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TV REPORTS
CALDWELL'S IMPACT REPORT 3/15: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of Spike TV show

Mar 15, 2007 - 9:01:00 PM
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By James Caldwell, PWTorch columnist

TNA Impact on Spike TV
March 15, 2007
Taped March 12 in Orlando, Florida
Report by James Caldwell, Torch columnist


We open with a recap of every match at the Destination X PPV.

Inside the Impact Zone, Jim Cornette was inside a steel cage with everyone in the arena clapping it up. Cornette announced a ten-man Lethal Lockdown cage match. Two men begin. Every two minutes, a new man enters the ring. He then introduced Christian Cage as captain for Team 1. Mike Tenay decided to open his portion of the broadcast with a self-admitted dated reference to Lou Gehrig in comparison to Christian. Kurt Angle then came out as captain for Team 2. Cornette told both men that it's their responsibility to choose wisely and quickly. Christian interrupted and said he doesn't like the sound of this. Cornette told him to shut up and said no one cares whether Christian likes it or not. Cornette told him to focus on picking teammates.

After the usual Impact intro aired, Tenay and West started the hype machine for Lockdown. Tenay said the blood rivalry between Team 3D and LAX must continue tonight. They began talking about the X Division until A.J. Styles's heel music interrupted. Styles then limped out on a crutch with his neck in a brace. Styles screamed at Rhino whether this is what he wanted. He said the doctors have told him his neck and back and ankle will never be the same. Styles screamed that he wouldn't wish the same fate on Rhino. He then pulled out his cell phone and said he doesn't even have the heart to tell his wife that he won't be able to put food on the table. Tenay and West with their best work to date by keeping quiet during Styles's promo. Rhino then answered Styles's call and entered the cage. He asked Styles what makes him think he hasn't already called Styles's wife. Rhino then polled the crowd whether he should just knock the crap out of Styles one more time, then he demanded to know what their feud is all about. Styles said he understands that Rhino was just looking out for him and he wants the feud to be over. Rhino asked the crowd whether they want the feud to be over. "NO!" the fans screamed. Styles pleaded with Rhino to make it over. "It's over," Rhino said. They shared a brief stare, then quietly shook hands. Rhino threw the mic down and turned his back, then Styles tried to slam him with a crutch, but Rhino sniffed it out. Styles then surprised him with a low blow and beat him down with his crutch. Styles ripped off his neck brace and circled around Rhino as they cut to a break. Timing. Pacing. Deliberate. Intrigue. Way thumbs up segment.

[Commercial Break]

[Q2]

We came back with Styles and Rhino still going at it inside the cage. Rhino powered up with right hand blows, then he threw Styles into the side of the cage wall. Christian suddenly hit the ring with a crutch in hand and beat down Rhino. He helped Styles to his feet, then both men pounded Rhino with repeated crutch shots. Kurt Angle then led Samoa Joe to the cage. Styles bailed, but Christian didn't make it out. He then tried to climb up the cage to escape, and he managed to land on the outside before Team Angle could grab him. He then scampered through the stands to the backstage area. Solid beginning of the build to Lethal Lockdown.

Backstage, Jeremy Borash was with LAX and Konnan in his wheelchair. Alex Shelley was in the group now with a slicked-back hair look. Konnan said they're like Google. When they sleep, their stock rises. Awesome. Konnan told "fat boy" Brother Ray that he might have put him in a wheelchair, but his time in the wheelchair isn't permanent unlike Ray's obesity. Konnan said LAX would take out Team 3D tonight. All is right with the world when Konnan has a mic.

[Commercial Break]

We came back with Kevin Nash and Alex Shelley standing in the ring, but they went backstage where Chris Sabin was on the Playstation. Bob Backlund was doing aerobics in the background. Sabin said he's god of the wrestling, so he can play video games all day. Backlund then interrupted and wanted to know why they were having a discourse without him. Borash explained they were just playing video games, which Backlund didn't appreciate. He said they should be training to go into battle. Sabin just stood there with a finger in his mouth, then Sabin went back to playing his games when Backlund left.

Back in the ring, Nash introduced a re-mix of Randy Savage's theme music. Tenay said Nash has been trying to get the X Division wrestlers some personality and get them "out of their shell." Nash, with his ever-changing hair, shook hands with Lethal, then Kaz of Serotonin came out for a match, followed by Lynn.

1 -- JAY LETHAL (w/Nash and Sonjay Dutt) vs. KAZ vs. JERRY LYNN

Early on, Kaz caught Lethal with an ace crusher when Lethal went for a springboard move. Lynn then caught Kaz with an inverted DDT, good for a two count when Lethal broke up the pin. Kaz came back with a roll up pin attempt on Lynn before catching Lethal with a German suplex all in one motion for a nearfall. They exchanged control before Lethal hit the Lethal Combination - a backbreaker into STO - on Kaz to win the match. After the match, Christopher Daniels hit the ring and took out Lethal. He then gave Lynn the Last Rites.

