DEJ Experience District DEJ Jeremy: The One Hour Raw Experiment Jun 10, 2008 - 9:15:50 AM

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By Jeremy Maes, DEJ Member

Alright, so nothing was coming to me this week as far as one cohesive blog possibility. So, instead of not giving out anything it felt like the right time to try this little Raw experiment that has been kicking around for a while.

Sure Bruce Mitchell does much the same thing but who cares. So here it is, the first attempt at live commentary during a Monday Night Raw. It is no frills, totally reactionary and not thought out. Much like everything else we write.

Hopefully after the draft they get rid of this tiresome song. Hard to believe this song comes from a national recording act with a modicum of popularity. Wait, yes I can.

Wow they are going to give away another potential PPV match with no build up.

Oh god and they are giving away another PPV match for free with no build up but at least this one has happened already. Screw the paying customer.

Should they be using the "No Chance in Hell” song when it comes to this contest? Guess it won’t really matter since most of the people are pretty much stupid enough to think they'll win. On that note, only in WWE would a case of money have its own entrance music. Good topic for discussion would be just what inanimate object has the best entrance music?

Up first are the incredibly overrated Ken Kennedy and his terrible music. So they are going to give away Burchill and Kennedy on free TV instead of building it up for PPV. Is it just me or have they just stopped trying?

Was Kennedy sitting with a newspaper over his lower body? His lack of tan is troubling. So it appears Paul Burchill did one of two things; he mad someone in creative mad or he will end up on WWE.com tomorrow.

Oh wait, Katie Lea, the real star of the duo, gets some close up time and looks stunning. Kennedy on the other hand looks very old.

Good to see some humility on McMahon's face when he dialed the wrong number. Oh yes, the fix is in. Hilarious. Are they even going to disguise this? I mean they are a publicly traded company for god sake. No way is the guy on the phone watching Raw; they are on a tape delay.

I just hung up the phone with Eric and bitched to him how this has to be fixed. Raw is recorded and then played for the West coast feed at the normal East coast time of 9:00 pm. Something just seems fishy but I am willing to accept I am wrong, I just need proof.

Yes, Mickie James is out and this show just got so much better. Wait a damn minute are they giving this match away as well? What the f**k? It’s been really fun seeing Beth go from goodie-goodie in OVW to this hulking beast woman and I mean that as a compliment. I really wish they would announce these as non-title up front so I wouldn’t overreact.

After that match, it is better not to have had that on PPV. Oh brother, here comes the worst female babyface in wrestling. Why would anyone cheer for her? She just isn’t relatable and we have been given no reason to care about her.

These money give away segments are killing the shows flow. At the same time they are making the results of the previous match totally forgettable and that may not be a bad thing tonight.

They have given away some potential PPV match ups for free so may as well make the people forget them.

Eric Nelson just messaged me a great idea I am running with. Vince needs to call someone and then tell him or her they have two whole dollars. Damnit, Eric won't stop so here is what he said.

Eric says: I want to be the lifelong WWF fan and nerdy wrestling podcaster who gets stiffed after all these years, wins two bucks, and then gloats/bitches about it later.

Not sure how much longer I feel like doing this and it is only 9:30. This is better than doing Heat reviews but it still feels like I am watching Heat. There are the same dread and same inconsequential matches and results.

Oh good they remind us that last week they gave away a PPV main event down the road for free last week. Then we get to see Cena and Hunter not kiss but stare in to each other's eyes. Why are they just staring at each other? Were they doing that the entire commercial break? How weird to come back from commercial like that. At least have one interrupt the others preparation or something.

Yuck, here is Vince again. Nice joke at poor Charlie's expense. Oh wait, another joke at Charlie's expense. Get the feeling someone told McMahon he needed a witness to keep it on the up and up. So, since Charlie does nothing nowadays may as well have him play stooge. It has to be that or they realize these segments are dieing.

Yeah I am not sure how long this is going to last. Did I mention that already? I guess having two kids and an out of work mother means you gotta do what ya gotta do to pay the bills. At least Mae got on TV again. Watching Raw now is like a marathon. You have to get past that wall if you are going to make it to the end. Unfortunately, that wall just gets further and further instead of ever being within reach.

Nobody looks natural with that title belt other than John Cena. You know, that promo by JBL could have had a tad bit if humor in it. At the end JBL should have taken a swig of his, um, cough, potency juice, and then he could have head straight for the ring. Some would have laughed at least.

Man they are teasing the feud they should have gone with up to Summerslam. Yes I mean Hunter and JBL. It would have pushed Cena back but that is a match we have not seen before and it involved two huge personalities. Plus, JBL can talk a person in to believing Hunter would lie down for him.

Good to see the veteran presence of JBL come in to play. Cena was in trouble and could not grab the rope so JBL put his leg on the bottom rope to break the pin. Unfortunately they followed it with a horrible roll up win. There is no creative juice running tonight and really, for the last few months.

And that wraps it up for me. This was a first attempt at snarky commentary for Raw. No chance I am doing two hours on my own but Eric thought we may be able to do it as a team so we shall see. Let me know what you thought. Post in the VIP Forum or e-mail me at torchmaes@yahoo.com.

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