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CALDWELL'S TNA IMPACT REPORT 10/18: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of two-hour show

Oct 18, 2007 - 9:59:23 PM
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TNA Impact on Spike TV
October 18, 2007
Taped October 15 in Orlando, Florida
Report by James Caldwell, Torch columnist


They opened with a recap of the Bound for Glory PPV.

Backstage, Kurt Angle sat on the couch with Karen Angle and told Jeremy Borash that he had Sting beat at the PPV. He said Kevin Nash cost him the title by sticking his nose in his business. Karen agreed with Borash that he would have lost to Sting if Nash didn't at least try to help. Angle was pissed at that, then told everyone he's challenging Sting for the title tonight. Karen said Kurt wouldn't be able to win without Nash here tonight. Kurt didn't take kindly to that, and told everyone to leave so he can get ready for Sting tonight.

After Mike Tenay and Don West introduced the show from ringside, Kurt Angle came out to the ring. Karen Angle followed behind from a distance. In the ring, Kurt told Sting to come out of hiding with his title belt. Kurt said that if it wasn't for that has-been Kevin Nash, he would still be champion. Kurt said NWO stands for Never Won Zero. The High School reunion continued with Kurt saying if Nash was here right now, he would beat his ass in front of everyone. Kevin Nash's remixed music interrupted and Nash slowly walked out to the ring with a perplexed look on his face. Nash said maybe Kurt wants to say his piece to his face now. Kurt said if it weren't for Nash, he would still be champion. The fans disagreed. Nash said Sting was kicking Kurt's ass around the arena and the only reason he came out was because he felt sorry for Kurt. Nash said they've had a good run, so he's coming out here for one chance to apologize to him and settle their issue. Kurt said he's not sorry and he's not going to apologize because Nash has been riding his coattails for months. He said Nash is a disgrace to the business. Kurt said he has a fight tonight. Nash said he has a fight, but it's not with Sting, it's with him. Nash started to unbutton his shirt to prepare for a fight, then Kurt landed a right hand jab. Nash came back with an elbow strike, then he dropped Nash with a Jacknife powerbomb. Karen checked on Kurt while Nash did the Wolfpack sign for the crowd.

[Commercial Break]

[Q2]

They came back and recapped the Nash powerbomb on Angle. Backstage, Borash found Angle trying to stretch on his couch while Karen explained that Kurt has to get better tonight if Sting grants him the re-match tonight. Kurt's body was broken, apparently. Karen suggested Kurt make peace with Nash somehow. Borash said Nash likes porn. Kurt told Karen to go down to the variety store and find some nudey mags and movies. Karen laughed and asked if Kurt and Borash think a stack of porn mags are going to prevent Nash from kicking his ass. Kurt was sure of himself. Karen said they're both jokes, and she left. Kurt told Karen not to forget the porn.

1 -- CHRIS SABIN vs. ALEX SHELLEY -- Fight for the Right Quarterfinal match

Not even a minute into the match, Brother Ray walked out and said this match sucks. He called them horrible and not wrestlers. Brother Devon then snuck into the ring and jumped them. Ray slowly made his way into the ring and called them a bunch of nobodies. Which one is Krispy Kreme? Ray pulled off his belt and he started whipping them for costing them their match against the Steiners at the PPV. Devon grabbed two tables from under the ring, while Ray cut a promo on the X Division. He said the X Division sucks and he's going to destroy it. Ray said they're going to destroy the X Division because they can. Ray and Devon had two tables set up and they hit powerbombs in stereo.

WINNER: There was a match?

They quickly went backstage where Jim Cornette complained about them not being able to have a tournament without the burrito boys interrupting. Christian Cage walked in with a ladder and said he should take the slot in the tournament. He said he wanted a ladder match. Samoa Joe then walked in and said he wants the last slot in the tournament. Christian said he was here first and beat him to it. Joe reminded Christian that he beat him at the PPV. They argued like kids in a schoolyard while Matt Morgan stood there trying to look cool.

