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CALDWELL'S TNA IMPACT REPORT 8/21: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of Spike TV broadcast

Aug 21, 2008 - 9:59:11 PM
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By James Caldwell, PWTorch columnist

TNA Impact on Spike TV
August 21, 2008
Taped Aug. 12 in Orlando, Florida
Report by James Caldwell, Torch columnist


The show started with a recap of last week's show, including A.J. Styles winning Kurt Angle's gold medal with some help of the guitar.

Backstage: Jeremy Borash caught up to Kurt Angle, who was just pulling up in the building. Angle said he's getting his gold medal back and he's going to get rid of the guy everyone knows is the source of the guitar.

Impact Zone: Beer Money came to the ring to open the show after Mike Tenay recapped how they won the tag titles from LAX at the last PPV. Hernandez then came out seeking revenge for what they did to Homicide at the PPV.

1 -- HERNANDEZ (w/Salinas and Hector Guerrero) vs. ROBERT ROODE (w/James Storm and Jacqueline)

Hernandez stormed the ring and the match started on the floor with Hernandez looking for a fight. He then teased a dive from the ring to the floor, but Beer Money regrouped. Jackie then ran interference to allow Roode to gain control in the ring. When Hernandez re-gained control and wanted the Border Toss, the women became involved in a giant cat fight. Storm then hopped on the apron to run distraction, but Hernandez out-smarted them and gave Roode a torture rack fall-away slam for the pin and the win.

WINNER: Hernandez in 6:00. The usual over-booked TV match with tons of interference and a predictable miscommunication between the heel tandem. Hernandez continues to get his revenge, which is completely fine to begin his singles heavyweight push. (*)

[Commercial Break]

[Q2]

Backstage: Borash brought in A.J. Styles, who was still sporting Angle's gold medal around his neck. Styles said there is no mystery to the guitar and when the soap opera unfolds, it's not going to be pretty for Angle. Styles said he'll give Angle the opportunity to re-gain the gold medal in his own match with a ladder. Suddenly, Angle came storming in with security trying to restrain Angle.

Impact Zone: Eric Young and B.G. James came to the ring together for a tag match. B.G. had to pretend like he's scared of the pyro. And then again. This is what B.G. has been reduced to. Machineguns came out as the opposition.

2 -- ERIC YOUNG & B.G. JAMES vs. MOTOR CITY MACHINEGUNS (ALEX SHELLEY & CHRIS SABIN)

A heel turn in the works for the Guns, with Shelley having a harder edge to his attitude. The deal broke down into a Texas Tornado video game-style battle with Sabin missing a splash on B.G. on the floor. Back in the ring, Young gave Sabin a neckbreaker for the pin and the win. After the match, each side was prepared for a friendly handshake, but B.G. got under Sabin's skin by rubbing his hair as if he was a little boy. Sabin then spit in his hand and slapped B.G. across the face. This led to a brawl in the ring with B.G. clearing the Guns to the floor until security intervened.

WINNERS: Young & James in 4:00. Forgettable TV match featuring a bunch of fast-paced spots without any set-up or build-up. Guns could use a heel turn to regain some edge after losing matches to wrestlers teaming up for the first time. I doubt it will lead to them being taken more seriously, unfortunately, but rather turned into a 2008 version of Spirit Squad. (1/2*)

Backstage: Borash and Angle were at Booker T's locker room door when Borash gave Booker a speech about proper decorum in Booker's locker room. Angle missed the recommendation about taking his shoes off, then Angle sat down in a chair opposite Booker and Sharmell to propose a joint sting operation to find out about the guitar. Booker has apparently changed his accent to the leader of an African country. Booker wasn't interested in the guitar, but proposed a toast for his match against Rhino tonight. Angle refused, though, saying he doesn't drink. Ah haha. Good one. Angle then left.

[Commercial Break]

[Q3]

Video package: They focused on the history between Jay Lethal and Sonjay Dutt with So Cal Val stuck in the middle of the triangle of distrust and deceit.

Karen's Angle: Karen sat down with So Cal Val from earlier today to discuss the Lethal-Dutt feud. Val quickly became hysterical saying she doesn't know what to do or think because she feels very lost. Karen brought up the ultimatum for Val to take either Lethal or Dutt, then Dutt stormed the set and told Val that he's in love with her. Dutt said he would never put Val in a position to make a decision. He wanted Val to say what she needs from him. Dutt went in for a kiss, but Lethal charged Dutt out of nowhere and smashed him across the plush couch. Can there ever be a straightforward Karen's Angle segment? Lethal got out of control and accidentally smashed Val, knocking her out. Everyone went frantic. ... Tenay said Val has sustained a concussion and facial bruising.

Rough Cut: Consequences Creed said he got into wrestling because it's...awesome. Well, that's always good. Creed said he watched Kurt Angle amateur wrestling in 1996 and became a huge fan. They talked about Creed's background in amateur wrestling. Totally fine.

