James Caldwell, Torch Team Contributor

TNA Impact Review
March 25, 2005
Taped March 15, 2005 in Orlando, FL at Universal Studios
Aired on Fox Sports Net
Report by James Caldwell, Torch Team Contributor

- Instead of the usual Impact video package, we opened with a shot from Dusty Rhodes' pick up truck office where Dusty's co-secretaries, Traci and Trinity, were poring over some important papers only to be rudely interrupted by none other than Abyss! Abyss climbed into the back of the truck as Trinity and Traci looked on in horror. A.J. Styles walked by the pick up truck as Abyss pointed at Trinity.

- From the Impact Zone, Mike Tenay and Don West welcomed us to the show, where Tenay indicated Dusty Rhodes would make the formal announcement concerning the two "six sides of steel" cage matches set for April's Lockdown PPV. West said that based on the clip to begin the show, Abyss wants Dusty Rhodes to follow through on giving him his shot at Jeff Jarrett's NWA Title.

- We went back to Dusty's pick up truck office where Trinity told Abyss that he doesn't have an appointment. Traci looked in the back of the truck for Abyss' contract for an NWA Title shot, but couldn't find it. Abyss grunted at the fact that Traci couldn't find the contract. (Abyss' grunts are far worse than Jimmy Jacobs' "huss" chants and are definitely not as funny.) Traci pleaded with Abyss that she would find the contract, but Abyss was upset and drew within a few feet of Traci and Trinity, causing them to leave the office very quickly. Abyss turned around to see former X Division Champion A.J. Styles screaming at him. Abyss climbed down and listened as Styles said he wasn't scared of Abyss. Abyss shoved Styles leading to a pull-apart brawl as security tried to intervene. Styles screamed, "You don't scare me punk! You want to do this?!"

- Mike Tenay said Abyss wants a match with Jeff Jarrett for the NWA Title, but found himself preoccupied with Styles. Still no word on when Abyss will actually receive his well over-due NWA Title shot.

(1) Tryan defeated Buck Quartermain at 2:28. Trytan – sporting his mysterious black trunks and enigmatic black boots – jumped Buck before the bell driving hard right hands to the side of the head. We caught a look at a sign ringside that said, "Trytan is awesome." Poor, poor soul. Trytan took Buck to a corner and delivered hard right hands to the side of the head. Trytan flung Buck across the ring to the opposite corner where he drove hard shoulder thrusts to Buck's stomach. Trytan delivered a big boot to Buck's head as West indicated there is no body fat on the physical specimen that is Trytan. Trytan pounded on Buck's head in the corner then choked with him a big boot to the throat. Buck fought out of the corner with shots to Trytan's knees only to be driven to the mat with a hard spinebuster. Trytan played to the crowd then measured Buck and picked him up to deliver a devastating Brock Lesnar F-5 move. Tenay referred to it as the "T-3," but nevertheless, Trytan covered Buck for the pin and the win. After the match, Tenay tried to sell Trytan's devastating finisher when he poignantly said, "Buck Quartermain was 29."

Match View: Trytan looked much better today than during his debut match at Destination X eleven days ago. He still lacks any semblance of character or distinguishing characteristics to separate himself from the other cookie cutter big men in pro wrestling such as Masters, Snitsky, Heidenreich, and Jindrak. TNA can hype Trytan's mysterious background all they want, but sticking Trytan with standard black trunks and standard pair of black boots tells the whole story of Trytan's persona. The thing Trytan has going for him is his athletic ability that surpasses a lot of WWE's big men and is on par with TNA's batch of big men such as Abyss, Monty Brown, and Bobby Roode. If they can stick a character on Trytan, they might be able to package him in a marketable way. Poor Buck Quartermain can't buy a break on TNA programming. Sticking Johnny Fairplay with Buck could have been the biggest break for Buck's career, but that appears to have fallen by the wayside.

- As a way of establishing Jarrett's "mainstream crossover appeal" to the TNA viewing audience, we saw a clip from Jeff Jarrett's appearance on Blue Collar TV several weeks ago. There was commentary from various cast members and production staff that hyped Jarrett's "awesomeness."

