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KELLER'S TNA IMPACT REPORT
JULY 10, 2008
AIRED ON SPIKE TV
WHAT HAPPENED: HOUR ONE
[Q1]
-A video at the start of the show hyped the LAX vs. James Storm & Robert Roode feud. The show is titled "Victory Road Drive-By." Amazingly, no mention of Kurt or Karen Angle here. A nice relief.
1 -- HOMICIDE vs. ROBERT ROODE -- Street Fight
This literally took place in the parking lot outside of the Impact Zone. They were surrounded by cars with their headlights on to provide light in the night. They brawled with weapons and fought on and around the cars and dumpsters. Homicide set up a Gringos Killer, but Jackie interrupted. Someone wearing a hood interfered. It turned out to be James Storm. Tenay said they anticipated this being a fair one-on-one fight. The heels handcuffed Homicide and dragged him into the arena and inside the ring. They stomped on him as Jackie cheered. Hernandez finally made the save. The heels ended up double-teaming him, though, too. Hector Guerrero came out to try to uncuff Homicide. Hernandez got a whip and hit the heels repeatedly to clear the ring. Then Sting showed up again in the rafters about eight minutes into the show. Tenay and West again wondered what he was doing there, and why now.
WINNERS: No contest.
[Commercial Break]
-A video package aired hyping the World X Cup. It touted the world class athleticism in the division. The narrator said with each win, a new star is born, and with each victory a new team is closer to being the 2008 World X Cup Champion. It would help people are a little if they did more to acknowledge past World X Cup tournament winners so it seems as if someone was keeping historical track of it.
[Q2]
1 -- MASATO YOSHINO vs. DOUG WILLIAMS
Tenay said Yoshina is known as Speed Star in Japan. Williams punished Yoshino with a variety of knee blows. After more back and forth action with an interesting mix of styles, Williams rolled up Yoshino and then rolled through into a back suplex into a bridge for the win.
WINNER: Williams in 5:00.
STAR RATING: * - That win gave Team International 2 points, so that meant that in the standings for those who care... wait. Nobody cares? Okay. Never mind, then.
-Backstage Angle walked up to Angelina Love and Velvet Sky in their locker room. Angle scolded them for worrying about their make-up because they had a match later. Love told him to chill out. She said every day is a beauty contest for the Beautiful People. She said "the marks" pay to see them because they're hot. Angle said he has a reputation as a bad-ass. He ordered them to get out of their seats and do some squats. Love had Borash spot her as she did spots. Love said, "That better be your microphone!" Sky said, "Eww. Gross." They put their paper bag over his head. He yelled, "I swear it was my microphone."
[Commercial Break]
-A clip aired from earlier in the day with Lauren at Sonjay Dutt's yoga class. He led kids in learning yoga. He had Lauen demonstrate a move. He got behind her in a sexual position. She said she's not feeling anything. He said to give it a minute and he's sure she will. Petey Williams showed up for class. Dutt said he had to leave if he wasn't going to donate. Black Machismo then charged into the yoga center and attacked Dutt, dumping a shelf made of plastic tubes holding yellow yoga balls onto Dutt. Ouch!!!! Dutt hid behind the children from the class. Dutt taunted Machismo by saying that Val loves him.
-West said, "That guy is just getting creepy." Tenay and West were shown on camera. They hyped the Team Captains Showdown later in the World X Cup tournament, Kaz vs. Ultimo Guerrero. Also, Booker T said he'll apologize to Samoa Joe. And they'd explore Sting's return and feature a TV main event of Kurt Angle & Beautiful People vs. Gail Kim & ODB & A.J. Styles.
-Lauren interviewed Taylor about her scheduled match against Kong later. Taylor said she's nervous, but she can't wrap her mind around what's happened the last few weeks. She said it's an opportunity of a lifetime. Lauren said she has to be concerned for her well-being. Taylor said Kong wants to hurt her, but all she can do is go out there and lay everything she has on the line and leave it in the ring.
-A video package aired on the Victory Road six-man tag with Team 3D & Angle vs. Christian & Rhino & Styles.
[Q3]
[Commercial Break]
-Another "Rough Cut" segment aired on Morgan, who said after leaving WWE he didn't want to do pro wrestling anymore unless he could do it his way. He said TNA is giving him that opportunity. He said you can't write TV better than being yourself. He said there's no puppeteer behind him now. Cornette said he always believed Morgan had a chance to be one of the biggest stars in pro wrestling if he lived up to his potential. He said Morgan is well on his way. He said he is the blueprint of the perfect athlete. He said he has to mentally and physically keep getting better. Angle said he's young, but has a lot to learn. He said Morgan needs to listen to others, not just himself. He said he has a chance to be a featured attraction, not just a main eventer, to where he could be such a big star he doesn't need the title (says the man without the title right now). Morgan said he wants to succeed because he busted his ass. He says people are starting to take notice that he has busted his ass.
