TV REPORTS KELLER'S 10/28 Smackdown report: Ongoing "virtual time" analysis of broadcast
Oct 28, 2004 - 9:01:00 PM
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By Wade Keller, Torch editor
OCTOBER 28, 2004
TAPED SUNDAY IN OMAHA, NEB.
-Al Snow led the seven Tough Enough finalists to the locker room. Big Show told them to get out of his locker room because it was sacred ground and they hadn't paid their dues. He said they should go to the women's locker room, but then said they've paid their dues, too. Show shoved one of them, Daniel Puder, hard against the locker rooms and then shoved him out of the locker room. Snow told them all to put their bags down and head to the ring for their first challenge. As they walked to the ring, Michael Cole and Tazz said that one of them had already quit because he "wasn't tough enough." Snow introduced them one at a time, and all of them tried to make an impression on the fans by showing fire. Ryan Reeves kissed his bicep. Mick Mitchell stole Rick Rude's old hip gyrations. Daniel Puder whoo'd like Ric Flair while otherwise doing his Tito Ortiz twin brother impression.
Snow announced that fan voting wouldn't begin until next week. Snow told them that since Big Show put them in their place, they each had 30 seconds to put Big Show in his place. Chris Nawrocki cut a promo, saying that after he wins Tough Enough, he will be right by his side in the locker room and he will never put him in his place again. Mike Mizanin talked about being in Oklahoma. Tazz interjected that they were actually in Nebraska. He got cut off before he got too far into it. Reeves, a Mark Coleman look-alike, told Show not to hate on them for taking advantage of the opportunity they were given because he would have done the same thing. Daniel Rodimer bragged about smiling right in his face and said Show did nothing in return. He said he isn't going anywhere so he better get used to him being there. Nick Mitchell danced to prove he's big time. He got booed for the ridiculous dance he did on his ass. He told Show he's big and he didn't realize they stacked crap that high. He'll be first voted out just based on his bad judgement by choosing to dance. His one-liner was okay, but not enough to offset the dance. Justice Smith cut an NBA-like promo. He said Show went to the smallest man in the locker room and asked what that was all about. Finally, Puder reacted to Show shoving him across the locker room. "You think that hurt? I got three words for you - snap, crackle, and pop, because when I'm done with you, your arms and legs will be broken."
Snow then told each contestant they'd have a chance to tell him to his face. Show came out and told them to back up. He called out Rodimer and slapped at him. Rodimer ducked. The contestants are so big, they made Big Show almost look normal-sized. Show said he is going to bodyslam each of them to find out how tough they are. He slammed Reeves first. Miz was second. He slapped Mitchell before slamming him. Nawrocki took the worst looking bump of them all. Smith wasn't much better, and Show gave him an elbow drop afterward. That left Rodimer who kept talking trash. Show got in his face, then slammed him, then kneed his sternum. I'm with Vince McMahon on this. I think it looked fine on TV. It's not as if the bodyslam is a finishing move, and everyone sold it at first pretty well. I think Steph's point of view and those who agreed with her are that they shouldn't have been standing up all facing Show as the segment came to an end, but should have still been selling. Overall, it made for good TV.
1 -- CHAVO GUERRERO vs. NUNZIO
When Kidman joined Cole and Tazz at ringside, he said he was there to show support for Chavo during his first match back. Cole said, "Are you trying to these great Smackdown fans you are here to support Chavo Guerrero?" It's so patronizing when Cole says "great Smackdown fans." Cole pressed the issue, asking Kidman if he intentionally tried to hurt Chavo. He said last time was an accident, but next time would be on purpose. Cole said many people consider Chavo the greatest Cruiserweight Champion in Smackdown history. When Kidman gave Tazz a hard time about having never been to the top rope, Tazz said he never had to climb to the top rope. Cole told Kidman he can claim it's hard to control the move, but it's not hard to control knocking someone off a stretcher. Kidman said that having carpal tunnel syndrome doesn't make him an expert on anything that goes on in the ring. Tazz laughed and said it was a good line. At 5:00 when Chavo was stunned on the mat, Kidman went for his Shooting Star Press. Chavo moved. Chavo then finished off Nunzio with a Gory Bomb for the win.
