WWE Smackdown review
April 21, 2005
Taped 4/18/05 in New York City, NY
Aired on UPN
Report by Mike Roe, Torch Team Contributor
In a nutshell: Brooklyn Brawler turns his back on Brooklyn, WWE Title versus U.S. Title, and new tag champs!
Back from break, we got your favorite, the standard outside shot of the arena, good ol' MSG.
*** Heidenreich made his way out to the ring, and was doing weird arm movements like he was Popeye on the way out. It was weird. He also yelled out "My world!" This apparently isn't for a match, but that means it is for a poem, and after last week's farting poem, I don't know which is worse. Heidenreich said that he spent the last few days in New York City, and that, believe it or not, he had made some friends there. Heidenreich said that he wanted to introduce one of them to the fans tonight, and he called out the Brooklyn Brawler. Brawler walked out in his tattered jeans and Yankees shirt, with New York written on the back, and a black newsboy cap like Coach always wears. Heidenreich said that his friend (which Heidenreich said in a really creepy way) inspired him to write a poem about his friend, a "disasterpiece" as Heidenreich's poems are known. The whole poem was completely pandering and kissing butt to not just the Brawler but the New York crowd. Brawler said that it stunk, it was terrible, it was embarrassing. Brawler said that the only thing more embarrassing is when the New York Yankees choked in the playoffs against the Boston Red Sox last year, and that the only thing that stunk more was this whole town. He then took off his Yankees shirt to reveal a Boston Red Sox t-shirt, and put on a Red Sox hat. He said that he now wanted to be known as the Boston Brawler instead of the Brooklyn Brawler. Whoopeeee. Heidenreich told Brawler to wait, and that if he wasn't their friend, he wasn't Heidenreich's friend. Heidenreich beat Brawler down, despite Brawler protesting that he was still Heidenreich's friend. Heidenreich ripped off Brawler's Red Sox t-shirt, revealling his pasty white body. Yikes. Heidenreich hit his finisher and yelled at Brawler that he was a traitor.
Earlier tonight: We saw MNM leaving their "calling card" via spray paint on the hood of Eddie's low rider.
Up next: A WWE Tag Team Championship match, with Mercury and Nitro taking on Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio.
(4)MNM (Joey Mercury & Johnny Nitro with Melina) defeated Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio in a WWE Tag Team Title match when Joey Mercury pinned Rey Mysterio at 10:27. The finish came after MNM's double team finisher.
Pre-match analysis: A couple production guys rolled out a red carpet for MNM. MNM then walked out with a group of photographers leading the way. They posed on the ramp for a few shots before proceeding the rest of the way down to the ring. Tazz kept telling Cole to watch as Melina prepared for her entrance, doing the splits on the way in. She kissed her boys as they went up to the corners to pose. Tazz said that MNM might have to pay for what they did to Eddie's low rider, but they got what they wanted, a title shot. Eddie and Mysterio rolled out in the green low rider, an old school Coupe DeVille, with the reminder of MNM's attack still on the hood.
Match analysis: Eddie rushed the ring and tried chasing down MNM. He took down Nitro and Mercury on the outside. Nitro and Eddie started things off in the ring. Eddie hit a back body drop. Mercury ran in and got an atomic drop for his troubles. Mysterio head scissored Mercury to the outside. Melina held Nitro's hand as they walked over to check on Mercury as we went to break.
