DEJ Experience District DEJ District's Eric: How do the new WWE brand rosters shake out as of right now? Jun 24, 2008 - 2:14:26 PM

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As you avid listeners of the DEJ Audio Experience know, we three love traversing the roster pages on WWE.com, snickering at pictures, wondering why So-and-So still has a job, and sometimes cobbling together what we think are rosters superior to what the company currently has.

Well, after last night's WWE Draft on Monday Night Raw, which featured 11 noteworthy moves between Raw, Smackdown, and ECW, I figured those same roster pages were worth another glance. So I took out my trusty notebook, scribbled down who was where, and immediately sent a message to my cohort Jeremy Maes, letting him know I just threw up in my pants. Now, I know there may still be a supplemental draft, or some trades, or things along those lines that mean these new rosters aren't yet set in stone, but it's what we have right now. Seriously, check this out:

Raw's top babyfaces: John Cena, Batista, Kane (who, as ECW Champion, is technically on top of this roster), Shawn Michaels, CM Punk and, when he's healthy enough to return, Rey Mysterio.

Raw's top heels: Randy Orton (when he's healthy enough to return, which will be sooner than we think, as he grunted and grimaced to us last night), Chris Jericho, JBL, ummm, Lance Cade, Ted DiBiase, and I guess Santino Marella and Carlito.

Oof da.

Did you see that two-word sentence up there? That was my tribute to the other smart-ass writers past and present around here.

Anyway, sure, the babyfaces have their muscle and their workers, but we should probably take a wait-and-see approach with Cade and DiBiase as featured heels. But Kane vs. JBL isn't exactly setting the world on fire (what pun?), John Cena's chief rival just left, and I doubt most people are unclasping their pocketbooks to pay for another round of Cena vs. Orton or Cena vs. JBL. At least Punk has some big names to work with, and I suppose Rey Mysterio needed a change of scenery, but are Mysterio vs. Carlito or Punk vs. Santino really the match-ups that are going to bring Raw's ratings above a 3.3?

The rest of the Raw roster looks like this: Trevor Murdoch, DH Smith, Hacksaw Duggan, Val Venis, Super Crazy... Paul Burchill, Charlie Haas, Snitsky, and William Regal, who might be the key to even more fresh contests up top. Add in your four babyface tag teams -- The Fabulous Lovebirds (Cody Rhodes & Bobby Holly), Cryme Tyme, Brian Kendrick & Paul London, and the Highlanders, and you have a roster almost as yawn-worthy as a long-winded, snobby Internet message board post.

And then there's...

Smackdown's top babyfaces: Triple H, Big Show, Jeff Hardy, Mr. Kennedy. One of these things is not like the other, one of these guys just didn't leave Raw...

Smackdown's top heels: Edge, MVP, Umaga, and since he's still on the roster page and he's a former World Heavyweight Champion, the Great Khali.

Friday nights will never be the same! Unless you've been watching Monday nights for the last year.

The rest of the Smackdown roster: Finlay, Jamie Noble, Funaki, and when he's healthy to return and if he's a babyface anyway, Gregory Helms... Mark Henry, Chuck Palumbo, Kenny Dykstra and Vladimir Kozlov. Wow, we've got some real up-and-comers in the undercard, huh? Even Vince Russo would give himself a brainyerism trying to come up with something for each and every one of these guys to do. Don't forget your tag team champions, John Morrison & The Miz, who quite frankly should be split up and nesting near the tops of the Smackdown and ECW rosters, respectively; I think John Morrison is ready for another push on one of the two main TV shows. But until then, they're the top tag team in a pool that includes Jesse & Festus, Jimmy Yang (eventually) & Shannon Moore, Deuce & Domino, and Hawkins & Ryder. Start printing the money now!

And feel free to start shaking your head at ECW's roster now: Matt Hardy, Kofi Kingston, Evan Bourne, Tommy Dreamer, Colin Delaney, Nunzio, Stevie Richards... Chavo Guerrero, Shelton Benjamin, Bam Neely, Mike Knox, Elijah Burke, Big Daddy V, Matt Striker... and somewhere, behind Donald Trump's couch, lurks the Boogeyman. OK, truth be told, there are more match-ups here that I'd like to see than there are on each of the other rosters, but when your babyface side is only six superstars deep, you obviously aren't high on the McMahon priority list.

Since, again, the rosters are likely not finalized, I'm sure Jeremy, Dusty and I will offer the brilliant analysis and insight you've come to expect from us in future audio shows, but for now, I'll leave you with the lingering feeling that we've all been short-changed by this draft, and with the hope that we'll get to hear Mick Foley and Jim Ross and Mick Foley (not a typo) call every four-star Jesse & Festus match MyNetworkTV is lucky enough to air.

Eric Nelson is the "E" in the DEJ Experience. Normally he would post his blog... no, column... no, thoughts (barely) on Thursdays, but he's been busy fishing his belongings out of his basement for a while, so he wanted to play a timely game of catch-up today. Hey, to learn more about the Dan Gable International Wrestling Institute and Museum that Eric loves so much which also recently sustained enough water damage for the associate director to proclaim the building "destroyed," please go to www.wrestlingmuseum.org.

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