[Commercial Break]

- Konnan was looking a little too dejected backstage only to run into his arch-nemesis, the Outlaw. Konnan wanted to know why he was trying to break up the Kru. The Outlaw indicated he had other things to worry about besides him and didn't want to deal with his line of questioning. BG James entered the scene to separate Konnan from the Outlaw. The Outlaw said he would make the time to deal with Konnan later, but in the meantime, had some business to discuss with BG James. Konnan took exception, but BG answered back that he didn't have any business to discuss with the Outlaw. Konnan asked BG about "the business" he had with the Outlaw. BG, exasperated by Konnan's "nosy rosy" ways, tried to explain that the Outlaw was merely trying to get in his head and there was nothing to it. Konnan – once again – wasn’t buying it, causing BG to storm off in a huff. Konnan took that as a definitive answer that something was up and BG was avoiding a reasonable discussion of the situation. Ron Killings entered the scene and calmed Konnan down by letting him know the issue would be taken care of and "it ain't nothing." Killings left as Konnan looked on in pensive fear.

(2) Shocker & Jeff Hardy defeated Lex Lovett & David Young at 5:01. Tenay described the pairing of Hardy and Shocker as Dusty Rhodes' idea to bring together two of the most charismatic wrestlers in TNA. The match began with Hardy and Young locking up in center ring. Hardy took Young down on his back and dropped a double leg drop in between Young's legs. Hardy tagged in Shocker then ran off his back and connected with a double leg smash to Young in the corner. Shocker followed up with a reciprocal leap off Hardy's back into a splash on Young in the corner. Shocker made a cover on Young, but scored a two count only. Lovett tagged in and ran into a leg whip to the face. Shocker went up top and connected with a flying clothesline. Hardy tagged in and chased Lovett to the outside only to take a back-first whip into the guardrail from Lovett. Hardy sold the back injury as if he was still feeling the effects of taking the Black Hole Slam from Abyss into a pile of thumbtacks at Destination X. Back in the ring, Young tagged in and went to work on Hardy with kicks to the gut. Lovett tagged back in and suplexed Hardy only to keep it locked in for a neck-wrenching submission hold. Young tagged in and clotheslined Hardy in a neutral corner. Young picked up Hardy and sent Hardy to the ropes for a back body drop. Young tagged in Lovett and the heels tried to score some double team offense on Hardy, but Hardy sprung off the top rope with a somersault splash onto both opponents. Hardy made the hot tag to Shocker, who caught both opponents with a drop kick off the ropes. Shocker rolled up Young with a mahistral cradle, but Young kicked out at two. Hardy took Lovett outside of the ring and sent him into the guardrail. Back in the ring, Shocker rolled up Young with a crucifix pin – or as he calls it – the Shockwave, for the pin and the win. Mike Tenay screamed, "When you mix Hardy and Shocker together, you get charisma, energy, and excitement."

Match View: Good action from all four wrestlers. There wasn't enough time given for this match to build up solid in-ring psychology, but five minutes for any match is above standards for your regular Impact match. In that sense, the match was effective in giving us some good heel work on the charismatic babyfaces to give the fans a chance to build heat on Hardy and Shocker as Orlando tried to rally behind the duo. Given the fact that Hardy had been routinely booed in previous weeks, providing the visual of the fans cheering for Hardy and Shocker is a good move to show Hardy as a full-fledged babyface with a strong base of fans. For someone who has struggled to gain acceptance in TNA, the writers did a nice job of giving Hardy an opportunity to gain babyface heat in a distinguishable manner. Young and Lovett have nothing going for them despite evidence that Young was going to be included in Chris Candido's group of misfits. I guess that fell by the wayside along with Young's "winning streak."

[Commercial Break]

- Kevin "Torch Talk" Nash was backstage looking for Diamond Dallas Page. Nash ran into Michael Shane aka Matt Bentley, who told Nash that DDP had just walked through an adjacent gate door.

