By Chris Vetter, Torch Contributor

IWA-Mid South returned to Midlothian, Ill., on Saturday, April 1, 2006, for “We’re No Joke.” This was an incredible show, and perhaps the best IWA-Mid South show since the Ted Petty Invitational in Sept. 2004. The crowd is a legit 398 paid, making this by far the biggest crowd I’ve ever seen at an IWA-Mid South event. This is an afternoon show, because ROH was running 8 miles away at 7:30. The show gets underway at 2:29 p.m. – yes, one minute early!

(1) Eric Priest & Chandler McClure defeat Deranged & Brain Damage at 5:12. My first time seeing the team of Deranged and Brain Damage. This is NOT the Deranged who was part of Lacey’s Angel’s in ROH. This Deranged is about 6’0, 230 pounds, bald and a bit crazy! His partner, Brain Damage, has a Gregory Helms crewcut (little to no hair on the side of the head) and piercings. Priest and Deranged started, and they hit shoulder tackles, but neither man budged. Priest hit a nice dropkick and some stiff forearms on Brain Damage. Deranged hit some forearms on McClure and a butterfly suplex for a nearfall, then a running knee in the corner.

Deranged nailed a Samoan Drop in the corner, and the heels hit simultaneous front/back kicks on McClure. McClure fought back with a German Suplex on Brain Damage, and he made the hot tag to Priest at 4:00. Priest hit a Mafia Kick on Brain Damage. Deranged hit a pumphandle slam, but he missed a moonsault. Priest & Chandler went for their Spike Piledriver, but it looked bad. Priest then covered Brain Damage for the pin. Brain Damage had a bloody nose. Good, action-packed match, and I wish it was longer. It’s too bad the finisher was sloppy, because everything else here was sharp.

(2) Mickie Knuckles & MsChif defeat Daizee Haze & Vanessa Kraven at 6:55 in an elimination tag match. Very good women’s match. Vanessa wore a purple & black outfit, and she has black hair, and she is perhaps 6’0”. Daizee hit a low blow kick on Mickie, so Mickie punched Haze. MsChif hit some stiff forearms on Vanessa. MsChif but Kraven in a nice Octopus, but Kraven turned it into a side slam! Vanessa then hit a guillotine legdrop on MsChif. Haze tagged in, and she applied a Camel Clutch and pulled some hair. MsChif hit a nice twisting neckbreaker. Mickie tagged in, and she hit a sidewalk slam on Haze for a nearfall. MsChif and Daizee brawled, and one of them hit a German Suplex with a bridge; neither woman got their shoulders up, so both were pinned at 4:36, leaving just Mickie vs. Kraven!

Mickie hit some sick headbutts, and they traded stiff forearms. Vanessa hit some loud chops, and the crowd let out an ‘ohh!” after each one. MsChif, who was still at ringside, looked up at Vanessa and she spewed green mist in Kraven’s face! Mickie then hit the Shining Kick to the Eye for the pin. I really thought this was sharp.

(3) Darin Corbin won a nine-man ladder match gauntlet at 22:51. Very good action. The rules here are: (1) no one can go for the contract until all nine have entered the ring and (2) eliminations can come on pinfall, submission, putting an opponent through a table (and impaling yourself on the turnbuckle, unfortunately.)

Marek Brave drew #1 and Tyler Black drew #2. The crowd is hot, as they traded nice reversals. In at #3 is Trik Davis, and he attacked both of them, but Black & Brave soon were beating on Trik. Trik dove to the floor on Black. In at #4 is Billy Rocc, who dove on all three opponents. My first time seeing Rocc; he is short with yellow trunks and a crew cut. All four guys brawled on the floor. In at #5 is “Lotus” Dave Crist, who wore green trunks. In an awesome spot, they sandwiched Trik’s head between two steel chairs, and two guys hit dropkicks on the chairs! OUCH! Lotus hit a nice springboard moonsault. At #6 is Chuck Taylor, who is taller than the others, and he has floppy black hair, black pants with a green stripe.

Rocc hit an enziguri on Chuck, then Rocc hit a body splash on Tyler Black in the corner. In at #7 is “Crazy J” Jake Crist, and he wore purple trunks, so the tag partners are dressed differently today. Ricochet entered at #8; he’s a short skinny black man. Tyler pinned Rocc at 8:33. The final entrant, at #9, is Darin Corbin, who strutted to ringside, doing his hilarious, arrogant dance. Corbin got in the ring, acting cocky and goofy, and the other seven men in the match quickly surrounded him and beat him up! Funny.

