TV REPORTS CALDWELL'S TNA IMPACT REPORT 11/15: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of two-hour show
Nov 15, 2007 - 9:59:27 PM
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By James Caldwell, Torch columnist
TNA Impact on Spike TV
November 15, 2007
Taped November 12 in Orlando, Florida
Report by James Caldwell, Torch columnist
They opened cold with Jim Cornette in the process of puzzling Mike Tenay and Don West by saying they cannot mention Booker and Sharmell's names on the broadcast because they aren't signed to contracts. Cornette is having a contract signing for them tonight. So now we get two hours of Tenay and West talking circles around Booker and Sharmell.
After the intro aired, Kurt Angle walked out with Karen, A.J. Styles, and Tomko. Karen clapped it up for her man, with them back on good terms for now. Kurt opened by saying he never doubted his wife all along and knew she would take care of business. Kurt also thanked A.J. and Tomko, and welcomed them to his family, the Angle Alliance. They went for a big group hug, but Kevin Nash walked out not looking too pleased. Nash said he thought he and Kurt were family. Kurt called him a has been and a wussy. He said Nash only brought him down and couldn't get the job done. Nash said he had Sting beat until Angle turned on him. Angle responded by telling him to come get some. Nash stepped into the ring and brawled with Angle's men. They took him down to the mat, then X Division wrestlers and other random men showed up to chase Angle's group.
They showed a shot of Christian Cage just pulling up at the building in the sunlight. Just say it was earlier in the day to cover for the fact that it's a taped segment.
Nash was suddenly on the phone backstage telling someone to show up. 20 minutes until Hall arrives. Nash walked past Crystal and said it's payback.
Lance Hoyt came to the ring macking on Christy Hemme while Jimmy Rave walked in front of them. LAX came out to face them, with Hernandez having just made a save in the previous segment.
1 -- LAX (HOMICIDE & HERNANDEZ) vs. LANCE HOYT & JIMMY RAVE (w/Christy Hemme)
LAX dominated Rave in the early going while Tenay talked circles around Booker's appearance at the PPV. Homicide then ran into a big boot from Rave, and Hoyt came in to work on Homicide. Homicide tried to make a comeback, but Hoyt ran him over with a big clothesline. Hoyt then did some odd pose on the top rope and missed with a leg drop that drew Hemme's ire. Hernandez took a hot tag and Rave begged off before Hernandez cleaned house on the heels. Hernandez with a fireman's carry into powerbomb on Rave, then LAX doubled up on Hoyt. Hernandez knocked Hoyt to the outside, then he straight flew over the top rope onto Hoyt. Back in the ring, Hemme distracted Homicide, allowing Rave to roll up Homicide from behind for the win.
Afterward, LAX jumped Rave until Hemme slipped into the ring. Hoyt was nowhere to be found to save his woman, so the random gangster LAX member slipped into the ring and cracked Hemme in the back with the slapjack. Shelly Martinez...er...the random LAX member flashed her face to the crowd, but the camera didn't pick up on it and the announcers didn't acknowledge who it is.
WINNERS: Rave & Hoyt in 4:00. Good energy for four minutes with Hernandez delivering the usual butt-kicking performance. Makes no sense for LAX to lose to a throwaway tag team, but they got their heat back after the match. (*)
Team 3D was backstage for a promo without Crystal. Devon was holding one man hostage with a hood over his head. Boy, I didn't realize Ray and Devon joined up with Al-Qaeda. Ray said they will give up the hostage if the X Division meets their demands. 1) No more X Division name. 2) Morons in the Impact Zone stop chanting, "That was awesome." 3) X Division wrestlers are no longer allowed to hide behind their keyboards and put themselves over on the Internet behind a fake name. 4) 12 cases of ding-dongs and 5 cases of Yoo-hoo. Ray got carried away on the milk, then he got serious again. 5) Immediately, all X Division wrestlers will turn over their rats to Team 3D. Ray said if they ever want to see the X Division Title belt again, then meet their demands. Ray stuck his tongue in the camera to wrap up the promo. I could have gone a whole lifetime without having to see that.
Crystal was backstage with Christian Cage at a dark setting. She went on and on about everything bad Christian has experienced recently, so he told her to shut up. Christian said he gave up his entire body to beat Kaz and keep his undefeated streak. Crystal stopped Christian and asked about the undefeated streak. Christian corrected her that it's right. He then ripped on Styles and Tomko for not following his instructions of not showing up during his match, costing him his match. Christian said they poured salt in the wounds by appearing next to Angle at the end of the PPV. He told them they better have a good explanation when he comes looking for answers. Nice promo.
