TV REPORTS KELLER'S 11/1 Raw Report: Ongoing "virtual time" coverage of live broadcast
Nov 1, 2004 - 10:13:00 PM
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By Wade Keller, Torch editor
NOVEMBER 1, 2004
LIVE FROM PEORIA, ILL.
-A recap aired of the Evolution angle at the end of last week's Raw. Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler introduced the show.
1 -- GENE SNITSKY vs. EUGENE -- Hardcore Rules match
Before the match, William Regal insisted to Eugene that he accompany him to ringside. Eugene stammered, but insisted passionately that he has to defend himself by himself. Snitsky stood in the ring making his silly exaggerated cartoonish facial expressions (the American bully version of Kenzo Suzuki's silly exaggerated cartoonish facial expressions). They hit each other with weapons such as street signs, chairs, and whips. The crowd was into the stiffness of the blows. Eugene showed good fire on his comeback at 3:00, but Snitsky then kicked the chair into his face. Snitsky gave Eugene a pump-handle slam on a road sign (if you count Eugene's right buttock landing on the side of it) and scored the pin. Regal saved Eugene from a post-match beating. Fans chanted for Regal.
WINNER: Eugene at 3:47.
STAR RATING: 1/2* -- A stale format saved by the decent crowd heat.
-A promo aired with Triple H complaining about being attacked by a bunch of Raw wrestlers last week. He said it wasn't smart considering he is the wrestler who draws all the fans to the arena (hardly a point to brag about at the moment). He said he wasn't going to be on Raw in person this week. "Let's see how Raw does without it's franchise player." He said when he returns next week, attitudes should change or he and Evolution will change them. "It is in everybody's interest to realize there is only one diamond in this business and you're lookin' at him. And without me, Raw is Nothing." Apparently someone mistakenly put in a tape of Hunter's locker room speech to wrestlers before the show began.
-Lawler introduced Maria, a typical eye-candy WWE diva looking woman, as the newest WWE interviewer.
-Maria interviewed Tajiri backstage. Ric Flair and Batista barged in and beat up Tajiri.
-Ric Flair and Batista were talking in mid-ring when Eric Bischoff interrupted. Bischoff announced Christian vs. Shelton Benjamin for the IC Title, Trish Stratus vs. Lita for the Women's Title, and an eight-man team of Chris Jericho & Chris Benoit & Maven & Randy Orton vs. Triple H & Batista & Edge & Gene Snitsky. The crowd did no respond well to the mention of Maven's name. Why would they when every time he shows any life in a match, a week later he's squashes, and he's never had any character development. Flair wasn't pleased that Bischoff left his name off of the heel team. Bischoff said wasn't pleased with Flair "ordering" him to do something about what happened to Evolution last week. Bischoff complained that Evolution didn't come out to help him at Taboo Tuesday when he was getting his head shaved. He asked Flair what kissing Evolution's ass for the last two-and-a-half years has gotten him. "Absolutely nothing," Bischoff said. "Which is why from now on I answer to no one but me." He said he also has decided to give himself a one month vacation after Survivor Series. He said the winners of the tag match would control Raw for the four weeks after the PPV with the ability to make any match they want, no questions asked. When Batista and Flair complained, Bischoff completed what seemed like his babyface turn by telling them to be sure their team is the winning team at Survivor Series. "Triple H may say without him, Raw is nothing. Well, I say, without that World Title, Triple H is nothing." They needed to change Bischoff's character. As I harped on in the past, his spineless routine with Hunter rendered the G.M. role virtually pointless. This freshens up Bischoff's character. The stip added to Survivor Series is a good way to add meaning to the match, and be sure Hunter can justify being in the finale of the dual-brand PPV once again.
1 -- CHRISTIAN vs. HURRICANE
Edge interrupted in the opening seconds, coming out to yet another new intro song that sounds like virtually every other WWE intro song. Edge said he decided to announce his return to Raw. He then went into a plug for his autobiography. He said he wrote it without a ghost writer. He went on and on as Hurricane and Christian attempted to have a match. Edge said he will be adding a chapter about winning the World Title and spearing Shawn Michaels when the book comes out in paperback. Edge mocked Ross for being upset about not being able to call the match. Edge then gave him a signed copy of his book. Christian won clean with the Unprettier.
WINNER: Christian at 4:05.
STAR RATING: *
-After the match, Shelton Benjamin ran out and got in Christian's face. Christian bailed out and told Benjamin he has a "one night only problem solver" to replace Tyson Tomko. Out walked Viscera. When Benjamin turned to face Viscera, Christian attacked him from behind. Viscera then splashed him from behind. Christian then trash-talked Benjamin on the mat.
-Todd Grisham interviewed Edge backstage. In the midst of his heel promo, in walked Chris Benoit with both tag belts over his shoulders. Edge snatched one of them away. He said if he didn't watch it, he'd have to defend the tag belts alone. Benoit said that would be fine with him.
-Maven walked into Evolution's locker room and talked some trash. Flair and Batista stood up to him. Flair said nobody walks into their locker room and talks to them like that. Orton and Jericho then walked in. Orton told Flair and Batista to worry about Survivor Series because if they don't, they may not have a future thanks to the stipulation Bischoff announced.
-Simon Dean was introduced standing mid-ring with a table stacked with his weight loss product. He insulted an overweight guy in the front row, saying he probably hasn't seen his penis in years. He told a woman she probably can't even access her armpits to shave. He then mocked another fat guy in the crowd. When he asked if his bad teeth were due to inbreeding, the fan charged to the ring. Simon told security to let him enter the ring. Simon insulted him further, asked him to take off his shirt, and made fun of his "jiggly man-boobs." When the "fan" shoved Simon, he retaliated by putting him in a submission hold.