Match analysis (continued):Back from break, Eddie was working on Nitro in the corner. Mysterio tagged in and went to work, hitting a kick to the chest, followed by a forearm. Mysterio hit a dropkick into a cover, but Nitro kicked out. Mysterio hit a snapmare and tagged in Eddie, who came in with a hilo over the top rope into a cover for two. Melina didn't look happy with her boys getting beat up. Eddie hit a suplex and covered, but Nitro kicked out at two and tagged in Mercury. Mercury hit a forearm shiver, then whipped Eddie into the corner and charged into Eddie in the corner. Mercury went after him in the opposite corner, but Eddie dodged and hit a standing dropkick. Eddie hit a big shoulder to Mercury, then knocked Nitro off the apron when Nitro tried to interfere, but Mercury knocked Eddie to the outside. Mysterio ran over for a save, but the ref kept Mysterio away to try to retain some order. Nitro tagged in and Nitro and Mercury double teamed Eddie in the corner. Nitro covered, but Eddie kicked out. Nitro tagged Mercury back in and they hit a double team gutbuster. Mercury covered, but Eddie kicked out at two. Mercury applied a modified armbar submission. Eddie stood and got a vertical base, then broke out of a facelock and hit elbows to the side of the head, but got a knee to the gut which sent him flying. Mercury covered, but Eddie kicked out. Mercury applied an abdominal stretch. Eddie elbowed out and hit a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to take control. Eddie tagged in Mysterio, who hit a low dropkick and eliminated Nitro from the apron. Nitro hit a second rope springboard moonsault. Mysterio springboarded into the ring for a seated senton to Mercury, followed by a front dropkick to the jaw. Nitro ran in for the save. Nitro tossed Mysterio down onto Mercury's knee in a nice double team spot, into a cover, but Mysterio kicked out. Eddie came in for the save, hitting the three amigos on Mercury. Eddie gave Mysterio a boost to hit a dropkick to the back on Mercury. Mysterio was going for a 619, but Melina interfered and protect her boy Mercury. Mysterio didn't want to hit her, so he stopped short. Eddie dealt with Melina on the outside, and Melina leapt onto Eddie (hey, that doesn't soud that bad) to block him from seeing what was happening in the ring, allowing Mercury and Nitro to hit a double team move in the ring.
Post-match analysis: Eddie and Mysterio argued after the match. Eddie asked Mysterio what was up and blamed him for the loss, then shoved him to the mat. Mysterio looked pissed, and Eddie just looked disappointed in Mysterio. The fans chanted "Eddie sucks!" Mysterio ran after Eddie and told him not to push him, and when Eddie acted defiant, Mysterio shoved Eddie to the floor. Eddie nodded and looked at Mysterio a bit surprised as Mysterio walked up the ramp.
Match grade: B-. This Eddie versus Rey storyline has been almost pitch perfect (other than the fact that Eddie probably shouldn't be turned heel, but if they're going to do it, this is the way to go) and this match did a great job furthering the feud and leading to the first obviously intentional physical aggression between the two. MNM are money in the bank, and "the it team on the scene" is going to go far in WWE if they keep up the great gimmick with the solid if unspectacular ring work.
Raw Rebound: We saw a recap of the Triple H versus Jim Ross agle from Raw this week. Triple H was mauling JR in the ring since Triple H had sabotaged Batista by having his limo driver take him the wrong way, but Batista of course made the last minute save and put JR's arm over Triple H to pick up the victory. Batista looked like an insensitive prick by smiling and celebrating while JR was still bleeding to death, though.
Up next: Champion versus champion. Something tells me this won't be good for the U.S. Title, but we shall see.
Promo time: The WWE Divas swimsuit issue is available now, and as it has Molly in it, it gets a thumbs up from yours truly. Molly, come back to us soon!
*** MNM were celebrating backstage as photographers snapped pictures. Melina got on her cell phone as she prepared to party it up, telling "Keanu and Christina" to meet them in NYC. Well, their careers don't seem to be going anywhere, so I guess they have plenty of time to party. MNM got in their limo and left, and in a fun bit, the photographers tried chasing the limo on its way out and kept taking pictures.
(5) John Cena defeated Orlando Jordan (with Doug Basham) at 7:07.
Pre-match analysis: John Cena came down with his crazy huge Chain Gang pendant to his amazingly Hispanic theme music. He also was totally pandering with a throwback Yankees jersey. Cole plugged Cena's upcoming album coming out next month, as well as the movie that's on the way. Cena got on the mic and did his "Yo, yo, yo, yo!" bit. The fans chanted "Cena!" Cena said that those chants are the sound of Staten Island, Queens, Brooklyn, the Bronx, Yonkers, Long Island, and New York. What, no Manhattan? Yeah, I guess that wouldn't be very "man of the people." The fans broke into another loud "Cena!" chant. Cena said that New York City had been built on tradition. He cited the Statue of Libery, the Empire State Building, and Madison Square Garden. I thought that the discussion of New York landmarks was a bit uncomfortable due to 9/11 and so forth, but it worked well enough. Cena said that there would be a champion versus champion match, and that while JBL and Orlando cling to the blue blood traditional roots, New York City had adapted, and "we will overcome." Uh, so New York City is Cena's tag partner? This match is really lopsided in favor of Cena. I don't think I've ever heard of a multi-million to one handicap match before. Cena finished off with his "If you want some, come get some!" catch phrase.
