TV REPORTS CALDWELL'S TNA IMPACT REPORT 7/17: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of Spike TV show
Jul 17, 2008 - 10:00:11 PM
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By James Caldwell, PWTorch columnist
TNA Impact on Spike TV
July 17, 2008
Taped July 15 in Orlando, Florida
Report by James Caldwell, Torch columnist
The show started with a video package on Victory Road, with the main event footage presented as if Sting turned on Samoa Joe without any provocation. Not only was it a botched finish, but now they're twisting the botched finish. In any event, tonight's title is "Why, Sting, Why?" Well, for starters, Joe flipping him off and telling him to f-off would be two reasons.
Backstage: They showed Booker and Sharmell pulling up in the Cadillac Escalade with possession of the TNA Title. Mike Tenay sad they will address the controversy surrounding the TNA Title tonight.
Impact Zone: Booker T and Sharmell came out to the ring. Booker was sporting a giant fur coat with the TNA Title belt over his shoulder. Tenay and West debated why Sting was involved in the main event picture, then Booker addressed the title situation. Booker said he proved one thing very clearly that Samoa Joe couldn't beat him. He said Sharmell counted the three-count for him, so now he is the new TNA champion.
Jim Cornette quickly interrupted and said Booker will hand over the World Title so that he can deliver it back to the real World Hvt. champion, Samoa Joe. Cornette then booked a re-match at Hard Justice. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Samoa Joe suddenly interrupted and he came to the ring dressed in a very sharp suit. Booker asked why he has to come out here crying. He said Joe knows he can't beat him, so he'll just hand over the belt before he wins it next month.
Joe waited for Booker to stop, then he told Booker to shut his mouth. Joe said he'll let Booker keep his belt under two conditions. He said one condition is that Booker will be a target for him at every moment until they meet in the ring. He said the other condition is that he's winning at Hard Justice and he'll take a piece of ass while he's at it. Booker said he's already way in Joe's head and Joe knows he can't beat him. He said Joe can't beat him on his best day. Joe snapped back that Booker doesn't have what it takes to get to his level after he punked out Booker in front of his wife and hometown. Joe told Booker to shine up the title belt for him at the PPV. Joe with a very strong promo here, while Booker played a great heel. The right tone with the follow-up after a horrible PPV ending.
Backstage: Lauren was with Beer Money for an interview. Lauren laughed about Roode and Storm taking their whooping at the PPV. Roode said it's not funny he has to read the financial section in the paper standing up because he can't sit down. He said they're going to take the whooping to the streets and give the fans a taste of what they felt at the PPV.
[Q2]
[Commercial Break]
Backstage: Kaz spoke with Jeremy Borash about failing on Sunday. He said he let down every past and present X Division wrestler by losing the World X Cup. Kaz said he sees a light at the end of the tunnel, but he's not sure if it's freedom or a freight training coming at him.
1 -- X Division champion PETEY WILLIAMS (w/Steiner's freak) vs. KAZ -- X Division Title match
Petey teased the Canadian Destroyer at 2:00, then Kaz blocked and tried the Wave of the Future, but Petey blocked. Petey tried a springboard move from the apron, but Kaz caught him in mid-air with an Ace Crusher for a nearfall. Kaz then spiked Petey's neck into the mat, but freak distracted the ref when Kaz had the pin. Kaz chased freak around the ring and back into the ring. Kaz still nailed the Wave of the Future on Petey for the apparent pin, but Petey kicked out just in time. Announcers talked about Kaz continuing to be frustrated by everything happening in his life heretofore. Suddenly, Petey rolled through on a bridge pin into a bridge pin of his own with a hook of the tights for the pin and the win.
WINNER: Petey in 5:00. Fine match, but the sudden cut-backstage-immediately-after-the -match left the finish flat with Kaz's plight suddenly an afterthought. (*1/4)
Backstage: They suddenly cut backstage where Borash awaited Petey for commentary. Before that, Eric Young interrupted and said he had a big scoop on the first meeting of the Prince Justice Brotherhood. Young played dumb that he couldn't comprehend the camera and mic being on while trying to tell Borash a secret.
