WWE Velocity TV review
Aired November 24, 2002
Report by Robert Igoe, Torch Team Contributor

(1) Albert pinned Crash. Crash pulled a razor and a can of shaving cream out of his backpack (since when do wrestlers need backpacks? First Harvard Chris, now Crash?) to taunt Albert, then grabbed his body hair, only to get a backbreaker and a headbutt for his efforts. Crash ducked Albert's charge into the corner, then used a drop toe hold to smash Albert's face into the second turnbuckle. After a dropkick, Crash played to the crowd, allowing Albert to recover for a bicycle kick and a pin. Albert threw Crash out of the ring, but Crash snuck back in and smeared shaving cream on Albert's back. Albert responded with a baldo bomb that Crash really sold.

A review of the latest Angle-Benoit-Guerreros episode and a Raw Retro segment with Angle and his milk truck.

(2) Chuck Palumbo beat a jobber by submission. Would it be too much trouble for Cole and Loyd to stop trying to be cut-ups and shill products just long enough so that we get these people's names? A real pity, since this kid did give Chuck a good match, though it was mostly brawling. Meanwhile, the announcers are yakking back and forth about why they don't have entrance themes (God, I wish I was making that up), with Cole saying "People just boo me." What a shock. Chuck didn't really sell this kids' moves well, he actually looked as if he was smiling while he was being choked on the ropes. Chuck finally took over with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex, a discus punch and a reverse Boston Crab to get the tap out. This could be Chuck's new finishing hold and it looks pretty good.

(3) Bill DeMott pinned Danny Doring. This will probably appear on a later edition of TE3. DeMott's intensity and toughness was played up as he beat down Doring in the corner and taunted him. Doring tried to get in a few chops, but DeMott no-sold it and continued bullying Doring. Doring got some offense, including a roll-up for two, but DeMott quickly ended it with a clothesline. Doring punched out of a powerbomb, but ran into another. DeMott his his moonsault, but didn't go for the pin until he taunted Doring more. Finally got the pin.

TE3 review showed Nick getting cut. Finally Nick shows personality, and it turns out that he's a whiner and a jerk. I really don't see a clear winner yet.

Review of Lesnar-Big Show.

(4) Matt Hardy pinned Funaki. Both guys played to the crowd way too often with little action early on. Matt eventually took over with a beatdown until Funaki flipped him over the ropes and hit a plancha on the floor. Matt recovered to hit the side effect for a two count, then dropped Funaki on the top rope and hit a side suplex for two. Funaki powered out of a neck hold, ducked a splash in the corner and hit a billdog for two. Funaki hit a neckbreaker off the top rope for two, but Matt finished him off with the twist of fate for the win.

Again, get Michael Hayes, DDP, someone, to replace one of these announcers to keep the focus on the ring action.

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