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WWE Smackdown review
September 5, 2008
Taped 8/31/08 in St. Louis, Mo.
Aired on the CW
Report by Greg Parks, Torch Team Contributor

-In Memory of Walter “Killer” Kowalski: 1926-2008.

-WWE Open.

-A video package aired on General Manager Vickie Guerrero trying to apologize to Undertaker two weeks ago, and her stuck in her office last week. Truly gripping television, that was.

-Smackdown Open.

-JR and Tazz previewed tonight’s main event, Triple H vs. Great Khali in a Lumberjack Match, with the Lumberjacks being the scramble participants.

-Triple H came out to his “King of Kings” theme. He made the obvious joke of the scramble match sounding like something you’d order at 3am at Denny’s. HHH said Joey Styles and his team of “nerds” over at WWE.com informed him he has an 80% chance of losing on Sunday. I wonder what the website crew did to piss Vince off.

Shelton Benjamin came out and said the match is a crapshoot for all involved. Shelton said he plans to add more gold next week to his mantle on Sunday. Benjamin reminded HHH that he dropped Jeff Hardy, MVP and Trips himself last week. We then got a replay of those “droppings.” Triple H basically challenged Shelton to come to the ring and as he began to, MVP interrupted.

He said the King of Bling was better than the King of Kings. MVP accused Shelton of taking a cheap-shot at him last week and the two got into an argument about who did what to who first. HHH broke up the arguing and said that every time before a PPV, he comes to the ring to talk about defending his title at a PPV- “it’s called a ‘promo.’” Then Trips said they interrupt him and talk trash they can’t back up, then he takes the mic and insults them to the point where they get upset and attack him. Then he turns the tables, beats them up and sends them to the dressing room with their tail between their legs never to be heard from the rest of the show. HHH said he’d be champion for the next century. Apparently it upsets him when people argue and he’s not the center of attention.

The Brian Kendrick came out of nowhere to attack, but Trips easily fought him off. Ezekiel took his shirt off and slowly entered the ring, and the distraction led to Kendrick hitting a spinning heel kick on the champ. The heels raced into the ring to do damage, but The Game was saved by Jeff Hardy, who ran in and threw everyone out. That offense lasted until Jeff went to hit a Swanton on Shelton, and Ezekiel crotched him. As he went to attack Jeff, Trips hit him in the back with a chair. That staggered the big man, sending him against the ropes. Kendrick got on the apron and convinced Ezekiel to head out. Jeff and Triple H (with a chair) stood tall in the ring. Well, at least it was a different twist on the “everyone in the match argues and comes out interrupting each other,” as I thought we’d see the carbon copy of Raw’s first segment.

[Commercial Break]

1- R-TRUTH vs. BAM NEELY

Truth came out through the crowd and did some rapping on his way to the ring. High arm-drag by Truth after cartwheeling out of the corner. Neely clobbered Truth with left hands and a short clothesline. Jumping heel kick by Truth, then a flying forearm. Truth went to the top and dropkicked Neely. Axe kick ended the match in favor of Truth.

WINNER: Truth, at 2:15. Better showing for Truth this week.

-On camera, Tazz told fans that Vickie would not be here tonight, and that Undertaker would be. JR and Tazz previewed Jeff Hardy vs. The Brian Kendrick and Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP for tonight. Doesn’t putting these guys in a match take the uniqueness off seeing them together in the ring “for the first time” at the PPV?

[Commercial Break]

-Undertaker was in the ring out of break, just finishing his entrance. Don’t see that too often. He said the anticipation of death is far worse than death itself. He said at Unforgiven, he will be coming for Vickie’s soul. He talked about squeezing her throat until the life leaves her body. Anyone else in WWE wouldn’t be able to get away with saying that. Taker then said he’d set her coffin on fire and that her lungs would fill with the stench of her burning flesh. You mean she’d still be alive? Then she’d be sent to Hades to rejoin her husband Edge. He promised Vickie endless agony and an eternity in hell. Well, that certainly was descriptive. The lights went out and when they came back on, Taker was gone. They went right into MVP’s entrance.

