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KELLER'S WWE RAW REPORT 5/5: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of Raw from Toronto, Ont.
May 5, 2008 - 8:25:18 PM |
KELLER'S WWE RAW REPORT
MAY 5, 2008
FROM TORONTO, ONT. - LIVE ON USA NETWORK
WHAT HAPPENED: 1ST HOUR
-The show opened with a clip of William Regal proclaiming himself the most powerful figure in all of WWE after his King of the Ring victory. He said everyone in WWE must respect and fear him. Then they went to Mr. Kennedy getting in his face. Then they went to Regal cutting off the end of Triple H vs. Randy Orton, stating the fans don't deserve to get an ending.
-They went instantly live to the stage without pyro or the Raw opening to Vince McMahon standing on the stage. He said he pulled the plug on Raw, "ending the broadcast in the middle of a championship match." Some fans booed. McMahon said many fans sent emails and made phone calls demanding that McMahon respond to it and hold Regal accountable. McMahon said he found Regal's actions "reprehensible" and "void of any feelings for any of you whatsoever." He said at the same time, he finds his actions "somewhat innovative" and "daring" and "visionary." He concluded, "As a matter of fact, William Regal reminds me of me!" He said he's there to 100 percent support and endorse G.M. Regal as both King and General Manager. He thanked the fans very much.
-Lilian Garcia then introduced Regal as the man who has earned the right to be called "The King of all WWE." As Regal walked to the ring to new intro music, Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler introduced the show. Regal calmly, confidently said he will not tolerate being disrespected. He asked the fans if he has their respect. They booed. He said he has the authority to pull the plug on the show. He called for the lights to be taken down. They came back on a few seconds later. As Regal continued about demanding respect, Mr. Kennedy interrupted him and came to the ring to his newer intro music.
Kennedy got in his face and said if he wants respect, all he has to do is take him up on his offer and face him one-on-one in this very ring tonight. Regal said it's a shame when people don't know their place in life. "I'm your superior," Regal said. Kennedy said, "Well then, prove it." Regal said Kennedy is tonight's main event and he'll be facing ECW Champion Kane and John Morrison & The Miz and C.M. Punk and the former ECW Champ Chavo Guerrero and his bodyguard. "In fact, you'll be facing on your own the entire ECW roster." Kennedy mock applauded him. Regal said he has made an arrangement with Armando Estrada. He said all he had to do in exchange was plug the 100th episode of ECW tomorrow night.
Triple H's music played. He said Regal has to avoid making mistakes in his position of power. He said it was a mistake to cut off his match mid-stream. He said disrespecting him is a mistake. "And trust me, William Regal, if you would like to maintain your position and keep your power, you do not want to go to war with me!" Regal said he wouldn't do that for he's far too busy. He said in two weeks he has to go to war and defend his title against Randy Orton. He said he also will be busy tonight, as he added Triple H to the main event, teaming with Kennedy against the ECW roster. Ross wondered what chance Kennedy and Triple H had against the ECW roster. Lawler said there are 14 ECW roster members. He also plugged Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix in a lumberjack match for the Women's Title. Kennedy carries himself like a star. Regal was strong in his role. Triple H was fine, but didn't do anything unusual for him. It was Mr. Serious Triple H instead Mr. Sarcastic Triple H.
[Commercial Break]
-A commercial aired for the 100th episode of ECW tomorrow night. Brief clips included Sabu and RVD, but not in a way that implied they'd show up, but who knows.
1 -- MICKIE JAMES vs. "GLAMAZON" BETH PHOENIX - Lumberjack Women's Title match
Glamazon knocked Mickie down and threw her to the heel lumberjacks at ringside. The babyface lumberjacks ran in and saved her. Beth scored a one count afterward. A minute later, Mickie got upset with Jillian Hall tripping her, so she leaped to ringside. That led to another brawl. As they were about to cut to a break, Glamazon made a cover. Ross stopped count along; Mickie kicked out. They cut to a break.
[Commercial Break]
Ross said the lumberjacks are there to throw anyone back into the ring who tries to escape, but not interfere otherwise. At 7:00 Mickie hit Glamazon with a Thesz Press off the top rope for a two count. Mickie knocked Glamazon out of the ring with an enzuigiri. Glamazon yanked Maria by her hair into the ring. As the ref got rid of her, Melina mistakenly hit Glamazon with her boot. Mickie then pinned Glamazon with an inside cradle.
WINNER: Mickie James in 8:00 to retain the WWE Women's Title.
STAR RATING: * -- Lots of lumberjack ringside action, but not a real flow to the match otherwise. It worked for what it was there to do.
