By Wade Keller, Torch editor

KELLER'S WWE RAW REPORT (hour two)
NOVEMBER 12, 2007
WICHITA, KS.

-Vince McMahon introduced Shawn Michaels and Randy Orton, who each came out to their own ring entrances. They stood on either side of face-to-face podiums in mid-ring. Orton reminded Michaels of the stipulation. He said he can't use or even attempt to use the superkick or he's DQ'd. Michaels said he gets the rules. He reminded Orton that if he once gain tries to get DQ'd, then he wins the belt. Orton interrupted and said he's sick and tired of hearing people say he got intentionally DQ'd at CyberSunday. He said he was defending himself against him and his superkick. Michaels said the reason he got the superkick banned is because for the last five weeks, he's been feasting on nothing but Sweet Chin Music. The crowd popped. "And you knew number six was coming at Survivor Series, and when it lands, that championship title is coming to HBK." Orton told him to "come off of it." He said Michaels is a hot-head who gets frustrated when he loses his temper. Michaels said he likes that train of thought and asked him to bring that to Survivor Series. "Without the kick, what am I?" Michaels asked. "For years, I've heard people say if Michaels can hit the kick, he can beat anybody. But when I think about that, I'm beginning to wonder if that's a compliment or a criticism. I've never seen myself as a one-hit-wonder with an axe to grind, but who knows, maybe it's true. Maybe everything I've accomplished over the last 20 years has been just a fluke." He said maybe it's been luck. Then he said maybe he could walk into Survivor Series and win a match with a submission hold. He said, dripping with sarcasm, "Gosh, I don't know if I'm all technically sound for that kind of stuff." He told Orton to ask himself how it will feel to be the only guy in WWE history to lose the championship to him when he didn't have the option of using the superkick. "You know somethin', I don't need it," he said. "All I need is the memory of what you did six months ago when you tried to end my career by kicking my head off not once, but twice." He said all he needs is the memory of his wife's tears when he was loaded into the ambulance and his kids wondering if he'd ever work again. "All I need, Randy, is a memory of you trying to end my livlihood. That's all I need," he said. A big "HBK" chant broke out.

Orton told Michaels to tell his wife and children to prepare for the same feelings this Sunday. Michaels made a move around the podiums toward Orton. McMahon grabbed him. Michaels turned to McMahon, then back to Orton. When he sensed Orton was moving toward him, he started a kick. Orton collapsed, then took a shot at Michaels's knee. Michaels went down and Orton pounded at his head with a barrage of punches. McMahon stood and snarled as Orton set up a Career Killer punt to Michaels's face. McMahon stepped in and said not now, he can do it on Sunday. Orton instead gave Michaels his RKO, did a little trash-talking, and then left the ring. The crowd chanted "HBK, HBK."

[Commercial Break]

-After a plug for Kane and Rey Mysterio appearing on ECW tomorrow night, they went to a lengthy recap of the Orton-Michaels angle.

4 -- LEYLA & JILLIAN & VICTORIA & vs. KELLY KELLY & MICKIE JAMES & MICHELLE MCCOOL

Mickie finished Leyla with a kiss and then a roundhouse kick on the rebound. Lawler said he'd love one of those kisses, but couldn't take the aftermath. He said he didn't know what was going on, but his eyeballs loved it. Mickie even pulled her hair back so fans could see she really laid on a kiss on the lips. That'd be a great finisher for Hardcore Holly, too.

WINNERS: Mickie & Kelly & McCool.

STAR RATING: 1/2*

-Lawler took off his shirt and watch to prepare for his match up next against Marella.

[Commercal Break]

-A clip aired of The Rock beating Mick Foley on a double-cross by Vince McMahon to join The Corporation in 1988.

-A vignette aired Snitsky saying "pain is his pleasure." Good to know.

5 -- JERRY "THE KING" LAWLER vs. SANTINO MARELLA

Lawler got in offense at first, but Santino kicked Lawler on a backdrop attempt and took over. Ross said this is the last thing Lawler expected to be doing tonight. Santino caught a charging Lawler with boots to the face. When Santino called to Ross, "Watch this, J.R.," Lawler small packaged him for the three count. WWE announcers don't call "school boys" or "small packages" by their long-known names anymore. It must be too old school, you know back before pro wrestling was reinvited as sports entertainment. Who konws. Lawler joined Ross at ringside and with a wide smile, asked Ross what he thought of that Divas tag match earlier.

WINNER: Lawler in 2:00.

STAR RATING: 1/4* - Served its purpose just fine.

