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The following report was originally published on PWTorch.com ten years ago this week…
KELLER’S TNA IMPACT REPORT
AUGUST 14, 2008
TAPED TUESDAY IN ORLANDO, FLA.
AIRED ON SPIKE TV
[Q1]
-A video with a hard rock song played featuring clips of Hard Justice, with a theme that TNA took hardcore to a new level. It touted the title change, high flying moves, Kurt Angle being stretchered, Sting showing up after A.J. Styles attacked Angle, Kevin Nash confronting Sting, and then guitar shot at the end by Samoa Joe to beat Booker T. Really good video in giving people a sense of regret that they didn’t see the event, while also serving to catch viewers up on the basics of what they missed without giving away too much.
-They cut backstage to Kevin Nash and Samoa Joe arriving. Lauren quickly recapped the end of his PPV match and then said the world wants to know where the guitar came from. Joe said if Booker and Sting want to play tonight, “we’ll play.” He said things are getting interesting because everybody wants in on this. She asked Nash what he knows. He said he doesn’t want to be in the middle of this because he has a tag match with Joe against Team 3D. She asked about his conversation with Sting. Nash said if Joe thinks things are going to get interesting, he only knows half of it.
-The Impact opening aired with their videogame footage. This was okay for a week or two, but it’s cheesy if they stick with it in the long run.
-Mike Tenay and Don West introduced the show. Tenay hyped Hernandez vs. James Storm and Taylor Wilde vs. Christy Hemme as pryo blasted in the arena. West said he hopes to get an explanation from Sting. He also hyped the tag match Nash mentioned.
1 — ROCK ‘N’ RAVE INFECTION (Lance Rock & Jimmy Rave w/Christy Hemme) vs. RHINO & CHRISTIAN
Christy did some pre-match mic work and did the splits. Rave said, “We love you, Topeka!” Rock asked, “Who wants to rock my sock.” At least I think that’s what he said. Rhino and Christian got early control. Rave and Rock yanked Rhino into the ringpost crotch-first when the ref was distracted by Christian trying to make the save. A loud “Let’s go Rhino” chant broke out. Christian got a hot-tag at 4:00. He gave Rave an inverted DDT for a two count. Rhino hit a Gore and Christian followed immediately with a frog splash for the win.
WINNERS: Christian & Rhino in 5:00.
STAR RATING: *
-Jeremy Borash interviewed Kurt Angle, who brought his actual Olympic Gold Medal with him (or what was purported to be by Borash). Borash asked how his neck is coming along. Angle said, “How do you think my neck is? It’s sore. It’s injured.” He said he’s been wearing a neck brace all week before of Styles. He said, “This is Olympic week. Or I should say Kurt Angle week.” He reminisced about Angle’s 1996 Olympic wrestling win. He said TNA had no business booking him in a Last Man Standing match. He said it has nothing to do with wrestling and everything to do with violence. He said as a role model for millions of children, he decided to abide by the rules whereas Styles cheated to win. He said Styles also tried twice to break his neck. He said, “Thank God Sting showed up or Styles might have come to the ring a third time and ended my career for good.” Angle said he gets to book a rematching tonight – a “good old fashioned Olympic challenge.” That means no ropes, three rounds, and every point counts. He said he was putting his Gold Medal at stake. Borash warned him that that medal is the most important thing to him in his life and he can barely move his neck. Angle said Styles should be ready for a good mauling.
[Q2]
[Commercial Break]
-Tenay threw to Borash interviewing Styles, who asked him about his actions on Sunday. He asked if his intentions were to “finish off a wounded animal.” Styles said he made a guarantee that Angle would not get back up. Borash sad that brought out Sting, and much to his surprise, he was leveled with a Scorpion Death Drop. Styles said a man he looked up to his whole career chose to use him to make an example of. Styles said he was wrong about Sting. He said Sting is dead wrong if he thinks he can make an example of him.
-Tenay and West reset the show and previewed upcoming matches.
-Lauren interviewed Matt Morgan backstage. She asked him what his goals are as he climbs the ladder. He said his first goal is to realize his full potential. He said he’s a PPV main event waiting to happen. He said he is making opportunities for himself now rather than waiting. He said his second goal is to become TNA World Hvt. Champion. He said no one will stop him from realizing his dreams or goals. He said at the end of the day, The Blueprint is going to knock them down. He’s getting better on promos, but he still hasn’t found his true voice. It’s just a maturity thing that will come with repetition and time, but the story of him having all of the potential in the world and striving to live up to it is developing into a compelling story. Certainly better than pretending he’s already there.