-Josh Matthews interviewed JBL and Orlando Jordan. Matthews pointed out that JBL losing last week to Booker T in a tag match is the first time he's been pinned since before WrestleMania 21. JBL said last time he was pinned was in a tag match, too, and that one-on-one he'll easily beat Booker. Booker entered the picture and exchanged words with JBL. Teddy Long entered the picture and booked Jordan vs. Booker later and if Booker won, he would get a title shot at Survivor Series.
-Heidenreich was shown talking backstage on the phone, begging Paul Heyman to do whatever it took to convince Undertaker to face him. He said he needed the match. He sounded pleased with what Heyman told him in response.
-A video package aired of the Smackdown the Vote tour with the WWE injured reservists at Sacred Heart University.
-Paul Heyman was shown in a dark room speaking across a table presumably to Undertaker. He kissed up to Undertaker, thanking him for meeting with him, saying how much he respected him. Then he said that Heidenreich was responsible for the idea of crashing the Bronco into the hearse he was in at No Mercy, costing him the WWE Title. He said he already signed the contract on behalf of Heidenreich even though the match wasn't his idea. He said the match was even against his better judgement because he knows how mad he must be. Undertaker's tattooed arm then reached across the table and grabbed the contract. He signed it, but made it clear he wasn't buying any of Heyman's talk. He grabbed Heyman by his throat and said, "Let bygones be bygones. I gave you a pass with the Paul Bearer situation, but don't think for one minute I won't take you out." He said he wants Heyman to see what happens when someone crosses him. It was nice to hear them actually acknowledge something (Paul Bearer angle) that took place more than three or four weeks ago. What does it say about Undertaker that he gave Heyman "a pass" regarding the death of the man who Taker said meant more to him than anyone in his life. Pretty gracious guy, actually. The segment was well done. Heyman was stellar in getting across the kiss-ass nature of his character while showing fear for Taker. Heyman is Taker's best friend and may not realize because he keeps Taker's character fresh by being a great protagonist for him.
-A video package aired on Mick Foley's "Wrescal Lane" children's book.
2 -- KURT ANGLE vs. REY MYSTERIO
Luther Reigns and Mark Jindrak were banned from ringside. They went through a three minute feel-out process before turning it up another gear, but it was a good build with good facial expresses and body language in reaction to each other. At 4:30 Angle belly-to-belly suplexed Mysterio over the top rope. They cut to a break.
Angle kept control for several minutes. Mysterio made a comeback at 10:00 and scored a near fall after a bulldog. Mysterio went for a 619, but Angle moved. He went for a flying forearm, but hit the ref by mistake. He set up another 619, but Jindrak knocked Angle out of the way and took the blow for him. Luther Reigns gave Mysterio a backbreaker. RVD ran out to make the save, giving Reigns and Jindrak a pair of dropdown jump spin wheelkicks. Angle gave Mysterio an Angle Slam. Cole declared the match "for all intents and purposes over." That meant Angle wasn't going to win, by the way. Sure enough, Eddie Guerrero ran out and gave Angle a Frog Splash, then put Mysterio on top of Angle. The ref came to and counted to three.
WINNER: Mysterio in 13:00.
STAR RATING: **3/4 -- Very good TV match.
-Kenzo Suzuki walked in on Torrie Wilson in the dressing room. She told him he was freaking her out. Torrie's acting is getting better. It's almost reached the point of Tori Spelling on her first year of 90210.
-Long told a heated Kurt Angle and Eddie Guerrero backstage that they can each pick out three partners to go head-to-head with each other at Survivor Series. Cole said it's been a few years since they had an old-style Survivor Series tag match at the PPV. Cole then said Cena's kidney is recovering. Tazz said he talked to him on the phone and he seemed to be in good spirits.
