WWE house show
September 7, 2003
Fort Lauderdale, Fla.
Report by Mike Fitzgerald, PWTorch.com correspondent

The Office Depot Arena is probably a fourth full or so with most of the lower bowl filled. This Smackdown House show starts with the Smackdown announcer coming out and introducing Sable. Sable comes down and says that she talked to Vince earlier today and even though he isn't gonna be here tonight (started with boos and then went to cheers) that he would leave the Main Event and the night in her more then capable hands. She said that the Main Event would now be a Handicap match of the pair of the Big Show and Brock Lesnar versus Kurt Angle. I checked the website and they didn't post an event card so I'm wondering where the event card was but whatever. Sable starts to leave as the music cues up for the first superstar out...

(1) Eddie Guerrero defeated John Cena. "You think your untouchable?" Yo yo yo thuganomics John Cena comes down the entrance and flirts with Sable as she's on her way out (excellent moment). Cena comes out in a Donovan McNabb jersey and starts laying down some Thuganomics. Cracks on Miami saying they deserved to lose versus the Gators, saying that the Dolphins thought they were big ballers and lost to the Texans, and that Fort Lauderdale just plain sucks which drew big heat. Viva la raza !! Eddie comes down through the aisles of the crowd and ambushes Cena...they fight around awhile and John Cena holds an amazing stalling suplex for like 6 seconds. Eddie starts to his triple suplexs and in the middle of it Cena pulls the ref close to him and low blows Eddie. A bit later the ref bumps and Eddie shines the titlebelt on Cena's head and plays dead for the reviving ref before he covers Cena for the 1-2-3. Excellent starter.

(2) Basham Brothers (w/Shaniqua) defeated "Bad Ass" Billy Gunn & Jamie Noble. Shaniqua and the Basham Brothers come out first and do their schtick and then the faces come out. The Bashams are hesitant to lock up with Billy Gunn and Billy gives them the suck it taunt a few times. The match starts and Billy Gunn dominates. Jamie Noble tags himself in and then gets beat down by the Bashams...they do a cobra clutch hold on Noble while the ref is chastising Billy and switch out which Brother is in the ring and the ref doesn't notice the difference. Good spots are a swinging Rock bottom by Billy, a Shake-rattle-and rollish neckbreaker by Jamie Noble, and a sweet catapult bulldog double team by the Bashams. End came on a whip shot to the forehead of Jamie Noble by Shaniqua (she whiffed pretty badly though).

(3) Matt Hardy V 1.0 (w/Shannon Moore) beat Rhyno. Rhyno plays heel in the matchup and mocks Matt Hardy by doing the Mattitude hand signal when he's in control of the match. Rhyno tries drawing extra heat by saying "Who's the man?" "Cena," a fan replies. This match Rhyno does more mat work then I remember him doing before - lots of suplexes and working the sleeper. Matt Hardy hits a nice side-effect and sets up Rhyno for the Twist of Fate. Rhyno fights out of it and throws him into the corner setting Hardy up for the Gore. Shannon Moore jumps in the ring and takes the Gore for Matt, Matt grabs Rhyno and gives him the Twist of Fate for the win.

(4) Rey Misterio Jr. defeated Ultimo Dragon to retain the Cruiserweight Title. The announcer announces the participant as being from Japan and I'm expecting to Tajiri since it was Tajiri vs. Misterio on Smackdown...but looking over into the Runway the person was shiny...very shiny. Looking closer he's wearing a purple cape and a costume. Ultimo Dragon ! Sweet ! So it's Ultimo Dragon vs. Rey Misterio for the Cruiserweight Championship. Rey Misterio is very over with this crowd... tons of Rey Misterio masks and t-shirts in the crowd and selling. Rey comes out in his Yellow pants and Yellow mask. They matchup and start off with the basics of armdrags, dropkicks, and come to a standoff. Ultimo Dragon offers a handshake and Misterio takes it and its successful, wow I'm so programmed to see a double cross of a handshake its shocking not to see one now. They continue on and Ultimo Dragon lands some STIFF kicks right to Mysterio's sternum knocking him down. Ultimo Dragon dominates the match before getting knocked out of the ring and Misterio does a suicide splash from the inside to the outside on him. They work back into the ring and it looks like Ultimo Dragon is gonna hit a dragonsteiner on Misterio but Misterio holds him there for a second and Ultimo Dragon turns it into a super-jawbreaker off the top rope (nice) and Ultimo had to adjust his mask after the fall. Rey starts coming back hitting a huracanrana'd and such starts picking up the pace...Misterio comes of the ropes and Ultimo Dragon grabs him and puts him in something that looks like a tilt-a-whirl powerslam but he has behind his head and he turns it into a super-RKO-Diamond Cutter-Sable Bomb move that was just amazing.... Move of the night hands down. Ultimo continues with the stiff kicks and sets up Misterio for his Dudley Dog-ish move but Misterio throws him into the turnbuckle and knocks him into the middle of the rope and gives him the 6-1-9 with camera flashes blazing ! Misterio bounces off the top rope and splashes Ultimo Dragon for the pin 1-2-3. Excellent match.

