Paul Madavi, Torch Team Contributor

WWE Smackdown review
May 26th, 2005
Taped 05/24/05 in Milwaukee, WI
Aired on UPN
Report by Paul Madavi, Torch Team Contributor

This Week’s Episode: The Aftermath

Tonight’s show begins with a video recap of Judgment Day’s main event, which concludes with Cena holding both the old and new WWE Championship, his face and chest covered in blood.

The show kicks off with Carlito’s Cabana. Carlito and Matt Morgan make their way to the ring. Carlito welcomes everyone to the Cabana. He declares Judgment Day cool. He introduces himself as the man who made the biggest impact on the PPV. Tonight, he is his own guest. He cuts an effective promo, lauding his victory over Big Show and Matt Morgan’s helping hand. They ran several replays of Morgan giving Big Show the F5. Carlito starts going nuts over how cool they both are.

General Manager Teddy Long then makes his way out to the ring. He’s got a word or two for Carlito. Teddy Long says Carlito is running his mouth about a victory he didn’t earn. Long tells Morgan that physical contact will result in a s-s-s-suspension. Morgan goes apesh*t. Long then books a winner’s choice Battle Royal. The winner gets a match against anyone of his choice. Carlito says he’s in. He then books Carlito and Big Show for later tonight. Long dances all the way back.

[Commercial Break: These new Click It or Ticket ads make getting tickets from a cop for not wearing your seatbelt seem fun and exciting.]

Backstage, Rey Mysterio gears up, while Josh Mathews interviews him. What Josh says is not important, because it’s not about Akio, or his new movie. However, what Rey says is important. He says Eddie should’ve taken his life, because now nothing will stop him from making Eddie pay. Rey’s going to be in the battle Royal for a shot at Eddie.

(1) Hardcore Holly and Charlie Haas defeat MNM (Mercury and Nitro, with Melina). MNM make their god-awful terrible entrance once again. We’ve got the winy guitar music, the fake paparazzi, and a mildly attractive piece of over inflated eye candy. No thanks. Haas and Holly make their entrance, some people in the crowd actually remember who these guys are.

Mercury starts off against Hardcore Holly. Nitro immediately comes in for a cheap shot. He whips Hardcore Holly into a corner, and charges at him. Holly moves out of the way. When Mercury comes off the ropes, Holly nails him with a back suplex for a two count. Nitro gets up and delivers an elbow. He whips Hardcore Holly into the corner, and chops him twice loudly. They replay the same spot, with Holly coming out on top. Holly deals briefly with Nitro, allowing Mercury recovery time. Holly gets off his abdomen kick, and then a big stomp. Haas tags in, and immediately starts working on Mercury’s arm. Mercury moves Haas back into Nitro. Nitro tags in, and is quickly monkey-flipped by Haas. He then delivers a standing dropkick for a two count. Haas slides out of the ring after being whipped. He trips Mercury, and then runs back in at Nitro, hitting an inverted atomic drop. He uses the ropes, but is tripped up by Mercury.

[Commercial Break]

Haas goes for a sunset flip, but Nitro tags in. He nails Haas with a kick, and then a European uppercut. He applies a headlock, but Haas elbows out, and hits a hard clothesline. Mercury gets a knee to Haas’s back, and then Nitro gains control. Mercury is tagged in, and the hit a double gut buster. Mercury then hits a fisherman suplex for a two count. He rises up and nails Haas with a clothesline. Nitro tags in and stomps away at Haas. He applies another headlock, but Haas elbows out. Haas attempts to escape, but Nitro drags him back in his corner where all kinds of cheating goes on. Melina even slaps Haas at one point. This leads Holly flying out of the ring after Melina, and Mercury and Nitro in the ring with Haas. Holly chases them out. Eventually, everything settles itself, and Mercury and Nitro are still in control. Haas surges, hitting a belly-to-belly suplex. He dives to tag in Hardcore Holly. Holly surges on MNM, demolishing the both of them. He takes a diving clothesline, taking out both Mercury and the ref. He hits an Alabama slam, but there’s no ref to count. Nitro then comes in with a steel chair. He brains Holly, and ref Nick Patrick sees it and calls the DQ.