Trik and Darin fought to the floor, and Marek dove on them at 11:30. Tyler hit a backbody drop on Chuck, onto the ladder, for a nearfall. Lotus hit a moonsault off the ladder on Tyler Black. Crazy J dove to the floor. Chuck hit a springboard dive. Six guys brawled together on the floor. Ricochet climbed in the ring, went to the top of the ladder, and he hit a DOUBLE MOONSAULT to the floor at 14:30, drawing a “holy sh—” chant! WOW. In the ring, Black hit a Doomsday Clothesline on Trik.

This match was moving along great until Marek went to the top turnbuckle, and he attempted a Shooting Star Press, to the floor. However, Marek landed on the top turnbuckle; this was scary and dangerous, and we were immediately told he was eliminated, at 16:39. (I did talk to him later, and he was limping and sore, but otherwise alright). Unfortunately, this injury seemed to hurt the match a bit, as the crowd came down.

Lotus pinned Ricochet, and Darin pinned Chuck, so now four people are gone. Tyler hit a chairshot on Darin! Lotus and Crazy J – usually teammates – began to brawl. Crazy J hit a back suplex off the ladder on Black! Trik gave Lotus a hurricanrana from the top turnbuckle onto Crazy J, who was lying on a table on the floor; however, the table did not break. Lotus and Crazy J were lying on the table, so Tyler Black hit a frogsplash onto them on the table, eliminating both at 20:30, and we were down to three people!

Trik gave Tyler a Reverse Rana. Trik and Darin fought on the ladder, and Trik hit a headbutt. It looked like Trik was going to pull down the contract. Suddenly, Chris Hero hit the ring and he beat up Trik! The crowd chanted, “F--- you, Hero!” Darin climbed the ladder and pulled down the contract to win a title shot against Arik Cannon!

Hero got on the mic and he told Darin that he couldn’t have won the match without Hero’s help. Darin shoved Hero to the mat, saying “I don’t need your help.”

Eddie Kingston hit the ring, and he challenged the Thomasellis to a match. The three Thomasellis hit the ring, and they beat up Eddie. To Eddie’s aid was… Larry Sweeney? Sweeney helped beat up the heels, and Spike Dudley came out to balance the odds, leading to a six-man tag!

(4) Brandon & Vito & Sal Thomaselli defeat Spike Dudley & Eddie Kingston & Larry Sweeney at 13:22. The Thomasellis tried taunting Spike about getting fired from WWE. Spike said, “I got fired by guys that don’t know the first thing about wrestling,” which got a big pop. Sweeney and Vito started and traded some good offense. Eddie and Sal went at it, trading hard slaps to the face! Ouch! Eddie got dumped to the floor and somehow got injured. This looked quite legit, as the Thomasellis stalled in the ring and let other people attend to Kingston on the floor.

Spike got in and he bit Sal at 4:00. Spike hit a nice clothesline. In an awkward moment, Spike climbed a turnbuckle and shouted “F--- ROH” repeatedly, as if he was trying to start a chant, but no one joined him. (Um, three-fourths of the people here, or more, headed to ROH after this show, Spike.) The Thomasellis beat up Spike extensively, and Spike was bleeding from the forehead. Vito hit Spike with a weapon, and he passed the weapon to Sal. Brandon hit the running Shooting Star Press for a nearfall at 9:00.

Sal and Spike fought on the top rope, and Sal fell to the mat. Spike followed up with a top-rope doublestomp on Sal. Eddie, at this point, was in the face corner, and he made the tag at 11:30. Kingston hit a belly-to-belly suplex, but he clutched at his left knee. Eddie hit some chops and a clothesline on Sal. Vito hit a chop block on Eddie! Brandon hit a powerbomb lungblower on Spike – knees to Spike’s back -- for the pin. Neat finisher. This was a good match, and they did a good job recovering after the injury to Eddie. Eddie was helped to the back.

(5) Josh Abercrombie defeats Ruckus at 11:52 to retain the light heavyweight title. Good match. Abercrombie came out to New Kids on the Block “The Right Stuff,” and he’s wearing a Miami Vice Hawaiian shirt, strutting to ringside. He kept rubbing his mustache (which I swear I didn’t see him have when he walked in the door!) They opened with some nice standing switches, and Ruckus hit a nice hurricanrana, but he missed a dive to the floor. They brawled on the floor. Ruckus hit a double cartwheel press on the floor at 3:00. In the ring, Ruckus hit a nice Japanese armdrag.

Ruckus hit a moonsault legdrop for a nearfall. Abercrombie came back with an Arabian Press for a nearfall, and a nice twisting neckbrecker, then a camel clutch. Ruckus hit his cartwheel kicks and a cartwheel legdrop for a nearfall at 7:30. Abercrombie hit a hard sideslam for a nearfall, and he planted his knees in Ruckus’ back as Ruckus was tied in the ropes. In an awesome spot, Ruckus picked Abercrombie up at 9:30 as if he was going for a Gory Special or a Widow’s Peak, but instead he hit a Flatliner!! OUCH!

