by James Caldwell, PWTorch columnist

ECW TV on Sci-Fi Alternative Report
January 16 in Little Rock, Arkansas
Week 32 on Sci-Fi

We start with crowd shots of the fans in the same state where ECW ran its last show as a standalone company on Jan. 13, 2001. Justin Roberts introduced Kelly Kelly for a big return. Kelly walked out and Joey Styles said she recently became single after Mike Knox dumped her. Kelly reintroduced herself and said she's not afraid to show everyone what she has to offer. She said that since she's single again, the Kelly Expose is coming back next week and she's not going to be alone. Kelly began to offer a sneak peek, but Matt Striker interrupted in his too-tight-for-TV tights and sweater. Striker said she's dealt with Kelly's type before in his classroom. He said the expose is not approved curriculum as it pertains to studying the human anatomy. Striker said clinical studies indicate women have shorter feet so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink. He called her pumpkin and said class begins right now. Striker told Kelly to sit down and watch him take her crush and the reason for her break up, C.M. Punk, to school. Kelly was giggly as Punk posed in the ring before the match.

1 -- C.M. PUNK vs. MATT STRIKER. There was a brief "C-M-Punk" chant early on. They went to the mat as Kelly watched intently. Punk flipped Striker over the top rope to the floor at 4:00 and Kelly clapped as they cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

[Q2]

Striker had Punk in a leg vice out of the break. Kelly looked on with concern as Striker rubbed Punk's face into the mat. Punk then slung out of the hold and hit a double foot dropkick. Striker then pulled Punk into the corner and hit a charging kick to the face. Punk came back with repeated kicks to the face, then he ran him over with clotheslines. Punk hit the urinagi and made a cover for a nearfall. Kelly then got on the apron and distracted Striker with her Expose, allowing Punk to roll up Striker for the win. Afterward, Punk celebrated by himself on the outside as Kelly just stood around smiling at Punk. WINNER: PUNK IN 12:00. No one's buying this as a "comeback win" for Punk after losing to Holly last week. Striker hasn't been built up as a credible wrestler able to last 12 minutes and Punk continues to be handicapped by needing help to win matches.

They showed footage from last week of Test interfering during the Lashley-RVD Title match.

[Commercial Break]

They plugged Sandman vs. Elijah Burke tonight. Monty Brown then walked out as the Alpha Male Marquis Cor Von. He came out to some generic R&B music. In the ring was Cassidy Riley. Holy crap, it's an Impact squash match.

2 -- MONTY "MARQUIS COR VON" BROWN vs. CASSIDY RILEY. Riley slipped out of a suplex attempt, but Brown decked him with a right hand. Brown hit a double underhook suplex, then hit the Pounce. The fans popped for the Pounce. Tazz didn't know what to call it, though. There was a brief TNA chant before Brown rolled over Riley into a Fujiwara armbar for the tap out. WINNER: BROWN IN 2:00.

Afterward, Brown took the mic and the camera focused on his headset microphone sideburns ala The Rock. He said everyone is wondering what he's doing in ECW. He said he's doing anything that he wants. Brown said he came here to mark his territory and destroy and dismantle anything put in his path. He said everyone knows he's Marquis Cor Von, the Alpha Male. No acknowledgement of TNA or Brown's wrestling past, other than in generic terms, by Styles and Tazz.

Joey Styles then interviewed Bobby Lashley, who was backstage to discuss the triple threat title match. He went over the possible ways he could lose the title without being pinned. Lashley said he would walk in and walk out as champion. There was a sympathy clap live as he wrapped up.

[Q3]

[Commercial Break]

The WrestleMania Recall was Roddy Piper putting out Robert Downey Jr. with a fire extinguisher at WM 5.

The Sandman walked out through the crowd. They cut backstage where Rebecca interviewed Elijah Burke with Sylvester Terkay looking on approvingly.

3 -- THE SANDMAN vs. ELIJAH BURKE. Sandman caned Terkay off the apron before the bell rang, then Burke jumped Sandman to start the match. Burke took a back elbow smash followed by a DDT. Sandman came up wobbly and favoring his left side. He then crotched Burke in the corner, but Burke shoved Sandman to the mat. They went home early with Burke quickly rolling up Sandman and hooking the tights for the win. Sandman rolled around on the mat with some sort of injury as Burke walked off with Terkay. WINNER: BURKE IN 2:00. Odd finish with Sandman coming up lame.

They showed RVD doing some stretching exercises backstage.

[Commercial Break]

They showed footage of Tommy Dreamer taking a beating from Great Khali last week. Styles and Tazz then plugged the Royal Rumble match.

Kevin Thorn and Ariel shared a moment backstage discussing the love of a red rose and the pain of a black rose. Ariel said there would be 29 black roses at the Rumble and one red rose for the winner, Kevin Thorn. Thorn went for Ariel's neck with passionate kisses.

[Q4]

RVD walked out for the ECW Title match. Test followed out, then Lashley came out and jumped Test on the outside. They fought on the floor with Lashley throwing Test hard into the ringpost. He threw him back into the ring and the bell rang to start the match.

4 -- ECW champion LASHLEY vs. RVD vs. TEST -- ECW Title match. RVD quickly went for a pin on Test, but Lashley broke it up. Test then made a speedy recovery and knocked down Lashley. RVD pulled Test to the outside and airmailed a spin kick off the apron in the general vicinity of where Test was draped across the guardrail. RVD and Test then had a staredown in the ring, with Lashley landing a knock down shoulder tackle. He knocked Test off the apron, then covered RVD for a nearfall. Lashley telegraphed a back body drop and RVD kicked him in the stomach, but Lashley quickly ran over RVD with a clothesline. The fans booed. RVD came back with elbow smashes as they cut to a break.

[Commercial Break]

Back from break, Lashley was on the mat gasping for air. Test went for a suplex on Lashley, but he countered with a snap suplex. RVD then reeled off a series of thrust kicks on both opponents before making a cover on Lashley for a nearfall when Test broke up the pin. Test threw RVD to the floor, then he went up top, but Lashley cut him off. Test executed a superplex after fighting off Lashley, then RVD landed a double Rolling Thunder on both men. He jumped over Lashley and hit a Five Star frog splash on Test, who rolled out of the ring. Lashley then surprised RVD with a spear and hit a running powerslam for the win. WINNER: LASHLEY IN 11:00 TO RETAIN THE ECW TITLE. Tough match with two completely different styles in the ring. It's a strong political statement that RVD took the fall at the end of the program.

[Q5]

After the match, Test grabbed the ECW Title and held it from the referee. Lashley then went after Test, but Test surprised him with a hard belt shot to the forehead. Test clutched the belt with an evil look in his eyes as he stood over Lashley to close the show.

We welcome your 1-10 score and comments on this show for an "ECW Reax" feature in the Torch Feedback section of PWTorch.com. To contribute your thoughts on ECW TV, click here.

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