By Jeremy Maes, DEJ Experience Member

We made our way inside the stadium and immediately the scope of things hit us. Since we were at the top of the Citrus Bowl we had an unobstructed view of the stadium and the surrounding area. We could even see the Doubletree Hotel where Mel and I stayed before the rest of the ruffians arrived to Orlando. Basically on this clear, warm late afternoon day we could see for miles and it was a beautiful sight. From one view you got the downtown skyline and from another you could see all the way to International Drive and beyond.

As we sat there waiting for the show to start I noticed there was an empty baseball field next to the stadium. They already had the lights on and there were some white vans parked in the outfield along with some tents. I instantly thought they were going to have Ric Flair arrive in a helicopter to kick off his final match. I shared this with Eric, who admitted he would start crying right there if they did that. Internally, I wondered what happened to Eric and debated if throwing him down the stands would be worth it.

A few rows down from us we saw another person in costume. This person was dressed in a Kane outfit from back when Kane was relevant and interesting. He had the full red and black body suit on, and he sure did fill it out. This person also had on the fluffy wig and the classic Kane mask. Some willing fan handed over their child to this costumed fan and held him up for pictures. It seemed like fake Kane was actually holding the child up for auction or silently asking if someone had lost this small, blonde, white boy. Mel inquired why anyone would do that, and I really had no answer other than,” Rednecks?”

We all started to notice the temperature dropping as the winds started to pick up inside the stadium. Down in the lower section, the flags were blowing right to left while the flags on top of the stadium were blowing out away from the WrestleMania set. It was still sunny out at least so the sun was enough to keep us warm. Seeing how the lowest temperature at night had been 70 degrees, we were all dressed in shorts and T-shirts for those keeping score for later on.

On the video screens they tested the different graphics and this was the first time I could remember seeing JBL’s additional graphics. His scrolling ticker of fake stocks was amusing. The stock markers were actually initials for different people and wrestlers. JBL of course had his own initials in the ticket and of course, his was worth the most. Chavo’s name appeared on the screen as well and it elicited a noticeable groan from those around us. They also ran through the MITB crawler, CM Punk’s crawler and Edge’s. It was interesting as they tweaked each one for clarity and color. One time it would go by a tad darker and the next a little lighter but fuzzy. You would have thought all of this would have been handled beforehand.

Out of the blue, our show compadre CaptainEvers called me. Like a dummy I asked him where he was sitting since we knew he was on the floor. He gave me some inaudible directions, and I realized what a tool I was for asking. How would I see an ant from an airplane? He said he was off the ramp and I still couldn’t make him out. Oh well, it was worth a shot. I am sure he felt the same way.

The battle royal started off the show, and it really showed just how long the ramp was down to the ring. The wrestlers started off the size of M.U.S.C.L.E. figures and as they made their way to the ring they became the size of G.I. Joes (The plastic ones who fought Cobra and The Headman). Okay, maybe not that big, but they grew to maybe the size of a MASK driver.

One of the hidden gems of this battle royal was the fact that Festus had to stay in character the entire way back up the ramp. Since there was no bell he had to keep freaking out. Jesse kept pushing him back and cutting him off as he tried getting back in the ring. The sheer length of the ramp made this a spectacle and rather funny after a while. Poor Festus, he had to keep in character where everyone else just got to walk back at a normal speed.

As soon as the show started, the clouds rolled in and the temperature dropped about 10 degrees. We came prepared with ponchos in the event it started a downpour but it thankfully never came. The winds would pick up from time to time, and being in shorts and a T-shirt made for some chilly feelings. The winds did help, though, when it came to clearing out the fireworks smoke. You could see the clouds of smoke move over the stadium like a ghost. In some cases it took but a few seconds for it to clear, unlike being in an arena.

They introduced all of the announcers, and Jerry Lawler came out last. The last time I was at a Raw taping, Jim Ross came out last and got the biggest reaction. This time around Jerry Lawler got a bigger reaction. For some reason I found – and still find – this strange. In case anyone cares, Jonathan Coachman got the reaction a child molester normally receives. The crowd booed at first and then quickly turned venomous – well, at least up in the cheap seats.

Lillian Garcia came down and introduced the show and gave all the rules, blah blah blah. Kevin just glazed over, and a small trickle of drool seeped from the side of his face. Lillian actually got through her speech with no flubs and then told us we were going live in three minutes. She then proceeded to stand in the ring and wave at people for the remainder of her time, looking very lost. At the same time, the crew rolled out the piano for John Legend. Lillian also told us that jets would be buzzing the stadium at the completion of “America the Beautiful.”

John Legend absolutely tore it up singing “America the Beautiful,” and when the jets flew over the stadium it was a real moment. None of us had been anywhere that the jets did a pass over so that was a genuine first time experience. It wasn’t as loud as I expected also.