Pre-match analysis (continued): John Cena's music was still playing as we came back from break as he spun his title belt plate. The fans had to sit through this song for that long?! Wow, New York City fans are hardcore. Orlando Jordan came out with Doug Basham and did the longhorns pose. Danny Basham and JBL were nowhere to be seen. Cole discussed Danny's complaints about being bossed around earlier in the night.
Match analysis: Orlando Jordan shadowboxed as the match started. Jordan applied a side headlock and hit a shoulder block. Cena hit a shoulder knockdown, followed by right hands and a running charge in the corner, back first. Jordan got his boot up in the corner and hit a boot to Cena. Jordan did a punching combination in the corner and yelled "You can't see me!" Doug distracted Cena from the outside. Cena took Doug out, but it allowed Jordan to hit a DDT and gain the advantage. Jordan worked on Cena in the corner, with more punches, using that boxing technique. Jordan hit a clothesline and covered, but Cena kicked out. Cena hit a bulldog, followed by an inverted atomic drop and a scoop slam. Cena followed up with an elbow drop to the sternum into a cover, but Jordan popped his shoulder up to break the count. Jordan grabbed the rope to send Cena tumbling to the outside. Doug rammed Cena spine first into the steel post before rolling him back in. Jordan's hair looked a bit discombobulated during this match, though it made him look a little more intense and nutty. Jordan kept up the work on Cena and hit a side slam into a cover, but Cena kicked out. Jordan applied a reverse gut wrench on the mat. Cena reached out to the crowd for support. Cole tried to put over Cena as being "blue collar," though I don't know if that description applies to a guy who went to prep school. Cena hit a suplex and the ref was giving a double count as both men were slow to rise. Cena got the best on their exchange once they stood, hitting a headbutt and a pair of clotheslines, followed by a hip toss. Cena hit his spinning side slam then looked to the crowd. He lifted his hand and did the "You can't see me!" Cena took Doug off of the apron and hit the Five Knuckle Shuffle. He started pumping up his shoes. Doug was up on the top rope, but Cena took him down and hit the FU. Jordan was on the other top rope. Cena went to stop him, but Danny Basham ran down and hit Cena in the head with the title belt to take him down. Jordan jumped off the top rope and covered, but Cena kicked out. Cena started fighting back like Superman. Jordan cut him off with a thumb to the eyes. Cena threw Jordan into Danny Basham on the apron, which allowed Cena to hit the FU and cover for the victory.
Post-match analysis: Cena posed with a kid in the crowd after the match. The kid tried looking cool, but didn't really pull it off.
Match grade: C. A pretty dull main event, though the shenanigans with the Bashams added a little to the overall thing, although I think this segment could have used the star power of another main eventer, most likely JBL. It could have been fun to have JBL run down, followed by Angle, Show, and Booker to help set up next week's four way match. It was also disappointing to see the U.S. Champion treated so poorly, put into a situation where he couldn't even win with a freakin' title belt shot.
Final show grade: B-. An enjoyable, newsworthy Smackdown that didn't have enough standout in ring work and had a couple segments that really dragged things down, notably Heidenreich's confrontation with the Boston Brawler (who cares?), and Matt Morgan, version Stuttering. Still, they did a great job with the Eddie versus Rey storyline, and MNM continue to contribute as a strong new act that helps to give the tag scene a fresh feel. Carlito is also money in his Cabana segments, and I'm excited for his impending return to the ring.
Special thanks to the "Supreme" Seth Berger, the "Quote King" James Caldwell, Jason Detrick, Derek Burgan, and Dusty Giebink.
Smackdown Quotes with James Caldwell!