-Backstage, Regal approached Chris Jericho and brought up his theory that Shawn Michaels feigned a knee injury. Regal said he was booking him and Michaels against Morrison & Miz. He said if Michaels is fine, he has nothing to worry about. Not sure how anyone is supposed to feel about that situation as they haven't really established who is the liar or bad guy.
[Commercial Break]
-Backstage, Trevor Murdoch serenaded a backstage worker. Trish Stratus then walked into the picture. The hometown Toronto crowd popped. Ron Simmons then walked up to them and saw her, then looked at Murdoch and yelled, "Damn!"
-They went live to Lawler and Ross at ringside who talked about Trish's cameo. Ross said Simmons was inducted into the Collegiate Hall of Fame. They showed clips of him playing college ball, then plugged the main event 14-on-2 main event.
-Todd Grisham interviewed Orton backstage. He asked him about the "hugely controversial Raw" last week when Regal cut it short. Orton said Triple H would have people believe he had the match won, but he disagrees. He said he doesn't necessarily agree with Regal's decision, but he respects his authority. He asked about facing Punk later. Orton said he'll see the cold, hard reality of what's in store for him if he ever decides to cash in his Money in the Bank briefcase against him after he regains his title at Judgment Day "when the Age of Orton resumes."
-Lawler plugged Roddy Piper would be Carlitio's guest later. So Vince, Trish, Simmons, and Piper all add some small extra touches to this week's show with the ratings for the show in April the lowest they've been in 11 years compared to previous Aprils.
[Commercial Break]
2 -- PAUL BURCHILL & KATIE LEA vs. JOHN CUTLER
Cutler was introduced as being from Toronto. Regal interrupted before the bell and demanded Ross's mic be turned off. He said his replacement for the match would be someone else who has been disrespected, but will stand up for himself, Mike Adamle. Lawler asked Ross if his mic was on. Ross handed Adamle the headset and walked away without looking at him. Adamle said it's a pleasure to be able to work with him. Adamle said, "We don't know much about John Cutler except his name rhymes with Butler, so if he wins, the Cutler will have done it." This was clearly set up with Lawler directed to sound agitated by Adamle as he "stated the obvious." It came across really clunky and forced. Lawler had to explain to Adamle why it was a handicapped match as he seemed confused, but Adamle is actually bad at acting confused. They showed Ross sitting at ringside. Cutler took Katie down with a trip, but Burchill intervened right away and stomped on him. Adamle said, "She's definitely not a pretty face." Lawler said she is a pretty face. She leaped off the top rope onto Cutler as Burchill held him in the air arched over his knees. Burchill finished him with the curb stomp, which frankly works on a curb, but doesn't look all that bad relative to most finishers on the mat. Adamle asked if it's a matter of time before we see Katie "with the Divas." Adamle said it was a pleasure to work with him and he's see him around the block. Adamle got up, shook Lawler's hand with a smile, and walked away. Adamle isn't even good at pretending to be bad.
WINNER: Adamle in 3:00.
-Jericho walked up to Michaels and called him "Shakespeare." Jericho said he knows he's not hurt, so he'll start the match, but when he tags him, he better have his back. Michaels said he is hurt, but he'll do his best out there. Jericho said he better. Michaels looked down at the floor, sad, dejected, and worn out.
[Commercial Break]
WHAT HAPPENED: 2ND HOUR
3 -- CHRIS JERICHO & SHAWN MICHAELS vs. MIZ & JOHN MORRISON
Ross said he watches ECW every Tuesday and Miz & Morrison are one of the reasons why. He said he thinks they are the future of tag team wrestling in WWE. He said they're students of the game, but for some a bit too arrogant. Ross said some Canadians remember in 1997 when Michaels beat a Canadian legend Bret Hart in controversial fashion to win the WWE Title. Lawler said some other wrestlers he's spoken with in the locker room believe Jericho's theory. Ross said he trusts Michaels (just seconds after bringing up the 1997 Survivor Series). Jericho began the match. After getting dropkicked, Miz tagged out to Morrison. Jericho went for a Walls of Jericho at 2:00. He wasn't close enough for Miz to interfere as planned from the ring apron, so he kindly and obviously dragged Morrison closer to the ropes so Miz could swing at him; that looked bad. Jericho ducked, then hit Miz with a springboard dropkick to knock him to the floor. Morrison recovered and springboard kicked Jericho in the face. Lawler wondered why Regal teamed Jericho and Michaels. Jericho caught Morrison with a boot during a charge at 3:00 and then put an interfering Miz in a Walls of Jericho. Morrison kicked Jericho, then kneed Michaels on the ring apron. Michaels entered and superkicked Morrison in the jaw, then collapsed clutching his bad knee. Morrison went down and then was nice enough to shift himself into place for the as-always completely ineffective looking Lionsault for the win. Michaels limped to the back as Ross noted he was never officially in the match. Lawler said if Michaels isn't hurt, he deserves an Academy Award.