-They showed scenes outside the Wichita, Ks. arena, then as Ross and Lawler began talking, the Save_Us video aired again, with the same countdown clock, so maybe he's appearing twice. Back at ringside, Lawler said he's cracked the code and it's next week. Ross said, "I'm not so sure about that." Ross threw to a video of William Regal training Hornswoggle earlier that day for his match at Survivor Series against Great Khali with help from Coach.

-They went to an empty arena with Regal asking Lilian to introduce Hornswoggle. Out came Hornswoggle. The camera panned the arena like a crowd was cheering. Hornswoggle came out from under the ring. Regal asked Lilian to introduce his opponent, The Great Khali. Lilian made the ring intro, and Khali's music played. Hornswoggle looked worried, but a fake Khali walked out. It was a shirtless Coach wearing a wig. Coach climbed over the top rope like Khali, but of course barely made it safely. Coach had a fake Runjin Singh, too, accompany him. Coach threw off his wig. Regal told him he had to and insisted he pick up the wig. The fake Singh did a bad, insulting imitation of the real Singh ending with a strange stereotypical Native American chant. The ref gave them instructions, then Regal told Coach to be a tackling dummy and not lay a hand on Hornswoggle. Hornswoggle kicked at Coach. Coach yelped in pain. Regal told him to "stop being such a girl." Coach complained to Regal. Hornswoggle kneeled as Regal tripped him. Hornswoggle pulled down his pants. Regal told Coach to pull his pants up because his mother was watching. Hornswoggle hit a top rope splash on Coach for the three count (it was a fast-count!). Coach wept in the corner. Hornswoggle took his wig, put his hat on Coach, and ran away. Well, it was better (and shorter) than last week's DX skit. That's all I'll say, though.

-Lawler and Ross ran down the entire announced line-up for Sunday's Survivor Series. They're not acknowledging at all Edge appearing in the graphics with a chainsaw.

-Todd Grisham interviewed Triple H backstage, Hunter's first appearance on Raw. Hunter said Survivor Series is about who can survive, just as the name implies. He said when all is said and done, if there's only one man standing, it will be him. He said Umaga will be lucky to survive tonight. He vowed that the final chapter of the Triple H-Umaga saga will be written tonight by the one true conquerer, the King of Kings. Good, straight-forward promo. He's not the most interesting character, but at least Triple H has some dignity and credibility when he carries himself like that.

[Commercial Break]

-A clip aired of Lawler vs. all the Doinks and Dinks at the 1994 Survivor Series. Ross chuckled. Lawler said it must've been Ross's idea to dig that out.

6 -- TRIPLE H vs. UMAGA in a Lumberjack Match

Lumberjacks representing Hunter were Rey Mysterio, the Hardys, and Kane. Umaga was represented by his PPV tag partners, also: Kennedy, Big Daddy, V (w/Matt Striker), MVP, and Finlay. That underlighting during Hunter's ring intro pose is not flattering at all, and it's only going to get less flattering as he ages into his 40s if he keeps that same ring entrance. Umaga was introduced second. The main event began with eight minutes left in the second hour. A minute into the match, Umaga dove at Hunter at ringside, but Hunter moved and Umaga flew into the ringpost. Hunter then kicked Umaga in the ring and went for an early Pedigree. Umaga backdropped Hunter to the floor. Umaga's lumberjacks attacked him, but Hunter's lumberjacks forced them to take a step back. They cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

Umaga took control after the break. Ross talked about the mismatch possibilities at the PPV, such as if Hunter's partners are eliminated and he's left against Umaga's entire team. "Talk about surviving, if you're lucky," Ross said. Lawler wondered what would happen if it was Rey left alone. Ross said it would be great to see Matt and Jeff together again. Umaga settled into a nerve hold in mid-ring at 10:00. Hunter's teammates slapped the edge of the ring canvas to get the crowd to clap for Hunter. Umaga beat on Hunter in the corner with a barrage of punches. The lumberjacks got into a scuffle at ringside. Umaga went for the corner butt splash, but Hunter moved. Hunter then threw Umaga into the ringpost from inside the ring twice, followed by a DDT for a two count. Hunter did the DX chop and set up a Pedigree. Umaga countered into the Samoan Drop and signalled for the Samoan Spike. Hunter ducked and hit the spinebuster, at which point Finlay interfered. All of the lumberjacks entered as the ref called for the bell. They went off the air with everyone brawling.

WINNER: Hunter via DQ in 14:00.

STAR RATING: **

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