JBL on Booker T.'s pre-match interaction with his wife: "That right there is the problem I have with Booker T. He's a hot dog; he should be a superstar; he could be a World Champion. He cares too much about that woman; he cares too much about these fans. I don't care anything about giving these fans what they need and that's me."
Caldwell's Analysis: This was an example of one of those masked comments that sounds like a simple heel comment, but really could be interpreted as a shoot on Booker T. for not becoming a superstar when he is more than capable of being a top-notch superstar. Unfortunately, what JBL said – if you want to interpret it as a masked shoot on Booker – is correct.
Angle on Booker T.'s missile drop kick on Big Show: "He's going to beat the Big Show, oh my gosh!"
JBL Responding to Angle: "Did you jut say oh my gosh?"
Angle: "Oh my golly."
JBL: "You just said oh my gosh."
Angle: "I'm sorry, I don't swear like you."
JBL: "You don't deserve to be Champion; you cuss like a grade schooler!"
Caldwell's Analysis: Oh, no he didn't! In the midst of an argument that sounded like it was straight out of an elementary school playground, JBL drew a very weird conclusion that Angle cannot be WWE Champion because he doesn't cuss very affluently. Well, I'll be darned if cussing was ever a requirement for becoming WWE Champion. Of course, we should only take JBL's standards for who should and shouldn't be Champion as a grain of salt because he's the first ever drunk elephant WWE Champion.
Carlito introducing Carlito's Cabana: "New York City. Madison Square Garden. That's not cool. Hey, hey, hey, don't boo Carlito. I have no problem with taking a bite out of the Big Apple and spitting it in all your faces. But seriously, Carlito is very upset (a-hole chant) – listen up, this is Coolest 101! I was walking through the streets of New York City and I saw hundreds of children running and playing, and I realized they have no chance of growing up to be cool. You see, you people, New Yorkers, you guys are famous for losing your cool. When somebody steps on your shoes or bumps into you on the streets, you guys go crazy. You need to learn how to play in cool, just like my guest tonight – the opposite of cool – Latino heat, Eddie Guerrero."
*Eddie Guerrero came to the ring.
Carlito to Eddie: "Eddie, it's so great to have you here on the Cabana. It's too bad you weren't here last week when your partner, Rey Mysterio, was on. See, this cool new team, MNM, came out last week and beat the crap out of him. My questions for you is: where were you, man?"
Eddie: "Take it easy, vatto. You're coming out here and trying to stir it up between me and Rey Rey.:
Carlito: Carlito doesn't stir up trouble. Carlito would never talk about how the man you dedicated your match to last week would cost you your shot at the WWE Championship. Roll the footage!
*Footage of Rey costing Eddie his match last week.
Carlito: "Eddie, that was not –"
Eddie: "Callate! If you say cool one more time, I'm gonna rip it up your head, spin you around, and shove it up your c(bleep)."
*Eddie takes bite of apple*
Eddie: "The real reason why I'm out here, holmes, is to take this opportunity to talk to Rey publicly and personally, face to face like a man, and in front of everybody so I can explain what happened. Rey Rey, if you would please, make your way down to the Cabana, holmes."
*Rey Mysterio came out to the Cabana*
Eddie: First of al, Rey Rey, I take a look back at that footage and it brings back a lot of memories. Do you remember last year, I was standing in this very arena holding up the WWE Championship? And this year, ese, that's all gone, holmes. I look at that footage, man, and it reminds me of so much more. It reminds me of what I wanted. It brings back all the memories that I had when I had the WWE Championship, but it's gone. You know, Rey Rey, I've become clouded, man. I realized that I was being selfish. I cost you your chance at the WWE Championship two weeks ago against JBL. Why? Because I was so focused on myself and I was being selfish. Last week – I know you don't believe me, but when you got dropped in Chicago – I promise you I was having car troubles, that's why I was not there. Rey Rey, I can stand here in front of you and everybody and tell you what I don't have, but I'm not going to do that. I need to look at what I do have and that's my health and my family, and that's you. We've gone through so much and I just want to extend my hand to you as a man and tell you that I'm sorry, please forgive me. I'm dead serious. You believe me don't you? I know it's been chaotic, bro. If anyone knows my heart, you know it.
