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KELLER'S ECW REPORT
AUGUST 5, 2008
LIVE FROM ATLANTA, GA.
AIRED ON SCI-FI

[Q1]

-Todd Grisham introduced the show, saying there have been many changes around WWE lately, and tonight was no different with Matt Striker filling in for Tazz. Striker said he may not fill as much of the screen as Tazz, but he is camera friendly and is "a wrestling nerd" and will fit right in. Grisham hyped that they are less than two weeks away from SummerSlam.

1 -- CHAVO GUERRERO & BAM NEELY vs. RICKY ORTIZ & EVAN BOURNE

As Chavo and Neely walked to the ring, a clip aired of Chavo vs. Ricky Ortiz last week ending when Neely caused Chavo to be DQ'd, then Evan Bourne saving Chavo and Ortiz from a post-match attack. As Bourne came out, the camera showd the crowd which featured about three people really, really excited and about a hundred completely indifferent. Striker said Ortiz may be charismatic, but he's in bad need of a haircut. Striker noted that Neely is from Robbinsdale, Minn., and he said that town has something in the water since it has produced Rick Rude, The Road Warriors, Brad Rheingans, Curt Hennig, "the list (of dead wrestlers) goes on and on." Yeah, there's something in the water, all right. I'm impressed Striker rattled off that many names of Robinsdale (and surrounding community) wrestlers. Striker also accurately called an early Fujiwara armbar by Bourne. Striker threw about "a final fact from your teacher." He said Ortiz is the only WWE wrestler to have played in the XFL. Ortiz hot-tagged Bourne at 4:00. He hit a diving double knee tackle on Neely for a two count. Grisham, refreshingly, asked, "Has Bourne won the match for his team" rather than "He's got him! It's over!"Borne surprised Neely with a roll-up and he turned it into a back arching bridge for added leverage to score the pin. Really cool spot.

WINNERS: Bourne & Ortiz in 5:00.

STAR RATING: *1/4 -- Bourne going to get over and stick around. He really stands out and has the right look for someone his size. Definite thumbs up to Striker on color. He even managed a Genichiru Tenyru reference!

[Commercial Break]

[Q2]

-Mike Knox stood mid-ring and said he doesn't owe it to any of the fans to explain to them why he did what he did last week. He sounds more and more like Bruiser Brody the more I hear him. He said he had a video, though, that would further prove the fraud that is Finlay. He showed a clip of Finlay and Hornswoggle dancing. He said Finlay used to travel the world beating up people and now he spends his time dancing with a leprechaun. He said that makes him laugh when he claims he's the toughest man out there. Finlay's music interrupted. Finlay and Hornswoggle walked out onto the stage. Finlay danced briefly with Hornswoggle. Grisham explained who was whom to Striker. Finlay said that clip he showed was funny. He said those things he's heard about him being tough is just the tip of the iceberg. Finlay pretended not to know Knox's name. He said he likes to have fun and he loves his family, and if he has a problem with he and his son, well then take a shot at him right then and there. He turned his back so he could jump him from behind again. He took off his jacket and told him to take his shot. "You better knock me out because if you don't, you're going to find out whether I've gone soft or not. Knox huffed and puffed, then backed up to a chorus of boos. Cliche Alert: Striker said, "It looks like discretion the better part of valor for Mike Knox.

-The Raw Rebound aired focused on the tag team main event.

[Commercial Break]

2 -- TOMMY DREAMER vs. ARMANDO ESTRADA

Grisham talked about Estrada's path down from being a G.M. in charge of ECW to now fighting for his very existence as a competitor in the ring. A minute into the match Dreamer let out a barbaric yell after a snapshot over the top rope. He then hung Armando upside down in the corner and postured some more. Colin Delaey ran to ringside, distracting Dreamer into jumping to ringside. Delaney grabbed a chair, but Dreamer yanked it away. A shocked Delaney leaped over the announce table between Grisham and Striker. That got some laughs. When Delaney returned to the ring apron, Dreamer turned and rammed him into the ringpost. Estrada rolled up Dreamer for the win and to keep his job. Striker called the Delaney-Dreamer break-up "Zbyszko-Sammartino-esque." Not many Sammartino references in WWE the past couple decades. Good for Striker for slipping that in.

WINNER: Estrada in 3:00.

-Grisham plugged "The Dirt Sheet" would be on TV for the time ever after this break.

[Q3]

[Commercial Break]

-A commercial aired for Batista's appearance at SummerSlam. but the commercial was produced like an add for a movie or new TV series with fight scenes and stock bad guy characters on a shipping dock with sports cars and a hot woman - all the cliches of that genre. Kinda fun and different, but it might be a step too far from literal and confuse people.

-Did You Know? WWE offers all U.S. military personnel free tickets to it's live events.

