TV REPORTS 9/5 WWE Raw Preview and Report: Mallory's "Virtual Time" Alternative Perspective Coverage
Sep 5, 2005 - 10:09:00 PM
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By Mallory Mahling, Torch Team Contributor
WWE Raw "Virtual Time" Alternative Perspective Coverage
September 5, 2005
Live from Nashville, Tennessee
Aired on Spike TV
Report by Mallory Mahling, Torch Team Contributor
Ongoing Alternative Perspective Review of the Show
Raw was live tonight from the Gaylord Entertainment Center in Music City USA--Nashville, Tennessee. According to WWE.com, this was the first televised Raw event in three years. Considering that show three years ago unleashed the specter of Katie Vick, it's no wonder they haven't been back in such a long time.
So what can we expect on tonight's show?
Although we were promised the Shawn Michaels/Chris Masters Master Lock Challenge last week, WWE dillydallied around and it will be tonight's highlight instead. And I use the term highlight loosely.
Also, Eugene will meet Kurt Angle in a rematch of their SummerSlam encounter. Last time Eugene tapped out. Will he meet the same fate tonight?
And when last we saw Edge and Matt Hardy, they were being carted off to a "medical facility." Hopefully we'll get an update on their condition tonight.
Jim Ross, Jerry "The King" Lawler, and Jonathan Coachman welcomed viewers to the show.
Kurt Angle and Eugene kicked off the show with a rather one-sided match.
(1) Kurt Angle over Eugene via submission. Angle attacked like a pit bull and Eugene was in a world of hurt. (In the spirit of the holiday, Angle was wearing a red, white and blue mouth guard.) Eugene finally had enough and gave Angle a sick spinebuster. J.R. said Eugene must be channeling Jim Duggan. Duggan or not, Eugene submitted to an Ankle Lock.
After the match Angle dished out more punishment to Eugene's ankle. Suddenly, John Cena ran down to the ring to rescue Eugene. Seconds later, Cena could have used a rescue himself, as Tyson Tomko flattened him with a big boot to the face. Seems like Tomko and Angle are cahooting these days.
Backstage, Angle and Eric Bischoff told Tomko how pleased they were with his actions. Bischoff rewarded him with a match with John Cena later in the show.
(2) Viscera & Val Venis over The Heart Throbs (Anthony and Romeo). Romeo and Val Venis started things off, as Viscera took off his bathrobe to reveal satin jammies. (Viscera needs a bra, by the way.) Venis with a reverse suplex, followed by a tag to Big Vis. It was almost curtains for Romeo, but Viscera missed a splash. Anthony concentrated on Val's knee, then the HT's double-teamed him. Val tried his best to crawl over to make a hot tag and finally did it. Big back body drops to the HT's by Vis, but he got double boots when he stacked them up in the corner and charged at them and they kicked back. Viscera squashed the HT's like a bug a short time later, then he and Val did a little bump and grind to celebrate.
It was time for highlights of past episodes Masterpiece Theatre. And I don't mean "The Mayor of Casterbridge" or "The Forsyte Saga."
Linda McMahon made an appeal for viewers to donate to AmeriCare.org to assist in the relief efforts for victims of Hurricane Katrina.
Carlito came out for Carlito's Cabana. This week's guest was Diva Search winner Ashley Massaro. She was dressed like one of the Olsen Twins again. Carlito greeted her by mispronouncing her name "Assley." She corrected him. Then he told her that he thought with a quarter of a million dollars she'd have gotten a makeover. When he criticized her hair, she remarked on his own need for a new do. As expected, he got huffy. He took credit for beating up Ric Flair last week because he'd insulted Carlito and said bad things happen to people who diss Carlito.
Carlito reminded Ashley of last week's attack by Victoria. Tonight Ashley would be facing Torrie Wilson, one-on-one. Bring it on, said Ashley. Carlito mocked Ashley's bravado, then took a big bite of apple.
Whoohoo! Before Carlito could even chew up the apple, Ric Flair came down the ramp with his head bandaged from last week's beating. He grabbed Carlito's "Little Carlito" and wouldn't let go. Then he gave him a low blow. Carlito was dumped out of the ring, along with a barrel of his apples. Flair told Carlito he'd take him to school at Unforgiven. And while he was at it, he'd become the Intercontinental Champion. Whoo!
Time for one more episode of Masterpiece Theatre. All in all, I'd rather see episodes of "Upstairs Downstairs."
Cade and Murdoch were at Tootsie's, a legendary lounge in Nashville, to cut a promo. Murdoch reminds me so much of a young Dusty Rhodes.
Last week Edge and Matt Hardy had engaged in a street fight which landed them both in a hospital.
