By James Caldwell, PWTorch columnist

ECW TV on Sci-Fi Alternative Report
December 16 in Boston, Mass.
Week 27 on Sci-Fi

[Q1]

We start with a recap of Lashley winning the ECW Title at the ECW PPV from what seems like eight months ago with so many PPVs lately. They showed Paul Heyman's final TV appearance from last week, setting up Lashley beating Big Show to retain the ECW Title.

Joey Styles and Tazz discussed Lashley vs. Heyman's enforcers later in the show ... RVD walked out and Styles set the stage for RVD-Test, pointing out that Test eliminated RVD from the Chamber match at the PPV.

1 -- RVD vs. TEST

Styles called RVD the most athletically unique athlete ever in sports entertainment. Let's decode that. In other words, he does a lot of aerial moves, but they don't always look pretty. RVD went for a pin early on following a standing moonsault. Test bailed to the outside and argued with the patrons ringside. RVD then flew through the ropes with a seated splash, drawn a chant of "R-V-D". Back in the ring, RVD missed with a shoulder block in the corner and ate post. RVD avoided a corner splash, then hopped up top for a moonsault, but Test shoved him hard off the top to the floor. Styles posed a question and we're off to a break.

[Commercial Break]

RVD blocked a top rope move by Test with a big boot and both men recovered on the mat. RVD straight kicked Test in the face with a standing sidekick followed by a thrust kick. He came back with a spin kick and another standing sidekick for a nearfall. RVD fired up and ran over Test with another spin kick in the corner. RVD did too much posing and ran into a hard clothesline out of the corner. RVD blocked a clothesline and crotched Test on the top rope. He then hit a top rope kick to the face followed by Rolling Thunder for a nearfall. RVD, looking better than I can remember in weeks, landed a kick to the head, then went up top and missed with the Five Star. Test went for a powerbomb, but RVD slipped out. He went for a sunset flip, but Test rolled through and hooked the ropes for the win when the referee turned his body away from RVD and didn't see the hook.

WINNER: Test in 11:00. That match was thousands of times better than I had any expectations for. RVD looked like he was wrestling with something to prove and he created movement for eleven minutes to keep the action hot throughout. Test wasn't any slouch in there, either. Good opener.

[END Q1 - THUMBS UP. Can't beat a good opening match with a back-story, time to develop, and a finish that keeps the babyface hungry for revenge.]

[Q2]

[Commercial Break]

Matt Striker was in the ring not dressed to wrestle. He was sporting a canary yellow dress shirt and a short Christmas tie. Striker gave us a brief history lesson on Boston's impact developing this country. He mentioned Red Auerbach and reminded everyone that he's dead. OK, too soon on that one. Striker ripped on Ted Kennedy and John Kerry. He said Bill Buckner couldn't even pick up the ball. Hooray for local promos! He mentioned Balls Mahoney to a big reaction. Balls walked out and Striker said Balls is a hero to these people. He said Balls has keen fashion sense and he reprents the fans with his hygiene habits. Striker made an odd joke, so Balls clotheslined him. He wound up for a Balls punch, but Striker kicked him in the Mahoneys. Striker stood over Balls and said, "What's the matter? Feeling a little...blue, Balls?" Tazz, ever the connoisseur of well-placed puns, said about Striker, "He bit off a little more than he could chew."

[Commercial Break]

Elijah Burke and Sylvester Terkay stood backstage. Burke did the talking and he called their team the Knock out/Tap out connection. KOTOC. Well, it's not the Pan-Am Connection ... C.M. Punk walked out for a match against Hardcore Holly.

[END Q2 - THUMBS IN THE MIDDLE. Nothing much of importance, but Striker is mildly entertaining, albeit the local promo was overbearing.]