(5) Spanky & Billy Kidman & Orlando Jordan beat The F.B.I. The announcer goofs and says the next match is gonna be for the Tag Team Titles but its actually a 3 on 3. The F.B.I (Nunzio, Stamboli, and Palumbo) vs. the makeshift team of Spanky, Billy Kidman, and Orlando Jordan. The section I was in seemed to be Spanky fans and he did a great job of showcasing in this match. Oddly Orlando Jones seemed to be cheered on pretty strong by the rest of the crowd. Match starts out Nunzio versus Spanky and the first action of note is a hot tag to Orlando Jordan, Jordan comes in and leapfrogs over Nunzio and tries to do a blind leapfrog over Nunzio but lands on him. They continue and Nunzio tags out to Palumbo and Kidman does a blind tag on Orlando. Palumbo is running the ropes and Orlando does a dive forcing him to jump him right into a perfect Billy Kidman dropkick. Match degenerates into some quick action with highlights of : Spanky nailing Nunzio with a nice Enzuigiri, Stamboli nailing Orlando for an elbow drop when he tried to roll outta the way, and Spanky taking a nasty kick to the head by Palumbo. Palumbo accidentally superkicked Stamboli holding Kidman and Kidman did a diving takedown on both Stamboli and Palumbo and went to the top rope when one of the FBI was down. People started to raise up expecting a Shooting Star Press but the other guy got up and fought Kidman, Kidman got him to stutter and did a Sunset Powerbomb from the top to get the pin for the win.

(6) The World's Greatest Tag Team beat the APA. The World's Greatest Tag Team comes down and are followed by the A.P.A. Bradshaw gets on the mic saying that he knows Shelton Benjamin has already been out there once tonight he saw him. The crowd starts to chant Shaniqua and then Faarooq gets on the mic saying that APA's got the money if he'll prove he's not a woman. This match was actually a pretty good match that ran about 3 minutes to long. The crowd was into it with the Maniqua chant and such but it just dragged on a bit too long. Nice spots of the Clothesline from Hell, Faarooq's Spinebuster, and Charlie Haas suplexing Bradshaw. Benjamin also taunted Faarooq with the Seminole Tomahawk chop which was probably only understood by my Dad. They started botching a few moves here and there and the ending came when Shelton Benjamin proves that he can hit people with the Tag Titles too. After the win Benjamin grabs the mic and asks APA who the bitch is now. APA gets up and they both botch Irish Whips into an improvised Powerslam on Benjamin and a really nice Powerbomb from Bradshaw on Haas. Bradshaw gives Haas the finger and the APA leaves. Pheew : Drawn out match has me tired and its time for the 15 minute intermission.

(7) Chris Benoit forced the A-Train to Tap out. Coming back we get the sounds of the A-Train intro...YAY! And by yay I'm excited because I've heard that its him versus Chris Benoit and being a huge Pegasus Kid fan, I mean Chris Benoit, I'm happy to finally see the Rabid Wolverine live. There's no holding him back. Benoit comes in and drills A-Train with those patented brutal chops you expect from Benoit which is nice because its seems with no crazy high flying moves (No Shooting Star Press, West Coast Pop, Frog Splash, OR Moonsault), a soft Gore, and a few botched moves that their playing it safe. Benoit comes in and takes it to A-Train before A-Train starts fighting back. Benoit takes a shoulder block and rolls to the outside and they fight on the outside for a bit, A-Train instigates a "Shave my back" chant and they go back into the ring... A-Train after hearing the shave your back chants rubs Benoit's face in his manboobs (god NO !!! Wasn't Rikishi's stinkface enough? ack), Benoit sells a clothesline, and eventually fights into his triple German Suplex spot which looked and sounded amazing on someone as big as the A-Train. Benoit does his neck cut signal and heads up to the top rope... I was rooting for Benoit to blow his snot on A-Train as he passed him bye as payback for the manboobs thing but alas he's all business tonight... Benoit goes for the diving headbutt but misses and A-Train tries to take advantage. Benoit fights him into the Crippler Crossface and the crowd is looking for the tap but A-Train lifts himself out of it before Benoit beats him back down and switches to his other shoulder...he locks the Crossface in and its 1-2-3. Good stuff.

This intensity leads into the Bikini contest. They announce Funaki as the Guest MC for the contest and he comes out doing his Smackdown numba wun announcer routine and announces a local radio personality to do the intros. First out comes Nidia in movie star sunglasses. Next comes Dawn Marie, then Torrie, and Sable.