The show finally started and it started with the happy moment of Hornswoggle returning. People cheered louder for him than they did for Finlay. It made me wonder what Finlay thought of all of this. As for the match, it was an awkward mess with a weird ending. JBL never appeared to be in any danger of losing. He even bullied Hornswaggle some more and ended up winning. The bully got away with being just that. Since they were going to push JBL back at the main event level, it made sense, but the kids certainly were not happy.

As the show went on, the temperature continued to dropped. The clouds rolled in almost immediately as the show started and the winds started gusting. It got real chilly at the top of this concrete hump of a stadium.

The Money In The Bank match made the crowd happy with the reappearance of Matt Hardy and the eventual winner, CM Punk. At first it didn’t seem like anyone believed this was the end, but as others made their way back up, the ramp the cheers got louder. It was a nice surprise, and the crowd – especially all of the kids around us – really enjoyed his win.

The Batista vs. Umaga match didn’t really register with anyone. The crowd popped loud for Batista, and that didn’t sit well with the TNA fan with the “Batista is the Worst Wrestler Alive” shirt. Actually it was a TNA shirt that he wrote on the back of. The fact that he took the time to write that with his Sharpie was sort of sad. The match was just boring. Batista clearly wasn’t motivated, and when he nearly botched the Batista Bomb, it killed the ending. No one around us thought that would be the end, so when the ref hit three there were a lot of murmurs of “That’s it?”

Mel and Emily left their seats to gather some food and they missed the entire ECW title match. Actually, I missed the entire match as well. I was staring off in the distance taking in the scenery. It seemed like it took Chavo thirty minutes to get to the ring. As it turns out his entrance was longer than the match. Apparently I zoned out and only heard a slam and the final count of three. I heard Eric laugh and it brought me back to reality. The girls were also walking up the stands and Mel asked what happened. I had to fill her in as best as I could based off of information from Eric and the people around me.

Then came the moment I believe most of the people in the Citrus Bowl were waiting for. Shawn Michaels made his way down the aisle and was met with a mix of cheers and boos, with the cheers eventually winning out. WWE smartly delayed Ric Flair a bit and the entire stadium was filled with “wooos.” When his music hit the crowd went nuts and you could se the expression on Ric’s face from the bleachers. It helped having the large video screens, of course, but his face gave away the fact he was losing. Fortunately for Eric there was no helicopter and no crying, so he was safe for the time being.

Ric really took in the crowd as he slowly made his way to the ring. Once he got there the crowd grew louder and he seemed more touched and further established he was losing. None of this took away from the match. Flair and Michaels had a classic match with a dramatic ending that no one in the stands complained about. Sure, it hurt a lot of die-hard Flair fans that clearly didn’t see the writing on the wall. There was the guy with his championship belt speechless and then yelling “Flair, Flair, Flair” over and over that no one picked up on. The kids didn’t seem to care as much since Shawn Michaels won the match.

Flair soaked up the crowd's adulation for a while but for my tastes, left the ring much too quickly. He walked up the ramp slowly and repeatedly turned to the crowd. The tears on his face were genuine, and the tears welling in Kevin’s eyes were as well. It was a hard moment to be sad about. It was the right time. It was a great match. Maybe if the circumstances had been different and Flair had lost a fluke to Carlito then it would have been sad. Instead it was a fitting end to a great career. Maybe if he had won, it would have been more emotional. The loss was deflating and maybe that took away some of my own emotions. Regardless, it was still a magical moment (sorry for the cliché, but it was). There were even some raindrops after it ended and Ric had blown his kisses to the audience. Make of that what you will.

We all needed a break after the match, and fortunately we saw the WWE crew roll out Snoop’s pimped out golf cart and we knew we could zone out for a few more minutes. Snoop clearly understands what it takes to be a wrestler. Being a rapper, he is in the self-promotion game and is probably better at promos than three-fourths of the WWE roster. He provided a real moment of fun in what was going to be a hellish match: Bunnymania. The match started and then the fun began. The lighting rig went down and with it the televisions around the ring. The women had to wrestle in darkness and it totally distracted the crowd.

You could see WWE crew members running around frantically trying to get the power back but after a while it was clear they had a big problem on their hands. The wrestlers never stopped the match and it didn’t seem to hurt the quality of the bout. The right person won the match. Snoop got his moment in the sun, but we were all watching the WWE crew running around.

Up next was the real surprise of the evening when the video screens started the recap of the triple threat match. The placement of the match seemed odd as it seemed to be a given that Triple H and John Cena would be in the main event. As the crowd buzzed, a marching band ined up on the stage. No one had any clue why they were there. When they started playing the crowd was still lost. Finally, Eric figured it out and told us it was John Cena’s music. Apparently people around us must have heard him as the news spread fast.

Triple H got his big entrance, but in person it was not that big of deal; seeing it on television, it was much better looking. Randy Orton came out next with no fanfare whatsoever. Apparently his winning the match was predicated on having all of his pyro chopped out. It could have also been because they realized his boring exterior would have sucked the energy out of the explosives.