- Mike Tenay announced that next week's edition of Impact will feature an X Division 4-man shoot out with the winner receiving an X Division title shot versus Christopher Daniels at Lockdown on April 26.

(3) Disciples of Destruction (Ron & Don Harris) (w/Traci) defeated Shark Boy & Cassidy Riley at 3:33. All four men began the match in the ring with DOD chasing the jobbers around the ring. Riley ran over Ron Harris with a back elbow then celebrated prematurely. Ron took a bulldog from Shark Boy then caught Riley off the ropes and set him for a sidewalk slam. Shark Boy reversed momentum with a drop kick to Riley's back causing Riley to fall on top of Ron. Shark Boy was tripped by Don Harris from the outside and promptly sent head first into the guardrail ringside. Don picked up Shark Boy and threw him back into the ring. Ron grabbed Shark Boy and dropped him with a spinning sidewalk slam. Ron picked up Shark Boy and delivered a devasting running powerslam. Traci smiled on as Don tagged in and dropped elbow drops to Shark Boy's chest. Don ran over Shark Boy with a hard clothesline then tagged in Ron Harris. Harris went for a nonchalant powerslam, but Shark Boy slipped out and rolled up Harris for a two count. Ron popped up and ran over Shark Boy with a hard clothesline. Shark Boy fought back with a drop kick and an enziguiri kick to the head. Traci got on the ring apron to check on Ron, only to take a Shark Bite to the backside from Shark Boy. Shark Boy turned around and was run over by Ron Harris' big boot. Cassidy Riley ran in and jumped on Don only to be tossed aside for a big clothesline by Ron Harris. Tenay commented on Riley, "The fighting spirit of this young kid may be great, but maybe the odds are overwhelming." The DOD picked up Riley and dropped him with an H-Bomb double lift up slam then made the cover for the win. Expanding on TNA's idea that all wrestling fans are rednecks, the replay of DOD's finishing move on Riley was brought to us by Larry the Cable Guy's "Right to Bare Arms" CD. Of course, Don West followed up on the replay by throwing out an obligatory, "That's the way you get 'er done" reference.

Match View: The Harris Twins looked more fluid in the ring in comparison to their previous matches, but it still wasn't anything to get you excited about TNA's tag team division. I was hoping that TNA would do something more with Riley by now considering he has impressive in-ring abilities, but now that they've put him along the path of D-Ray 3000 by teaming him with Shark Boy, I don't have confidence in anything they have planned for Riley.

[Commercial Break]

- Diamond Dallas Page came out for an interview segment, but ran through the crowd before entering the ring and shook hands with that guy who waves the Atlanta Falcons towel. DDP opened, "It's me, it's D-D-P." DDP brought up last week's show closing segment where Nash, Sean Waltman, and himself made a request for a match inside the "six sides of steel" cage match at April's Lockdown PPV. DDP called out Dusty Rhodes, who came out flanked by his two secretaries, Traci and Trinity. Rhodes said, "We got some bidness in public, my main man – DDP." Rhodes said we will make history at Lockdown with two "six sides of steel" cage matches. Rhodes bantered on as DDP sat in the ring looking bored to the verge of tears. Dusty, with half his shirt hanging out of his pants, paused as the fans tried to start a "Dusty" chant. Rhodes said it will be NWA Champion Jeff Jarrett, The Outlaw, and Monty Brown vs. DDP, Nash, and Waltman. West screamed, "Yes, yes!" as if he was having a very orgasmic experience. Following Dusty's announcement of the cage match, DDP addressed Monty Brown's back-stabbing move at Destination X: "Any fool who aligns himself with Jarrett is a true fool. That would also make the Outlaw the court jester." From the video screen, we heard a lot of noise as if someone was taking a parking lot beat down. Jeff Jarrett appeared on the video screen to warn DDP that while he was flapping his gums, Jarrett and his crew were firing the first shot in the war. From behind Jarrett, we saw Chris Candido and the Naturals beating down on an unknown figure. Jarrett finished talking and left with the troops to reveal Kevin Nash lying flat on his side amongst a file of garbage. DDP ran out of the ring and scampered through the stands as we went to commercial.

