TV REPORTS KELLER'S 11/18 WWE Smackdown Report: Ongoing "virtual time" analysis of broadcast
Nov 18, 2004 - 9:00:00 PM
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By Wade Keller, Torch editor
NOVMEBER 19, 2004
TAPED TUESDAY IN DAYTON, OHIO
-John Cena came out and cut a mid-ring promo hyping his return and his U.S. Title shot later against Carlito Cool. He said, "I'm not cool, I'm red hot." He joked about Jesus losting a fist-fight to "that guy on Will and Grace," whatever that means. Cena showed nice fire.
-Al Snow backstage asked Chris Nawrocki if he wanted to quit due to his inability to train with injured ribs. He said no. Snow then announced that fans had voted him out anyway.
-Al Snow announced in center ring that this week's Tough Enough competition would be each contestant, one at a time, trying to get past the Basham Brothers and capture a flag in the corner within 30 seconds. None got to the flag within the time limit. Each of them got a bit closer than the next, with Mike Mizanin having the toughest time as the smallest of the group. Although he wasn't the biggest, Daniel Puder got the closest - within inches. Several tempers flared during the various battles and it appeared someone easily could have gotten hurt along the way, but everyone stood in the end breathing hard. The Bashams were announced as the winners and played to the crowd. The crowd booed. This was better than last week, obviously, but still hardly demonstrates potential to be a drawing card or a good wrestler.
-Rey Mysterio, Rob Van Dam, and Michelle from the WWE Diva Contest was acting as a "stretch coach" for RVD. "I'm just getting my stretch on, dude," said RVD to Rey. Rey joined in. RVD cut a promo while bridging upside down, talking with Rey about their tag match later.
-A montage of clips aired hyping the Carlito U.S. Title defense against Cena.
-Carlito Cool told Teddy Long backstage that he had a doctor's note and x-rays that prove he can't wrestle. Long said he talked to his doctors and saw the x-rays, then said: "You're right. You're hurt." Long said if he's going to allow Cena to wrestle with his kidney problems after the stabbing, then he's making Carlito wrestle, too. He said if he didn't wrestle, he would strip him of his title. "You better bu-leeve dat, dog," he said. When Carlito took a bite out of an apple and threatened to spit at Long. Long just smiled and told him not to even think about it. Carlito, frustrated, swallowed and walked away. It's the first time Carlito swallowed on national TV.
-Paul Heyman told Hendenreich backstage to please listen to him, because even though he got pinned, it was a "moral victory for Heidenreich." He said the look on Undertaker's face made it seem like "he was looking into the eyes of his own demon." He said he never saw Taker look at Rock, Steve, "or even Hollywood Hogan" that way. The way he stressed Hogan made it seem as if Heyman was putting Hogan on a pedestal above Rock and Austin. Heidenreich stared straight ahead the whole time, then asked if he was strapped in. When Heyman said he was, Heidenreich said good because he was headed to the ring.
-A WrestleMania Recall moment aired from WM4 with Andre choking Bob Euker.
1 -- CHARLIE HAAS (w/Jackie Gayda) vs. HEIDENREICH (w/Paul Heyman)
Haas charged into Heidenreich when the bell rang, knocking Heyman off the ring apron to the floor with a thud. Heidenreich gives Haas a shoulder-breaker, then had some kind of a breakdown as he left the ring and went into the crowd and then got into the fetal position and yelled about how the Undertaker match was his chance. They cut to a break.
WINNER: Haas via countout at 0:30.
-Cole and Tazz were nearly speechless when trying to explain what they just witnessed with Heidenreich. Cole said they may have seen him have some kind of a nervous breakdown.
2 -- KENZO SUZUKI (w/Horuko) & RENE DUPREE vs. ROB VAN DAM & REY MYSTERIO
Two minutes in, RVD and Rey knocked the heels to the floor and played to the crowd. The camera zoomed in and showed Kenzo bleeding from the nose. They cut to a break.
Kenzo went to a chinlock and yelled at the crowd as they chanted "USA." Cole and Tazz killed time by talking about how "Smackdown dominated at Survivor Series." If they don't play up the Raw-Smackdown rivalry in some tangible ways, these random "Smackdown Pride" comments seem out of place and unnecessary, especially given that there were no Raw vs. Smackdown battles so it's rather difficult to claim any brand dominated. At 9:30 Mysterio fought back. RVD finally got a hot-tag at 10:15. He took Kenzo down with a drop spin wheelkick to the bloody face, then kicked Dupree off the apron. Dupree's distraction gave Kenzo a chance to get the advantage, but Rey gave Kenzo a West Coast Pop in a nice spot leading to an RVD two count. RVD hit Kenzo with the Rolling Thunder, but Dupree broke up the count at two. Rey then gave Kenzo the 619. RVD hit the Five-Star Frog Splash. The ref counted to three.
WINNERS: RVD & Mysterio at 11:42.
STAR RATING: *1/2 -- It started okay, was bland in the middle during the supposed heel heat generating segment, then picked up in the final few minutes with the babyface comeback.
-Another hype montage aired for Carlito-Cena, then Cole plugged that JBL's victory speech would be coming up later.
-Clips aired of WWE's previous visit to the Middle East to entertain the troops. Cole plugged they would be there again this holiday season.