After the match, Haas chases them away with the steel chair, and the DQ is announced.

The Breakdown

Psychology: It was a by the numbers WWE tag team wrestling match, with a by the numbers WWE finish. However, they pulled it off well. The heels were very effective in with their cheating tactics and ring-presence. Haas did a wonderful job through out the match. Holly does well as a punishing bruiser.

Action: On par with WWE TV as of late, the match was nothing special. However, it was solid and well executed. MNM seem to pull something new out every week, and have a great sense of being an actual team. Haas sold like a champ, and it helped MNM quite a bit.

Entertainment: It was overall an entertaining match. The story might have been well recycled, but the execution was good. They kept the pace up, even during the heel dominated part of the match. The heel face dynamic in any MNM match tends to be very strong.

[Commercial Break]

Backstage, Steve Romero interviews Booker T and Sharmell T. They quickly show footage of Sharmell slapping the hell out of Kurt Angle. Booker T and Sharmell talk each other up. Booker T will be in the Battle Royal for a shot at the title. Can you dig that, sucker? I didn’t think so.

John Cena makes his way to the ring to a standing ovation. Numerous signs pronounce admiration for Cena, or his various Cenaisms. Also, they tell me who is gay. Apparently, it’s some guy named Peter. The ovation lasts for well over two minutes. The crowd then chants his name. Cena gives a choked-up promo about all he’s accomplished, because of and for the fans. It’s so predictable I wrote that last sentence before he even started talking. He then pronounces that the champ is here. The crowd goes buck wild. Cena then gives a holla out to his good friend JBL, who sure did get his come-uppance. He runs down JBL for quitting. He then says he has something for JBL. This prompts JBL’s limo to charge out of the backstage area. JBL comes out of the limo wearing a suit and a bandaged forehead.

JBL slowly makes his way to the ring. Very slowly. To his defense, it’s about as entertaining as a very slow entrance to the ring by a white guy in a suit is going to get. JBL says he does not make excuses, and that is why he has been successful in life. He says he has never failed, until this past Sunday. JBL says he has beaten everybody, but he didn’t beat Cena. He says he’s not sure he can. JBL says Cena is the man, for now. People like him can be great for a short time, but they eventually self destruct. He says he’ll be there to take the title when it happens. He says it will be his legacy.

Cena says the fans are the ones who decide what a wrestler’s legacy is. Cena says he lives like there’s no tomorrow, because he’s a soldier. Something else. . . just Cena. Anyway, he says he has something for JBL. He put together a tribute video for JBL. JBL then pleads for Cena to roll the video. Cena obliges after some hemming and hawing.

The video, of course, mocks JBL for quitting. It shows the clip of him quitting over and over again. Cena says JBL is the most celebrated quitter in WWE history.

[Commercial Break]

(2) Big Show defeats Carlito (w/ Matt Morgan). Carlito and Morgan make their way to the ring first. Big Show then makes his way to the ring. He’s licking his lip, for some reason.

Big Show wastes no time going after Carlito. The bell rings, and Big Show starts chopping Carlito in the corners. He nails Carlito in the back, and then hits a clothesline. He steps over on Carlito’s chest. Big Show hits a big boot on Carlito. Show works the ropes and Morgan tries to trip him. The ref, Charles Robinson, sees it and sends Morgan to the back. Carlito is left to face Big Show alone. Show slaps the hell out of Carlito’s chest. Show goes for a choke slam, but Carlito rakes the eyes. He then ducks a big boot attempt, which hangs Show’s leg on the ropes. Carlito takes over with a missile drop kick. Show then takes a couple of running kicks, before rising up for the choke slam on Carlito and the pin.