Impact Note: Dusty Rhodes looked like he had just finished a quickie with his secretaries. His speech was slow and his shirt was hanging out of his pants like he didn't have a mirror within a country mile of where he dressed that morning to see how ridiculous he looked. Jeff Jarrett did a nice job of setting up the initial battle strike in the "war" with a beat down on Kevin Nash. If TNA can turn this into a WCW war games type match, they have a chance to create a lot of intrigue for the match.

[Commercial Break]

- Jeff Hardy was walking backstage only to be confronted by Raven. Raven – appearing sauced up – told Hardy that he should consider bringing their separate followings together to form one major force. Hardy said he's never involved himself in other people's business, and only wrestles for himself - no one else. Raven said he understood. Hardy thanked Raven for the complement then told Raven he would check him later. Raven muttered that he would check him later for another reason.

(4) Apolo defeated Sonny Siaki at 2:39. Apolo and Siaki locked up at the opening bell. Apolo broke the lock up and played to the crowd, who booed him. Apolo ran over Siaki with a shoulder block then went for a leap frog, but had the taste slapped out of his mouth by Siaki. Apolo ran into a big boot to the face from Siaki and dropped to the mat. Siaki made a cover, but scored a two count only. Siaki dropped Apolo with a neckbreaker then made a cover, but scored a nearfall only. Off the ropes, Apolo avoided a clothesline and dropped Siaki with a turnaround seated powerbomb. Both men laid on the mat until they reached their feet simultaneously. Apolo and Siaki exchanged hard chops until Aolo dropped Siaki with a hard super kick to the face. Apolo was booed and cheered from the fans as he measured Siaki for another super kick. Siaki ducked and dropped Apolo across his knees with a back breaker. Siaki tried to roll up Apolo, but Apolo reversed it and scored a quick three count for the win. The two shook hands after the match to acknowledge an even match up.

Match View: Good action from both men. They matched up well considering they look like twins with identical size and build, so the match was an intriguing even match up. Good show of sportsmanship to close the match.

- After Apolo and Siaki shook hands, Kid Kash and Lance Hoyt came out to the ringside area. Kash said he just watched a match that really sucked and didn't want to see these two big strong guys loving all over themselves. Kash said he didn't want to see the "Samoa/Puerto Rican soap opera." Kash continued, "This is TNA wrestling; there ain't no love making here, and if you're not here for that, there's the door." Siaki told Kash to shut his mouth then told Kash & Hoyt to get in the ring and talk their smack to his face. Kash responded, "You want to get your hands on me? That's exactly why I'm not going down there, you weirdo…I'm not like that. If you really want some of me and Big Lance, I'll come down there and punch your teeth out." Siaki took exception and said, "Cocky Siaki and Apolo will just come down there and whoop your hind parts all over Orlando, Florida." Siaki and Apolo left the ring and chased Kash & Hoyt to the back.

Impact Note 2: Kid Kash is awesome on the mic and once again proved why he should be receiving an abundance of mic time on Impact. I could have done without the homophobic context of the promo, but the point was effectively made in establishing a new feud that has a chance to amount to a solid series of matches.

[Commercial Break]

- Prior to the main event tag match, Shane Douglas was standing by with Dustin Rhodes. Douglas described the two "six sides of steel" cage matches before announcing that Dustin would be taking on Bobby Roode of Team Canada at Lockdown. Dustin said this isn't my first rodeo and went on to say, "There has never been a Canadian to beat a Texan." Coach D'Amore and Bobby Roode interrupted to question Dustin's knowledge of history. D'Amore said the only people he ever sees when a rodeo is on TV are a bunch of rednecks riding a bull. Roode said, "It will be Canada vs. the state of Texas." Roode said he would prove, "this Canadian is better than any Texan." (JC's Note: Oh, it's on now!) Roode and D'Amore laughed then left as Dustin stared in bewilderment. Dustin closed, "There appears to be a fight brewing. He better country up."