2 -- KIP JAMES & PETEY WILLIAMS (w/Rhaka Kahn) & TOMKO vs. B.G. JAMES & ERIC YOUNG & MATT MORGAN -- Falls Count Anywhere
Williams wore his X Division Title to the ring. It'd be easy to forget that title even exists, even if you watch TNA Impact every week. Eric Young's presence on Impact has been cut way back lately. Tomko and B.G. brawled at ringside early as Morgan battled Kip in the ring. Morgan nailed Kip with a clothesline in the corner, then walked the top rope and came off with a forearm in Plagarized Signature Move No. 1. Young brawled into the crowd with Petey. Back in the ring Young had Petey covered, but Tomko broke up the pin. Young dropkicked Tomko out of the ring. West said it's easy to forget about how good Young can be in the ring because he's so quirky. Young dove at Tomko, but Tomko jabbed him in the throat with a metal pipe. Petey gave Young a slingshot huracanrana on the floor for the win.
WINNERS: Kip & Tomko & Petey in 5:00.
STAR RATING: 1/2* -- Just a clustermess of a match. When the TV show is giving away parking lot brawls and falls count anywhere matches that are forgotten as soon as they end, it really undercuts the ability of TNA to sell PPVs based on cool concept matches. It's so short-sighted to just attach gimmick concepts to throwaway TV matches like that.
-Afterward, Abyss walked out to go after Tomko. He kicked him out of the ring and then stood his ground. He picked up the pipe, but then dropped it almost as if it was a live snake or something. Tenay said they might be seeing a different side of Abyss. Tomko smiled and made a gesture that indicated Abyss is crazy.
[Q4]
[Commercial Break]
-A video package aired on the Taylor-Kong storyline.
3 -- AWESOME KONG (w/Ryesha Saeed) vs. TAYLOR WILDE - TNA Knockouts Title & $25,000 Challenge Match
Tenay said Taylor was the one fan challenger who took Kong to the limit. Taylor jumped Kong at the start. Roxxi came to ringside to offset the presence of Saeed. They cut to a break at 2:00.
[Commercial Break]
After the break Kong was in the midst of sustained offense. She splashed Taylor in the corner. West said Kong is showing Taylor what it takes to be champion. Kong went for a dive off the ropes, but Taylor moved and nailed Kong with three dropkicks, the third off the top rope. She scored a very near fall. Kong came back and controlled the match again. Kong set up her Awesome Bomb. Taylor flipped out and went for a sunset flip. Kong stood her ground, then sat down fast. Taylor moved and then basement dropkicked Kong leading to another near fall. West expressed amazement. Kong threw the ref to the mat in frustration. Taylor dove onto Kong from the top rope and Kong tripped over the ref. The ref counted to near three. Taylor immediately went for a back suplex, but Kong didn't budge. Kong gave Taylor an Implant Buster for a near fall. Taylor ducked a spinning backfist and surprised Kong with a schoolgirl for the shocking upset win. "No freakin' way!" exclaimed West. Tenay added, "Biggest upset in TNA history."
WINNER: Taylor in 10:00 to capture the TNA Knockouts Title.
STAR RATING: **1/2 -- Nice match and very well played out underdog upset.
-Borash interviewed an elated Taylor who channelled some Colin Delaney as she said it was the greatest day in her life. West and Tenay came close to giving away the upset by talking so fatalistically about Taylor.
WHAT HAPPENED: 2ND HOUR
[Q5]
[Commercial Break]
-They recapped the finish of the Knockouts Title change minutes earlier.
-Borash interviewed Kaz, Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, and Curry Man backstage - Team TNA. Borash asked Kaz about the pressure he feels as captain of Team TNA. Kaz asked if he'd let someone come into his home and "eat your food, piss in your toilet, sleep with your girlfriend." He said some of these athletes in the X Division have broken their backs to put TNA on the map. He said they have pride and what they do and that they are the heart and soul of TNA. He said he won't let his teammates or TNA down.
4 -- KAZ vs. ULTIMO GUERRERO - World X Cup Captains Match
TNA entered this match in last place in the point standings. The rest of Team TNA watched from the ramp. Kaz slipped on a springboard attempt on the top rope. He clutched his knee. He oversold it enough that it was obviously a planned spot. Ultimo moved in with a small package for a near fall. Kaz made a comeback, but with a limp. He went for a top rope huracanrana, but Ultimo blocked it and turned it into a powerbomb off the top leading to a near fall. He missed a moonsault seconds later, and Kaz surprised him with a Wave of the Future for the win.
WINNER: Kaz in 5:00.
STAR RATING: 3/4* -- Decent action. That moved TNA into a tie for first place.