*Rey Mysterio accepted the handshake and both men hugged.
*MNM appeared on screen from backstage.
Nitro: "Well, well, it looks like our little after-school special moment is over."
Mercury: "Hey Rey, I know we dropped you on your head last week, so I know you may have a little trouble remembering who we are."
Melina: "We are M-N-M, the hottest team on the scene. We're so glad you two could settle your problems because Teddy Long said we can't have a tag team title match unless you two agree on it. So what do you say? Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio vs. M-N-M for the WWE Tag Team Championships tonight."
Eddie: "No, no, no. That's just great, mamasito. You want to challenge us? You challenge us face-to-face right here in the ring like true Champions do, like true challengers do."
Mercuiry: "That would be way too easy for us, and I think we would be more comfortable back heeere."
*Camera shows Eddie's low-rider spray-painted from top to bottom.
Melina: "Beautiful low-rider, Eddie. How much did this set you back? Instead of us going back there, we'll wait for you to come back here. If you have a hard time finding us, we'll just leave our calling card."
Eddie: "No, no, no!!!"
Caldwell's Analysis: Solid segment to make fans almost assured Eddie and Rey were back in the saddle together, with Rey being hesitant to accept Eddie's apology, only to come to a realization that Eddie is obviously his friend. Of course, this serves as the perfect set up for the potential heel turn by Eddie leading to a feud between the two current tag champs (at this stage in the show.) MNM's portion was very well done, with the tag champs (at this point) having their buttons pushed to the point where they'll obviously accept the tag title challenge. Really fit with MNM's character.
Matt Morgan: "I am not – nervous. I am tired of life. I've been the focal point of people's attention; I command people's attention. And tonight, you better believe I'm going to make my im-m-m-m-pact. Madison Square Garden has never quite seen anyone quite like Matt M-m-m-m-m-organ. And tonight, I take years of frustration out on my opponent and d-d-d-d-d-destroy anyone in my path. And after my match is done, you better believe everyone will remember the name Matt M-m-m-m-m-organ."
Caldwell's Analysis: Can't the WWE writers just accept the fact that they don't have to throw their own "creative touch" on every single new act in the WWE? If this is the most creative thing they can come up with for Morgan, maybe they're better off working at Midas where they might be able to excel at the "Midas touch" before ever finding any semblance of understanding in today's wrestling world. On the actual topic, at least there's some back story behind Morgan in that he's frustrated with life and wants to take out his frustrations on everyone. Oh wait, didn't they run that with Heidenreich when he first debuted? Sorry, creative has only so many ideas they can recycle through the creative machine every nine months.
Orlando Jordan to the Bashams: "Have you forgotten who I am? I am the Chief of Staff. Number One. Your Boss. Maybe you guys forgot what JBL said to you guys last week. Don't shape up – he'll cut both of you. And we got a job tonight. JBL wants you guys to soften John Cena up, so when he wins this fatal four way next week, he's facing a beaten and battered John Cena. So, when it's Champion vs. Champion, and I beat John Cena like I did before, you guys are going to come down and get the job done. Is that clear? Good."
Doug Basham: "I'm getting real sick of this. Real sick of it."
Caldwell's Analysis: Oh boy. First of all, let's look at the timeline here. If Cena were softened up tonight, that would leave one week until JBL faces the fatal four way match. Throw in another week in between the fatal four way and JBL vs. Cena and Cena has a full two weeks of recovery time to recover from any imminent beat down by the Bashams. I mean, Chris Benoit almost had his arm separated at WrestleMania, yet he wrestled a twenty-minute match the next night on Raw. How is anything the Bashams do, outside of killing Cena, going to soften him up for a match two weeks from today? On a side note, the teased babyface turn by the Bashams was a very nice touch, with the storyline from last week followed up quite well this week.
Tazz on Matt Morgan's opponent: "I wouldn't want to be in this dude's pants, that's for sure."
Caldwell's Analysis: And here, I thought Michael Cole was the Ambiguously Gay solo act. Apparently, we have a new Ambiguously Gay duo on Smackdown to complement the Heart Throbs on Raw. Who says WWE doesn't give equal treatment to Smackdown?