WINNER: Lethal in 3:00. Basic X Division match. Good action and a more deliberate pace than we're accustomed to from the X Division lately. (*)

Backstage, Borash interviewed Christian Cage and A.J. Styles. Christian made it official that Styles is his first partner. He said Styles will become a huge star in TNA by aligning himself with Christian. Styles didn't like that verbiage from Christian, and said he joined his team only because Christian said he would have a title shot. Borash whispered that Tomko has the same stipulation. Christian told Styles to keep that quiet. He then said they're going to find out the third member of Team Christian later tonight.

[Q3]

2 -- TEAM 3D (BROTHER RAY & BROTHER DEVON & BROTHER RUNT w/Johnny Rodz) vs. LAX (HERNANDEZ & HOMICIDE & ALEX SHELLEY w/Konnan)

Konnan joined commentary to discuss Tenay and TNA and Team 3D living in the past by continuing over Team 3D. Homicide worked on Ray's injured left arm from their PPV match. Ray then came back with a back elbow smash off the ropes and Runt hit a double-foot stomp on Homicide. Hernandez then ran into the ring and took a drop toe hold from Runt before Shelley pulled Runt to the outside and slammed him into the ring steps. The action began to break down on the outside before they cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

Back from the break, Shelley hit a frog splash on Runt, then Hernandez came off the top with a big splash on Runt. "That's how we do," Konnan said. He had a pin, but Devon broke it up. Tenay then announced a big six-man tag match for next week's show involving Christian's team and Angle's team. The action here broke down. Devon hit a power move, then Konnan said, "Krispy Kreme and Butterbean can do all the power moves they want," but they can't beat LAX. Hernandez then picked up Runt and press slammed him over the ropes on top of Rodz. Team 3D set up the diving headbutt on Shelley, which Konnan said should be a DQ because it's a low blow. They called for the tables, then the referee was distracted on the outside. Shelley took a 3D through the table in the ring, but the ref was still distracted. Konan then told the ref to do his job and get in the ring. With perfect timing, Hernandez rolled up Devon from behind and scored the pin.

WINNERS: LAX in 10:00. A good TV match. Pacing has been solid throughout the show, and this was a good example. Two thumbs up for Konnan on commentary. Tenay + Konnan = winning formula. (*1/2)

[Q4]

After the match, Konnan told Team 3D that they've beaten them in every type of match imaginably, so now they're just going to ruin their legacies. Ray held his head in shame as Konnan wrapped up his promo.

Backstage, Serotonin was assembled around Raven. He cut a promo with his mask on, which meant every other word was inaudible. He said he doesn't care about wins and losses. He only cares about inflicting psychological damage by making opponents feel pain like when their parents beat them as kids. Click. Raven told Bentley that he might disagree with his philosophy, but he needs to hit Kaz. Bentley refused, threw down his stick, then Raven slapped him repeatedly. Raven told Devine to hit him, then Devine dropped his stick. Raven caned him. Far worse than any Dungeon of Doom segment.

[Commercial Break]

Backstage, Borash said something crazy was happening in the men's locker room. He approached a stall and found Eric Young scrubbing a toilet. Young told Borash to help him get out of the contract with Robert Roode. Borash wanted to know who Young's friend is. He suggested calling him to help him out. Young pulled out his cell phone and started dialing a number, but Roode interrupted. He told Borash that Young is his property and if he wants to talk to Young, he needs to go through him. Like a TNA media interview? Roode told Young that things are only going to get worse.

We cut to the ring where Christian and Styles were standing for a promo. Christian then introduced the third member of Team Cage: Abyss. He came out, but he stopped short of joining Christian and Styles in the ring. Sting's music interrupted, then Sting showed up on the entrance ramp. Sting said Abyss is on his own team now. He said Abyss saw the light Sunday night and he's a new man. Sting said they still need to get the final piece of Abyss's past out of the way, but they can discuss that later. He told Abyss that all he needs to do is reach out and grab the opportunity. Christian cut him off and said that's a bunch of crap. He told Abyss that Sting doesn't care about him. Jim Cornette then interrupted and said he loves drama like everyone else, but he loves a good 'ole fashion wrestling match a little bit more. He booked Styles & Christian vs. Sting & Abyss on next week's show. Sting cut him off and said they shouldn't wait until next week. Sting and Abyss then hit the ring and cleared the heels to close a solid show.


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