[Q6]
-Lauren interviewed Styles, Kim, and ODB backstage. She asked if they were all on the same page. Styles told Kim and ODB he respects what they've done for TNA more than they'll ever know. Kim thanked him. She said she loves wrestling and she opened the doors for other women, and they're disgracing it by worrying more about shaking their ass and rubbing their crotches on the ropes. She said they're going to teach Love and Sky a wrestling lesson they'll never forget. ODB said those two plastic bimbos are everything she hates in the world - all show and no go. She said she's going to give them a facial they'll never forget.
[Commercial Break]
-A video package aired hyping Ultimate X, calling it the match that defines TNA. It hyped Victory Road's World X Cup match Ultimate X style.
-Tenay and West plugged the Victory Road line-up: Sonjay Dutt vs. Black Machismo, Beer Money Inc. vs. LAX, A.J. Styles & Christian Cage & Rhino vs. Kurt Angle & Team 3D, and Samoa Joe vs. Booker T. Cornette interrupted and said a new star has been made in the TNA Knockout division, so he booked a rematch between Kong and Taylor. West said they'd find out if her win was a fluke.
-Angle approached Love and Sky backstage. Love was in a tanning booth. Angle asked if this was a spa. Sky said TMZ or talent scouts might be out there tonight, so they need to look their absolute best. Angle asked the Lord for help getting through tonight. He said they're just like Karen. All they care about is how they look and how big their boobs are.
[Commercial Break]
-A video feature aired on Booker T, recapping his journey in TNA so far.
[Q7]
-Booker T walked to the ring to his music giving Batista run for his money as Most Dapper Dresser. West and Tenay wondered what he was planning to apologize to Samoa Joe about. Joe's music played and he came out as Booker requested. He had the World Title belt over his right shoulder and a mic in hand. Booker said contrary to what fans might think, he does respect him. He said in front of all of the fans he wanted to apologize for his past behavior. He said, "I'm sorry, Joe. I'm sorry for what's going to happen this Sunday night in my hometown of Houston, Tex." He said his buddy Kevin Nash is right about one thing: "You can't beat me, Joe." He said he is a paper champion and he's never beat anybody. Joe said: "C.M. Punk." Not really, actually. Joe didn't actually answer Booker's question. He just stared him down. Booker brought up Rick Martel (weird first choice, since he wasn't a big name on a serious main event level since he was AWA Champion in the mid-'80s). He said he's also noted wins over Steve Austin and Chris Jericho. Martel got no crowd response, but Tenay did interject he was a former World Champion. Austin and Jericho got some cheers. Booker said he's beaten them all. Booker shook Joe's hand and said, "May the best man win." Joe said he's right that he's sorry because he'll be sorry he ever called him out or said his name or ever spoke to him with bass in his voice. He called him "punk" with perhaps a little spit projected. He said he'll be sorry the words Samoa Joe ever came out of his mouth
Sting's music then played. Tenay said the icon is back in TNA. Sting walked out. Joe and Booker turned to watch him walk to the ring. Sting yelled and then told Booker and Joe that they have him hooked. He wonders who's going to win at Victory Road. He asked the crowd and fans shouted a mix of answers. Sting said he doesn't know who will win, but he'll be there to watch. Booker asked if he wanted the winner. Sting said those were Booker's words, not his. Tenay wondered why Sting would be at Victory Road.
[Commercial Break]
-A video feature aired with Gail Kim and Angelina love discussing their rivalry. It was UFC-style in that they went back and forth with alternating soundbites from each. Both Kim and Love were very good with believable delivery and effectively building a legit backstory for their feud.
[Q8]
5 -- ANGELINA LOVE & VELVET SKY & KURT ANGLE vs. A.J. STYLES & ODB & GAIL KIM
The main event began with 13 minutes left in the show. West talked about how Kim feels the Beautiful People are doing nothing but disgrace the Knockouts Division that she worked so hard to build up to a high level of respect. At 1:00 Styles and Angle tagged in. At 2:00 Frank Trigg walked to ringside. Then Karen walked out, too. They cut to a break.
[Commercial Break]
At 7:00 all four women entered the match and battled for a minute. Styles, meanwhile, flip dove onto Angle at ringside. Kim gave Sky a neckbreaker for the pin.
WINNERS: Styles & Kim & ODB in 8:00.
STAR RATING: * -- Some nice exchange in there, but it didn't seem to add up to a full feldged match given that the middle three minutes were cut out, so there was only two minutes before and two minutes after the match.
-After the mach, Karen gave Kurt a low-blow from behind to stop him from putting an anklelock on Styles. Styles then set up Angle for a Styles Clash, but Trigg jumped Styles. He gave Styles a snap-FU type move. Angle put Styles in an anklelock as Trigg taunted him. Meanwhile, the Beautiful People put a paper bag over Kim's head. West said, "If you think this is wild, come join us Sunday night at Victory Road."
-A final video package aired hyping Victory Road match-by-match. Send feedback on this article to pwtorch@gmail.com and we'll regularly publish reader feedback in the "Torch Feedback" category on the Main Listing.
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