2- MVP vs. SHELTON BENJAMIN

MVP was paranoid about running into Taker on his way to the ring. Shelton did a quick sound-bite on the TitanTron before coming out. Benjamin even checked behind him for Taker on his way out. It seems that WWE is turning Shelton into their own version of Goldmember.

Shelton did some taunting of MVP to start, doing a Scott Hall-like paintbrush to the back of MVP’s head. MVP then slapped Shelton and the two traded right hands on the mat. Referee Mickie Henson had to restrain Benjamin a couple times after he continued punishing MVP in the corner past the five-count. MVP started walking to the back and Shelton went to get him, but he met Shelton with a hard right hand. Montel Vontavious Porter sat on Shelton’s back and applied a chin-lock, but Shelton worked his way to his feet with MVP still on his back. Benjamin thought of going to the top but didn’t, and that allowed MVP to hit him with a big kick for two. Benjamin came back with Paydirt for a surprising three-count.

WINNER: Benjamin, at 3:48. I couldn’t believe this was so short- finish came out of nowhere.

-Maria was in makeup when Maryse came in and made fun of her outfit. She said she’d go easy on Maria because she wouldn’t want a wardrobe malfunction. She zinged Maria then headed off.

-Jeff Hardy vs. The Brian Kendrick is still to come tonight.

-Also, Triple H takes on Great Khali in a Lumberjack Match.

[Commercial Break]

3- MARYSE vs. MARIA

Maria attacked quickly to start and Maryse went to the outside to regroup. Maria went after her and Maryse clotheslined her. Cross-body by Maria that only got one. Maryse got a knee up on the corner when Maria tried a charge and then Maryse went to a back-breaker. Maryse catapulted Maria into the top rope, hitting her throat on it. She then applied a Camel Clutch. Maryse slammed Maria’s head against the mat a few times. Maria came back with a headscissors and a couple clotheslines. Maria missed a mis-timed cross-body from the second rope. Maryse capitalized with a DDT and a pin.

WINNER: Maryse, at 3:00. Pretty brutal to watch, but hopefully Michelle can get something out of Maryse this Sunday. She has improved a bit, but not enough to make a match against someone like Maria look good.

As Maryse was walking to the back, she ran into Michelle McCool. They stared each other down unti Maryse backed down and went to the locker room.

-Next, it’s Jeff Hardy vs. The Brian Kendrick.

[Commercial Break]

-Triple H takes on Great Khali in a Lumberjack Match, yet to come.

4- JEFF HARDY vs. THE BRIAN KENDRICK

Hardy got the upper-hand at the outset. Jeff missed his mule kick and Kendrick kicked Jeff in the back of the head for two. Another running heel kick for Kendrick for a two-count. After some offense by Kendrick, Jeff hit his corner dropkick. Face-plant by Jeff on a suplex where he used his right side instead of his left. Jeff alley-ooped Kendrick from a powerbomb to a face-plant. Jeff tried a Twist of Fate, but Kendrick went to the outside. Jeff then hit a cross-body onto Kendrick. Ezekiel took out Jeff on the outside, allowing Kendrick to hit The Kendrick in the ring for the win.

WINNER: Kendrick, at 4:56.

-Someone was wheeling an empty wheelchair in the parking garage. A limo then pulled up and Vickie got out. She shouted at the man for assuming she needed the wheelchair. She then ordered the cars out of the garage as she walked into the arena. Is that really under her control?

[Commercial Break]

5- RYAN BRADDOCK vs. SUPER CRAZY

Braddock didn’t get an entrance this week. Crazy with a spinning heel kick got one. Braddock rebounded with a hard clothesline to the back of the neck. Crazy caught Braddock with a superkick in the corner, then hit a moonsault for the victory.

WINNER: Crazy, at 1:21.

Vladimir Kozlov came out after the match, with a mic. He said something to Crazy, then kicked him in the chest. Kozlov said he was not competition. Kozlov said no more games, and demanded a better challenge. Big Show then came out, smiling and waving. Show had his own mic. Show proposed a challenge for right now. Kozlov put the mic down and the started circling each other. Vickie came out on the ramp and told them to stop.