[Commercial Break]

Impact Zone: Matt Morgan came to the ring ready to squash Frankie Capone and welcome him to the mile high club.

3 -- MATT MORGAN vs. FRANKIE CAPONE

All we need is the FOX Box and a giant green light and we're back on FOX Sports Net for a signature squash match. Morgan shook off Capone's early attempt to attack him, and landed a big splash in the corner. Morgan landed a bicycle kick, then hit the Hell-evator swinging suplex for the win.

WINNER: Morgan in 2:00. Quick and almost-painless to sit through. (n/a)

Post-match: Brother Ray walked out to the ring to address Morgan. He asked him how it feels to beat up someone with no future in the business. Morgan danced around in the ring, then Ray suggested Morgan fight him right now. Of course, Brother Devon blind-sided Morgan to set up a two-on-one beating until Abyss made the save. Ray bailed, then Devon found his exit just in time. Tenay said Morgan and Abyss could be one of the most-devastating tandems in TNA.

Backstage: They showed Gail Kim taping her wrists in anticipation of signing a WWE contr...er... warming up prior to her street fight against Kong.

[Q4]

[Commercial Break]

Tenay interview: From earlier today, Tenay sat down with Kevin Nash to talk. Nash said he was instrumental in getting Samoa Joe to TNA and they've become friends now. Tenay brought up last week when Joe's temper cost them a tag match, and asked if Nash has succeeded in getting into Joe's head about mental being as important as physical. Nash said it's three steps forward and two steps back. He said it's no secret that his temper is his Achilles heel. (TNA is still booking off Joe's PPV promo on Scott Hall when Hall no-showed from like a year ago.) Nash talked about Sting and their relationship going back 20 years when it was all men in the locker room and not a bunch of boys. He channeled Triple H saying the kids just don't respect the vets or the business anymore. Tenay reminisced about the days of respect, then Nash said he thinks it has irked Sting to the point of doing something about the younger wrestlers.

Backstage earlier today: More of the no-respect card when Lauren tried to interview Angelina Love and Velvet Sky about Angelina having a Knockouts Title match against Taylor Wilde at the PPV. Kip James suddenly interrupted and blew some kisses to the Beautiful People. Apparently he's channeling his Billy & Chuck gimmick, as they barged into the women's locker room to attack Taylor and paint something on her face. Why is Kip on my TV screen?

And more backstage: Borash brought in Rhino to scream and yell about facing Booker tonight in a qualifying deal for the TNA Title match at the PPV. Rhino said "the boys" are starting to choose sides. The little kids in the locker room Nash referenced or the main roster of wrestlers? This is so confusing. Rhino said he's going through Booker, then moving on to challenge for the TNA Title at the PPV.

[Commercial Break]

Impact Zone: Booker T and Sharmell came to the ring, followed by Rhino for the No Surrender PPV Title match qualifier.

[Q5 -- second hour]

4 -- BOOKER T (w/Sharmell) vs. RHINO -- No Surrender TNA Title qualifying match

After Sharmell became involved ringside, Christian Cage slowly came to ringside and tapped her on the shoulder. Sharmell tried to slap Christian, but Christian easily brushed her off and dragged her backstage. Booker freaked out as they cut to break.

[Commercial Break]

During the break, Booker avoided the Gore and came back with a scissors kick to the head to set up his attack. Booker wanted the axe kick, but Rhino ducked and nailed a series of right hand blows. Rhino then went up top and comically missed a falling-down headbutt. Booker then finished him off with the axe kick for the pin and the win.

WINNER: Booker in 11:00. Booker and Joe in yet another PPV main event title match. Match was fine, but Rhino looked pretty ridiculous attempting a top rope move. (*)

Backstage: Lauren brought in Gail Kim for an interview on Awesome Kong. Lauren asked if a street fight against Kong is really a good idea considering Kong's history of destroying her. Gail said that's a dumb question, then rhetorically and sarcastically asked if she should just back up her bags and leave? Well, I suppose we can take that as a literal response. She said she's given off this impression that she's an innocent good girl, but she's anything but that. Gail said we'll see a different side of her that's never been seen before.

[Commercial Break]

Video package: They showed clips from Hard Justice when Daivari cost Consequences Creed the X Division Title opportunity against Petey Williams. And now a re-match.

[Q6]

5 -- X Division champion PETEY WILLIAMS (w/Rhaka Khan) vs. CONSEQUENCES CREED -- X Division Title match

The basic story is that Creed is going to be so focused on avoiding the Canadian Destroyer that he might miss another move from Petey that could lead to victory. Petey distracted the ref feigning an injury early on, then Khan tried to kick Creed on the floor, but she smashed her foot into the guardrail. Daivari came out on stage at 3:00 to get a closer look at the action as Petey set up for the Canadian Destroyer, but Creed blocked. Petey came back with a spinning neckbreaker for a nearfall, but Creed delivered a press slam into gutbuster. Daivari then slipped into the ring and Creed knocked him to the floor before knocking Petey to the floor. Creed followed with a flip dive onto both Daivari and Petey, then back in the ring, Creed wanted to end it. Alas, Daivari jumped into the ring and smashed Creed to cause a DQ. Daivari pushed the ref aside and tried to attack Creed, but Petey became upset with Daivari for interrupting his match.

