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KELLER'S ECW ON SCI-FI REPORT
MAY 6, 2008
LONDON, ONT.

-A video hyped that if the first 100 episodes have been wild, fans haven't seen anything yet. The ECW opening then aired, followed by pyro and Tazz introducing the show. He said, "I tell you what, controversy has always swirled around this brand and it still does today."

-Tony Chimmel introduced Mike Adamle as "the new voice of ECW." He walked out and waved and smiled on his way to the ring. Tazz said everyone has been wondering why he walked out on commentary last week. He said he followed him out of loyalty. He said now we'd get "Mike Adamle's point of view." He stood mid-ring and said a lot of people have been asking him about what happened last Tuesday night and why he made a sudden departure from the broadcasting table. He said, "In essence, I lost my cool and I need to apologize. Number one, to my partner, tremendous, tremendous individual, tremendous wrestler, tremendous guy, Tazz. I didn't mean to leave you in the lurch. And I also apologize to all of you, the great ECW fans." He said he's been a broadcaster longer than many of the fans have been alive. He ran down his resume, including seven years in the NFL, covering the NFL for nine years, worked four Olympics, and hosted "American Gladiators." He kept getting booed. He said, "You know what? I had no idea how hard this job was and how great the ECW fans are." Kiss-ass. "Have I made mistakes? Absolutely. I'll be the first one to admit that. I've got a group of superstars backstage who aren't shy about letting me know when I screw up." He said he wants to make clear he loves "the WWE" and loves working for ECW and will "do everything in his power" to be as professional as he possibly can. "Despise me if you will, but enjoy the 100th episode of ECW on Sci-Fi."

This is just getting surreal. Fans don't tune in to a wrestling show to watch an announcer, much less a bad one apologize for being bad. If a plumber has flooded your basement, you don't want a speech apologizing about it, you want him to fix it or get out of your house so you can find someone who can. Adamle can plug his resume all he wants, running down each progressive step down the ladder he's made, and he can play for pity by telling fans they can despise him, but what had he done the right thing from the beginning, like watch wrestling in his "free time" while getting paid six-figures to do almost nothing else so he knew the names of the wrestlers (and his broadcast partner), this distraction wouldn't have been necessary at the start of a show that should have been around the ECW brand and its wrestlers. But if you're going to go to this much trouble to draw attention to last week's silly stunt, at least have an explanation for why you walked off. Why was he frustrated? Does even 5 percent of the audience know Vince McMahon is notorious for screaming in announcers' ears as they do commentary?

1 -- TOMMY DREAMER vs. MIKE KNOX

Stevie Richards joined Tazz at ringside. Adamle said "what people forget" is that he wrestled the first ECW match ever. How can people forget something they never would have known in the first place? Adamle also said Richards "wrestled" the first ECW "match" in history, and what he meant was Richards "sports entertained" the first "spectacle" in ECW history. What's this "wrestling" he speaks of. Richards specified the date: Feb. 25, 1992. Tazz said he didn't know that. Richards threw Knox into the ringside steps early in the match. Knox retrieved weapons from a shopping cart at ringside. Dreamer slidekicked a trash can into Knox and regained control at 3:00. He whacked Knox with a singapore cane and a boat paddle. Dreamer really struggled to get a shopping cart in the ring over the top rope. He tried to suplex Knox onto it, but Knox slammed him onto it instead. Dreamer hung Knox upside down in the corner, then hit him with a trash can and shoved the can and a cart against Knox and slidekicked it. Knox blocked a Dreamer bulldog attempt on a table propped in the corner, then back suplexed Dreamer through it for a two count. Richards said he's known Dreamer for 18 years and there's no one tougher in ECW. Knox swung it at Dreamer, but Dreamer moved and kicked it into Knox's face. Then he bashed Knox across the back with it, but Knox fired back with a low blow. Richards and Tazz dominated commentary and barely let Adamle get a word in edge-wise. Knox then corkscrewed Dreamer onto the chair for the win. Adamle said, "The Mike Knox-out!" He stumbled over even that.

WINNER: Knox in 6:00.

STAR RATING: * -- I supposed there's more of a future for Knox in ECW than Dreamer - maybe - but it doesn't pay much tribute to ECW tradition to have Dreamer lose the opener.

-Adamle and Tazz plugged the Colin Delaney vs. Armando Estrada contract match later. "What shakes like jelly-jelly? It's Kelly Kelly," said Adamle.

-A clip aired of The Zombie on the "first episode of ECW" (on Sci-Fi) on June 13, 2006. He was attacked by Sandman. This wasn't a bad booking idea in as much as it was an attempt to cater to Sci-Fi, which of course is known for zombie movies above all else.

[Commercial Break]

-Kelly's Expose was up next as she danced to "Throw It on Me" by Timbaland. Layla interjected herself and tried to outdance Kelly. It broke into a brawl with two referees having the unfortunate task of prying them apart.

-A clip aired of the Sept. 26, 2006 episode of ECW where Rob Van Dam suplexed Hardcore Holly onto a tale, slashing his back open.