The match suffered at first with the lighting rig still being down. WWE was in a no-win situation, though, as the match went on and they started restoring power. People in the stands were more distracted with the lighting than the match. By the end the crowd had returned to the match, but it was too late, as the finish came out of nowhere.

Randy winning brought out a visceral reaction from Kevin and me. We are no Randy Orton fans but for some reason seeing the entire stadium deflate when he won sent us over the edge and we went crazy. After a bit though we realized Orton won and it was time for the gloom of more Orton promos and matches on Raw.

Big Show match elicited the exact response you would expect. Big Show was the face, and Floyd Mayweather was booed with fervor. The crowd wanted to see Mayweather get chokeslammed so when the end came there was a very vocal part of our section that was none too happy. I can see the point now. Mayweather is not a wrestler, so a return trip isn’t likely. There was no problem with Big Show losing the way he did, but without that payoff it seemed cheap.

The crowd was deflated and the winds had really started picking up by this point which caused the crowd to start emptying from the top of the stadium. The 70-degree temperatures were a thing of the past as the temps dipped to the high 50s. We were all cold, shivering and getting tired but we had one more match to stick out. We could have left since the end was predictable, and in hindsight, we should have.

The match itself was a blur. The winds had gotten so bad it was hard to concentrate and it seemed like we all were too timid to ask if anyone wanted to leave. Finally the match ended and the wrong person won. Undertaker's shoulders were clearly down when he performed his chokehold and should have been counted down, but never mind logic. Eric and I argued that point as Undertaker celebrated in the ring. They started shooting off the fireworks, and we turned to see the streamer fireworks go off.

As I watched I noticed the first one went down the wire with no problem. I turned and looked at the one above us and it just sat there burning lightly. It never went off at full force. The third firework in succession did nothing. It never lit and never went down the wire. When I turned back to the first again I noticed the second shot just sat there and burned. It was clear it should not have done that. The one above us went off without a hitch, but the third string lit and then lit the first failed firework and melted through the cable.

It fell in to the stands and started going off along with the remaining fireworks. The one above us did the same thing but they moved down the cable just enough to fall in an unoccupied area of the bleachers since people had left early. It was a confusing scene as we had fireworks going off all around us and we had nowhere to go. I grabbed Mel’s head and covered her up, which is stupid looking back on it. Eric just sort of stood there not knowing what to do and Kevin and Emily sat there for the same reason. You couldn’t run down the bleachers as you would risk breaking your neck falling over the seats. If you stayed put you ran the risk of getting burned. What a damned position we were in. Finally, after what seemed like an hour, all settled down. We had dodged a bullet and I told the group, “Let’s get the f**k out of here.”

We made our way out and we could see some people breathing heavily but they fortunately had the wind on their side. The damned wind may have made us cold but it blew the smoke out fast. As we made our way down the spiraling ramp we saw some people with ice packs on and sweating badly with looks of relief and fear on their faces.

Once we got outside it was a quick walk back to the buses. We were back on the bus and on our way in 15 minutes. The ride back was a tad longer since people clearly cannot recognize a fully loaded bus traveling in the center lane. It was amazing seeing people just walk out in front of a fully mobile bus and then stare at it as if they were surprised it was there in the first place.

We got back to the car and were on our way. We all figured traffic would be a mess but we made it back to the hotel in about 16 minutes. It took us a shorter amount of time to get back and forth to WrestleMania than it did ROH. How this makes any sense is beyond me.

We got back to the hotel, recorded our audio, and were off to O’Shucks for our final night. We arrived after a brisk walk and had one final night of drinks and karaoke. We sat around drinking and all agreed we had to get together before next year. Of course we also agreed to this exact same thing last year as well, and it didn’t happen. It dawned on us that the cast of the local pirates dinner show had infested the bar, and they were horrible. They sang terrible songs and were just obnoxious. Now, coming from me, this makes these people terrible.

Once we got kicked out of O’Shucks for the final time we hit the same After Party Wagon and got our delicious greasy food. Eric acted like a regular and asked for a hot dog with everything, and we all enjoyed the now warming night.

We had accomplished a lot in three days. We sat in traffic for no reason, Eric and I accosted a helpless wrestler with our douchebaggery, I made an ass out of myself interviewing Larry Sweeney, Kevin was mystified by the ingredients of a simple hot dog, and then to top it off we almost got burned up by fireworks. It may have been frustrating for a good deal of the trip but it was still an experience, one we all hope to repeat next year, just without the pyro, the traffic, and the complications.

Jeremy Maes is the “J” of the DEJ Audio Experience. You can listen to that group of organized crime perpetrators every Wednesday night on the member’s portion of PWTorch.com. You can read Jeremy’s thoughts every Sunday on PWTorch.com. You can even contact Jeremy or any member of the DEJ faction on the PWTorch VIP Forum, or by email at torchmaes@yahoo.com.