[Commercial Break]

Suddenly, there was a Mike Tenay interview with Disco Inferno on a backstage interview set. Just like that. Out of nowhere. Tenay talked about Disco's background in WCW and the early days of TNA. Disco said he hasn't fallen off the map just because he's been off TV. Tenay said this comeback might be considered a parody. What comeback? Where did this come from? Where were the three to five weeks of vignettes? What is this about? Where's the first five chapters of this story? Disco laughed at the notion of Tenay making fun of his comeback. Suddenly, someone who looked like Scott Steiner walked on the set and said something to Disco. High School Reunion continues.

[Q3]

2 -- TALIA MADISON vs. AMAZING KONG

They aired the unedited replay of Kong flipping over the top rope and exposing her chest at the PPV on Sunday. Kong dominated poor Talia here. She nailed a big corner splash and spinning slap before nailing a sit down powerbomb for the win.

WINNER: Kong in 2:00. Total squash to build up Kong as the #1 contender to Gail Kim's Women's Title. (1/2*)

Backstage, Borash interviewed Kevin Nash. He said he can be a nice guy or an SOB. He said he's been comedy relief since he came to TNA, but Kurt is pushing him. Karen Angle walked in and tried to convince Nash to reconsider his stance. Nash said he knows Karen rides and dies with Kurt, but he's on the other side now. He walked away in a huff. Karen summed it up: "JB, this is such a mess." Yes, yes it is.

[Commercial Break]

Backstage, Crystal brought in Chris Harris and Rhino for an interview. Harris said James Storm and Robert Roode are his two favorite people in TNA right now because he can always beat them. Rhino walked onto the interview set and Harris cut a promo on him for not showing up on time. Harris crossed the line and told him to show up sober tonight. Rhino, trying to be a tough guy from the movies, pulled him in close and asked if he has a problem or something.

3 -- ROBERT ROODE (w/Ms. Brooks) & JAMES STORM (w/Ms. Jackie) vs. CHRIS HARRIS & RHINO

A minute into the match, Tenay plugged the Mobile info for TNA possibly taking over New Japan. Harris and Rhino worked together early on, then Rhino was cornered in the heel corner.

[Q4]

Harris took a hot tag at 4:00 and back body dropped Roode to the mat. He then caught Storm with a spinebuster and dumped him to the floor. Roode went for the Payoff, but Harris went for the Catatonic. After a series of reversals, the action broke down. Storm nailed an enziguiri kick on Harris behind the ref's back, then Roode caught Harris with the Payoff for the win. Afterward, Brooks stared down the planted fan holding a "President of the Robert Roode Fanclub" sign on the front row. She then reluctantly held up Roode's hand in victory. In the ring, Rhino and Harris were at odds with each other.

WINNERS: Roode & Storm in 6:00. Short tag match to continue whatever program these four men are involved in. (3/4*)

Backstage, Borash asked Kaz if this is the big break he's been looking for in the tournament. Kaz said he had to put up with the, and I quote, "douchebagery" from Raven for a year. He's ready for a new run as the K-A-Z.

[Commercial Break]

In the ring were a row of title belts on a table. Mike Tenay hyped the PPV and talked about the new champions in TNA. Jim Cornette looked on approvingly. Before Cornette had a chance to introduce the new champions, X Division champion Jay Lethal interrupted to get himself some championship loving. The fans chanted "Black Machismo", then Cornette said Lethal is popular, but the problem is that he's not really a new champion. Cornette said they didn't get a chance to publicly congratulate him when he did become champion, so here's a gold watch. Lethal shook Cornette's hand and left. Now get out of the ring X Division. Tenay then welcomed out Gail Kim to accept her mid-90's WWE Women's Title belt. Gail became emotional as Cornette held up the belt for her. He put her over as an inspiration to the ladies on the roster. "Wow, what a moment," West said. Gail said she's so proud to be the first TNA Women's champion. Tenay thanked her, then she left.

