TV REPORTS KELLER'S SMACKDOWN REPORT 9/1: Rey vs. Orton, Benoit vs. Jordan, Heidenreich vs. Mercury
Sep 5, 2005 - 2:12:00 PM
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By Wade Keller, Torch editor
SEPTEMBER 1, 2005
TAPED TUESDAY IN JACKSONVILLE, FLA.
-Michael Cole and Tazz introduced the show and previewed the top matches briefly.
1 -- HEIDENREICH (w/Animal) vs. MERCURY (w/Nitro, Melina)
Cole acknowledged Hurricane Katrina, saying Heidenreich hasn't had a chance to return to New Orleans, his hometown. Cole said their thoughts and prayers went out to everyone "suffering through this terrible time in New Orleans." Cole plugged that Smackdown moved to Friday night next week and that LOD would defend against MNM. Heidenreich won a forgettable match with a sitout powerbomb type move. Animal cleared the ring of the heels afterward. Melina got trapped between Animal and Heidenreich, then Heidenreich was about to give her the Doomsday Device when Mercury and Nitro made the save. MNM threw Animal shoulder-first into the steel steps, then they double-teamed Heidenreich inside the ring as Melina cheered on. MNM gave Heidenreich the Snapshot. Cole said if MNM connect with that next week, they'll have new tag champs.
WINNER: Heidenreich at 3:40.
STAR RATING: 1/2*
-Jillian hall guaranteed Palmer Canyon that MNM would win the tag belts next week. He said that is TV that will change Friday nights. He pointed at her tumor, but then brushed past it to compliment her earring. Stacy Keibler and Christy Hemme walked up to him. He nicely said Standards and Practices didn't want them scantily clad, so he had to stop their segment last week. He said they'd be wrestling each other later, though, fully clothed in regular wrestling gear.
-Bob Orton introduced Randy Orton as the man who killed the legend of the Undertaker. Randy said his father was right when he told him as a child he'd be a legend killer as an adult. Randy plugged that there is an Undertaker DVD that he and his father have personally signed which they can bid on tonight. He said he will match the highest bid and all the proceeds will go to the retirement fund of Undertaker. He said later he will wrestle Rey Mysterio, who unlike his father, lies to his children. He said after his match later, Rey would have to lie to his son when his son asks if he beat the Legend Killer. Better than average Orton promo.
-Cole asked if Orlando Jordan can last longer than 25 seconds against Chris Benoit.
-Josh Matthews interviewed Benoit about whether he could beat his record against Jordan. Benoit asked Josh what he can do in 25 seconds. Benoit gave Josh a stopwatch and then walked into the bathroom and a few seconds later flushed. He walked out at 23.4 seconds. "I win again, not to mention I feel much better," said Benoit, indicating he went to the bathroom in that time.
2 -- CHRIS BENOIT vs. ORLANDO JORDAN
WINNER: Benoit at 0:22 via tapout to the Crossface.
STAR RATING: n/a -- They didn't go to a reaction shot of Jordan, instead focusing on Benoit celebrating inside the ring.
3 -- STACY KEIBLER vs. CHRISTY HEMME
Sylvain interrupted the match a few seconds in and said he's sexier than them. Hardcore Holly came out and told them "like every man in this audience," he was waiting for those two hot women to wrestle. Sylvain called Holly "Bobby, Bobby, Bobby." Holly punched him and Sylvain bailed out. That sets up the opening match at house shows for the next two months.
-Teddy Long congratulated the network executive on a great line-up for next week's show - MNM vs. LOD and JBL vs. Batista. Canyon said he turned the JBL vs. Batista match into a bullrope match. He said it was JBL's idea. He added that he gave him the night off. Long asked the exec to consult him from now on regarding any decisions. The exec said it's a team effort. Long said he hears him, which is why he's booked Rey Mysterio vs. Eddie Guerrero in a cage. The exec said that is TV that is changing Friday nights.