Heidenreich: "Shhh. I spent the last few days in New York City. That's right. Believe it or not, I made some friends here. Friends! And tonight, I want to introduce one of them to you. He's very special; he's one of your very own; he's the Brooklyn Brawler! That's my friend. He inspired me to write a poem about him – a Disasterpiece. Tell me what you think of this."
I have spent a lifetime looking for a friend.
I have traveled far and wide, never knowing where the road might end.
Well, now the end is finally near, because the Brooklyn Brawler is standing here.
Right smack down in the Mecca of sports entertainment, Madison Square Garden.
And that was a poem by Heidenreich.
Brooklyn Brawler: "You want my opinion? Are you sure? It stunk. It was terrible. It was embarrassing, Heidenreich. As a matter of a fact, the only thing more embarrassing that I can think of is when the New York Yankees choked last year in the playoffs to the Boston Red Sox. You know what else is embarrassing? This whole stinkin' town. As a matter of fact – as of today, I no longer want to be called the Brooklyn Brawler. I proudly want to be known as the Boston Brawler."
Heidenreich: "Wait, wait, if you're not their friends, that means one thing – that you aren't my friend."
*Heidenreich attacked Brawler and laid him out in the ring.
Caldwell's Analysis: Apparently Heidenreich is trying to be turned babyface. I guess that whole heel bit didn't work out too well, especially with Matt Morgan making his debut and stealing Heidy's gimmick. Too bad, it was fun while it lasted. At least now I'll be able to laugh and enjoy the poetry without having to feel weird because I'm supposed to be appalled and disenfranchised by his heel character. :/)
If you look at line three of the poem, the symbolism couldn't have been more obvious. As line three hinted, the end of his heel run was officially realized by Boston Brawler's appearance, who positioned his own heel turn as a chance to turn Heidenreich babyface. Of course, I just can't wait until they go to Boston and Heidenreich turns heel back again. *checks schedule for when WWE goes back to Boston.* May 2 for Raw. Darn.
Tazz before Melina's ring entrance: "Wait, wait, don't say anything, this is gorgeous, watch. Just watch, Cole. Here we go, there it is my man!"
*Melina did her sexy entrance.
Cole commenting on MNM: "That's great, but all I can keep thinking about is what those punk kids did earlier tonight when they spray painted Eddie Guerrero's low rider."
Caldwell's Analysis: It's official, Michael Cole is gay. If all Cole can think about is a sneak attack by MNM on Eddie's low-rider while Melina is doing her entrance, then I don't need anymore proof.
Melina on MNM winning the tag titles: "Hello Paris, yes, can you believe it? MNM are the new tag team champions. Tell Keanu and Christina to head out to N-Y-C because we're going to party all night long. Yes!"
Caldwell's Analysis: Last I checked, Keanu was still inside the Matrix while Christina could have been referring to about five hundred people. Either way, I loved this segment because the writers allowed for a follow up on MNM's tag team title victory, which is something WWE has grossly underestimated the importance of in recent weeks. Very good decision to make sure the focus following the Eddie and Rey shove-around was shifted back to the new tag champions. Solid, solid, booking.
Cena: "Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo! That right there is the sound of Staten Island, that's the sound of Queens, that's the sound of Brooklyn, that's the sound of the Bronx, that's the sound of Yonkers, that's the sound of Long Island, New York stand up! New York City has been built on tradition. Statue of Liberty. Empiure State Building. Madison Square Garden. I ain't gonna lie, New York, there's a lot of other places built on tradition. New York is special because you people can adapt and overcome absolutely anything. So tonight, there's gonna be a fight. Champion vs. Champion. US Champion vs. WWE Champion. And while JBL and Orlando Jordan cling to those blue blood traditional roots, New York City, we have adapted, and tonight, we will overcome. Orlando Jordan, listen to the sound of the New York City Chain Gang. And if you want some – (crowd finishes) come get some!"