WINNERS: Michaels & Jericho in 4:00.
STAR RATING: *1/4 -- Okay action, but wrestlers need to stop nudging themselves into positions for the next move. Leave it up to the wrestler to drag them into position. It looked bad when Jericho and Morrison both moved unnaturally to set up getting hit.
[Commercial Break]
4 -- RANDY ORTON vs. C.M. PUNK
All of these matches with Punk and big names seems like a mix of an elevation of Punk, but maybe more so a test to see how he does against the top level veterans who can give their own evaluation of whether "he has it" and is worth pushing to the top over the next couple years. Orton yanked Punk by his leg off the ring apron onto the floor for a flat-back bump. Lawler said he'd like ECW wrestlers on Raw more often, but he didn't like the combination of he and Adamle. At 3:00 Punk went on a flurry with a running knee in the corner followed by a running bulldog. Regal walked out and said the fans would love to see this match continue, but as a show of his authority and the fans' lack of respect for such, he is turning off the lights. He said, "This match is officially over."
WINNER: No contest when Regal stopped the match at 4:00. This is a gimmick that could get old quickly, but as a short-term angle that has a decisive conclusion (so fans don't start expecting it and decide to withdraw from ever getting fully immersed in a match), it's potentially okay.
[Commercial Break]
-Grisham interviewed Orton backstage. Orton was in a rage. He said he was okay with Regal's decision last week, but he's not only with it this week. He said he was going to Regal's office to demand to know what's going on right now.
-Carlito stood in the ring with the Carlito Cabana set. He said last week something happened between Santino Marella and Hall of Famer Roddy Piper. They went to a clip of Piper slapping Santino. Carlito introduced Piper as his guest. Carlito said Piper took things a little too far last week. Piper called Carlito "Buckwheat." Does anyone under age 20 even know about "The Little Rascals" anymore? When was the last time that show aired in reruns? Piper said if he was a normal guy, he might have taken exception to the insult and turned the other cheek, or perhaps just insulted him back, "but not me." He said he beat Mr. T, he beat Hulk Hogan, and he beat cancer, and he is so sorry that he doesn't have the time to "play nice-nice to the Super Mario Brother." He apologized for not having the time to sit and talk about it with him "because my name ain't Dr. Phil." Hey, a reference from this decade. He moved from the 1930s to the 1990s right to the 2000s. Carlito said Piper is lucky he wasn't there because he would have slapped him right back. Piper said, "Oh yeah? You're lucky I didn't bring a seagull to make a nest in that thing you call a hairdo." Santino then walked out. Ross said he refuses to use the term "business is about to pick up here."
Santino told Carlito that he doesn't have to lay a hand on Piper. "He's all mine," said Santino. He called him Roddy the Piper. He said Piper always say he did things his way. He said it took Piper eight years to become IC Champ, whereas he did it his first night in the company. He also said he is about to become tag champion with Carlito. Piper said, "What you need to do first of all is get a designated driver, baby." The crowd oohed and ahhed. Lawler laughed. The crowd chanted "DUI, DUI." Is there nothing WWE won't turn into a storyline? Cody Rhodes walked out onto the stage and said that's not how you treat a legend. He asked them to back off so nobody gets hurt. Carlito said, "What are you doing? We know your boyfriend Hardcore Holly is not here. Stay out of this. You don't want none of this." Cody said Holly isn't there, but he knows two guys who are just dying to meet the Hot Rod. Out came Cryme Tyme as Cody did a mix of Dusty Rhodes and Jack Evans body posturing and posing. Cryme Tyme walked into the Cabana set. Carlito and Santino bailed out. Shad started a "Rowdy Roddy, yeah yeah" chant. Piper began to dance.
[Commercial Break]
-Ross and Lawler ran down the line-up for Judgment Day so far: Triple H vs. Orton in a cage and JBL vs. John Cena.
-JBL leaned on his white limo backstage. He said nobody watching could have a clue what it's like to be him with the charter planes, stretch limos, and being waited on hand and foot. He said he's going to share with them the opulence that is his lifestyle. He got into his limo. He bragged about the leg room, full bar, and high speed internet. He said he even has a flight attendance in the limo on occasion, "to serve me, of course." He said Cena likes cars, but the difference is, he (JBL) rides in the back. He said since Cena robbed him of his date with destiny, Cena will crash at J-Day. He said it's time for a preview of J-Day, then he got out of the limo which was now in main area of the arena and he headed to the ring. He said he wishes it was Cena in the ring, but since it's not, what more fun could he have other than beating up Canadian "in this toilet bowl you call home."