-Josh interviewed Carlito Cool and his new bodyguard Jesus (West Coast indy wrestler Hardcore Kid, real name Aaron Aguilera), who roughed up Josh. Josh asked Carlito if there is truth the rumor that he was in the same nightclub as Cena the night he was stabbed. Carlito said, "I don't like rumors; rumors aren't cool." (He makes it sound cooler than it reads.) He said he had nothing to hide. He said Cena was acting like a punk and had a lot to say about others. He said apparently someone took offense, but he left before the incident. "John Cena is a thug, and thugs, they're not cool." He then told Josh that he's not cool. Jesus then held Josh at Carlito spit apple in his face. It's going to take Josh at least 30 minutes to fix his hair.
-Cole introduced Torrie Wilson and Dawn Marie for a Halloween Contest. When Dawn began talking about nursing Charlie Haas back to health, and added, "I love you, too!" that drew Jackie out from the back. Jackie yanked off Dawn's nurse outfit off of her. Jackie and Dawn have the best cat fights. Dawn's left bra strap broke, but nothing showed that shouldn't have.
-Big Show talked to Guerrero backstage, telling him to "make the right decision" about the eight-man tag. He said he has big issues with Angle, Jindrak, and Reigns. He demanded to be the fourth member of his team along with RVD and Mysterio. Guerrero said the match is about "four people coming together as one," not about individual issues. Guerrero said he has thought "long and heard about it." He just found out, like, four minutes ago. If that fits his definition of "long and hard," he's probably disappointed a lot of women in his life. He then revealed Show was his choice after all. Show was happy.
-The Raw Rebound aired.
-Angle expressed concern to Jindrak and Reigns about Show being part of Guerrero's team. Spike, D-Von, and Bubba Dudley walked up to them. Spike proposed Angle choose one of them to be on their team. Angle said if they can take out Show, there'll be a place on his team for a Dudley. Spike agreed. D-Von and Bubba weren't happy. Spike told them he had a plan and to trust them. D-Von and Bubba seemed skeptical and frustrated.
-Highlights aired of the Tough Enough segments earlier.
3 -- ORLANDO JORDAN vs. BOOKER T
When talking about Teddy Long's stipulation, he actually said "playa." Somebody really needs to take Cole aside and have a little chat. Teddy Long won't ever talk about "great Smackdown fans" with the inflection of Captain Kangaroo and Cole ought to be smart enough to never try to say "playa." Booker dominated the majority of the first six minutes. He eventually took the fight to the floor and got in JBL's face. They cut to a break.
Cole said, "Sorry to interrupt you, partner," to Tazz. I wish Tazz would just slap him when he calls him that. It's so patronizing. That's what you say to an eight year old boy who hits a double in tee-ball, not a grown man who could snap your head off if he wanted to (well, I'm sure Tazz wants to, it's just a matter of self-control so far). Jordan flew off the top rope with a bodyblock, but Booker rolled through for a near fall. Jordan went into a chinlock at 14:00. Booker wiggled his leg to show that he was both in great pain and trying hard to escape. As booker began to rise, it was so obvious there were several inches of space to get his head out of Jordan's grip, it was ridiculous. Someone needs to fine wrestlers for doing that because it just ruins the mood when you get into a match. A chinlock is boring enough, but then to add all that light to the hold is inexcusable. Booker escaped, but Jordan stomped away at Booker in the corner. At 15:00 Booker came back with a Flapjack. Booker went on to score a series of two counts. As he punched Jordan in the corner, JBL jumped onto the ring apron. Booker knocked him to the floor. He then gave Jordan his scissors kick for the pin. Cole actually said, "He's going to do it!" before the pin and there was a three count. I can't believe Cole gave away the finish like that. It took away all suspense.
WINNER: Booker T in 18:00
STAR RATING: **1/4 -- Solid, above-average match. That chinlock escape, while not unusual, was really bad.
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