After the match, Morgan charges Big Show knocking him out of the ring. He whips show into the steel post, and then clears the announce table. He hits an F5 on Big Show through the announce table. Big Show is left lifeless, and Carlito is impressed.

The Breakdown

Psychology: The match psychology wasn’t really that special. It was kind of a bland match. However, the psychology of Morgan doing an F5 is very interesting. I wonder if it represents an open door, or a closed one for Lesnar.

Action: The action was okay. Big Show provided up with his usually entertaining frying pan chest slaps. Carlito didn’t really do anything but bump.

Entertainment: Fairly entertaining. The post match F5 was really the most impressive thing about the segment.

[Raw Recap]

Backstage, Kurt prepares for his Kurt Angle Invitation segment.

[Commercial Break]

Now it’s time for another Kurt Angle Invitation segment. As you know, KAI is the most pointless, yet most beloved segment of this particular reviewer. My Olympic hero elucidates on his feels about losing to Booker T. He conjectures that Sharmell T is a prostitute. For some reason, Kurt Angle puts down the ECW idea. This starts large ECW chants. Kurt says ECW can kiss his @ss. He calls it garbage. He then says he’s going to have a bunch of Smackdown volunteers go to the show to ruin it. He then tells Tazz he’s going to bounce around his ECW buddies, just like Heyman bounces around checks. Tazz takes his shades and headset off and stares at Angle. Kurt then addresses his opponent, Robert, whom he immediately sucker punches and out of whom kicks the hell. Robert taps like a woodpecker to end it.

Kurt then grabs the microphone again, saying he had fun, and that now that he’s warmed up, to start the Battle Royal.

(3) Kurt Angle wins the winner’s choice Battle Royal Heidenreich makes his way to the ring first. Carlito then makes his way, with Matt Morgan.

[Commercial Break]

When we return, Booker T is making his way to the ring, which is already full. Rey Mysterio makes his entrance, but is run down from behind with a steel chair. He then beats the crap out of Mysterio with the steel chair. A number of refs come down to get Eddie away from Mysterio. Mysterio is taken back, and Eddie enters the match. The Battle Royal begins and everyone is punching. Guerrero leaves the ring through the bottom rope, and just watches the match. His nose is busted open. Funaki is eliminated by Angle (1). Mercury is eliminated by Billy Kidman. Akio workers over Booker T. Matt Morgan keeps Carlito from being eliminated. Akio is eliminated by Booker T. Heidenreich works Jindrak over. Jindrak is eliminated by Heidenreich.

[Commercial Break: Eagles The Very Best Of sucks.]

During the break, Nitro was eliminated by The Bashams. Nunzio attempts to toss Orlando Jordan. Carlito is foot choking Booker T. Billy Kidman is eliminated by Hardcore Holly. Heidenreich is eliminated by Kurt Angle (2) via back toss. Chavo is stomping away at Scotty 2 Hotty. Scotty 2 Hotty is almost eliminated, but crawls back in. Chavo is eliminated by Scotty 2 Hotty. Charlie Haas and Kurt Angle go at each other. Charlie Haas is eliminated by Kurt Angle, his second of the night. Carlito is eliminated by Booker T. Scotty 2 Hotty is eliminated by Eddie Guerrero, nice touch. Hardcore Holly is eliminated by Kurt Angle (3) and Eddie Guerrero. Rey Mysterio then charges into the ring and pummels Eddie. He is doubled by Jordan, allowing Eddie to gain control. Eddie Guerrero is eliminated by Mysterio. Rey must be dragged back into the ring by officials. Eddie walks away.