Ringside, Tenay and West posed a ton of questions about tonight's show. They plugged Angle vs. Kaz for the TNA Title later tonight.
Robert Roode came out with Ms. Brooks and they focused on the planted fan ringside who asked Roode to hire her. Gail Kim came out ahead of Chris Harris for a mixed tag match. Tenay and West talked about Harris being a complainer. That was so two weeks ago. They continued to talk circles around Booker and Sharmell.
2 -- ROBERT ROODE & MS. BROOKS vs. CHRIS HARRIS & Women's champion GAIL KIM
A few minutes into the match, they cut to a split screen of a TNA locker room with a "Guest" sign on the door. Tenay and West said it's for the people they can't mention by name. Roode took Brooks out of the match by putting her in a chair ringside since he believed she wasn't helping his cause. Roode and Harris had a stalemate before they cut to a break.
They returned with Roode dropping Harris with a spinebuster in center ring for a nearfall. He then wrenched on Harris's neck while the camera kept focusing on the ringside fan. Roode snapped off a neckbreaker, then he asked for the steel chair from Brooks, but Brooks refused to give it up. Roode took the chair and dropped Harris with a chair shot while Gail Kim had the ref inadvertently distracted. Roode made the cover on Harris for the win while Brooks shook her head in disgust.
Afterward, Tenay said we have to feel for Brooks in her position. Why? There's no reason to feel sorry for her. She can work at McDonalds or a law firm or at a car wash or anywhere else. After the match, Roode gave Harris a series of chair shots to the back while Brooks tried to tell him to stop. Roode went up top for a splash on Harris, but Brooks got in the way and told him to stop. Brooks shoved Roode and the crowd popped for Brooks finally standing up to Roode. Brooks then ripped away the planted fan's sign and pulled her over the guardrail. They brawled, Roode smiled at the sight of a cat fight, and then security pulled them away from each other.
WINNERS: Roode & Brooks in 10:00. Gail didn't have much of a role in this one, so it was basically a singles match. Nice storyline advancement with Roode and Brooks. Another hot segment on the show to keep the energy going. (*)
They quickly cut to the parking lot where Crystal found Scott Hall showing up in the building. Hall said if Angle and his posse want to play with him and Big Kev, then they'll play.
In Cornette's office, Jim Cornette told Matt Morgan he screwed up. He asked Morgan how he got off making matches, putting together programs, and bringing in people without a contract. Morgan gave an explanation that he booked good matches, then Cornette explained that Hoyt made him look bad, which is going to generate questions from those people up there in the ceiling called management. Morgan hung his head in shame. Hoyt and Rave stormed into the office and took us back to the first segment where Hoyt complained about male on female violence, per Spike TV. Hoyt said he would go to the ceiling to complain. Cornette warned Hoyt about trying to go over his head where the air is a little thinner. Suddenly, Team 3D's music came on the monitor.
In the ring, Team 3D had the hostage on his or her knees in the ring. The fans chanted, "That was awesome", irritating Ray. He called out for Sabin and Shelley to meet their list of demands, then Sabin and Shelley came out with X Division champion Jay Lethal. Sabin spoke first. He said they paid extra special attention to the ding-dongs request, considering Ray could have asked for anything in the world like money, cars, strippers, or lower cholesterol. Sabin returned fire with a mother joke, so Ray whipped the hostage they had in the ring with his belt. The fans chanted, "That was awesome", irritating Ray again. Ray took the hood off, revealing Havok. He's still on the roster?
Lethal, apparently drunk, demanded his X Division Title back. Ray said the belt doesn't even fit him, so Lethal can come get it. Ray let them in on a secret that there's a traitor in the X Division. A bunch of random men then stormed the ring behind Team 3D and beat them down. Lethal freed Havok, who slipped to the outside and grabbed a Kendo stick. He then came into the ring and cracked the stick over the X Division wrestlers. Havok revealed his alliance with 3D, then they started a beat down on the X Division. They just took a 6-week program and finished it in approximately 15 seconds. Only in TNA.
Backstage, Borash interviewed Styles and Tomko. Borash with his first appearance 50 minutes into the show. Styles asked for the camera man to get in close so Styles could explain himself to Christian Cage. He said he was under a lot of pressure as team captain, so he made the deal with Karen Angle thinking it would make the three of them even stronger. Styles said he would never do anything to hurt Christian. "I love you, man" Styles said. Tomko muttered something, then said Christian won't understand. Styles asked Borash if he'll get demoted. He wasn't too concerned about being demoted to co-captain.