-Kurt Angle walked to the ring and announced the Kurt Angle Invitational Series starting this week. He said he would take on local wrestlers each week to give young turks the opportunity of a lifetime. He said nobody would beat him, but if someone did, he will give them his Olympic Gold Medals. When do they get to Daniel Puder's hometown for a Smackdown taping?
3 -- KURT ANGLE vs. DEAN VISK
A muscular unknown who said he was from Dayton, Ohio stepped out. Angle took him to the mat. Angle offered him a handshake. When Dean reached out, Angle gave him a cheap shot and then stomped away at him in the corner.
WINNER: Angle at 2:15 with an Anklelock.
STAR RATING: n/a
-A very happy JBL and Orlando Jordan, with smiles as wide as the Bush family on Nov. 3, got ready for their victory speech. JBL introduced Jordan to Miss Amy Webber, the latest member of his cabinet, his image consultant. She told JBL, "Image is everything." When Miss Amy said it would be an honor to work with JBL and Jordan, Jordan, "Oh, yes it will." Humility is nothing.
-The WWE 24/7 ad ran again. It's interesting seeing the AWA, NWA, WWF, ECW, and WWE logos, but no Smoky Mountain Wrestling logo. It's not like with Jim Cornette working for them in OVW that they couldn't get the footage. Then again, SMW never was national in scope and never had the influence on WCW and the WWF as ECW did, so it's not a glaring omission by any means.
-JBL and Jordan walked to the ring. Cole said with Colin Powell out of work, maybe JBL would offer him a spot in his cabinet. JBL said he's on a roll and it's only once in a generation that someone comes along who is simply better than everyone else. He said unfortunately for Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, Isaiah Thomas, and Dominique Wilkins were part of the same era as Michael Jordan, so nobody will remember them. He said that's how all other WWE wrestlers feel about being part of the "JBL era." He said they will be an afterthought. He talked about how great the economy has been since his title reign began. Cole asked, "What does that have to do with anything?" He said he isn't just the WWE Champion and the flagship of UPN, he is the most important man in the universe.
Booker T interrupted. When he got to the ring, he asked, "You think these people want to hear that crap?" He said he never saw Michael Jordan using his house boy slip a title belt into the ring to knock someone out. Booker asked for a rematch "right here tonight in Dayton, Ohio." Eddie Guerrero interrupted. Guerrero drove to the ring in a bouncy car. He told JBL he hasn't forgotten what he did to his family. Wow. An acknowledgment of an angle from more than two months ago. Guerrero said he was the last champion and he wants to be the next champion. Booker told Guerrero not to rain on his parade. JBL said he would just let those two fight it out and they'd leave. Booker told JBL to shut up, then turned to Guerrero and said this was his night and he wants his rematch first. Undertaker's music then began to play and the arena went blue and foggy. Cole said it got really cold really face. Undertaker appeared on the stage. Taker entered the ring and reached for the belt. JBL bailed out and said, in a funny line with spot-on deliver: "I gotta tell you in Spanish, I gotta tell you in hip-hop, I've got to tell you in Monster, none of you will get a rematch from JBL."
Long strutted out, George Jefferson style, saying that it's clear to him three men want individual title matches against JBL. Cole, being dumber than every viewer he's speaking to, said, "What?" Long then revealed the obvious - that JBL would be facing all three in his next title defense (not counting house shows, of course). "This match will be a Fatal Four-Way match for the WWE Title," he said. "Holla, holla, holla." Cole declared JBL's title reign in major jeopardy. Tazz said it wasn't fair, it was hideous. Cole said JBL cheated to beat all three and now he has to pay the price. Good segment.
-Al Snow brought out the Tough Enough contestants and gave then each 30 seconds to plead their case. Mike Mizanin told the fans that he has been dedicating his "life for the past two-and-a-half years" trying to get a WWE contract. He said others up there have been ultimate fighting, bodybuilding, and other stuff. Ryan Reeves said he's loved wrestling his entire life and he's never wanted to be anything but a wrestler. He said whether he wins or loses the competition, he's going to do whatever it takes to get back into the ring because he says he belongs in the business. He said he wants fans to some day be chanting his name. Daniel Rodimer laughed, then said it takes a few things to be a WWE superstar, such as strength, charisma, and heart. He said, "It might take a few weeks, but I'll be there." He said he's not cocky, he's confident. He got some boos. Justice Smith talked about being a man, but otherwise nothing else memorable of substantive. Daniel Puder said he used to eat, sleep, and fight in a cage. He bragged about accepting Kurt Angle's challenge and winning the sex test. He said he is all about earning the contract, not winning it. He promised to give it his all. He was shakiest on the mic in terms of delivery.
-Carlito told massage therapist Joy she was hurting him, not helping him by rubbing his injured shoulder. "You're a woman, what do you know?" Carlito told Jesus how unfair it was that he had to wrestle. He said Cena would not get his U.S. Title.
4 -- CARLITO COOL (w/Jesus) vs. JOHN CENA -- U.S. Hvt. Title match
Cena attacked Carlito with a vengeance at ringside before the match. After pounding on him at ringside, he threw him in the ring and gave him an FU for the quick three count. Afterward, as Cena reached to grab the chain that Carlito stole from him, Jesus attacked him from behind, then punched him in the kidney with a fist wrapped in the chain. Medics tended to Cena in the ring. Cole asked, "Cena regained the U.S. Title tonight, but at what price?" Cena was taken out on a gurney.
WINNER: Cena at 0:25
STAR RATING: n/a
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