4 -- BOOKER T (w/Sharmell) vs. MR. KENNEDY
Christian, with his nose taped, joined Cole and Tazz at ringside. Kennedy insulted the ring announcer and then did his own drawn out ring introduction. Christian said he can't breathe through one of his nostrils. At 6:30, as Booker hit the Spinaroonie and then went to the top rope, Sharmell got in Christian's face at ringside. She said she didn't know what he was saying, but she was going to straighten him out. Booker was distracted when Christian stood up to confront his wife. Kennedy took advantage and hit his front flip fireman's carry slam for the win. Kennedy announced himself as the winner afterward.
WINNER: Kennedy at 6:59.
STAR RATING: * -- Okay action, but there's nothing particularly remarkable about Kennedy's in-ring style.
-Simon Dean rolled to the ring on an electric scooter. Tazz said that word on the street is that Cole was driving around the Village on one of those. Cole said the rumor wasn't true, but he's heard they're fun to drive. Simon said his system worked on Batista, except unfortunately it doesn't make him smarter. He said his system could help Tony Chimmel, "the round mound of sound."
5 -- BATISTA vs. SIMON DEAN
Batista walked out and said he cannot remember using the Simon System. He said he is open-minded and would like to try it. He took a few sips and then said he feels bigger and stronger. Simon said, "I told you it was good stuff." Batista put his arm around Simon and said he also feels more aggressive. He gave Simon a hard clothesline and beat him with a Batista Bomb. He pinned him with his foot on Simon's chest while posing with the Simon System drink.
WINNER: Batista at 1:26.
6 -- WILLIAM REGAL & PAUL BURCHILL vs. SCOTTY 2 HOTTY & FUNAKI
Burchill has a body most similar to Val Venis or Triple H. Cole talked about his background in England. Burchill made Scotty submit after a shoulderbreaker and what Tazz called a variation of the Fujiwara armbar.
WINNER: Regal & Burchill at 3:38.
STAR RATING: 3/4* -- Burchill has a solid presence and look. His in-ring debut was solid.
-Cole said Rey vs. Orton was "next."
-They ran down the line-up for the debut of Friday Night Smackdown.
-They went to a promo of Eddie Guerrero standing behind a cage wall. He said at Summerslam when his wife pushed the ladder, he realized something. She wasn't just pushing the ladder to save his family because when he looked into her eyes, he realized that Rey had gained his family and lost his. "I lost my kids, I lost my wife, I lost everything!" he said with increasing intensity and volume. He said he could sit there and blame Rey, "but you know what Rey, it's not. It's my fault. Its my fault that I lost everything 'cause I had you so many times. I had you at the edge of defeat, but I toyed with you and wanted to make you suffer. I made a mistake. I made the mistake of giving you a chance, Rey. I'm not gonna make that mistake again... How can you beat someone who's already lost everything?" He came across creepy and on the brink of snapping. Very good, deliberate delivery.
-Randy Orton's ring introduction took place.
7 -- RANDY ORTON (w/Bob Orton) vs. REY MYSTERIO
Nearly 16 minutes after Cole first said Rey vs. Orton "was next," the bell rang to start the match. Orton knocked Rey out of the ring, then looked to Bob for approval. He was cocky early, manhandling Rey. At 1:45 Rey reversed momentum with a flying head scissors. Orton chased Rey, but Rey outmaneuvered him and then mocked him. Orton showed frustration. Rey went on sustained offense until Orton surprised him with a kick to the gut. He then slid Rey out of the ring under the bottom rope at 3:15.
Orton had Rey in a chinlock. Cole and Tazz continued to plug next week's PPV-calliber line-up. Orton remained in control, including another long chinlock, until Rey's comeback at 12:00. Both men were down at 13:00. Orton came off the ropes toward Rey, but Rey caught him with a boot to the face. Orton happened to fall over the middle rope. That left him open to a 619, but Rey couldn't capitalize. Rey hit a crossbody instead for a two count. At 17:00 Rey did hit the 619. Bob held Rey's leg as he went for the Drop the Dime. When Rey finally did execute it, the ref was distracted by Bob as Randy gave Rey a low-blow in mid-air. Orton finished off Rey with an RKO from the top rope.
WINNER: Orton at 18:04.
STAR RATING: ***1/4 -- Good TV match.
-Cole ended with another plug for Friday Night Smackdown.
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