[Commercial Break]
[Q3]
Backstage: Borash sat down with Samoa Joe in Cornette's office to mutter out some questions about Sting's involvement at Sunday. Kevin Nash then walked in and said he never doubted Joe. He said he wanted to keep Joe motivated the weeks leading to the PPV. Nash said Joe is the best in the game and he won the fight on Sunday without the one, two, three. Joe said the game is about pinning the opponent and scoring a one, two, three. He said he threw everything he had at Booker, but it wasn't enough. Nash asked Joe if he's really going to sit here and doubt himself because that's playing into Booker's game plan. Joe said he might have won the fight, but he knows who walked out of the PPV with the belt. Nash said that when a man no longer believes in himself, he has nothing left. Nash patted Joe on the knee, then left Cornette's office.
Announcers: Tenay and West talked turkey, then they suddenly cut to the production truck where Roode and Storm were whipping so-called members of the production staff.
[Commercial Break]
Backstage: Another shot of Borash back in the parking lot. Suddenly, Team 3D and Kurt Angle emerged from a stretch limo wearing Sting masks. NWO C-team? Borash spotted a meeting off to the side. He spotted Super Eric, Curry Man, and Shark Boy having a meeting. Young said they are here to discuss the filth that is pervading TNA and how to get rid of it. Suddenly, Beer Money jumped them and beat them down.
Impact Zone: Christy Hemme and Jimmy Rave were in the ring for a match. No sign of Hoyt. Matt Morgan then came out as the opponent. He's going by his OVW name of The Blueprint.
2 -- MATT MORGAN vs. JIMMY RAVE (w/Christy Hemme)
Christy took off running a few seconds into the match. Morgan with a swinging pancake slam for the win. Christy then led Lance Hoyt to the ringside area. Hoyt said he's the toughest SOB and if Morgan wants a gig, he has it.
WINNER: Morgan in 1:00. Squash. (n/a)
2b -- MATT MORGAN vs. LANCE HOYT (w/Christy Hemme)
Apparently Hoyt is now Lance Rock. Ridiculous. Morgan with an overhead slam on Rock before hoisting him up on his shoulders. Hemme distracted the ref, though, allowing Rock to take control. Morgan quickly came back and nailed the swinging pancake slam for the win.
WINNER: Morgan in 2:00. Squash II. Nothing much here. (n/a)
Backstage: Cornette was in the middle of his office trying to restore order with the knockouts. He said he needs one spokeswoman for something. Gail volunteered, which set off Angelina and Velvet. ODB stuck her cans in their faces to intimidate them. Traci Brooks restored order, then Cornette said all of the knockouts want a piece of Taylor because she's the new champ and they feel she hasn't paid her dues. Cornette booked a ten-woman gauntlet match with the winner getting a title match next week. All of the knockouts left, well, except for Traci. She repeated some offer she made to Cornette, who said he would consider it again.
[Commercial Break]
[Q4]
Video package: They aired a video package on some new show featuring Karen Angle. Well, more like a Sallie Jesse Rafael sit-down talk show segment on Impact starting next week.
Outside: Beer Money jumped security as they were standing outside next to fans waiting to get into the building. Lauren screamed bloody murder as she documented the beating. ... Tenay and West were agitated ringside and talked about them going too far by going after the fans.
Impact Zone: The NWO C-Team came to the ring sporting the Sting outfits. So, it's Bubba Ray playing Scott Norton, Brother Devon playing Vincent, and Kurt Angle playing Buff Bagwell. They cut to break with Tenay asking what their deal is with Sting.
[Commercial Break]
Impact Zone: Angle began a promo about their victory in the six-man tag at the PPV. Angle said they want to officially welcome Sting to their group. He said Sting finally showed his true colors at Victory Road by shattering all the hopes and dreams of all the little Stingers around the world. And now people want to know why. Angle said Sting is tired of dealing with the fans and young punks in the business who don't respect him. He said he just talked to Sting last night, so he knows this is Sting's mentality.