-Adamle and Tazz plugged the Matt Striker vs. Kofi Kingston match up next.

[Commercial Break]

-A clip aired from episode #55 on june 26, 2007 where Roddy Piper shoved a cake into Matt Striker's face after which The Boogeyman shoved worms into Striker's mouth and spit them onto his face. Adamle said, "I could have taken the cake, but not those awful worms."

-A clip aired of Chuck Palumbo vs. C.M. Punk last week. Backstage, Lena said it looked like "you got as good as you gave." Palumbo said if Punk gets in his face again, he'll knock him out.

2 -- MATT STRIKER vs. KOFI KINGSTON

"The Gold Standard" Shelton Benjamin walked out and joined in on commentary. Adamle asked if he can beat Kofi. Shelton said, "That's like asking if you can stay here for an entire broadcast. Of course I can." That just makes no sense. He said it like it was clever, but it wasn't. Shelton said Kofi may be the second-best athlete in ECW, behind him. Kofi hit a ridiculously high dropkick. Kofi bounced his head off the ropes in one of the strangest things you'll ever see, then finished Striker with his 360 degree round kick. Shelton charged into the ring and slammed Kofi onto the mat with a faceplant. Adamle said Shelton proved in recent weeks that blondes don't necessarily have more luck.

WINNER: Kingston in 2:00.

-Colin Delaney walked toward the entrance tunnel as the entire ECW roster and Smackdown wrestlers stood in the hallway and applauded him.

[Commercial Break]

-A clip aired from Apr. 3, 2007 of episode no. 43 of a tables match with New Breed vs. ECW Originals.

3 - COLIN DELANEY vs. ARMANDO ESTRADA

Delaney walked to the ring to try to earn his contract against G.M. Estrada. Tazz and Adamle were blown away by Estrada's "eight pack abs." Delaney went for a quick roll-up win, but Estrada kicked out. Estrada slapped Delaney around and tossed him across the ring. Adamle talked right over Delaney rolling up Estrada for the three count. Can't someone at least clue him in to when to shut up with his silly sayings and attempts to prove he can read a notecard with factoids about every wrestler and call the finish of a match that they've been building up for months? I mean, are we all gathering at this arena and broadcasting this show on TV to get Adamle over and redeem his reputation or tell a dramatic, effective story with wrestlers and wrestling in the ring? Wait, don't answer that, Vince and Kevin. Delaney jumped to ringside immediately, got on his knees, then popped up and slapped the hands of fans at ringside.

WINNER: Delaney in 2:00.

-Tazz interviewed Delaney at ringside. He thanked everyone, especially Tommy Dreamer, but also the doubters who inspired him. He said this win makes all of those beatings he took worth it. He ran to the back to celebrate.

-The Smackdown Rebound aired.

[Commercial Break]

-A commercial aired for Raw that said Triple H may face Judgment Day sooner than expected.

-They showed Tazz and Adamle at ringside, who were joined by John Morrison and The Miz. Morrison applauded Adamle for getting their names right. Miz presented Tazz with a "Chick Magnet" shirt. He said to Adamle, "I'm sorry, no kid sizes."

4 -- CHAVO GUERRERO & BAM NEELY vs. C.M. PUNK & KANE

Morrison said he hates everything about Punk: His tattoos, his lifestyle, his facial hair, his tights, his kick pads. Morrison challenged Adamle to name moves he obviously didn't know the names of. Tazz saved him. As Chavo and Bam caught their breath at ringside, they cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

Morrison and Miz gave Adamle a tough time for not introducing them again after the break. "Are we not here," said Morrison dryly. "Get with the program, already. This is the 100th episode. This is kind of a big deal." Adamle: "What's a big deal are your red boots." Morrison: "You can't even see them. You're jealous of my red boots." Adamle: "I'd like you to put them up. They're great." Tazz: "Easy there, Mike." Morrison: "Why are you so interested in my feet?" Miz: "Why don't you go Jamaca-yourself-crazy, Adamle." One of the things obvious with Adamle is that even though he's got the names down now and can learn some names of holds (not that that's even required of WWE announcers), he doesn't have a feel for the matches and often is stepping on spots in the match to get in one-liners or asking questions of a color commentator at a key transition point in a match that an announcer more familiar with wrestling (through years of watching) would have a sense of. Punk took an extended beating. Kane got a hot tag at 12:00 and beat up Chavo. Kane hit a clumsy looking top rope clothesline on Chavo that came up a bit short of actual contact, then favored his left knee and limped over to Punk to tag him in. Punk finished Chavo with a GTS. They cut to a crowd shot and a kid in a grey t-shirt mid-screen was as excited as anyone you'll ever see for any reason, period. Kane was still favoring his knee afterward and seemed a little frustrated, but not in terrible pain. Punk, briefcase in hand, stood next to Kane and looked down at Miz & Morrison, who held up their tag titles in response.

WINNERS: Punk & Kane in 14:00.

STAR RATING: **

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