WINNER: Creed via DQ in 6:00; Petey retains X Division Title. Predictable finish to continue Daivari's anti-American campaign. (*)

Backstage: Borash was with Christy Hemme, Hoyt, and Rave for a promo, but Super Eric led the cartoon guys in complaining about the noise. Curry Man did his Japanese accent promo on Hoyt, then Shark Boy threatened to stomp fishing holes in them. Super Eric led the cartoon guys away, but Hoyt and Rave attacked them with fake Guitar Hero guitars. Looked like something a bunch of kids would put on youtube. Just minor league stuff here. They cut to break.

[Commercial Break]

[Q7]

6 -- AWESOME KONG (w/Raisha Saeed) vs. GAIL KIM -- No DQ Knockouts Brawl

Kong tried to charge Gail to start things off, but Gail pulled down the top rope and Kong went flying to the floor. They brawled, but Kong took control by whipping Gail into the ringpost. Kong took Gail up the grandstand stairs to the second level of the Impact Zone where Kong used an umbrella to knock around Gail. Gail then fell down the stairs to the ringside area, and Kong took her back over the guardrail to the ringside area. Gail's sister continued to look concerned as Kong picked apart Gail. Raisha tried to get involved, but Gail whipped her into the guardrail. Gail then ducked a clothesline and Kong smashed her arm into the ringpost. Back in the ring, Gail cornered Raisha and smashed her with multiple kendo stick shots. Kong tried to introduce a steel chair, but Gail kicked it into her face for a nearfall. Gail tried to follow with a burst of right hand blows, but Kong nailed the implant buster in center ring for the pin and the win.

WINNER: Kong in 7:00. Match was the best action on the show by far. As Wade Keller wrote about Gail leaving for WWE, I'm hoping TNA gave her a substantial offer on the level of a second tier male wrestler. Gail was once again involved in one of the top segments of the show and has been a ratings winner for months. She was more valuable than the majority of the male wrestlers on the roster. (**1/4)

Post-match: Referees tried to subdue Kong so she wouldn't inflict further damage on Gail, then Gail's sister slipped into the ring to protect Gail. Kong spun back around and eyed some fresh meat before slowly walking over to her. Kong slowly approached her before setting her up for an Awesome Bomb. Suddenly, ODB and Roxxi stormed the ring and made the save. Kong then reluctantly let her go before leaving the ring with a smile on her face.

Backstage: They showed Kurt Angle walking with a ladder in anticipation of the main event.

[Commercial Break]

[Q8]

Impact Zone: Kurt Angle came to the ring with a ladder, then Booker T reluctantly walked out behind Angle. Angle quickly set up the ladder in center ring and wasted no time waiting for Styles so he could start climbing the ladder. Styles then stormed the ringside area and fought Booker. Meanwhile, some tourist stormed the ringside area and attacked Booker from behind. Announcers called him Samoa Joe. This man and Booker then brawled away from ringside, leaving Styles and Angle to officially start their match.

7 -- KURT ANGLE vs. A.J. STYLES -- Olympic gold medal ladder match

Styles nailed a textbook dropkick that sent Angle to the floor, then Styles hit a splash on the floor that left both men clutching their forearms in pain. Booker was shown muttering to himself ringside, then Sharmell stormed down the ringside area sporting a fashionable robe and yelling at Booker. Oh, too much happening. Go to break.

[Commercial Break]

They returned from break with the ladder in center ring while Sharmell shouted encouragement to Angle, who tried to choke out Styles with a sleeper. Meanwhile, Samoa Joe shouted strategy to Styles on breaking the hold. Angle attempted the Olympic Slam, but Styles countered into a DDT. Both men recovered on the mat, then Styles and Angle went into a series of ladder spot battles. During this, Angle came up bleeding from his forehead where that laceration was from a few weeks ago. Booker and Joe then started battling on the floor until Sharmell distracted Joe to allow Booker to smash Joe with a black bat. Styles and Angle had a climatic battle on the ladder, but the lights went down and Jeff Jarrett's music hit. The lights came back on and Styles used a guitar to smash Angle over the head. Styles then reached up and grabbed the gold medal to win the match.

WINNER: Styles in 13:00. So, this seems to be setting up for Jarrett to side with the younger stars of Joe and Styles to potentially feud against the Just For Men gray hair club of Nash & Sting, who are trying to teach the young stars respect and the ways of the business. Or something like that. (**)

We welcome your 1-10 score and comments on this show for an "Impact Reax" feature in the Torch Feedback section of PWTorch.com. To contribute your thoughts on Impact, click here.


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