Suddenly, A.J. Styles's music interrupted and he led out Christian Cage and Rhino, who had his hands in his pockets like usual. Styles said only Sting knows why he did what he did to Joe. He said he trusts Sting's decision-making. Styles then addressed the NWO C-team, but Brother Ray interrupted him. He said Styles is a child in a grown-man's business, Rhino has no brains, and Christian's ego is bigger than Awesome Kong's toilet seat. How would he know? Ray confirmed a re-match for Hard Justice in a six-man tables match.
Christian then answered by saying he's a little embarrassed about Ray putting him through a glass table, but it's given him time to reflect and do some thinking. He said he's thinking Ray doesn't have the authority to give any kind of orders. Ray had enough and threw himself over the top rope to tease confronting Christian, who then booked the PPV re-match on free TV next week. He said he wants a five-table elimination match. Christian said Ray can think about this for the next week: "Rhino...get the tables." Rhino smiled while NWO C-team foamed at the mouth in the ring.
Video package: They focused on the history of the Knockouts division.
[Q5 -- second hour]
3 -- KNOCKOUTS GAUNTLET MATCH -- #1 Contender's match
This started off with Gail and Jacqueline, then Angelina Love joined the fracas. One-minute intervals for more knockouts joining the action. Salinas was out fourth. They alternated babyfaces and heels, with Velvet coming out fifth and Roxxi sixth. Apparently it's a War Games-style gauntlet match. Salinas kinda stumbled over the top rope for the first exit. Steiner's Freak came out seventh and circled the ring before starting to grab some folks. Traci (no Brooks) was out eighth. Awkward TV ensued between SF and Traci. Christy Hemme then came out ninth, and ODB rounded out the field. Cut to a break.
[Commercial Break]
[Q6]
Freak, Christy, and Traci were eliminated during the break. So much for Traci's deal with Cornette. ODB was out next. Suddenly, Roxxi was out. Roxxi then yanked Jacqueline to the floor despite already being eliminated. Reverse battle royale anyone? So it's Gail, Angelina, and Velvet. Shocking stuff here. Gail and Angelina struggled against the ropes, then Gail eliminated Angelina. With it now one-on-one, Velvet shocked Gail with a roll-up to win the match and earn the title shot. Gail and Angelina were equally shocked at Velvet's win.
WINNER: Velvet Sky in 18:00. Not a good battle royale, but the finish was interesting to give someone new a chance at the title. It also sets up tension between Angelina and Velvet, while Gail continues to play the Kaz role of coming up just short lately. (1/2*)
Backstage: Borash was with Booker and Sharmell in his locker room. Borash said rumor has it that Booker gets to pick his opponent tonight. Booker perused the TNA magazine and stopped on Consequences Creed. He said it's like that Rocky movie where the champion gives an unknown challenger an opportunity at the title. Booker then quickly dialed 911 and told them to bring an ambulance to the Impact Zone. Like they would know what he was talking about. In any event, Booker hung up and said it will be a stretcher match.
[Commercial Break]
Backstage: Borash was with Jay Lethal and So Cal Val to discuss the bad happenings with Sonjay Dutt. Lethal said things end when he says they end. They were one big happy family until Sonjay Dutt stepped out of line. Val asked Lethal what Dutt should do if he has feelings for Val. Lethal said he wants Dutt to take the fork in the road and get off the road. Val said Lethal is being too hard on him. She stormed off, leaving Lethal stunned.
Impact Zone: Johnny Devine came to the ring sporting his silly hat for a night at the club while setting up the camera to film a match. Eric Young then came out as an opponent for Devine. Not sure what's happening. Sonjay Dutt came out as the third opponent for an apparent three-way match.
4 -- JOHNNY DEVINE vs. ERIC YOUNG vs. SONJAY DUTT
Don West totally ripped on women by ripping on Val for saying Dutt has feelings. A little bitter? West said he's been married for 17 years. Tenay said it sounds like personal problems. Well, it's obvious what the new acronym for this company should be. WHW - women-hating wrestling. Match started with Devine and Young having an awkward exchange before Dutt tried to get involved. Dutt was knocked out to the floor, but then he snuck into the ring and landed a chopblock on Young for the win.
