TV REPORTS CALDWELL'S IMPACT REPORT 4/5: Ongoing virtual time coverage of Spike TV show
Apr 5, 2007 - 11:00:00 PM
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By James Caldwell, PWTorch columnist
TNA Impact on Spike TV
April 5, 2007
Taped March 26 in Orlando, Florida
Report by James Caldwell, Torch columnist
We open with a recap video package on last week where Team Cage was named. The one week where it's desperately needed because TNA flew way under the radar on Mania week.
Leticia found Team Cage tossing objects around backstage. Everyone screamed over Tomko, who said he was just joking about not joining Team Cage last week. Christian and Tomko resumed their tension after not being able to decide on who's idea it was last week. Tomko wanted to know why he was in an Eight Mile Street Fight with Rhino tonight and Christian responded that they're team. James Mitchell then asked Christian where Abyss's title shot is. Everyone else chimed in that they want their title shot. Christian avoided the tough questions and stepped off screen.
1 -- RHINO vs. TOMKO -- Eight Mile Street Fight
Rhino came out to the ring, but then he ran backstage and found Tomko near the stage entrance. They started brawling, so the ref called for the bell. This turned into a stunt brawl and Tomko went for the customary spot of slamming his opponent into the wall supporting the grandstands. Tomko grabbed a steel chair from a fan and love tapped Rhino on the back before pushing him over the guardrail to the ringside area.
We come back to find Tomko smashing Rhino with a trashcan lid in the ring. Rhino then slammed Tomko through a table in the corner before Rhino hit the ring and accidentally nailed Tomko in the face with a chair. Rhino then Gored Tomko for the win.
After the match, Samoa Joe and Kurt Angle saved Rhino from a beating before the rest of Team Cage hit the ring to make it a five-on-three beating. Team Cage stood tall once again.
WINNER: Rhino in 7:00. Decent action, but there wasn't a need for a gimmick match between two wrestlers who don't have a issue at stake other than just happening to be on opposite teams at Lockdown. Gimmick matches should be used sparingly and when a feud has built up over time, but hasn't found a true conclusion. (*1/4)
Backstage, various wrestlers were arguing in Jim Cornette's office. He finally snapped and told all of them to keep quiet. Cornette said he would announce matches at the town hall metting later tonight. Gail Kim then stormed into the office and nailed Jackie Moore from behind. The fight spilled over Cornette's desk before security intervened and hauled Gail away.
Team Cage was having a celebration backstage. Styles reluctantly took a sip of an adult beverage. Christian declared victory at Lockdown. Steiner said something no one could understand, then Christian said they need to party like it's 1999. Well, there's a TNA booking joke in there somewhere. Christian said everyone's partying, except for Abyss, who needs to learn how to be a team player. James Mitchell snapped at him to clean up the mess or he would make a phone call. Abyss then flipped over the party table and shook the camera.
VKM walked to ringside with Lance Hoyt and they found Christy Hemme standing on the entrance ramp. She went for a slap on Hoyt, but easily blocked it and took her to ringside while she tried to prevent a wardrobe malfunction. LAX then came out for a match against VKM.
2 -- LAX (HOMICIDE & HERNANDEZ w/Konnan) vs. VKM (KIP & B.G. JAMES) -- non-title match
B.G. started things off and took a pounding from Hernandez. B.G. then caught Hernandez with a boot to the face and crawled in the desert to Kip for a hot tag. Kip then cleaned house on LAX before tossing Homicide to the outside. Suddenly, all the action broke down when the Latino Nation stormed the ring and jumped Kip, causing a DQ.
Team 3D then hit the ring and cleared out the Latinos. They told Homicide to get in the ring, but Homicide bailed. Brother Ray then accepted LAX's challenge for an electrified steel cage match for the NWA Tag Titles at Lockdown. Konnan stared into the ring, then Ray continued his promo. He said they would hold the tag titles held over their heads and the rest of LAX would be back in Tijuana making chalupas. Ray stole LAX's signature line and said, "To live and die in Team 3D."