Matt entered Bischoff's office (looking none the worse for wear except for a band aid). Bischoff fussed at him for putting the company at risk and insisted that Matt sign a release. That was fine with Matt. Then Bischoff told him he'd be fighting Snitsky. Next.
(3) Gene Snitsky pinned Matt Hardy. Matt came out in his street clothes, limping when he remembered to sell last week's injuries. Snitsky made his entrance, then Edge's music started. Edge and Lita came out and sat down on the announce desk, right in front of the announcers. Edge was a little more bandaged up than Matt. His injuries didn't affect his voice, since he yammered his way through the match. Snitsky beat the snot out of Hardy, then pinned him for the win. Snitsky picked up the ring bell and was poised to smack Matt over the head with it.
"Wellllll, it's the Big Show." Snitsky stopped and thought about it, then clobbered Matt with the ring bell before fleeing from Big Show, who is not very fast on his feet.
Earlier tonight, Tomko had given John Cena a concussion. But they'd be fighting later anyway.
J.R. showed members of the 101st Airborne from Ft. Campbell, Kentucky, who were in the crowd.
(4) John Cena pinned Tyson Tomko. Cena started the match the second he got into the ring. He was full of fury and got an early near fall. Tomko's offense kicked in and he leveled Cena with a huge clothesline. But Cena was tenacious and gave Tomko an F-U and pinned him for the win.
As Cena stopped to salute his fans at the top of the ramp, Angle attacked him from behind. Angle was ruthless. "Somebody stop him," wailed J.R. But, of course, nobody did and Angle finished off Cena, then taunted him with the title belt.
Todd Grisham chased Angle down a hallway for an interview and asked if he had a pattern to his attacks on Cena. Duh! Angle said that at Unforgiven, he'd "take Cena's ass to school."
Lots of "going to school" at Unforgiven apparently.
Torrie Wilson came out with Victoria and Candice for her match with Rookie Diva Ashley.
(5) Torrie Wilson pinned Ashley Massaro. This ought to be the finest technical match on the show. Just kidding. Neither one of these competitors has the first clue about a wrestling match. It was a hair-pulling match designed to show off butt cheeks and cleavage. Torrie won with a face drop and a pin after Victoria had pummeled Ashley on the outside. Enough said.
Yet another episode of Masterpiece Theatre. Ugh!
Linda McMahon's appeal for hurricane aid was repeated.
(6) Rob Conway vs. Shelton Benjamin. Before the match could start, Kerwin Blanco rolled out in his golf cart. With Benjamin distracted by the Golf Channel's future superstar, Conway got an early advantage. Good action in the ring, but it was taking a backseat to Kerwin and his white middle-class gimmick.
Benjamin came off the top rope and nearly pinned Conway. Then Kerwin whacked Shelton in the knee with a golf club (a la Tanya Harding) and Conway got the win. As Kerwin drove back up the ramp, Benjamin seethed.
After the quality of wrestling we've seen on tonight's show, an action-packed TNA commercial made this show look somewhat lacking.
Mick Foley was shown at Barnes & Noble pitching his new book, "Scooter."
"Stand back, there's a Hurricane coming through." Go ahead, rub it in, regardless of whether or not it's in good taste. Perhaps they could have placed this match closer to Linda McMahon's pleas for assistance to storm victims.
(7) Tag Team Match: Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch vs. Hurricane and Rosey. This was the debut of the boot scooters. At first Rosey and Hurricane slammed Murdoch around the ring. Cade and Murdoch teamed up on Rosey and kept him isolated from Hurricane. Cade looked especially good at times. Rosey slammed Cade off the top, then Hurricane tagged in. He was fresh and came off the top with a drop kick to Murdoch. Cade and Rosey took their battle to the outside. Murdoch with an unsteady bulldog off the top rope to pin Hurricane, and the new guys on the block took the win.
Another episode of Masterpiece Theatre. Will Shawn Michael be just another victim? (I know, that's borrowing from another gimmick, but then so is this "narcissistic" musclehead gimmick.)
Todd Grisham introduced Chris Masters, who rudely interrupted Grisham to brag on himself. Last week he'd put Ric Flair in the Master Lock and prevailed. Masters called for the beautiful bean footage of this accomplishment.
(7) Master Lock Challenge: Chris Masters vs. Shawn Michaels. Masters has been overexposed on tonight's episode (in more ways than one). The crowd was chanting for HBK, and he obliged them with a nice long version of his entrance.
After a good bit of hemming and hawing, Masters locked on the hold. Michaels could not break the hold, but he refused to give up. Masters grew impatient and dropped HBK face first onto the mat. Masters got a steel chair and hit Michaels in the forehead with it. Michaels fell to the mat and Masters picked him up, reapplied the Master Lock, and deemed himself victorious.
The show ended with HBK, his face a bloody mess, lying motionless on the mat.
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