WINNER: Dutt in 2:00. Nothing to see here. (1/2*)
[Q7]
Post-match: Jay Lethal charged the ring to beat up Dutt, but Devine made it a two-on-one affair against Lethal. Lethal made a comeback, then Val stormed the ring and told Lethal to stop attacking Dutt. Lethal accepted a steel chair from a fan to use on Dutt, but Val took the chair away from Val. Lethal told Val to leave, as West said Val was being completely irrational here. Yes, she's irrational for trying to prevent an escalating situation. Val left, then Dutt grabbed the chair and smashed the ringpost. He tossed the chair to Lethal, then dropped to the floor screaming in pain. Val turned around and spotted Lethal holding the smoking gun, which prompted her to scream at Lethal for taking out Dutt. Dutt smiled off camera while Lethal took a tongue-lashing from Val.
Backstage: Roode and Storm were shown walking around vowing to go after the female fans. Storm said the hell with the female fans and Spike.
[Commercial Break. Gotta love a Gas-X commercial.]
Impact Zone: Beer Money came to the ring and Roode said the people screwed with them at Victory Road. He said it's funny and now they're going to take out the fans. They surveyed the audience before settling on the LAX plant to beat him in the ring. They whipped him in the ring before Scott D'Amore and Simon Diamond came to the ring representing TNA officials. D'Amore took a whooping with his pants dropping nearly to his ankles. D'Amore showed ass, then he scampered away. Beer Money then went to the Spanish announce table. Hector Guerrero threw down his glasses and headset before challenging them to a fight. He ended up in the ring to take a whopping while cuffed to the ringpost. Finally, LAX showed up to make the save. What were they doing for five minutes? Barely any TV time for the tag champs before they cut backstage.
Backstage: Borash was in the NWO C-team locker room with Tomko joining the discussion. Angle talked about the six-man tag match next week featuring the elimination tables match. Angle said they're not coming alone next week. Angle, Ray, and Devon put the fake Sting masks on and started whooing. Angle gave Tomko an assignment to crash Karen Angle's new segment next week. Tomko said that's fine, then he basically called them all marks because he has a Sting mask just like that at home. He rolled his eyes and walked off while still mumbling about something on the way out.
[Commercial Break]
[Q8]
Backstage: Consequences Creed was jumping around like a mad man ready for his opportunity to face Booker. Lauren brought him in for an interview about facing the five-time WCW champion. Creed said Booker will never forget his name after tonight.
5 -- BOOKER T (w/Sharmell) vs. CONSEQUENCES CREED -- Stretcher match
Booker toyed with Creed early, then Creed knocked Booker to the floor. Booker was not pleased with this embarrassment as they cut to break.
[Commercial Break]
Creed was slightly in control out of the break, but Booker knocked his head off with a spin kick. Tenay was handed a memo that for next week, Sabin & Shelley have challenged Beer Money for a strap match. Also, Karen's Angle debuts, the six-man elimination match, and Taylor vs. Velvet for the Knockouts Title. Booker knocked out Creed and put him on the outside. EMTs then strapped Creed to the stretcher and they took him across the yellow line for the decisive win.
Post-match: They were about to put Creed into the ambulance, but Joe emerged from the ambulance and KO'ed Booker. Joe put Booker inside the ambulance and told the vehicle to speed off. Sharmell tried to smash Joe with a baseball bat, but Joe ripped it away from her and asked where she got it. Announcers speculated Sting was involved. Joe tossed the belt down to end the show.
WINNER: Booker in 8:00. Not a memorable match. Creed hadn't been on TV for seemingly months, so tossing him into the sudden underdog role just fell flat without weeks of build-up to the moment. Fine ending to the show with Joe having the one-up, but they really overplayed the Sting mystery card on this episode. (*)
We welcome your 1-10 score and comments on this show for an "Impact Reax" feature in the Torch Feedback section of PWTorch.com. To contribute your thoughts on Impact, click here.
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