Total Bellas

12/16 TOTAL BELLAS REVIEW: The one where Nikki goes to pregnant twin photoshoot and Artem takes off his shirt and then they get ice cream

December 21, 2020

TOTAL BELLAS DECEMBER 16, 2020 AIRED ON E! The show opens with 800 recaps, and then Artem has to put a baby car seat in the expensive SUV that John Cena bought for Nikki Bella. […]

12/9 TOTAL BELLAS REVIEW: The one where Mom plans for a baby shower during a pandemic, Nikki swims naked in her outdoor pool and Artem thinks it’s bad idea, Brie wants Bryan to talk to Artem about his sex life

December 11, 2020

TOTAL BELLAS DECEMBER 9, 2020 AIRED ON E! The show opens with a recap of a family splintered by divorce that isn’t going to have a big happy family get together for a baby shower. […]

12/2 TOTAL BELLAS REVIEW: The one where Bryan and Artem pretend they’re high on a man-date slumber party, plus flossing, wills, and pandemic party-planning

December 11, 2020

TOTAL BELLAS DECEMBER 2, 2020 AIRED ON E! The Bellas and Artem are shopping for baby clothes in order to introduce the concept of a baby moon. Nikki invited herself and Artem along to their […]

11/19 TOTAL BELLAS REVIEW: Brie explains a mucous plug to Nikki, the Bellas discuss leaky nipples and Maxipads, Daniel Bryan watches birth video

November 20, 2020

TOTAL BELLAS NOVEMBER 19, 2020 AIRED ON E! The show opens with Brie explaining a mucous plug to Nikki. Of course they made it gross. The show open plays. They Facetime with their long lost […]

11/12 TOTAL BELLAS REVIEW: Nikki talks about pregnancy test and insurance, plus pooping and foot callouse and fake baby cries

November 13, 2020

TOTAL BELLAS NOVEMBER 12, 2020 AIRED ON E! Okay, the show opens with 2 minutes that basically explain everything that happens this season… and yet there will still be however unnecessary episodes there are of […]

6/10 TOTAL BELLAS REPORT by Sarah K (Ep. 11): The episode with the gender reveal for Nikki and Artem and the decision not to know the gender of Brie and Bryan’s baby

June 13, 2020

TOTAL BELLAS (Season 6, Episode 11) JUNE 10, 2020 AIRED ON E! There was a severe thunderstorm yesterday, and the power is still out at my workplace, so I get to watch this live. Yeah, […]

6/3 TOTAL BELLAS REPORT by Sarah K (Ep. 10): The episode with the proposal and the pregnancy test results, plus Bryan’s new haircut debuts

June 5, 2020

TOTAL BELLAS (Season 6, Episode 10) JUNE 3, 2020 AIRED ON E! So on this episode, Artem will propose and both twins will figure out that they are pregnant. So, everyone arrives in France. I […]

5/26 TOTAL BELLAS REPORT by Sarah K (Ep. 9): “Brie and Bryan are somewhere where a lady will ‘channel a vortex’ with some crap arranged on a fancy piece of cloth.”

June 5, 2020

TOTAL BELLAS (Season 6, Episode 9) MAY 26, 2020 AIRED ON E! Should you watch this show? No. You could stare at a wall. I haven’t even watched this yet and I know this is […]

5/19 TOTAL BELLAS REPORT by Sarah K (Ep. 8): Brie says “world wind,” Nikki discusses not wanting her boyfriend’s sperm on her frozen embryos, a $30,000 baby-proofing request, walkie-talkie time

May 22, 2020

TOTAL BELLAS (Season 6, Episode 8) MAY 19, 2020 AIRED ON E! The show opens with a recap, as if we’ve forgotten all the forgettable things that happen on this show. The twins are with […]

5/12 TOTAL BELLAS REPORT by Sarah K (Ep. 7): Nikki pees on a stick, asks boyfriend if he’d be with her if she can’t have kids, Bryan watches video to learn to braid hair, more unsafe seat belt usage

May 15, 2020

TOTAL BELLAS (Season 6, Episode 7) MAY 12, 2020 AIRED ON E! The show opens with a recap: Brie and Bryan have relationship issues, and Nikki was stupid drunk on last week’s episode. So, the […]

5/5 TOTAL BELLAS REPORT by Sarah K (Ep. 6): Nikki is stupid drunk and almost breaks up with Artem, Bella Twins show once again now not to wear a seatbelt

May 15, 2020

TOTAL BELLAS (Season 6, Episode 6) MAY 5, 2020 AIRED ON E! Should you watch this show? No. Does this show need to be seen? No. Do I watch this show and then write words […]

4/29 TOTAL BELLAS REPORT by Sarah K (Ep. 5): Should you watch this show? No. Will this show enrich your life? No. Am I watching it so that you don’t have to? Yes.

