By Mallory Mahling, Torch Team Contributor

WWE Raw "Virtual Time" Alternative Perspective Coverage
October 4, 2004
Live from New York City, New York
Aired on Spike TV
Report by Mallory Mahling, Torch Team Contributor

Ongoing Alternative Perspective Review of the Show

RIP, Marianna Komlos.

Raw was live tonight from Madison Square Garden in New York City.

Quarter Hour 1

The show started with a recap of last week's old-school promos by Ric Flair and Randy Orton, and Flair's chair shot to Randy Orton that had eliminated him as a contender for Triple H's title at Taboo Tuesday.

Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler welcomed viewers to the show.

Ric Flair and Triple H made their way to the ring. Both were looking dapper in suits and ties. Triple H was also wearing shades. (Joe Cool.)

Flair wanted to clarify something. Last week when he said Triple H was the greatest wrestler alive, he'd been wrong. Triple H was the greatest wrestler of all time. Flair said he was the only man in the business who could say that. For safety reasons, Randy had been barred from the building, added Flair. The subject turned to virgins, since Flair said Orton was one when it came to killing legends, and Flair shared a bit too much information. Then said he wanted a match with Orton at Taboo Tuesday.

Triple H grabbed the mic and mocked the fans who'd be voting on his opponent for Taboo Tuesday. He even mocked the Rock.

Chris Jericho headed out, mic in hand. He told viewers not to adjust their sets; it was not a rerun of last week's show. He polled the Jerichoholics and asked who thought Triple H was the greatest wrestler today.

Boo!

"Is he the greatest wrestler of all time?" asked Jericho.

Boo!

Then he asked if Triple H was the biggest horse's ass of all time.

"YAY!" came the enthusiastic response.

Jericho took credit for coming up with the idea for an interactive pay-per-view and concluded by calling Triple H a "sanctimonious son of a bitch."

Quarter Hour 2

The audience was shocked and Flair turned purple.

Jericho appeared to be walking away, but he was only getting a steel chair. As he headed toward the ring, Batista attacked him, and it turned into a 3-on-1 assault. Chris Benoit ran out to make the save. Edge soon joined them, and he speared Triple H.

Flair had to help Triple H up the ramp.

(Commercial break)

Jonathan Coachman was backstage talking to Christian and Tyson Tomko. Captain Charisma simultaneously insulted New Yorkers and Shawn Michaels.

(1) Shawn Michaels pinned Christian (w/Tyson Tomko). Christian started by poking Michaels in the chest with his finger. Michaels slapped his sassy face. And the match was on. Michaels controlled early, but Christian grabbed a handful of Michaels' long hair and slammed him to the mat.

Quarter Hour 3

Michaels slung Christian into the turnbuckle, then tuned up for some Sweet Chin Music. Tomko pulled Christian to safety. Tomko ended up eating the Sweet Chin Music when the match spilled to the outside.

(Commercial break)

Back from the break, J.R. explained by Tomko had to be helped to the back during the break. Also during the break, Michaels had tried a high spot, but landed on the guardrail. Christian appeared to have control of the match at that point.

The two collided and the referee began a ten count. Both were up by the count of nine. The Showstopper was in second gear, said J.R. Michaels rained punches on Christian in the corner. Roll-up and near fall by Michaels. Unprettier on Michaels, but he got his shoulder up at the last second when Christian went for the pin. HBK back-dropped Christian off the top turnbuckle, landed an elbow, and played some Sweet Chin Music before going for the pin. The Heartbreak Kid was the very popular winner.

(Commercial break)

J.R. had blockbuster news--tonight's matches would include Benoit vs. Batista and Triple H vs. Chris Jericho.

Todd Grisham had spoken with Lita earlier today. She said she'd gotten herself into "a hell of a predicament." She didn't regret the pregnancy and tearfully said she'd never know what the baby looked like and would never get to hold her baby boy. Snitsky had taken her baby from her.

Grish told her that Snitsky said it wasn't his fault. Lita was enraged. She said she had no love for Kane, but she hoped Kane would do what he says he's going to do. "Snitsky is a dead man," she hissed.

Eric Bischoff was shaking hands with someone and making a deal. It was a hand with red nail polish, but we never got to see who it was. Coach burst in and was surprised to see whoever it was. Coach then tried to weasel his way out of interviewing the Big Snit in the ring. Bischoff agreed that the situation might be volatile and decided J.R. would do the interview.

(Commercial break)

J.R. was in the ring and introduced Gene Snitsky, who came out pushing a baby stroller. He lifted it into the ring and shushed J.R. when he started the interview.

"It wasn't my fault," repeated Snitsky for the millionth time.

Kane's music hit and he strode to the ring purposefully. Snitsky took a lead pipe out of the stroller and began to beat Kane with it. He busted Kane open, then tried to choke him with the pipe.

Snitsky headed up the ramp, and the King called him a dead man walking. (Let's hope so.)

Kane was still in the ring, out cold and bleeding from head wounds.

(Commercial break)

Quarter Hour 5

Moments ago, the badly injured Kane had made his way to the back.