Hall and Nash talked backstage.
James Mitchell cut a promo about bringing Judas Mesias back from the dead. He said Abyss's suffering has only just begun.
Hall and Nash walked out to a strong ovation. Nash tried to open, but Hall took the mic from him and said his signature catchphrase, as Tenay would call it. Nash said this would be short and sweet, so Nash milked the crowd audience for a while. He said they just talked to Cornette and a match has been made: Angle's Alliance against Hall & Nash, and a third partner that will be revealed before the night is over. Tenay and West talked about the redundant...er...recurring theme on Impact with mystery partners.
They showed a clip from the PPV when Rellik debuted to beat up Abyss and throw him in the portable crapper. Every monster heel in TNA rises from the depths of hell. They spell Rellik with a backwards K for Killer spelled backwards, as opposed to doing his previous gimmick of REDRUM with Murder spelled backwards.
3 -- BLACK REIGN (w/Misty the Rat) vs. RELLIK vs. ABYSS
They booked this as a three-way match, but it was essentially a handicap match with Reign and Rellik working over Abyss. They landed a double knee to the gut, but Abyss dumped Reign to the floor. Rellik then gave Abyss a spinebuster. They cut to backstage where Kaz was preparing for the biggest match of his life. On the floor, Rellik and Reign had a disagreement on who should beat up Abyss.
They returned with the black and red demon express working over Abyss in the ring. They set up Abyss for a clothesline, but Abyss ducked and Rellik ran over Reign on accident. Abyss took advantage of the bumbling heels and landed an Umaga running corner splash on Reign in the corner. Rellik then took a chokeslam, and Reign broke up a pin attempt. Reign went for a powerbomb, but Abyss back body dropped him. Abyss then dropped Rellik with the Black Hole Slam for the win.
After the match, Reign smashed Abyss in the head with his toy. Rellik then cracked a steel chair over Abyss's head. Reign then gave Abyss the modified Pedigree into the chair. Suddenly, Rhino appeared out of nowhere and cleared the heels. Reign took a chair shot to the face, then Abyss quickly recovered and clotheslined Rellik to the floor.
WINNER: Abyss in 8:00. Another rushed program where Abyss got the pin on Rellik before they could even build up Rellik as a credible heel, give viewers any background on where he came from, what his relationship is with Reign, or why TNA allowed him to sign a contract. (1/2*)
Back to Borash, who interviewed Kurt Angle backstage. Angle wasn't worried about the mystery partner. Angle questioned Borash on saying "we" in his line of questioning. Angle said there is no 'we', there is only me, TNA world champ. He said he doesn't sweat Hall and Nash because they're not the Outsiders, they're now the over-the-hillers. Angle said Sean Waltman doesn't even have the brain cells to make it to the building. He said Kaz is trying to run with the big dogs and trying to make a name for himself at his expense.
4 -- AWESOME KONG vs. ALEXA JADE
Kong walked out with a photo of Gail Kim that she stared longingly at. Alexa tried to lock up, but Kong shoved her away to the corner and landed a huge splash. Kong did the thighmaster squeeze in a reverse torture rack, as they showed Kaz warming up backstage. Kong with a spinning back handed slap before landing a sit out powerbomb for the win.
After the match, Gail Kim walked out and told Kong to stop staring at her picture because she's right here. Gail challenged her to do something, but refs came out and tried to hold Gail back. Gail skipped around them, then jumped into the ring and tried to climb on Kong's back. The refs continued to hold Gail back until Kong took advantage of Gail being distracted and landed a huge clothesline. She then gave Gail a sit out powerbomb and stared down at Gail's lifeless body.
WINNER: Kong in 1:00. Standard squash to continue building up Kong. Nice segment with Kong and Gail to advance their program. (n/a)
They cut to a shot of the Booker and Sharmell mystery locker room. Tenay, basically saying that no one watches the PPVs, said the mystery of TNA's special guests is about to be solved for the Impact audience.
Cornette was in center ring for a big contract signing. He built up Booker T, then brought him out with Sharmell for the official addition to the roster. Booker and Sharmell, all smiles, came dressed for a formal night out on the town. Cornette shook hands with Booker, then Cornette said it's tremendous to have them join TNA. Booker started by thanking all of the fans. Cornette tried to proceed with the contract signing, but the fans interrupted with a "thank you, Booker" chant. Cornette asked Sharmell to sign her contract first, and she affixed her signature. Booker said the fans would be calling him Booker T-N-A, then he affixed his signature to the document. Cornette asked for some of Booker's plans and goals in TNA. Before he could answer, Christian Cage's music interrupted.