Ruckus hit a fisherman’s suplex for a nearfall, then a corkscrew press for another nearfall. Abercrombie hit the Taliban Backpack/second-rope lungblower. Abercrombie then nailed the Phoenix Splash/corkscrew press for the pin. Very good action, and the crowd really was impressed with Ruckus in his debut here.

(6) Ian Rotten defeats Kevin Steen at 11:57. A fun match, and it topped my expectations. Steen got on the mic and talked about how he is like Shawn Michaels, and Ian, as promoter, is like Vince McMahon, so Steen was going to win and dedicate the match to HBK! Funny. The crowd chanted “Ian’s gonna kill you.” Ian twisted Steen’s left leg, and he hit the kick to the chest while in a headstand position. Steen stalled. Steen asked Rotten to do the Vince McMahon ‘power walk,’ but Ian instead did a ‘Flair strut.’

Ian hit some stiff forearms. Steen hit a dropkick to the back, a plancha to the floor, and they brawled on the floor. Steen wrapped Ian’s arm around the ring post. The crowd began taunting “HBK” Steen with a “you screwed Bret” chant! Ian hit some chops and a headbutt to Steen’s sternum. Ian did a B-Boy running basement dropkick to the face at 8:00. Steen fired back with a flip guillotine legdrop for a nearfall. Ian hit a flying clothesline, and both men were down. Steen did a kip up! Suddenly, the crowd was behind Steen, as he did the Michaels impersonation.

Steen hit a top-rope flying elbow, and he set up for the Sweet Chin Music! Ian blocked the superkick. Steen pretended like he was going to try a Sharpshooter, but he stopped. Funny. Steen then hit a superkick for a nearfall. Steen went for a Swanton Bomb, but Ian got his knees up to block it. Ian then got a rollup for the pin. Fun action.

Eric Priest & Chandler McClure hit the ring. Eric challenged Ian to a singles match at the next Midlo show. Priest and McClure then hit ref PJ Drummond with the Spike Piledriver (hitting it perfectly this time!).

Note: I am confused if Priest & McClure are faces or heels. It seems to change month to month, and now it changed in the past two hours. Why?

(7) Delirious pinned El Generico at 15:55. Excellent match with lots of great comedy too. Delirious, as always, went crazy when the bell went off, and ref Bryce Remsburg hit in the corner. Funny. Delirious hit a shoulder tackle, and he laughed at the mat… even after El Generico rolled away! El Generico applied a headlock; he let go of the move, but Delirious stayed on the mat, thinking the headlock was still applied. Funny to see live. They traded some quick, sharp armdrags, and Genderico hit some chops. In a fun spot, Delirious ‘called out moves’ in his gibberish. He even had Delirious hold down Generico. During the spot, Generico ducked so Delirious could leapfrog him, but Delirious hit him with a boot to the face. They brawled to the floor at 6:30.

Back in the ring, Generico hit a leg lariat for a nearfall and some more chops, then a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for a nearfall. Delirious blocked a Mafia Kick, and he nailed the Panic Attack/running knee in the corner at 10:00. Delirious then nailed the BAM leaping lariat. Generico fought back with a forward roll dive to the floor. Back in the ring, Generico hit a crossbody block and a Blue Thunder Bomb for a pair of nearfalls.

Delirious hit a nice backbreaker over his knee, then a Shadows over Hell backsplash for a believable nearfall at 14:30. Generico nailed the Mafia Kick to the face in the corner, and he hit a half nelson suplex for a nearfall, as Delirious reached the ropes. Delirious then hit the Bizarro Driver/pumphandle flip powerbomb for the pin. Lots of fun; both in terms of good wrestling and light-hearted comedy.

(8) Toby Klein defeats Tank at 9:02. Hard-hitting match! Klein has cut his hair short since I last saw him. They traded stiff forearms, and they went to the floor, trading hard thud-sounding headbutts. OUCH. Back in the ring at 3:00, Klein is barking and biting the ropes. Tank put Klein in the Tree of Woe, and he hit some knee shots to Klein’s head and a dropkick to the head! Klein came back with some slaps to the stomach and worked his way up Tank’s body, with right & left-handed shots to the chest, then face. They brawled back to the floor, where Tank hit another loud headbutt!

Klein dove over the top rope, barely clearing it, at 6:00. Klein hit a HARD chairshot to the head. Klein then tied Tank in the corner and hit a Van Terminator, leaping from one corner onto Tank in the other! The crowd chanted, “Holy sh--!” This only got a nearfall! Tank was bleeding from the forehead. Klein hit some clotheslines, but Tank wouldn’t go down. Tank hit a Samoan Drop. Klein hit a top-rope twisting frogsplash for the pin. Fun, hard-hitting match.