-Ross didn't have much to say other than that was unscheduled, then plugged the World Tag Team Title match.
-They showed Jerry Lawler playing with the "Juice Box," a portable media player that lets people watch WWE highlights on a tiny screen. Is that really needed?
2 -- CHRIS BENOIT & EDGE vs. LA RESISTANCE -- World Tag Team Title match
La Resistance double-teamed Benoit as Edge didn't join the match right away. A minute into the match, Edge made a big ring intro with his music and playing to the crowd. He finally made it to the ring and watched as Benoit continued to take a beating from the heels. As soon as Benoit reached for a tag, Edge dropped off the ring apron and said, "You can do it!" He continued to walk backwards up the ramp as they cut to a break.
Edge joined Ross and Lawler on commentary. Lawler quoted Edge's book, which says in high school he was voted "most likely to win the WWE Championship belt." (How did his high school mates know that the WWF would be forced to change its name to WWE.) At 8:00 Benoit made a full-fledged comeback, suplexing La Resistance onto each other and then hitting Grenier with three German suplexes. Edge returned to the ring at 9:15, but ended up distracting the ref as Benoit applied a Crossface. La Resistance double-teamed Benoit and gave him their finisher for the win. Edge acted upset afterward, shoving La Resistance out of the ring. He grabbed one of the tag title belts, looked at it, and then KO'd Benoit with it. He then tossed the belt back to La Resistance. Benoit was bleeding from the forehead as Edge trash-talked him and punched away at his forehead with a sinister smile on his face. Benoit made a brief comeback with some chops, but the fresher Edge speared Benoit to the mat. Ross called him totally unprofessional. Edge then put Benoit a Crossface. Benoit frantically tapped out. Ross said there had to be an explanation for his actions. Edge rolled out of the ring and said, "That felt good!" Edge is making a good heel.
WINNERS: La Resistance at 9:38 to capture the World Tag Team Titles.
STAR RATING: *1/2
-Flair ranted to Bischoff that he punish Maven, Jericho, and Orton for barging into their dressing room. He demanded that he "repudiate" his Survivor Series stipulations. Bischoff said he doesn't get it. He finally gave them a chance to take control of Raw for a month, and they don't want it. He said his vacation is set in stone, as is the Survivor Series stipulation. Bischoff said he doesn't believe Hunter is really gone, so he booked Flair & Batista & Hunter against the three faces.
-Muhammad Hassan introduced himself as an Arab-American. He said since 9-11, fans have begun to generalize him. He asked fans not to confuse him with terrorists. "Give me the opportunity to represent you in WWE. Praise Allah. Now please be respectful, because my manager Khosrow Daivari translates to my Arab brothers." Oh boy. This smells of trouble.
3 -- SHELTON BENJAMIN vs. VISCERA
Benjamin attempted to wrestle the big wad, but ended up overpowered most of the first few minutes. At 4:00 Christian stepped out to watch. Benjamin came back and hit a jump spin wheel kick to score the pin. Christian then beat on Benjamin, but Benjamin escaped a Christian Unprettier and hit his T-Bone Suplex.
WINNER: Benjamin at 4:25.
STAR RATING: 1/4*
-Trish Stratus stepped into the ring and said her family is concerned for her future given that she has to wrestle Lita. A video feature aired on Lita's past, including showing that after she aligned with Essa Rios, he disappeared; that when she aligned with the Hardy Boys, they broke up and never teamed again; she was on cult hit "Dark Angel" and then the show disappeared; that Matt Hardy is gone; and that Kane has now disappeared. Lita eventually ran out to attack Trish. Gail Kim joined in a two-on-one attack on Lita, who was left lying in the ring.
-A feature aired on the WWE Smackdown Your Vote campaign. Ross thanked everyone who worked so hard on Smackdown Your Vote. He said because of their efforts, many viewers would be out voting for the first time in their lives.
-Ross plugged Benoit vs. Edge as the Raw main event next Monday night in Austin, Tex.
4 -- RANDY ORTON & CHRIS JERICHO & MAVEN vs. RIC FLAIR & BATISTA
Lawler wondered throughout the match where Hunter was. Orton worked the opening minutes, then tagged in Maven who hit a top rope dropkick. Jericho took over immediately for Maven and took a beating for a few minutes, then hot-tagged Orton. At 9:00, Flair and Batista bailed out to ringside. Hunter's music then played. Flair and Batista smiled. It turned out that it was Tajiri dressed up like Hunter and walking like him. Orton, Maven, and Jericho attacked Flair and Batista from behind. Okay, here's a question. Did Flair and Batista smile because they thought Hunter was in the arena. If they thought he was, why isn't he joining them in the match? If he wasn't actually in the arena, shouldn't they have been suspicious from that it wasn't him rather than naively smiling that somehow he made it to the arena in less than an hour from wherever he was. Orton then struck Batista with the RKO for the win. The winners celebrated with Tajiri on the stage as the show ended.
WINNERS: Orton & Jericho & Maven when Orton pinned Batista at 10:39.
STAR RATING: *1/2 -- Basic tag action. Okay. After the match, Orton sidestepped Maven's attempt at a hand-slap. Orton and Jericho seemed to act as if they were forced to team with Maven. Did he steal their girlfriends or something? A strange lack of any attempt by Jericho and Orton to include Maven in anything during or after the match.
We welcome your 1-10 score and comments on this show after it concludes. To contribute your thoughts on Raw for publication in the "Torch Feedback" section, click here.
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