WINNERS: VKM via DQ in 3:00. Match was inconsequential, but they advanced the storyline. (1/4*)
Backstage, Borash found Team Angle standing around. Joe screamed at Angle for not getting the job done and said he signed on to get his hands on Christian, despite hating Angle. Joe asked him if he had a back-up plan in mind. Angle turned around and snapped at Joe to get off his back. He said Sting and Abyss fell through, and Sting won't even return his phone calls. Rhino then screamed at Angle to come up with another plan. Angle said he had it under control, then he left. Solid promo exchange to build up anticipation for #4 and #5.
[Commercial Break on genital herpes. Wonderful.]
Eye Spy this week was Jay Lethal showing off his new hair-do for Kevin Nash. Nash said he booked Lethal in an Xscape match at Lockdown. Nash then put Sonjay Dutt in an Oz costume from his WCW days. He said he earned six figures for doing two matches in that outfit. Dutt said he would be the laughingstock back home.
Borash found Kurt Angle standing against a wall in deep thought. Borash asked Angle what he had in mind for his team. Angle said no one should doubt him and there will be five members by the end of next week.
3 -- THE AUSTIN STARR vs. SENSHI -- submissions match
Starr hit a suicide dive in the opening minute before taunting the front row fans. He took Senshi into the guardrail before they cut to a break.
Starr delivered a front face suplex out of the break before putting Senshi in the Muta Lock. They cut to Bob Backlund continuing to do steps ringside. Senshi came back with a standing sidekick before hitting a springboard thrust kick to the face. He put Starr in the Dragon Sleeper, but Starr escaped the hold. They fought up top, then Senshi went for the Warrior's Way, but he missed and came up limping. Starr took advantage by going after the left knee with chop blocks before applying a half-crab. He taunted Backlund, who came to ringside, then he sat down on the hold. Backlund decided to throw in his workout towel, giving Starr the win.
Afterward, Starr tried to put Backlund in a cross face chicken wing, but Backlund escaped and threw him out of the ring. Senshi then picked up the towel and threw it at Backlund for costing him the match.
WINNER: Starr in 8:00. About what you'd expect for a TV match. Nothing memorable, but they advanced the story and Starr picked up a credible victory. Pulling out the Skaaland towel-toss without establishing context or history felt like a wasted opportunity when it could have meant something down the road. (*3/4)
Tenay introduced a video package on Sting vs. Abyss. We then went to an interview between Tenay and Steve Borden. Borden told "Chris" that he's sorry and he had no idea things would turn out this way. He said he had no idea that dealing with Abyss's past would further imprison him. Sting said he's starting to doubt his plan for Abyss, and this isn't how he envisioned going out in the wrestling business. He said he has to go home and look his family ... remove sunglasses ... and look himself in the eyes and admit that he failed.
Jim Cornette was in the ring for the company-wide meeting. He said some people are unclear of their roles at Lockdown. He then listed the Lockdown card. Five-man Xscape match for the X Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Jay Lethal vs. Alex Shelley vs. Shark Boy. No Jerry Lynn in the title match this month. Robert Roode vs. Petey Williams. Jerry Lynn vs. Christopher Daniels, who wasn't in attendance. A very special challenge match: Senshi vs. Austin Starr with Mr. Backlund as special referee. Chris Harris vs. James Storm in a blindfold match. Gail Kim vs. Jackie Moore in a ladies cage match. What defines a "ladies" cage match? I'm sure TNA's Props and Sets department will have fun with that. LAX vs. Team 3D for the NWA Tag Titles in an electrified cage match. Main event: Lethal Lockdown match with Team Angle vs. Team Cage.
Cornette asked Angle to have his roster filled by next week because one member of each team will face each other on next week's show. He said the winner will win the advantage of entrance at Lockdown. 2 on 1, 3 on 2, etc. Christian then interrupted and said he doesn't appreciate being told to be at a mandatory meeting when their team was trying to have a party. Cornette snapped that he needs to shut up. He called Christian a con man and said Christian has been handing out title shots, but they hold no value because he decides who receives the title shots, not Christian. Cornette said he's going to give the belt some credibility because whoever scores the winning fall at Lockdown will receive a title shot at the May PPV. So, what happens if Christian scores the fall? Christian screamed at Cornette that his stipulation won't mean anything if Team Angle doesn't even make it to Lockdown. The lights then went off and on, revealing Sting bashing members of Team Christian. Tenay said Sting had a change of heart after discussing his issues with his family. Quick turnaround from chapter to chapter in that story. Sting cleared the ring, then stood tall with Team Angle to close the show.
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