[Q3]

2 -- C.M. PUNK vs. HARDCORE HOLLY

Punk snapped off a series of armdrags early on followed by a back elbow smash for a nearfall. They exchanged blows in the corner before Holly ripped off a hard clothesline. Punk ducked a clothesline and landed a swinging neckbreaker. He called for knee lifts and delivered a high kick in the corner. He scored with the urinagi, but he opted for a cover rather than the Anaconda Vice, resulting in a nearfall. Holly fired off repeated punches to the back of the head. The referee reached a five count and Holly kept counting, so Holly was DQ'ed. Holly didn't agree with the call, but then charged Punk in the corner. Punk avoided the move and put Holly in the Anaconda Vice. Holly tapped out repeatedly before Punk released the hold.

WINNER: Punk via DQ in 5:00. Just an odd match. The DQ kept Punk's winning streak alive and shows that Holly is a tough man. The crowd wasn't responsive and Punk continues to be an unintentional tweener after leaving Kelly hung out to dry the past few weeks and after being too aggressive after the match to get his heat back.

[Commercial Break]

Tommy Dreamer slowly walked out to the ring. They recapped his rough two weeks of taking beatings from Great Khali. Dreamer took the mic and said he's always been told he has more heart and guts than brain. He's a modern-day Scarecrow. He challenged Khali to walk out for a fight. Daivari led Khali to the ring and screamed at Dreamer before catching him with a microphone as Dreamer had his eyes on Khali. And here we go with Dreamer-Daivari III.

3 -- TOMMY DREAMER vs. DAIVARI (w/Great Khali)

Dreamer finished off Daivari with a DDT. Khali then dragged Dreamer to the outside and slammed him hard on the floor. Referees checked on Dreamer.

WINNER: Dreamer in 1:00. And the feud must continue.

[END Q3 - THUMBS DOWN. There were two wrestling matches, but one was booked oddly and the other kept a feud going that needed to end last week.]

[Q4]

[Commercial Break]

They recapped Mike Knox turning on Kelly Kelly last week. Tazz said that was disgusting, even if Kelly might have had it coming. Styles said there is evidence that Knox should have broken up with Kelly earlier, but his approach was wrong. He then said Kelly suffered a severe case of whiplash and he wished her a speedy recovery. See, that's what TNA dropped the ball on when Gail Kim took a Border Toss from Hernandez and she was off TV with no medical update for several weeks.

4 -- BOBBY LASHLEY vs. PAUL HEYMAN'S PERSONAL ENFORCERS (#1 & #2) -- non-title match

The PHPE's tried to sneak attack Lashley, but he cut off #1 with right hand blows. #2 then pulled #1 out of the way to avoid a corner splash. Lashley then smashed both with a double clothesline. He picked up #1 and gave him a vertical suplex for a nearfall when #2 broke it up. Lashley then press slammed #2 into #1. He grabbed #2 and tossed him across the ring. #1 smashed Lashley in the gut with a foreign object from outside the ring to cut off Lashley's momentum. #2 tagged in and went for a cover, but Lashley bench pressed him off before a one count. #1 then came in and worked the shoulder. #2 missed a corner shoulderblock and Lashley fired on both men with hard clotheslines. He then dropped #1 with a spear. #2 tried to use a nightstick, but Lashley tossed him to the outside. Lashley then gave #1 a dominator for the pin and the win.

Afterward, #2 tried to hit Lashley with a nighstick, but Lashley speared him and gave him the dominator. Lashley then picked up the nightstick and held it up in the air. He smashed it hard over #1's head and held up the stick as his music played.

WINNER: Lashley in 4:00. The intent was establish Lashley's power and dominance, but he was never in any legit jeopardy, so nothing really happened. Trying to keep track of #1 and #2 was like sitting at the ballpark and staring at the scoreboard trying to figure out where the can of beans is hiding under the glove.

[ENDQ4 - THUMBS IN THE MIDDLE. Just a maintenance, clean-up, reinforcement, not-much-happening main event.]

We welcome your 1-10 score and comments on this show for an "ECW Reax" feature in the Torch Feedback section of PWTorch.com. To contribute your thoughts on ECW TV, click here.

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