TV REPORTS CALDWELL'S IMPACT REPORT 8/3: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of show
Aug 3, 2006 - 11:07:00 PM
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By James Caldwell, Torch columnist
TNA Impact on Spike TV
August 3, 2006
Taped July 31 in Orlando, Florida
Report by James Caldwell, Torch columnist
- We start with clips from last week's Rhino-Samoa Joe main event where Monty Brown became involved. They also showed Christian Cage asking Sting if he could be in his corner at Hard Justice.
- Jeremy Borash was backstage with breaking news that Sting accepted Christian's offer to be in his corner at Hard Justice. Jeff Jarrett and Scott Steiner interrupted. Jarrett wanted to make sure he heard Borash correctly. "It's collusion; where's Cornette at?" Slick Johnson, right on cue, interrupted and said Cornette was holding another meeting with TNA wrestlers in the ring tonight. Jarrett wanted to know where Cornette is. Steiner threatened to punk out Slick. Nothing like Slick in the opening segment of the show to keep viewers hooked for 57 more minutes.
- Mike Tenay introduced the show. Moody Jack introduced LAX, who came to the ring with their DX-style music video intro. They replayed footage of Homicide's Cop Killer on Styles two weeks ago and Christopher Daniels being bloodied. Konnan took over color from Don West for the opening match.
1 -- LAX (HOMICIDE & HOTSTUFF HERNANDEZ) vs. CHASYN RANCE & JERRELLE CLARK
LAX jumped the designated enhancement talents and took them to the outside. Konnan ripped on TNA for taking a camera crew to California to film "Best of TNA" and LAX was not invited or part of the filming. After beating on the enhancements, Hostuff hit the Border Toss - running Edge - on Clark. Homicide hit the sick Cop Killer on Rance. They covered both men for the dual pin.
WINNERS: LAX in 1:00. Good squash match (oxymoron?) to set up LAX as a dominant team and give Konnan some mic time to establish the group's mission.
- Afterwards, Daniels and Styles appeared on the Impactron from backstage. Styles was sporting a neckbrace. That's called selling and putting over a finisher! Daniels challenged Homicide to a singles match next week. He said he would turn the 187 on Homicide then called him bitch. Konnan took the mic and said the tag belts were coming back to Latino Nation. That's called a heck of a segment.
- Jeremy Borash was backstage with Samoa Joe. Joe said both Monty and Rhino have issues to be resolved. Joe said Brown hates him because Joe took his spot. Joe said that just like his NFL career, Brown got to the big show and lost. The crowd oohed. Joe said it's become clear that at Hard Justice, he needs to add Brown and Rhino to the checklist of people he's beaten. He said they would know why he's been undefeated for 14 months. Always leaving you wanting more. Solid.
- Jarrett and Steiner were looking for Christian. They jumped Jay Lethal backstage.
- They aired a vignette on Bobby Roode. Simon Diamond, Shane Douglas, and Don West talked up Roode. Diamond said every manager in wrestling wants to be part of Roode. They built up Roode as the biggest free agent in wrestling. James Mitchell and Diamond were the interested parties in search of Roode's services.
- Shane Douglas was in the ring. He said AMW is an obstacle to The Naturals's success. He introduced the "newly Franchised Naturals." As they came out, they rolled footage of the AMW-Naturals six sides of steel cage match from 2004. Their hair is already growing back.
2 -- THE NATURALS (CHASE STEVENS & ANDY DOUGLAS) vs. AMERICA'S MOST WANTED (CHRIS HARRIS & JAMES STORM w/Gail Kim)
Tenay and West talked about the communication problems between AMW lately. Naturals double teamed Harris in the corner, slamming him multiple times into the corner turnbuckle. Storm blind tagged himself into the ring then caught Stevens and executed a double team side slam with Harris. Storm leap frogged Douglas then bumped into Harris. Douglas quickly rolled up Storm for the win.
WINNERS: The Naturals in 3:00. Short match that didn't really do much for The Naturals. Just more reinforcement of AMW's communication problems.
- After the match, Jarrett and Steiner attacked The Naturals from behind. They tossed them into the ring. AMW took care of the tandem with double team slams. Steiner cleared them back to the outside. Shane Douglas eventually returned to ringside to check on his team. Jarrett asked for Christian Cage to come to the ring.
- Steiner, Jarrett, and AMW were still in the ring. Zbyszko was out on stage sporting his black wig. Z said he just got off the phone with Cornette and it's his duty to relay some...or...de...rs. He said that if they do not com...pl...y with these or...de...rs, they would suffer the same fate as Earl Hebner in that they would be fi....re...d. Z said Ste...in...er would have to meet with Cornette in the ring tonight. Z said Cornette demands that Jeff Jarrett leave the building imm...ed...iate...ly. Jarrett's music hit and Chris Harris pleaded with Jarrett to leave the building so he wouldn't be fired. Jarrett slowly backed out of the ring then up the entrance ramp.
