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8/22 Improv Stand-up Comedy Report: Colt Cabana's dirty WWE jokes, says WWE career so bad that TNA won't even hire him; Details on Mick Foley's comedy routine

Aug 23, 2009 - 1:10:15 AM
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Total Extreme Comedy stand-up comedy report
August 22, 2009
Hollywood, Calif. at The Improv
Report by Marc Warzecha and Mike Roe, Torch specialists


Mike Roe and I attended the Total Extreme Comedy show at the Improv in L.A. tonight. Here's some info:

-Show was pretty full but not sold out, and lasted two hours.

-In attendance were: Joey Ryan, Brian Kendrick, Christopher Daniels, comedian Craig Robinson (Knocked Up), Barry Bloom (Foley's manager), Barry Blaustein (Beyond the Mat director), and porn star Christie Canyon.

-There was a ring announcer who introduced all of the stand ups, and a referee who searched them for foreign objects and gave them the time limits for their sets. The stand-ups had entrance music (mostly old WWE stuff) and each set began with a ring of the bell.

-Colt Cabana opened the show and did ten minutes of all wrestling related jokes that went over very well with the crowd of wresting fans. His material was very dirty.

He opened by calling Vince McMahon a jerk (which got a big pop). He did jokes about how stale the Summerslam card is and how boring it is to see Triple H, John Cena, and Randy Orton in all of the main events.

He did a bit about watching porn while having wresting on in the background, thus causing Jim Ross to do play by play for his porn, giving new meaning to the word "slobberknocker."

He did a joke about Josh Matthews doing coke and giving him (Colt) handjobs under the announce table.

He called Ric Flair and asshole and called all of the Divas very derogatory names, doing a series of jokes about them and using Ashley Massaro and the Bella Twins for punchlines.

He made fun of JBL's weird locker room hazing techniques, implying that they weren't exactly masculine. He closed by making fun of his WWE persona, saying he couldn't even get attention from 70-year-old Pat Patterson when he flirted with him.

He joked that WWE called him Scotty Goldman because "Jewy the Jewerton" was already taken. He ended the set with a series of punchlines that finished the sentence, "My career in WWE was so pathetic.." One was, "My career in WWE was so pathetic..even TNA won't even sign me."

Again, Colt's material went over very well with the live crowd and he got huge laughs throughout.

-He was followed by three "normal" stand ups who did non-wrestling related material.

-Mick Foley headlined. He entered to his old WWE music, but when he got to the mic he said he couldn't use that anymore and wanted to reenter to more appropriate music. He then reentered to Billy Gunn's old "I'm an ass man" song, which got a big laugh.

Mick told stories rather than doing jokes, mostly about porn star Christy Canyon, who was in attendance. He told long stories about how watching her porn helped him to have the stamina to conceive his third and fourth childs. Mick read a list of wrestle/porn star combo names from Jeremy Borash's twitter. Then Craig Robinson played piano while Mick sang a short song about Canyon. He told an old Al Snow story as well.

Mick's set was long, and not particularly strong. The audience was getting shifty near the end. He went way over his allotted time, causing a minor panic amongst the Improv employees who were frantically flashing the red light (signal in stand-up clubs) to get him off stage so they could turn over the house for the 10:00 p.m. show.

Mick said that his pay for the show was being donated to Wrestler's Rescue, to help buy Steve Williams a voice box.


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