By D,E,K,J of the Audio Experience

MattheWWFanatic asks: Is there a good reason not to have un-ending hate for the Chicago Cubs?

Dusty responds: I actually used to be a Cubs fan, growing up. I have always been drawn to underdogs and Cinderella stories, and there's is quite the sad story. I don't hate the Cubs now, but I certainly don't feel the same way about them that I once did. Mostly because of their fans, who like to take over Miller Park during Brewer games, and then leave in the seventh. How do you guys like the Secret Stadium Sauce?

Kevin responds: Up until this year, I didn't have an unending hate of the Cubs but I do now. First, Mark Cuban has lost his way and instead of keeping up the pressure on the ownership of his hometown Pirates, he has moved on to possibly purchasing the Cubs. Second, the Pirates are only two games below .500 but only because they're 3-9 against the Cubs but 21-17 against the rest of the league. If there's ever a reason to hate a team, it's got to be because they may ruin a legitimate attempt for the Pirates to be .500 for the first time in fifteen years.

Eric responds: God, no. Hate hate hate. If you want to cheer on a major league baseball team from Chicago, there are plenty out there to choose from that are better than the Cubs. The only thing good the Cubbies had going for them was $1 Old Styles at the Deadwood in Iowa City during televised Cubs games, but last time I went, the bar switched to PBR for no good reason. What's the point?

Jeremy responds: Why should anyone care about the Cubs? Seriously? How can you have an opinion of them either way? They don’t matter and have never mattered in the history of Baseball. Any team that places their misfortunes on a goat or a boob in a turtle neck should never mater. There is no real way I can say I hate them and I cannot condone anyone giving that much attention to a team who is insignificant.

Jdb1982 asks: Dusty what is your favorite era or eras of Deep Purple. I'm cool with any Blackmore group myself, so MKI-MKIII, at some point I'll try out the other Marks.

Dusty responds: I love you, Jdb. Awesome question. Let me get one thing out of the way right away. I HATE in all caps Mark III. David Coverdale and Glenn Hughes were trash, and it was Coverdale's trashiness that drove Richie Blackmore out of the band. Marks I and II were both excellent in completely different ways, but if I have to choose one over the other, I'd actually go with I. They had this real laid back hippy vibe that suited Rod Evans' voice perfectly, and they just ever so subtly hinted at the metal that was to come later. It was neat, a tad messy, a bit formative sounding. Pure rock and roll. So that's my pick, although admittedly when Evans was turfed and Ian Gillan was brought in, metal perfection was unleashed. Highway Star is one of the best songs ever. But so, maybe, is Hush.

Kevin responds: The only thing I know about Deep Purple, and who cares if this wasn’t directed towards me, is that they have an album named Machine Head. If Deep Purple's responsible for helping to name the best band in heavy metal right now, Machine Head obviously, then we owe them a debt of gratitude.

Eric responds: Deep Purple? Dusty Giebink?

Jeremy responds: They sing “Smoke on The Water,” right? If that is not them then I have no idea who Deep Purple is and that is good since this question was aimed at Dusty. Now if you had been talking about Mortal Kombat I-III, I would have to go with the original. There was nothing like it at the time and after seeing “wheel-chair guy” at Kent State get so mad at losing he fell out of his chair only to grab the joystick to catch himself and slowly pull himself back to safety makes me smile. Before you judge it must be known that I am not the bad guy in this, he was universally known around campus for being a total ass and deserving of scorn regardless of his condition.

Pat13 asks: What is my total weight, in kilograms?

Dusty responds: My favorite number is 13. Your kilogrammy weight is 832.

Kevin responds: I'm a little disappointed that we weren't able to guess Pat13's weight in stones like the Highlanders. In honor of our English contingent that makes frequent stops on the Torch, I will try and answer this question. The average weight of an American male is one hundred and ninety pounds which rounds up to eighty-seven kilograms. Considering that Pat13 is on the Torch message board means that he's not an average American, so I'd have to peg him at being in better shape than average so I'll go with eighty kilograms.

Eric responds: Is this Nikita Koloff? That would be awesome. Except, remember at Halloween Havoc 1992 when you willingly wrestled Big Van Vader as Rick Rude's substitute? That was Mistake No. 1. The second error in your judgment was trying to give Vader the Russian Sickle while he was standing against the unforgiving steel post outside the ring. (Not to mention Vader had moved about 25 seconds before you started running at him. Not your finest moment, Nikita.)

Jeremy responds:That would be eleventy billion. Who actually knows this crap any longer? Kevin DiFrango; that’s who.

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