She told them to get out of her ring. Vickie got on Kozlov’s face and told him, screechily, to get out of her ring. He backed down while eyeing her angrily. She told Big Show that he’s interfered with her show for the last time. She told him he hasn’t seen anything yet as far as being unfair. She said she had business to take care of in the ring and told him to get out and go home. She threatened to find and suspend him if he didn’t comply. Show then left the ring.

She asked for everyone to quiet down for an announcement. She addressed Undertaker, saying she reinstated him, and apologized to him. She reminded him she is the general manager of the show and she won’t be intimidated. She said going to hell and joining Edge will be no problem because she’s been to places in her life that would make hell look like a vacation. So, she’s been to Detroit. She said she wasn’t scared of him and that at Unforgiven, she’d get what she wants- him apologizing to her. She’s gotta have something up her sleeve to be so confident.

[Commercial Break]

6- VICTORIA vs. BRIE BELLA

This is a re-match from last week. Victoria was the aggressor, backing Brie into the corner then grabbing a hard side-headlock while doing some trash-talking. Bella turned it into a hammer-lock, then stretched Victoria’s arms. Dropkick by Bella and Victoria got kicked to ringside. Brie went off the apron and hit a clothesline. Victoria turned the tide by ramming Brie’s back into the apron. Overhead back-breaker submission by Victoria. She the Brie to the outside and Brie went under the ring again. She came out the other side to nail Victoria, then rolled her up in the ring.

WINNER: Bella, at 2:52.

-Josh Mathews, Mickie James and Mr. Kennedy wrapped up their coverage at the Republican National Convention.

-A Triple H vs. Great Khali Lumberjack match is still to come, with the lumberjacks being all the scramble participants.

[Commercial Break]

-The Raw Rebound aired, showing the contract signing between Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho, as well as clips of their confrontation from two weeks ago’s Raw. Actually, there weren’t even any clips of the contract signing. That’s odd.

-JR and Tazz ran down the Unforgiven card.

-Eve Torres talked about Triple H’s upcoming matches, and asked about his greatest concern. He noted that it was global warming or the economy in general. Good to know he’s not concerned about losing the belt at Unforgiven. He talked about obstacles and stepping in his face, and he turned around right into Jeff Hardy. HHH wondered if anyone could complete an interview on the show without being interrupted. That could go for TNA too. Jeff said he’d be HHH’s problem at Unforgiven and Trips replied that Jeff knows a lot about problems. He said three strikes, and he’s out of the Game. That was pretty heelish.

[Commercial Break]

-The lumberjacks were already surrounding the ring for the next match.

7- THE GREAT KHALI vs. TRIPLE H- LUMBERJACK MATCH

Headbutt by Khali, then a clothesline. He choked HHH with his boot and Trips ended up rolling to the outside. All the heels attacked as Jeff Hardy stood by and watched. They threw him back into the ring when the show went to break.

[Commercial Break]

-Khali had a nerve hold on Trips out of break. They had to show a replay of Khali giving HHH a legdrop (yes, a legdrop) from when the show was on commercial. HHH avoided a Khali charge, but Khali got a boot up on a Triple H charge. He clotheslined Trips over the top and once again the heels went to work on Triple H as Jeff went to HHH’s aid. MVP and Benjamin threw Hardy into the security barricade. Two-handed chokeslam by Khali only got two. Jaw-breaker on Khali. Trips hit a shoulderblock from the second turnbuckle to take Khali down. The lumberjacks pulled HHH out of the ring to continue their assault, but Jeff Hardy got in the ring and leapt over the top rope onto the heels. Kendrick tried whipping HHH into the stairs, but Trips reversed it and Kendrick’s elbow caught the edge of the stairs in a painful-looking move. Back in the ring, HHH hit a spinebuster on Khali. Khali came back and put the vice grip on HHH. Triple H got out and Pedigreed the big man. It’s academic, as Gorilla Monsoon would say.

WINNER: Triple H, at 10:00.

Jeff Hardy clapped as HHH posed with the belt, then hit the Twist of Fate on him.

Greg Parks has been covering Smackdown for PWTorch.com since February of 2007. You can also hear him every-other-week in the post-Raw audio show Monday nights in the Torch VIP audio section. Check out his new column in a PDF-exclusive version of the Torch Newsletter. Comments, questions and feedback is welcome, and can be sent to g_man9784@yahoo.com.

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