-In case you forgot... A replay aired of the Delaney-Dreamer interaction in the previous segment.

-They went backstage to Estrada celebrating. Delaney walked up to him and congratulated him. Estrada asked Delaney why he wanted to help him after all of the hoops he made him jump through to get his contract. Delaney said at least he gave him an opportunity. Teddy Long walked in and said Dreamer is going to give him an opportunity for the beating of his life in an extreme rules match.

-They showed Grisham and Striker at ringside. They threw to the Smackdown Rebound focused on Edge beating up Mick Foley. Grisham and Striker then ran down the entire announced Summerslam line-up.

-They showed Branden Walker, the former Chris Harris, heading toward the entrance tunnel.

[Commercial Break]

[Q4]

-The WWE 24/7 Flashback aired featuring "Stone Cold" Steve Austin attacking Sarge. There was a fan sign that read: "Gracie choked Shamrock" and another that read "Vader Bomb Canada." Old fan signs are fun to pick out of old scenes.

3 -- BRANDEN WALKER vs. JAMES CURTIS

Striker said Curtis was trained by Savio Vega and is looking for his first WWE victory. He said he is also a licensed boating captain. Grisham said Walker is part of Teddy Long's new talent initiative. Grisham asked what it was like for Striker to be a new kid on the block at one point. Striker said it's not just learning to handle what happens inside the ring, but also what goes on in the locker room. Striker said Walker is a very quiet young man as he tried to talk to him earlier in the day. Striker noted that Walker is left handed and it's tough to adjust to that in the ring. He observed his left handed clotheslines. I was high on Walker five years ago in his early TNA days. He went through some ups and downs during his stay there and he moved to WWE at a time when I didn't think they'd be interested in him. I'm still a bit shocked he's here winning squash matches in circumstances where he has zero gimmick or character development and none of the usual flashy traits that give someone such a spot. Being 6-4 is about all he has going for him on the surface, plus a track record with some highpoints in the ring during his TNA days, but that doesn't always count for a lot. There's definitely potential there, but it seems premature to putting him on TV without something more concrete for him to portray - unless that's the gimmick that's being set up gradually, that he's plain and there's more going on there than meets the eye. Walker won with an anti-climatic fisherman's suplex.

WINNER: Walker in 2:00.

[Commercial Break]

-Miz and John Morrison sat mid-ring for the TV debut of "The Dirt Sheet." Morrison introduced himself and said People magazine offered him $15 million for baby pictures of himself, but he turned them down because he is not for sale. They interviewed Mark Henry on the big screen, but it was actually a freeze-frame of him with a fake mouth, a la Conan O'Brien. He spoke nonsense and then mumbled about liking to eat to get strong. Morrison said eating makes him fat. He said he has a gland problem because he sweats a lot, but doesn't move much. They did the same with Tony Atlas. Then they asked Lena Yada if she found Henry and Atlas sexy. She said they're gross, but Miz and Morrison are sexy. Morrison displayed his abs. He said if he had abs like that, he wouldn't need a belt extender to fit that ECW Title around his waist. The real Henry and Atlas walked out to their music.

Atlas said when he and Henry agreed to be on "The Dirt Sheet," it wasn't to be ridiculed and mocked. Miz and Morrison said they didn't intend to disrespect them. They said if they were going to disrespect anyone, it'd be Henry's SummerSlam challenger, Matt Hardy. Hardy appeared on the big screen. Matt said, "I've never been number one at anything, not even in my own family. Wahh!" Striker asked why he was talking like Forrest Gump. The real Hardy then came out onto the stage wearing a nice white shirt and jeans instead of his typical black t-shirt with his logo. He entered the ring and mockingly applauded Miz and Morrison's insults. The crowd chanted "Hardy, Hardy." Hardy said, "It's good to see they are huge Conan O'Brien fans. That was really original content. It must've taken you eternity to come up with that stuff." He said he wants to join the party and have some good laughs with them. Hardy told Miz and Morrison that he loved them in "Brokeback Mountain." Pot. Kettle. Kettle. Pot. (As if Brokeback humor is any more original than what Miz and Morrison had just done.) Hardy said there are winners and there are losers. He told them to be jealous. Miz and Morrison said that's their line. Hardy turned to Henry and said after SummerSlam he'll no longer be no. 1 contender, he'll be ECW Champion.

Miz interrupted and said there are consequences for coming on their show and disrespecting them. Hardy punched Miz. Morrison yanked Hardy off. Morrison swung at Hardy, but Hardy moved and Morrison hit Henry instead. Henry retaliated against Morrison as Hardy disposed of Miz. Striker said common enemies lead to strange alliances, but Hardy and Henry are anything but friends. Grisham said in two weeks those two face off in one of the biggest matches in ECW history.

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