- Mike Tenay reminded us that on next week's show, there will be a four-man X Division shoot out with Chris Sabin, Michael Shane, Prime Time Elix Skipper, and Petey Williams with the winner going on to face Christopher Daniels at Lockdown.

(5) America's Most Wanted (Chris Harris & James Storm) and Phi Delta Slam (Big Till & Big Bruno) (w/Trinity) wrestled to a No Contest at 6:55 in a non-title tag team match. Big Bruno and Chris Harris started things off with a collar and elbow lock up. The two big men rolled around the ropes before Bruno missed with a clothesline leading to Harris knocked both members of PDS to the outside. Storm and Harris stood in the ring staring down PDS as we went to commercial.

[Commercial Break]

We came back to find James Storm in the ring with Big Bruno. Storm tagged in Chris Harris and proceeded to deliver a double team drop kick on Bruno. Harris delivered hard left hands to the head, but then stumbled and fell to the mat upon slipping on his ankle. Bruno tagged in Big Till, who dropped a major elbow to Harris' chest. Bruno tagged back in and hooked up with Till for a double team double underhook slam. Bruno stomped on Harris' back then tagged in Till once again. Till sent Harris head first into a corner turnbuckle then slapped Storm, who was waiting for a tag on the apron. PDS double teamed Harris with a double back elbow to the chops as the referee was trying to get Storm back to his corner. Till worked on Harris in a one-on-one situation with hard right hands. Till picked up Harris for a powerslam, but Harris slipped out and shoved Till into Bruno, who was standing on the apron. Harris clotheslined Till then tagged in Storm. Storm punched both members of PDS in the face then super kicked Till in the head. Bruno took a super kick to the head and laid on the mat appearing to be knocked out. AMW set up for their "Death Sentence" finishing move, but Team Canada ran in and went to work on AMW leading to the match being thrown out. Big Till set up for his big frogsplash, but Dustin Rhodes ran to the ring and shoved Till off the top rope to the outside. AMW and Rhodes cleared Team Canada out of the ring leading to a verbal battle between Team Canada and the country boy babyfaces.

Match View: Blah match. PDS isn't exciting to watch despite their best efforts to play into their "big frat boys" role. Maybe if TNA capitalized on their frat boy gimmick, they would be more watchable rather than two big guys bouncing around the ring with no real purpose. The show-closing brawl amongst Team Canada and the Country Boys was well done in establishing the two big matches at Lockdown as the initial build up of this specific segment of their feud.

---

Matches Announced for the April 24 Lockdown PPV.
- Six Sides of Steel Cage Match: Kevin Nash & DDP & Sean Waltman vs. Jeff Jarrett & Monty Brown & The Outlaw.
- X Division Title Match: Christopher Daniels(c) vs. Winner of next week's 4-Man Shoot Out.
- NWA Tag Team Title Match: America's Most Wanted(c) vs. Team Canada.
- Dustin Rhodes vs. Bobby Roode.

Matches hinted at, but not yet announced.
- Raven vs. Jeff Hardy.
- Six Sides of Steel Cage Match: Abyss vs. A.J. Styles.

Weekend Replay Factor: Good segments that effectively built up the storylines for Lockdown. No real good matches that are "must see," but some halfway decent action to keep your interest for an hour.

As always, feel free to send me feedback on today's show at revenge_nwo@yahoo.com. I'm open to any and all reader comments. I'll be checking in with more TNA commentary in this week’s edition of the Sunday Brunch, so keep your eyes peeled for that.

We suggest these recent related articles...

PARKS'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT 10/8: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of Thursday show, including Roman Reigns & Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt & Braun Strowman

METZGER'S ROH TV REPORT 10/4 & 10/7: IWGP World champ Okada vs. Roderick Strong main event, plus Briscoes vs. Time Splitters, more from "Field of Honor," Overall Reax

MCMAHON'S TNA IMPACT REPORT 10/7: TNA Title Series kicks off, Bound for Glory fall-out, more; Overall Reax