-air with a chokeslam grip. Crowd went from a big cheer to a big oooh as Kane nailed the chokeslam on Kofi in center ring. Kane made the cover for the win. Post-match: Rey and Kane locked eyes to build tension for No Mercy.

WINNERS: Team Kane in 13:00. Good match. Hit a lull for a few minutes, but they used everyone pretty well during the match. Kane as the dominating, yet intelligent monster is exactly how he should be presented. (**)

[Commercial Break]

In-ring: Mike Adamle was in the ring back from break. He apparently didn't realize he was back live on the air, as he was still talking to someone on the floor. Adamle said he had a chat with Kane earlier and Kane made a request for Rey's mask to be on the line on Sunday if his team won the eight-man tag. Adamle said he's a man of his word, Rey will have to unmask on Sunday if he loses to Kane. Is Nash booking this? Randy Orton then interrupted and he entered the ring to stalk Adamle. Orton wanted to make sure Adamle has his cell phone on so he can call Shane McMahon to make sure it's OK with him. He asked Adamle if that's on the list right after shining his shoes and picking up his dry cleaning.

Orton said Adamle needs to re-suspend C.M. Punk right now after Shane over-ruled him last week. Orton told Adamle to stand up for himself and realize Orton is the most valuable commodity on Raw, so things won't be good when Orton isn't happy. He told Adamle to value Orton on his side more than Shane McMahon. And another interruption, this time provided by JBL. "Can anyone finish a thought?" Lawler asked.

JBL, with a whole lot of energy to burn, said he's having a tough week with the market conditions. He said he's lost more money than most people have ever made, so he doesn't want to listen to Orton. JBL said he'll be standing right here in one week as the #1 Contender to either Michaels or Jericho. He asked Orton what he'll be doing. JBL sarcastically said Orton's past was so glorious and grand, which is why he chooses to live in the past as a one-arm gimp. JBL wanted Adamle to give a stipulation that Orton never, ever gets a World Title shot when he becomes champ.

Batista's music then interrupted to keep the theme going. JBL prepared to fight Batista, but Batista slipped in the back door. JBL waited, waited, waited, then realized Batista was behind him and everyone was out of the ring. He tried to spin around, but Batista was already on him for a spear in mid-ring. Batista then picked up the mic and said if JBL thinks he's had a rough week, then it's about to get a lot worse on Sunday. He then celebrated on stage while JBL tried to recover.

[Q6]

Backstage: Santino was on the phone walking down the hallway. Flirtatiously, he asked the person how he/she got his number. Santino kept walking, then found Beth Phoenix waiting for him. Santino quickly told "Frank" he would talk to him later. Beth sarcastically asked who was on the phone. Santino said it was just some sick kid, then he went for a kiss, but Beth cut him off and said he shouldn't come to ringside for the divas tag match. Santino screws everything up, she reasoned. Santino was taken aback, but he obliged and hung back to check his phone after Beth left.

Backstage: They showed Kelly Kelly and Candice Michelle walking arm-in-arm ready for a divas tag match.

[Commercial Break]

In-ring: Kelly Kelly came out first for the divas tag match, followed by Candice Michelle in an unusual outfit for wrestling purposes. Beth and Jillian then walked out as the opposition.

5 -- KELLY KELLY & CANDICE MICHELLE vs. Women's champion BETH PHOENIX & JILLIAN HALL

Candice and Beth started things off to create tension for their Women's Title match at No Mercy. Michelle quickly kicked Beth in the leg before tagging out to Kelly. Candice came back in, then Jillian took advantage and worked her over for a few minutes. Crowd became restless, then Kelly and Beth took tags. Kelly snapped off a flying head scissors, but Beth came back with a running clothesline. Candice broke up the pin attempt, then Jillian yanked Candice to the floor. Kelly tried to roll up Beth from behind, but Beth wasn't going to let it happen two weeks in a row, so she rolled through into a huge front slam for the decisive pin and the win. Afterward, Candice helped Kelly recover while staring down Beth to set up Sunday.

WINNERS: Beth & Jillian in 4:00. Went long and lost the crowd about half-way through. Fine result to set up Sunday, which fit the theme of tonight's show. (1/2*)

Announcers: Cole and Lawler continued to hype Raw as an entertainment juggernaut after episode 800 last week. They plugged the Michaels & ??? vs. Jericho & Cade match for the main event tonight.

[Q7]

[Commercial Break]

In-ring: Deuce is on my TV. Someone has been...um...hitting the weights lately. Great Khali's music hit, then the Great Charli came out on stage with the real translator Runjan Singh by his side. They even did the Andre shot to make Charli seem ten feet tall. In the ring, Charli took the mic and mumbled something. Singh translated to behold the Great Charli and his awesome power. He added that when prepared correctly, curry is both nutritious and delicious.