- Tenay and West discussed Sting-Jarrett at Hard Justice. Tenay introduced a sit-down interview he conducted with Sting as Steve Borden. Risky call. On Cornette, Sting said he's not going to point his finger at Cornette for not ending up with the NWA Title. He said he believes Cornette is making fair decisions so far. Tenay asked about Christian in his corner. Sting said Jarrett brought in Steiner to watch his back and no one else has stepped up to the plate to be in his corner other than Christian. He said he's glad Christian is in his corner. Tenay asked about Jarrett's words that if Sting doesn't beat him for the belt that Sting's run in TNA would be deemed a failure. Sting said Jarrett might be right. He said he has to back up what he's run his mouth about. He said he would love to walk away with the NWA Title, but what's almost more important is getting rid of Jarrett from TNA. Sting said he agrees with Jarrett that there's not enough room for the both of them in TNA. Delivery was a little rough as he wasn't in character, but they're doing a nice job adding something special that the match could be a retirement match for the loser on top of being for the NWA Title.
- Senshi did a pre-tape promo. He said five men would compete tonight to become #1 Contender to his X Division Title. He cut promos on Jay Lethal, Petey Williams, Sonjay Dutt, Kazarian, and Alex Shelley. He dared each man to take what's his.
3 -- JAY LETHAL vs. PETEY WILLIAMS vs. SONJAY DUTT vs. KAZARIAN vs. ALEX SHELLEY (w/Johnny Devine)
Lethal came to the ring selling the attack by Scott Steiner earlier in the show. In a touch, they included highlights of each man's finisher during his ring introduction. Shelley attacked Dutt before the opening bell. The action broke down then spilled to the outside. Dutt hit an obligatory highspot early on, hitting a flip splash onto all four men on the outside. They cut to a break.
Petey hung Dutt upside down in the corner for the O Canada crotch stand out of the break. Shelley tagged himself in and worked on Dutt. From the apron, Shelley hit a flip splash to Dutt's mid section. Kazarian tagged himself in then hit an arm drag on Dutt for a nearfall. Dutt made his comeback with clubbing blows. He went for a springboard moonsault, but Petey cut him off with a right hand. The action broke down in the ring then Lethal dropkicked three men as Petey hit a Russian Legsweep. Lethal hit a top rope diving headbutt for a nearfall. Dutt broke up a pin on Kazarian with a springboard moonsault. Shelley hit a sick combination double foot drop kick and reverse back cracker on Lethal. Out of nowhere, Petey caught Lethal with the Canadian Destroyer for the win.
WINNER: Petey in 6:00 to become #1 Contender. Good TV action. Just not enough personality development.
- Borash was in the parking garage area awaiting Cornette's arrival. Cornette popped out of a car. He wanted to know if Steiner was still around and if Jarrett was gone. Borash confirmed both. Eric Young approached Cornette. "What's your name?" Cornette asked. Young said he wanted a meeting to check on his job status. Cornette said he has fish to fry, but he would meet with Young next week. Cornette took off for the building. Christian popped out of Cornette's car. Borash was quizzical. Christian said he knows everything. Young wanted the scoop on his job. Christian said they were on the same page so he would try to change Cornette's mind. (About what?!) Young didn't quite catch on, but he muttered to Borash.
- Cornette was in the ring sporting a bright red jacket. That thing stood out. Wrestlers lined the two ring entrances. Cornette said he hasn't been on TV for the past few weeks because he doesn't believe in being on TV every minutes to get in the way of the wrestling like on other shows. Cornette addressed Hard Justice matches. He booked a four-way #1 Contender match to the tag titles between AMW, Kazarian & Bentley, The Naturals, and James Gang. He also booked Brother Runt vs. Abyss. Cornette said he had a match in mind that would sell tickets, Brown vs. Rhino vs. Samoa Joe in a Falls Count Anywhere in the building match. He addressed Shelley and Devine. He asked where Nash was. Cornette surmised that Nash thought the emergency meeting wasn't a real emergency. Cornette booked Dutt, Sabin, and Lethal against Shelley, Devine, and Nash next week. He said Nash's tongue would be hanging out of his mouth trying to keep up with the X Division wrestlers. He dismissed everyone except for Christian and Steiner.
Cornette booked a match for next week between the two. Cornette said each man would have an opportunity to help Jarrett or Sting by beating the bejeezus out of the other to where one of the NWA Title match participants might lose a corner man because of the beating one or the other could potentially take next week. Trust me, it made sense. Cornette said he was giving away the match on free TV and he expected ratings to soar through the roof. Eh. Steiner ripped the mic away from Cornette and cut a promo on Christian. He said Christian has two things wrong going for him. 1) He doesn't have the muscle or the strength to match him in a brawl. 2) He's from Canada. He said he would beat Christian back to the cesspool called Mexico North. "And I apologize to all of the Mexicans," he said. Goodness, Steiner is a great, believable heel. Christian ripped the mic away from Cornette, who did a nice job playing along here. Christian told Steiner to get the marbles out of his mouth because he couldn't understand a word he said. Christian told Steiner to bring his speech impediment, muscles, and Sir Lancelot headdress to Impact next week. Steiner simply flexed. They had a brief staredown, which would have been the perfect way to close the show. Instead, Christian walked out of the ring then a masked "fan" patted Christian on the back from the front row. Then, he grabbed Christian and pulled him over the guardrail. Steiner hopped the guardrail and they beat down Christian. The "fan" took off the mask to reveal Jeff Jarrett. They sent Christian into the side of the bleachers. The camera focused on Cornette seething in the ring. Jarrett, looking like a sophomoric, exuberant youth with the sweatshirt and mask, did his laughing scream directly into the camera. That was our final image. Just had to close on that note instead of letting the Christian-Steiner stare down appetizer carry over to next week.
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