TV REPORTS 10/12 WWE Velocity review: Simmons-Palumbo, Albert-Funaki
Oct 13, 2002 - 4:01:00 PM
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WWE Velocity TV review
October 12, 2002
Taped Tuesday, Oct. 8
Report by Robert Igoe, Torch Team Contributor
(1) Chavo Guerrero pinned Crash Holly. It's always nice to see Chavo make an appearance, even knowing that the only reason he's here is to spotlight the tag team tournament. Chavo controlled most of the match, concentrating on Crash's neck. As for why Crash is starting to be have so unusual, announcers said that it might be due to a prison break near his home. That doesn't do it for me, Crash really needs to cut a promo or two to explain this. Crash's best move was a spinebuster for a two count, but Chavo won with a brainbuster in a pretty typical match between two cruiserweights who don't take to the air quite so often anymore.
A review of Brock Lesnar's attack on the Undertaker two weeks ago was followed after the commercial by the JVC Blast of the Night, Dawn Marie attacking Torrie Wilson after the bikini contest.
This led to a recap of the two's lingerie rematch, complete with an appearance by Jerry Springer's evil twin...er, Torrie's dad.
(2) Albert pinned Funaki. Again? The match, which featured tons of "shave your back" chants, started with Albert doing a great promo in which he called himself a prisoner of Velocity and said he was tired of being relegated to beating up announcers. The promo really advanced the whole character (see Crash?). Funaki countered by asking him why he doesn't shave his back? Why doesn't Funaki learn a new line? Nothing new from last two bouts, with Albert taking over with a backbreaker and a vicious looking hangman from the bottom rope. Funaki's offense was mostly limited to some dropkicks to Albert's legs, a nice DDT and the obligatory grabbing of Albert's chest hair. Albert won with the Baldo Bomb. It's time to move Albert along with a program with a big man, someone like Chuck Palumbo or maybe Mark Jindrak when he's ready.
The rest of the show was mostly recaps, specifically the Kurt Angle-Chris benoit tag team situation, the Undertaker's infidelity angle and the five-second pose with Luis Gonzales and Edge. I'm sure this makes Diamondback management really happy. You just got swept in the NL Divisional Playoffs and to show how devastated you are, you're posing at a WWE event.
(3) Ron Simmons pinned Chuck Palumbo. A quick match that was pretty much all power, with Palumbo hitting some nice suplexes before missing with the thrust kick, allowing Simmons to get the pin with the Dominator.
A solid, well-booked show that finally advanced along one plotline and has the potential to advance another.
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