5 -- D.H. SMITH vs. JBL
JBL talked about him being Davey Boy's son. He said the Hart Foundation is dead. He said his father can't help him now. He said Bret Hart can't help him now. He said, "In fact, Harry, God can't help you right now." JBL charged and kicked him in the gut, then pounded him with a barrage of kicks and forearms and knees and a big boot. Ross said JBL has spouted controversial words before, but those may be at the top of the list. He said they were inflammatory and disrespectful. JBL finished him quickly with his Clothesline from Hell. Lawler called it "complete annihilation." He beat him down in the corner afterward.
WINNER: JBL in 1:00. It's about time they did something to try to give JBL his edge back.
[Commercial Break]
-Regal addressed the ECW wrestlers backstage. Punk was yelling at Regal, protesting his turning off the lights earlier. Regal silenced everyone and told them to put their "silly squabbles and petty differences" aside for one night. He said they can all go out on Raw and make a statement. Firstly, they have to get a definitive win over Triple H and Kennedy. Secondly, they get to show Triple H and Kennedy and the rest of the Raw roster that they should never disrespect him again. He said he won't turn off the power, but he does expect a victory. "Anything less will be considered a disappointment." The roster clapped and walked to the ring together, with Kane the last in line. He stopped and went nose-to-nose with Regal briefly, then joined the rest.
-Ross and Lawler were shown at ringside. Lawler said they've seen "abuse of power" tonight, but no more than when Vickie Guerrero stripped Undertaker of his World Title on Smackdown last Friday. The Smackdown Rebound then aired showing Vickie calling off the main event (Taker vs. The Great Khali) and stripping Taker of the title because of the injuries he's been causing lately with his new submission hold. She advised him to walk up the ramp and surrender the title belt to her. She said if he won't, she'll send Khali to get it for her. Khali walked into the ring to get the belt, but Taker took him down with a big boot and then applied his choke. Curt Hawkins and Zach Ryder, meanwhile, grabbed the belt and it to Vickie.
6 -- THE ECW SUPERSTARS vs. TRIPLE H & MR. KENNEDY
For the record, the ECW Superstars were: Kane, Miz, Morrison, Punk, Tommy Dreamer, Matt Striker, Stevie Richards, Kofi Kingston, Mike Knox, Chavo Guerrero, his new bodyguard Bam Neely, Nunzio, Shelton Benjamin, and Elijah Burke. Everyone came to the ring together except for Kane, who got his own entrance to his music. After ECW ring intros, they cut to a break.
[Commercial Break]
Kennedy got his full ring intro. As Triple H walked to the ring, Ross noted he's a 12-time WWE Champion. He said that number 12 is significant as it puts him ahead of The Rock, Hulk Hogan, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, Shawn Michaels, and others. After seemingly forever since JBL's one minute match, and with just three minutes left in the second hour, the match began. Kofi started against Kennedy. Triple H and Striker tagged in a minute later. Next in was Knox against Kennedy. Knox got in ECW's first solid offense with a hard clothesline on Kennedy. Chavo tagged in salto suplexed Kennedy. Kofi and Dreamer took turns working over Kennedy. Kofi tagged in Shelton, but mistakenly hit him. Shelton jumped Kofi and knocked him to the floor. He went after Kennedy, but Kennedy returned fire with a back suplex. Shelton tagged in Nunzio, but Kennedy slammed his head to the ground. Nunzio tagged Chavo back in before he could tag Kennedy, but Triple H had enough and entered illegally. He backdropped Kofi over the top rope, then gave Richards a spinebuster. Kofi superkicked Hunter. Kennedy gave Striker his Mic Check. Kane chokeslammed Kennedy in return. Chavo climbed to the top rope. Kane grabbed Chavo by the throat, Neely fought with Kane, Chavo got off the frog splash, and Kennedy was pinned.
WINNERS: The ECW Superstars in 6:00.
STAR RATING: *1/4
-A brawl broke out among the ECW wrestlers afterward. They swarmed Triple H center-ring. For some reason, Dreamer participated and tried to hold Hunter for a chairshot. Hunter elbowed himself free and began clearing the ring with chairshots to various wrestlers' heads. Regal then hit the light switch. When the lights came back on, Orton was in the ring giving Triple H an RKO. Ross asked, "Where in the hell did Orton come from?" Ross called him viper-like. He stood over Triple H and stared down at him as his music played.
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