May 15, 2020

TOTAL BELLAS (Season 6, Episode 5) APRIL 29, 2020 AIRED ON E! Should you watch this show? No. Will this show enrich your life? No. Do I want to watch this show? No. Am I […]

4/22 TOTAL BELLAS REPORT by Sarah K (Ep. 4): The worst use of your time would be watching this show, but here’s what I thought watching it

May 15, 2020

TOTAL BELLAS (Season 6, Episode 4) APRIL 22, 2020 AIRED ON E! So, this week’s episode is pretending like Brie and Daniel Bryan have relationship issues and the grown adult Bella children have a family […]

4/15 TOTAL BELLAS REPORT (Ep. 3): Brie and Nikki visit their dad and his new family, then gush about it to their mom who doesn’t want to hear about it

April 17, 2020

TOTAL BELLAS (Season 6, Episode 3) APRIL 15, 2020 AIRED ON E! The problem with reality TV is that these aren’t carefully crafted characters reciting lines in planned situations. These are real people with real […]

4/8 TOTAL BELLAS REPORT (Ep. 2): Discussions about marriage and divorce, making out in a hardware store, Nikki oversees building her new house

April 10, 2020

TOTAL BELLAS (Season 6, Episode 2) APRIL 8, 2020 AIRED ON E! A brief preamble: I’m an “essential employee,” so the premise of watching entitled D-level quasi celebrities on a “reality” TV show bicker over […]

4/1 TOTAL BELLAS REPORT (Ep. 1): Brie and Bryan talk about wanting a boy, greieving over their dog, Nikki shops for lingerie

April 3, 2020

TOTAL BELLAS (Season 6, Episode 1) APRIL 1, 2020 AIRED ON E! The show opens with a montage of what I assume is every plot of the entire season. Artem will propose to Nikki. “He’s […]

10/30 TOTAL DIVAS REVIEW (Ep. 11): The one where Nia Jax wants to be the first-ever woman to do a top rope move, Ronda talks about towing company line and not having a character, Carmella sings

November 6, 2019

TOTAL DIVAS – EPISODE 11 OCTOBER 30, 2019 AIRED ON E! BY SARAH K., PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR The show opens with a long recap of several uninteresting plot points: The Ronda Rousey-Sonya Deville feud that never […]

3/24 TOTAL BELLAS REVIEW (Ep. 10): Bryan turns heel, fingers crossed that this marks the end of a pointless reality series filled with rich people problems

March 24, 2019

TOTAL BELLAS (SEASON 4, EPISODE 10) MARCH 24, 2019 AIRED ON E! Tonight, will Brie Bella and Daniel Bryan have sex and make another baby? Will Nikki date Artem? And Daniel Bryan turns heel. After […]

3/17 TOTAL BELLAS REVIEW (Ep. 9): The build-up to women’s PPV, Brie and Nikki turn on Rousey, John Laurinaitis discusses voice issues, Brie upset fans complain about her botched spots

March 17, 2019

TOTAL BELLAS (SEASON 4, EPISODE 9) MARCH 17, 2019 AIRED ON E! On tonight’s episode, we may finally make it to the Women’s Evolution PPV from last fall. The show opens with the Raw before […]

3/10 TOTAL BELLAS REVIEW (Ep. 8): Ronda slaps Nikki and they claim it wasn’t planned, Brie and Bryan talk about another baby and where to live, Nikki the Perfectionist

March 11, 2019

TOTAL BELLAS (SEASON 4, EPISODE 8) MARCH 10, 2019 AIRED ON E! On tonight’s show: Nikki Bella will face Ronda Rousey at the PPV, and will Brie and Bryan break their lease in San Diego? […]

3/3 TOTAL BELLAS REVIEW (Ep. 7): Bryan composting toddler poop, Nikki gets wrong brand of licorice, Brie contemplates being a valley, Bellas turn on Ronda Rousey

March 4, 2019

TOTAL BELLAS (SEASON 4, EPISODE 7) MARCH 3, 2019 AIRED ON E! The show opened by reminding us of last week’s episode… where Brie cried about being bad in the ring for half the episode, […]

2/24 TOTAL BELLAS REVIEW (Ep. 6): Brie cries about internet bullying after she kicked Liv Morgan in the face, Nikki goes on a date, amusement park birthday party

February 24, 2019

TOTAL BELLAS (SEASON 4, EPISODE 6) FEBRUARY 24, 2019 AIRED ON E! Well, in the intro for the show, they said “comeback” at least three times, so drink up. We open with the Brie Bella […]

2/17 TOTAL BELLAS REVIEW (Ep. 5): The episode that covers Brie stiff kicking Liv during their match, plus fashion show, body positivity, Comic Con

February 17, 2019

TOTAL BELLAS (SEASON 4, EPISODE 5) FEBRUARY 17, 2019 AIRED ON E! Tonight Birdee Bee is having a fashion show and Brie is going back on the road for ten weeks. So, basically, they’re pimping […]

2/10 TOTAL BELLAS REVIEW (Ep. 4): Bryan turns down sponsoring beard oil product, dance lessons, botched moves, celebrities complaining about public judging them

February 11, 2019

TOTAL BELLAS (SEASON 4, EPISODE 4) FEBRUARY 10, 2019 AIRED ON E! The show opens with Nikki having a lunch date with Artem – to generate some headlines. Yes, apparently it’s important for her to […]