[Q5]

Out next were Tomko & Styles to accept the tag titles, with Christian Cage bringing up the rear. West said it's just like Christian to show up to bask in the glory of someone else's success. Cornette put them over for letting their ability speak for themselves in the ring. Styles took his trophy, then Tomko shook Tenay's hand. Tomko had a speech prepared. He said he stand corrected about Styles's ability. He gave Styles the mic, then Styles pulled out a list of people to thank. Kip James keeping it real at the age of 50 made the list. Christian interrupted and said they should both be thanking him. Cornette asked Christian why he's out here without a belt. He claimed to be the real champ. Christian said he's dressed to compete, so he wants the final slot for the tournament and he wants it tonight. Cornette said Samoa Joe wants it, too, so it seems like they should have a fight for the right to fight for the right. Against his better judgment, West tried to repeat that. Cornette booked Joe vs. Christian, with the winner receiving the final slot.

Tenay then described Sting's victory over Kurt Angle to become world champion. He introduced Sting, who slowly walked out to accept the belt. Cornette said Sting's performance at Bound for Glory was one of his better moments of his career. The fans chanted, "You still got it" and Cornette paused for the chant. Cornette said Sting can be prouder of winning the TNA Title than any other belt because of how much effort and suffering went into attaining it. Sting said Angle took him to places he's never been before, but he's still got it, man. Very choppy segment. Tenay then transitioned to Angle's challenge for a re-match. He polled the audience and they cheered for it. Sting said it's Showtime one more time. Kurt's music then interrupted and he showed up on the entrance ramp in a wheelchair. Sting was befuddled. Some stagehands then wheeled Angle out to ringside. Quite a sad reality for Angle later in life. Karen rubbed Kurt's shoulders as Kurt read a doctor's note that he will be unable to wrestle tonight due to severe damage to the spinal cord. West sarcastically said he got that diagnosis quickly. Kurt said he would be medically cleared to wrestle next week. Sting asked Kurt if he got his mommy to sign that. He said that Kurt better bring the wheelchair next week because he'll be crippled next week for real.

Backstage, Disco Inferno did some exercises. West said Disco makes his long-awaited comeback tonight. Long-awaited?

[Commercial Break]

Backstage, Kurt was in his locker room with Karen on the couch. He moved quick off that wheelchair. Kurt asked what happened to Sting turning the other cheek. Karen said Kurt didn't hit Sting in the cheek; he hit his son. Kurt said they need to find Nash.

Tenay talked about the "revised" brackets for the tournament. Sabin and Shelley are injured and out of the tournament. Christy Hemme led out Lance Hoyt and Jimmy Rave. Hoyt and Christy didn't seem to be on the same page, with Hoyt hanging around with Rave more than Christy. I'm not even going to read into that one.

[Q6]

4 -- LANCE HOYT (w/Jimmy Rave and Christy Hemme) vs. KAZ -- Fight for the Right Quarterfinal match

Kaz hit a swinging necbreaker at 3:00, but Rave yanked Kaz's foot off a pin on Hoyt. Rave and Christy started arguing, then Christy entered the ring and screamed at Hoyt. Christy and Hoyt starteg arguing, then Kaz grabbed Christy and bent her over. Hoyt became agitated and charged Kaz, but Kaz ducked. Kaz then hit a kick to the face for the win.

WINNER: Kaz in 4:00. The odd couple continues to have problems. Oh, and Kaz won a match. (1/2*)

Suddenly, there was a random dude named Crazy Legs backstage with Crystal. He talked about the food eating contest on Spike TV after Impact, with a Kobayashi vs. Chestnut re-match from their Fourth of July duel. Junior Fatu then showed up and said he's used to shutting down the buffet table. He said there are a lot of crazy things happening in TNA, but he's the new breed in TNA. Fatu called Robert Roode a jabroni, then he smelled something in the air. He said he smells something for next week when he faces Rick Rude or Robert Roode or whatever that jabroni's name is. Yes, Fatu is supposed to be cooler than everyone on the roster and act like he's better than everyone else, but it comes across so bush league that he's trying to be The Rock and that he can't get his opponent's name right.

[Commercial Break]

Kurt was back in the wheelchair with Karen pushing and Borash holding the mic. Kurt told Karen to talk to Black Reign. Karen reluctantly approached him and asked if he had seen Kevin Nash. Reign said he had. He then brought out Misty the Rat and licked her. Karen freaked out and ran away. Borash did likewise. Kurt tried to find some help from his wheelchair, but no one was around.