[Commercial Break]

Six Superstars remain: Kurt angle, The Bashams, Orlando Jordan, Booker T, and Rey Mysterio. Kurt Angle and Danny Basham work on Booker T’s legs. Then Doug joins the fun. Meanwhile, Rey almost eliminated Jordan. Booker T is almost eliminated, but he hangs on the bottom rope. He then gets up and clotheslines Angle. He surges on all the heels. He super kicks Orlando Jordan. He clotheslines Angle. He plants a spinebuster on each of the Bashams. Orlando Jordan then attacks him, and the numbers game gets to Booker T. Angle then beats on Mysterio. Booker T ducks a double clothesline to deliver one of his own on the Bashams. Doug Basham, Danny Basham, and Orlando Jordan are consecutively eliminated by Booker T. Booker T is immediately eliminated by Kurt Angle (4).

Angle stalks Rey Mysterio. They circle the ring, Mysterio somehow opens up a can of whoop ass on Kurt Angle. However, Kurt picks him up on his shoulders, with an inverted double leg toss. Damn. Kurt tosses Rey over the rope, but Mysterio hangs on to the rope and cannot be eliminated. Angle nails a straight suplex. He unloads vicious punches. Rey is whipped, and he rolls through the sunset flip attempt for a dropkick. Kurt is almost eliminated twice by Rey. Mysterio goes for a 6-1-9, but Angle ducks. Angle crawls over with a single leg ankle takedown. He then applies the ankle lock. Mysterio taps a few times. Kurt then gut wrenches Rey onto the ropes and re-applies the ankle lock. He tells Rey to climb out. Rey flips, sending them both on the apron. They battle on the apron. Kurt Angle attempts a suplex of the apron, but Rey reverses and lands in the ring. He kicks Kurt’s feet out from under him. Angle dangles dangerously close to elimination, but pulls himself into the ring. He clotheslines Mysterio. Kurt lifts Rey onto his shoulder, and runs, attempting to toss him out of the ring. Rey reverses though, and Kurt almost dives clear over the top rope. He manages to catch himself on the apron twice more. He kicks Mysterio, and unloads some punches. Mysterio recovers with punches of his own. Mysterio is caught of the ropes with a belly-to-belly suplex. Kurt stalks Mysterio again. Kurt goes for a spear, but is dropped to the ropes by Mysterio’s toe. Mysterio hits the 6-1-9. He goes to drop the dime. Kurt delivers an uppercut to Mysterio’s diving groin. He then Angle slams him out of the ring. Rey Mysterio is eliminated by Kurt Angle (5).

After the match, Kurt says that John Cena is a lucky guy. He’ll have next week off. Kurt Angle chooses to wrestler SHARMELL T!!!

The Breakdown

Psychology: Well, that was a very well scripted match. The final six eliminations told a very interesting story. The pairing of Angle and Mysterio, rather than Guerrero, added tension to the Mysterio/Guerrero storyline, while still delivering a very impressive finish to the Battle Royal.

Action: Pretty good for a Battle Royal. The first half was pretty forgettable, but the second half was very strong. The spots felt fresh, the action was crisp, and wrestlers went hard. I had the feeling that Mysterio and Angle were leaving it all on the mat.

Entertainment: A good storyline backed up by great action. It found it to be one of the more entertaining Battle Royals I’ve witnessed.

Overall Breakdown

Psychology: Smackdown continues to show consistency. They’ve steadily been building their current feuds for well over a month now. They’re all still pretty hot angles, and if the booking continues to be this consistent, Smackdown has some very good times ahead of it.

Action: There were only three matches, but the total action time was actually substantial. Furthermore, the hard work put into the Battle Royal made for some very good action. MNM have been very good at delivering in the ring. The show benefits greatly from their addition. Get them a better entrance.

Entertainment: MNM and Carlito did their best to keep up a potentially weak first half of the show. The second half of the show was bolstered by the very good Battle Royal. Overall, it was a very enjoyable show.

Paul Madavi writes his reviews from Madison, WI where the beer is fresh, and the cheese is aged. If you’d like to respond to any of the content above, please email him and make eventful his otherwise boring existence. And make sure to check out The Submission Position tomorrow in The Lounge!

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