(8) Torrie Wilson wins the bikini contest over Sable, Nidia, and Dawn Marie. Nidia gets the chance to strut her stuff first and pulls off to reveal an aqua color bikini and thong and she's looking pretty good she then bursts into a hilarious dance routine that she started on last weeks Smackdown to an ovation. Dawn Marie pulls off her robe to show a light yellow bikini that was HOT! Up top it had the shape of the little microphone that the guys on Star Trek speak into and her boobs were just pouring out of the sides of it. The bottom to cover her business looked like a mask a doctor would wear performing surgery. And she strutted it around and went over to the corner Funaki was in, knocked him down and stretched her leg over his head (lucky bastard). Torrie of course dropped her robe and was wearing a red bikini and thong with vale. She slowly bent over and pulled off the vale (yowzers!) and of course tore the house down. Sable had a black or silver holographic bikini and looked pretty good herself and got cheers but of course being the heel not as much as the other women. The announcer was gonna announce the winner but Sable grabbed the mic and said that he obviously doesn't know how it works in the WWE, she said that Nidia looked a little full tonight and pulled a breast enhancer out of Nidia's Bikini top and Nidia ran away in embarrassment so they had a re-count for the 3 contestants still standing... and of course Torrie Wilson was pronounced winner. My personal bias says tonight should've been Dawn's night and on a blind body test I bet most people would pick Dawn.

(9) Kurt Angle & Undertaker beat the Big Show & Brock Lesnar. Well, it's the Big Slow, and here comes Brock Lesnar to You tapped out Chants. Kurt Angle comes out and Big Show and Brock are more the eager to have him step in the ring. Angle tells Lesnar that he tapped so he can shutup about that already and that there's nothing more he'd like to do then take the Title and shove it up Big Show's Big ass. Angle continues on the mic and says that he personally made a call to Stephanie who said that he could have a partner as long as he found somebody willing and able to tag with him...now he knows that their ready to fight an American Hero but what about an American Badass. Dead Man Walking. Undertaker comes out to a big pop and clears the ring of heels. Brock and Big Show retreat while the faces get their pictures and poses. Brock is backing down the aisle like he's not gonna fight. Angle gets back on the mic and calls him a pussy before Big Show slides in the ring and Big Show and Angle start it. Excellent and intense match. Angle snaps those punches off like he means it. Big Show overpowers Angle and throw him down doing Hulk Hogan muscle poses to the crowd. Great spot where Angle has Show in the corner and punches him and tries to throw him out to no avail, he kicks him and tries to throw him but it doesn't work, he kicks him again but it doesn't work, he kicks him twice but it doesn't work, he kicks him twice and starts laying into him before he is finally able to throw him. Undertaker comes in and starts beating on the Big Show. Lesnar comes in and Taker hits a nice clothesline on him and does the Old School walk on the ropes to Lesnar. Angle comes in and Lesnar hits his standing Belly to Belly suplex on Angle and hoists Angle up for a quick F-5 which gets reversed into an Olympic Slam ! Angle slaps on the Angle Lock and Tap Out chants come down full force quickly but Big Show breaks it up. Undertaker comes over and goes crazy, he hits his big DDT on Lesnar and does his jumping clothesline on Big Show. Angle and Lesnar battle on the outside and Big Show comes back into the ring with a steel chair against Undertaker and telegraphs a chairshot which ends up into a Big Boot chair to the Face and Undertaker DDT's him on the chair for the win. Angle hops back into the ring and Lesnar scrams. Undertaker and Angle surround the Big Show and Angle Olympic Slams the Big Show (nicw!) and poses a bit. Big Show leaves and Angle grabs the mic thanking Fort Lauderdale for having great fans and saying they love to come down there (normal cheap pop stuff). And Undertaker says that his match last week was one of the best of his career and thanks Kurt. Then he holds on the Undertaker for a second and says that since we're such great fans that he's gonna ask the Undertaker the one question that everyone there is probably wondering. What color underwear does the Undertaker wear? Undertaker asks Kurt if he really wants to ask that question. Undertaker says he doesn't wear any and that he came into the world naked and he's gonna go out naked. Kurt wonders if one day during a match he's gonna have some of that material snap and if Undertakers gonna have something ugly spring out from pants. Great stuff to finish the show. I'm not much on an Undertaker fan anymore but he did an excellent job in this match and the last Raw house show I went to Triple H did a fantastic job, it seems as if at the house shows all the big names step it up a notch.

Overall it was a pretty good show. Only superstars I can think that didn't make it were Zach Gowen and Tajiri. Very thankful I got to see Angle, Benoit, Cena, Guerrero, and Lesnar.

Biggest Pops : 1.) Angle 2.) Rey Misterio 3.) Torrie Wilson 4.) Chris Benoit

Biggest Heat : 1.) John Cena 2.) Big Show 3.) World's Greatest Tag Team 4.) Sable

***

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