Disco Inferno came out to a screechy disco number. Don West called it the much-anticipated comeback of Disco Inferno. Tenay said the match is sponsored by "The Comebacks" movie. West said the movie is hilarious based on a one-second clip from the trailer. Great objectivity.

5 -- DISCO INFERNO vs. ABYSS

Disco tried to land some punches, but Abyss no-sold and landed a forward-falling Torture Rack Slam. Abyss then picked up Disco and landed a Black Hole Slam for the quick win. West finally realized Disco wasn't sincere in his comeback.

WINNER: Abyss in 1:00. Squash. (n/a)

[Q7]

After the match, Black Reign jumped Abyss from behind. Abyss then came back with a clothesline. He chokeslammed Reign, then James Mitchell walked in and tried to punch Abyss, but to no avail. Abyss slowly turned around and put him in the air for a Shock Treatment, but Reign smashed Abyss with a chair to free Mitchell. Reign then cuffed Abyss to the corner ropes as Mitchell looked on with glee. Reign picked up the rat and brought it over to Abyss, who looked at the rat with a look of complete fear. Reign then put the rat in a bag and covered Abyss's face with the bag, with the rat inside. Reign continued to choke out Abyss while the rat writhed around inside. No crowd heat for this. I'm sorry, but I feel more sympathy for the rat then Abyss.

[Commercial Break]

Ringside, Tenay and West talked about the Joe vs. Christian match. They plugged Angle vs. Sting on next week's show. Suddenly, Tenay had something in his ear. Angle has found Nash.

They cut backstage where Karen pushed Kurt toward Kevin Nash. Kurt complained about Karen pushing too slowly. Borash, having lost any objectivity on this show long ago, started pushing the wheelchair toward Nash's vehicle. He was too late, as Nash sped off. Kurt cried out that he would buy Nash porn.

6 -- CHRISTIAN CAGE vs. SAMOA JOE -- Fight for the right to enter the Fight for the Right match

Joe worked on Christian's knee in the early going, but Christian blocked a flying Sentaun splash to begin his attack. Joe quickly came back with a big kick combo, sending Christian to the floor. Joe then measured Christian for a splash on the floor, but Christian slid back into the ring. Christian tried to come back with a suicide dive, but Joe met him with a kick to the face.

[Q8]

Joe tried to suplex Christian to the floor, but Christian landed on the apron and gave him a reverse DDT onto the side of the apron. Christian dominated Joe on the floor before they cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

They returned with Christian executing a neckbreaker in center ring. He then choked Joe for a four count. Christian nailed a corkscrew elbow smash from the second rope, then he mounted Joe in the corner for a few punches, but Joe caught him with a powerbomb in center ring. Christian tried to come back with a dive from the corner, but Joe caught him in mid-air with an Ace Crusher. Joe then made his comeback with a hard clothesline for a two count, followed by a hard chop and kick to the stomach. They went into a spinning roll on the mat, leading to a nearfall by Joe. He went for the Musclebuster next, but Christian fought him off and shoved him to the mat. Christian then hit a frogsplash for a nearfall. Christian slapped Joe around, which Joe took exception to. Unfortunately, the ref took a dive at 16:00. Joe hit the Musclebuster and he scored a pin, but the ref was KO'ed. Styles then ran in. Tomko ran in. Styles ran back in. Tomko then accepted a kick to the groin from Joe. Matt Morgan then came to ringside and started fighting with Tomko. Styles took a side slam, then Joe kicked a chair into Christian's face. Joe slapped on a rear naked choke and Christian tapped out, but the ref was still KO'ed. Suddenly, Robert Roode walked out and smashed Joe in the back with a chair. The ref magically came to life as Christian draped an arm over Joe. He counted a pin by Christian on Joe. Tenay said he hopes to find out what Roode's motivation for that was on next week's show.

WINNER: Christian in 17:00 to advance to the tournament. Really good wrestling match until the screwy TNA over-booking. At least it adds something new to Roode's character and could give Christian's group a new look, but it would be nice to have one TNA match end with a clean finish. (***1/4)

We welcome your 1-10 score and comments on this show for an "Impact Reax" feature in the Torch Feedback section of PWTorch.com. To contribute your thoughts on Impact, click here.


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