(9) Low Ki defeats Necro Butcher at 21:27. Simply phenomenal match, and one of the best IWA-Mid South matches I have seen, either live or on tape. Low Ki attacked Necro Butcher from behind, and these two were buried in a sea of yellow & black streamers. Cool. Ki hit an enziguri. Necro hit some chops; Ki hit some chops. Ki stayed on two with a series of kicks, stomps and strikes, and the crowd chanted “Low Ki!” They fought to the floor. Ki hit some spinning face strikes, then a cartwheel kick and a running dropkick, and they brawled amongst the fans.

Back in the ring at 6:30, Ki hit some spine kicks, then chest kicks. Ki hit some chops, and he ripped off Necro’s shirt to hit some chops on the bare chest. Ki hit some Kawada Kicks to the face, and he got a table at 10:00. Ki hit a doublestomp on the face! Necro fought back with a straight right punch as Ki went for a springboard maneuver. OUCH! They fought back to the floor as Necro hit a powerslam on Ki onto a chair. In the ring, Necro hit a sideslam for a nearfall. Ki applied the Dragon Sleeper, but Necro reached the ropes. Ki hit a doublestomp to the back as Necro was lying in between the ropes at 17:00 for a nearfall.

Necro hit a Tiger Driver/butterfly powerbomb for a nearfall. Ki hit some chops on Ki on the top rope, and he set up for a Tiger Driver through the table, as they fought on the top rope! However, Ki pushed Necro backward, so Necro Butcher’s head was lying on the table, as Necro’s legs were tied in the Tree of Woe. Ki then nailed a doublestomp to the face, drawing a “holy sh--!” chant. This only got a nearfall! Ki applied the Dragon Sleeper, as the crowd chanted for Necro to fight out. But… Necro passed out, and Ki was victorious again. Excellent, hard-hitting, intense match that looked like a believable fight.

Ian Rotten thanked everyone for coming. He was brief and to the point, to keep the show rolling.

(10) Chris Hero defeats Milano Collection AT at 23:57. The crowd chanted “F--- you Hero!” again. They started with some standing reversals, and Hero pulled on Milano’s hair and he applied a Masterlock. This is basic early, and Milano hit some nice armdrags at 6:00, and he tied Hero in the bottom rope, before hitting a flying dropkick. Moments later, Hero went for a dive to the floor, but he tweaked his knee. Hero crawled back in the ring, and he was injured. However, he hopped up, hit a back suplex, and showed he was ok, faking the injury.

They traded chops, and Hero hit a senton for a nearfall. They brawled on the floor. Hero was tied in the ropes, and Milano ran alongside the ring, hitting a dropkick on Hero. In the ring, Milano went for a move off the ropes, but Hero caught him with a dropkick. Hero hit a nice senton, and they traded chops. Milano hit a headbutt to the chin at 15:00. Hero fired back with his own headbutts. Hero hit some chops in the corner, and Milano fired up!

Milano did a Matrix backward to avoid a shot, and he quickly hit Hero with an enziguri, and the crowd popped for the spot at 17:30. Milano hit a series of chops, a flying clothesline, his senton, and a crossbody block for a nearfall. Hero came back with a spinning neckbreaker for a nearfall. Milano tied him up and rolled him over for a nearfall, but Hero was in the rings.

Hero set up for an airplane spin, but Milano’s legs nailed Ref Remsburg, and the referee was out. Milano applied his leglock around the head, and Hero submitted, but there was no ref! Hero hit a low blow. Milano hit a Superkick and a corkscrew springboard moonsault! Milano applied a body lock. Hero hit a Mafia Kick, a standing powerbomb, then he applied a Boston Crab, and Milano tapped out. Good match.

Final thoughts: The show ended at 6:20, so nearly four hours! This was an excellent show, and nothing bad at all; even the short matches were really good. Low Ki vs. Necro is an early IWA-MS match-of-the-year contender, as it was stiff as heck, and the crowd was into every blow. While the nine-man gauntlet, Hero-Milano and Delirious-Generico were quite different matches, they all deserve runner-up spot for next-best.

The only downsides of this show were the two injuries, in consecutive matches, to Marek Brave and Eddie Kingston. Again, hopefully neither were too serious. The comments by Spike Dudley were awkward and unintentionally funny.

A lot of new faces here. I saw a lot of guys for the first time: Chuck Taylor, Billy Rocc, Ricochet, Deranged and Brain Damage, and they all were solid. The guys who made their debuts here, like Milano Collection AT and Ruckus, also are certainly welcome back anytime.

This is a show that even fans who attended it live should order on tape or DVD. Purchase it soon at www.smartmarkvideo.com.

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