6 -- GREAT CHARLI (w/Runjan Singh) vs. DEUCE

Charli wobbled into landing the big chop early on, but Deuce had enough and landed a running slam. Deuce wanted a big splash, but Charli got a boot up. Charli then spun to his feet and dropped the gimp walk to fire up with a flurry of offense. Charli came off the top with a big splash and made the cover for the win.

Post-match: The real Great Khali came out on stage with Singh. Charli did Khali's mannerisms in tribute to Khali, who Lawler said he hopes has a sense of humor. Khali stepped into the ring with a big smile on his face while Charli clapped it up. Singh handled the introductions, then Charli raised his arms in front of Khali, who smiled it up. Charli extended his hand for a shake, but Khali smashed him with a big chop to the head. Khali had another good laugh at that development. Is that Penick with the "Fire Coach Childress" sign?

WINNER: Well, it gives Haas something to do. Not necessarily going anywhere right now, but that was a fine filler segment to show that Khali has some personality. (n/a)

[Commercial Break]

[Q8]

Announcers: Cole hyped the whole Raw is Great deal to kick off the big week. ECW debuts at 9:00 p.m. EST tomorrow, then WrestleMania 24 airs on MyNet at 8:00 p.m. EST on Thursday. Then, Smackdown moves to MyNet this Friday. And, spend $40 on a PPV on Sunday. Cole and Lawler segued into a video package on WrestleMania highlights from years past. A good number of Steve Austin and The Rock clips, before ending with Triple H spitting water in slow-mo. Of course.

In-ring: Chris Jericho and Lance Cade slowly made their way to the ring for the tag team main event. Jericho was sporting tape over his right elbow while Cade had both wrists heavily taped. Cade waited on the floor while Jericho took the mic in the ring. Jericho said that when he showed up tonight, someone had the audacity to wish him good luck on Sunday. He said it offended him because he does not need luck when he is better than Michaels is.

Jericho asked Cade to produce a ladder for a demonstration. Cade then rammed the ladder repeatedly into the ring steps and ring apron to show what Jericho is going to do to Michaels with the ladder. Jericho then slammed the ladder over and over in the ring to demonstrate slamming Michaels's head and body in between the rungs of the ladder. Jericho closed by walking underneath the ladder, then he said when you're the best in the world, you don't need luck. Main event next.

[Commercial Break]

In-ring: Jericho and Cade were ready to go for the main event, then after a lengthy pause, Shawn Michaels came out alone. Michaels's music stopped, then he ran back through the curtain. Cade was ready to blow his lid while Jericho tried to remain calm. After another lengthy pause, DX's music hit. Oh boy. After the DX intro blew up the screen, Triple H and Michaels walked out in full DX gear. WWE Shopzone must be in need of a revenue boost today and tomorrow to finish off the third quarter. Michaels and Hunter did the DX entrance on stage, then they stormed the ring to clear the heels. No mic work intro with time short.

[Q9 -- over-run]

7 -- World Hvt. champion CHRIS JERICHO & LANCE CADE vs. SHAWN MICHAELS & WWE champion TRIPLE H

Jericho and Hunter squared off to preview the Night of Champions free TV deal on Smackdown this Friday night. Jericho quickly went for the Walls of Jericho, but Hunter easily flung him aside. Cade wanted a piece of Hunter, but Hunter blocked a suplex with a suplex of his own. Michaels and Jericho played cat and mouse for a second, then Michaels found himself back in the ring to accept a big boot from Cade. Jericho and Cade then worked over Michaels in their corner as Hunter tried to rally the crowd. Jericho wanted a Lionsault, but Michaels moved in time.

Cade took a tag, then Hunter took a hot tag. He worked over Cade before knocking Jericho off the apron to the floor. Cade then walked into a spinebuster and Hunter called for the end. Hunter measured Cade for the Pedigree, but Jericho smashed Hunter with the codebreaker. Cade then delivered a clothesline on Michaels, who was knocked out. The ref called for a DQ when Michaels and Cade continued the double-team assault.

WINNERS: DX via DQ in 5:00. Short main event to set up the post-match, which was fine so they didn't give away too much in the ring bell-to-bell before a PPV. (*)

Post-match: Jericho brought a ladder into the ring to give Michaels additional punishment, but the crowd roared as Hunter snuck back into the ring with a sledgehammer in hand. Jericho bailed, then Hunter gave Cade a quick jab to the gut. Michaels tuned up the band and delivered the superkick, then Hunter finished him off with the Pedigree as Jericho could only shake his head in disbelief. Hunter then set up the ladder in the corner and Michaels climbed to the top. Michaels gave Jericho a crotch chop from the top of the ladder, then he crashed down onto Cade with a big splash. Michaels flopped around the ring and winced in pain, then collected himself on the bottom rope to stare down Jericho, who stared back at him. Hunter helped Michaels up, then DX stared back at Jericho to close the show with the announcers plugging everything happening this week.

We welcome your 1-10 score and comments on this show for a "Raw Reax" feature in the Torch Feedback section of PWTorch.com. To contribute your thoughts on Raw, click here.


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