Caldwell's Analysis: Could you get any more cheap trying to draw heat? Wow. This is absolutely pathetic. Three weeks ago, Cena basically said he was part of the LA street gang scene, nearly on the verge of donning the colors of the Bloods or the Cripps. Goodness. I just wish he would actually try to gain babyface heat trying to use more subtle overtones rather than outright cutting an entire promo about the city he's in every week. One thing to compare this to is the way Mick Foley and the Rock did the "cheap babyface pop" gimmick back in the day. They didn't center their entire promo or character on the cheap pop, and to a certain extent, they even made fun of it. On the other hand, Cena's entire gimmick is centered on this very cheap babyface heat, and he seems to take it serious. That's a poor reflection on your character's development when your entire gimmick is about generating cheap babyface heat.
Michael Cole on John Cena to close the show: "For now, Cena celebrates, and the time is indeed now for the WWE Champion!"
Caldwell's Analysis: Cena's time is certainly here with him actually being given mic time and plenty of build up, in comparison to the Raw brand's Champion – whatshisface. Cena still doesn't inspire anyone with his in-ring performance, but at least he's connecting with the fans unlike whatshisface. Of course, he doesn't have Big Foot breathing down his neck either.
Well, you've done it again. You've managed to make it through yet another week of Express goodness. Be sure to drop me a line with your thoughts at email@example.com, and come back and visit me in the Lounge this weekend for another edition of Daydream Believer! Until next time, do good works and remember to smile!
*** Mike Roe now does the Smackdown Express reviews each and every week for PWTorch.com. He does this for all the readers who would rather watch something coherent like Blue Collar TV, featuring more drunk redneck jokes than you can shake a stick at, and then read the recap later. Bastards! He can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org if you have something to say.
THE TORCH REACHES MORE COMBAT ENTERTAINMENT FANS THAN ANY OTHER SOURCE
PWTorch editor Wade Keller has covered pro wrestling full time since 1987 starting with the Pro Wrestling Torch print newsletter. PWTorch.com launched in 1999 and the PWTorch Apps launched in 2008.
He has conducted "Torch Talk" insider interviews with Hulk Hogan, The Rock, Steve Austin, Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, Eric Bischoff, Jesse Ventura, Lou Thesz, Jerry Lawler, Mick Foley, Jim Ross, Paul Heyman, Bruno Sammartino, Goldberg, more.
He has interviewed big-name players in person incluiding Vince McMahon (at WWE Headquarters), Dana White (in Las Vegas), Eric Bischoff (at the first Nitro at Mall of America), Brock Lesnar (after his first UFC win).
He hosted the weekly Pro Wrestling Focus radio show on KFAN in the early 1990s and hosted the Ultimate Insiders DVD series distributed in retail stories internationally in the mid-2000s including interviews filmed in Los Angeles with Vince Russo & Ed Ferrara and Matt & Jeff Hardy. He currently hosts the most listened to pro wrestling audio show in the world, (the PWTorch Livecast, top ranked in iTunes)
REACHING 1 MILLION+ UNIQUE USERS PER MONTH
500 MILLION CLICKS & LISTENS PER YEAR
MILLIONS OF PWTORCH NEWSLETTERS SOLD
PWTorch offers a VIP membership for $10 a month (or less with an annual sub). It includes nearly 25 years worth of archives from our coverage of pro wrestling dating back to PWTorch Newsletters from the late-'80s filled with insider secrets from every era that are available to VIPers in digital PDF format and Keller's radio show from the early 1990s.
Also, new exclusive top-shelf content every day including a new VIP-exclusive weekly 16 page digital magazine-style (PC and iPad compatible) PDF newsletter packed with exclusive articles and news.
The following features come with a VIP membership which tens of thousands of fans worldwide have enjoyed for many years...
-New Digital PWTorch Newsletter every week
-3 New Digital PDF Back Issues from 5, 10, 20 years ago
-Over 60 new VIP Audio Shows each week
-Ad-free access to all PWTorch.com free articles
-VIP Forum access with daily interaction with PWTorch staff and well-informed fellow wrestling fans
-Tons of archived audio and text articles
-Decades of Torch Talk insider interviews in transcript and audio formats with big name stars. **SIGN UP FOR VIP ACCESS HERE**