(2) Chris Benoit vs. Batista (w/Ric Flair) was a no contest. Benoit took Batista off his feet right away and worked over his legs. Batista came back with a spinebuster slam, which was followed by a back-breaker. Benoit tried for a sharpshooter, but Batista kicked him away. German suplexes by Benoit, then he signaled for the finish. More suplexes on Batista. Benoit nipped Flair's interference in the bud, but was tossed to the outside, where Flair sent him into the ring post.

Suddenly, Randy Orton was in the ring taking on both Flair and Batista. Bischoff ran out with a swarm of security guards, who grabbed Orton and began to lead him away. Batista jumped the guards, who managed to restore order.

(Commercial break)

Bischoff was in the ring and assured the audience that Orton had been successfully removed from the building. Then he began to discuss Taboo Tuesday, and said Gene Snitsky would face Kane at the Tuesday PPV. It would be a Weapon of Choice Match: (a) a lead pipe, (b) a steel chair, or (c) a steel chain.

Also, every Raw superstar without a match would be on the ballot and eligible to face Chris Jericho for the Intercontinental Title. That would be almost 20 people, and Bischoff told them to meet in his office in 20 minutes.

Lastly, he wanted to talk about his match with his nephew, Eugene, and he called Eugene to the ring. Eugene came out to a good pop. Uncle Eric said someone backstage had a crush on Eugene. It was Carmella. Eric said Carmella would have a match with Christy at Taboo Tuesday. He told Eugene that Carmella had been in Playboy and Eugene blushed.

Carmella (who is a really bad actress) told Eugene how hot he was and said he'd be perfect if he had a bald head. Bischoff suggested that Eugene lose the match on purpose so that Carmella would think he was perfect.

Eugene agreed, but only if his girlfriend would kiss him now. She started to, then refused. Eugene said he wanted to see her boobies. The audience laughed and Carmella was shocked. She proceeded to break his heart and said he was not in her league. Uncle Eric said he admired her style.

Bischoff continued by saying that Carmella was not the only one who didn't like Eugene--nobody liked him.

Not so fast.

Christy's music hit and she came down and stood nose-to-nose with Carmella, then pushed her down. Christy went over to Eugene and planted a kiss on him...a big wet one. Then Christie and Eugene walked to the back, hand-in-hand.

(Commercial break)

Returning from commercial, Sylvain Grenier was caterwauling in the ring. It was supposed to be the Canadian National Anthem.

(3) Tag Team Title Match: La Resistance (Robert Conway & Sylvain Grenier) over Rosey & The Hurricane. Hurricane and Rosey worked as a team to gain the advantage, but Rosey got distracted and Hurricane found himself pinned. Lop-sided, pointless match, that ended with Rosey doing what he should have been doing during the match.

Stacy Keibler had accepted an award on behalf of WWE from the Make A Wish Foundation.

(Commercial break)

A Simon Dean infomercial aired.

Earlier tonight, Edge had speared Triple H. Backstage, Coach asked Edge about his actions. Edge said he'd been through hell and back just to make it onto the ballot. Why should the fans vote for him to face Triple H at Taboo Tuesday? Because he's the one who really deserved it. He wasn't very convincing.

In Bischoff's office, he told the assembled members of the Raw roster that they would be lumberjacks tonight in Jericho's match with Triple H.

Stacy Keibler was stretching for her upcoming match.

(Commercial break)

Trish Stratus had joined J.R. and the King on commentary. She gloated that Christy had lost her very first match to Trish. Trish said Christy was quite the slut. Slut, slut, slut.

(4) Stacy Keibler over Molly Holly. Molly, who's about a foot shorter than Stacy, started by pushing her. Stacy retaliated with a foot on Molly's throat. That didn't last long and Molly took control of the match. Molly charged the corner, but Stacy had moved and Molly fell to the outside. Trish headed to the ring to help Molly, but Stacy surprised Molly with the winning pin. Decent match.

(Commercial break)

Highlights of the Mick Foley/John Bradshaw Layfield debate can be seen on WWE Experience this Sunday.

J.R. said next Monday's Raw would be live from Manchester, England.

(5) Triple H over Chris Jericho. During the commercial, the lumberjacks had surrounded the ring. By the time the Game finished spitting his water and mugging for the camera, it was already the third hour.

Quarter Hour 9

Jericho wanted a match and got things started. Triple H went to the outside, where the babyface lumberjacks tossed him back into the ring. Jericho chopped Triple H, but found himself on the outside being mauled by the heel lumberjacks. The crowd was chanting for Jericho, who attempted the Walls of Jericho. Triple H kicked Jericho out of the ring, and Rhyno tossed him back in. Pedigree attempt by Triple H; Jericho reversed it for the Walls of Jericho, but he dropped Triple H and kicked Flair in the head. Jericho went up top and sailed off the top with a crossbody on the lumberjacks on the outside. Reverse elbow off the top by Jericho, but Rhyno's interference allowed Triple H to pin Jericho. It ended in an all-out brawl, with Randy Orton joining in. He RKO'ed everybody in his path, including Coach (although it was a really sloppy RKO).

As the show went off the air, Orton posed heroically.

***

I love feedback and you can reach me at mallory_m_@hotmail.com. See you in The Lounge on Saturday.

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