Christian walked out, setting off Tenay and West. Cornette tried to calm Booker down, then Cornette screamed at Christian for sticking his nose in the spotlight. Christian said he just wanted to say hello to an old friend of his. Booker didn't appreciate the opening line. Christian said he's had some personal problems lately, so he needs to take care of some business. He said Booker is here just like everyone else to win the World Title. Wow, good stuff. Christian said this world is different for Booker because there are no scepters or crowns, but there is one king, Christian Cage. He said he's the real champ. Christian said something that was bleeped, so Booker went wild on Christian as Sharmell shouted encouragements. Christian bailed, then Booker said he just took Christian's #1 Contender slot. Hot segment between two old WWE'ers, but they're quickly glossing over Kaz before he even has his title match.
Speaking of Kaz, they aired a video package on Kaz, labeling him the future of the business. The voice-over man talked about Kaz climbing the ladder of success to become #1 Contender while smashing down boundaries.
They went to Borash, who stood by with Kaz. Borash said Kaz shocked the wrestling world when he beat Christian in the ladder match at the PPV. Borash continued to talk while Kaz paced the floor. Kaz said he earned the right for the title tonight, which is all he wanted. He said he would leave everything he has in the ring tonight. That left a little to be desired, but they effectively got over the story of Kaz being nervous ahead of the biggest match of his career.
Kaz came out first as the challenger. Kurt came out all smiles while Karen followed behind. Kaz remained focused in the ring before the bell sounded. This definitely has a big-match feel to it.
5 -- TNA Hvt. champion KURT ANGLE (w/Karen Angle) vs. KAZ -- TNA World Title match
Nice feeling-out process to start things off before Kaz snapped off a dropkick and landed an arm drag in center ring.
Kaz continued to work over the left shoulder with arm drags to ground Angle on the mat. Angle found a way to his feet and he dumped Kaz over the top rope to the floor. They replayed Kaz falling to the outside before cutting to a break.
They returned with Angle landing an overhead suplex in center ring. Angle strutted around the ring before landing hard European uppercuts in the corner. He followed with hard right hands to rock Kaz to the mat. Angle grounded Kaz on the mat while Karen cheered for her man. Kaz broke free of a mat hold and they each landed clotheslines in center ring. Referee Hebner applied a ten count and both men reached their feet at six. Kaz landed a clothesline off the squeaky ropes, then landed a springboard dropkick for a nearfall. Angle suddenly slapped on the anklelock, but Kaz fought out and rolled up Angle for a close nearfall. Angle then caught Kaz with a German suplex out of nowhere. He dropped the straps and stalked Kaz for the Olympic Slam, but Kaz countered into an arm drag, then followed with a hard dropkick for a nearfall. Kaz went for the Wave of the Future, but Angle countered. Kaz caught him on the second try and scored a nearfall. Karen then hopped on the apron, allowing Angle to land a low blow on Kaz and hit the Olympic Slam. Angle made the cover, but Kaz kicked out just in time. Angle then went up top, but Kaz caught him with a leaping kick to the head. Kaz looked at Angle hanging up top, then he leapt up and nailed the Flux Capacitor. He made the cover, but Angle kicked out just in time. Kaz went for the Wave again, but Angle countered into an amateur-style pin on the mat and secured Angle's shoulders to the mat for the three count.
WINNER: Angle in 14:00 to retain the TNA Title. Very good main event TV title match. This was a star-making match for Kaz, as long as they follow up on tonight's near-victory and continue to build momentum for him. Great counters, reversals, and nearfalls throughout the match between one of the top wrestlers in the world when healthy and a wrestler who I have watched have great matches in California, and just needed a shot on the big stage. (***1/2)
Afterward, Kaz had a shocked look on his face. After collecting himself, Kaz smiled and said he was inches away from beating Angle. Karen tried to stop Angle from getting back into the ring, but Angle stepped back into the ring and jaw jacked with Kaz. Hall and Nash snuck into the ring, then Kaz bailed and Angle was cornered in the ring. Nash and Hall took turns working over Angle, then Styles and Tomko jumped the over-the-hillers and tried a beat down. Suddenly, Samoa Joe's music hit and Joe stormed the ring. He ran over Angle, then Styles, then Tomko and cleaned house. Joe landed a clothesline on Tomko then tossed him over the top rope to the floor. Joe stood tall in the ring while Hall and Nash stood behind him. Karen and Kurt backed away from ringside while Hall, Nash, and Joe stood tall in the ring to close the show. Possibly the best 20 minutes of TV that I can remember in a long, long, long time on Impact.
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