[Commercial Break]
2 — MATT MORGAN vs. JOHNNY DEVINE
Tenay talked about Morgan’s aspirations and dreams in TNA. Devine slapped Morgan. Morga responded like Festus does when a bell rings at the start of the match. Devine bailed out. Morgan chased him around the ring and back into the ring where he hit clotheslines. I’d like to see Morgan commit to two months with no clotheslines just to look for new options because it’s so cliche for big men who are relatively green to resort to that as the fallback move. He squashed Devine in the corner, then went for a big moot. Devine ducked the boot and Morgan crotched himself. The always delicate West said: That bicycle kick, it just knocks the crap outta ya’.” Morgan finished him with the Hellivator.
WINNER: Morgan in 2:00.
-Team 3D attacked Morgan afterward. Within five seconds Abyss’s music played and he walked out in his good-guy white lunatic suit. Team 3D bailed out. Abyss gave Devine the Black Hole Slam. Abyss and Morgan stood almost chest to chest in center ring. Morgan extended his hand for a shake. Abyss reached out and shook Morgan’s hand. Tenay said that’s a force to be reckoned with.
[Q3]
[Commercial Break]
-The Beautiful People were guests on “Karen’s Angle.” Velvet Sky said lately nobody likes them and wants to be around them. Angelina Love cried. Karen said maybe if they’re nice, people will treat them differently. They laughed at that suggestion. Sky said they’ve hired someone to primp them, dress them, and cater to their needs. Kip James walked in wearing his tight pin trunks. The women giggled about his crotch being right in their face. He mocked the image of Karen angle on the wall. Love and Sky high-fived each other. That’s actually not bad use of Kip James. He might be best in a comedy role like this.
-Tenay pointed out Katie Kim, Gail’s sister, in the crowd tonight.
-Laren interviewed Jay Lethal backstage. She said the rumor is he hasn’t spoken to So Cal Val since Sunday. Lethal was distraught, saying Val has to choose between he and Sonjay. He said he can’t take it anymore. He said it’s confusing. He said Val has a big heart and that’s why everyone loves her. He told Lauren to tell Val that this thing isn’t over until he says it’s over.
[Commercial Break]
3 — KING ABDUL BASHIR vs. “BLACK MACHISMO” JAY LETHAL
Tenay called him “the man with the anti-American stance.” Did we really need that explained to us? Bashir did pre-match mic work. He said he understands why fans boo him, because he came to American and took everything she offered. He said it wasn’t that hard to take because other Americans were lazy, waiting for handouts. He said, “I don’t love Lady America, I just love raping her.” That’s the only line he’s used so far with his character so far that bugs me. It just wasn’t necessary and kind of broke the moment. Why are they matching these two against each other at this stage? This match-up between an established character embroiled in his own personal situation shouldn’t be mixing – with zero hype – with a new heel still establishing himself. Lethal got in early offense.
[Q4]
Bashir yanked Lethal off the ropes at the turning point in the match. Unfortunately, at that moment, Tenay brought up the Joe-Nash saga. West, to his credit, commented on what Tenay said, then brought it back to the match to acknowledge Bashir turned things around. Tenay went right back to more Joe-Nash talk. Bashir grounded Lethal with a chinlock. Lethal elbowed out promptly and hit three flying clotheslines. Bashir pulled a spike out of his boot and jabbed Lethal in the neck with it, blind to the referee. He followed with a sitting DDT, which he called the WMD, for the win.
WINNER: Bashir in 5:00.
-Afterward, Dutt snuck into the ring and hit the Hindu Press (450 splash) on a vulnerable Lethal, or as Tenay put it, he picked his bones. Dutt taunted Lethal mid-ring with some trash talk afterward.
-Boras interviewed Booker T and Sharmell in his plush red locker room. He asked him what’s on his mind coming out of Hard Justice. Booker said he still has a bump on his head from the guitar that mysteriously appeared. He said he had Joe beat when the guitar appeared. He said he wonders if it’s TNA’s idea of a joke. “Doesn’t that hick have some sort of business interest in this company,” said Booker. He said there’s an old saying that you mess with the bull, your get the horns. He said his saying is if you mess with Booker T, you get a boot up your (and he trailed off). He said he’ll do his talking in the ring. Borash hyped footage of Nash-Sting interaction from the PPV airing for the first time after the break.
[Commercial Break]
-A brief video package aired regarding questions of Sting’s path. Then they went to footage of what happened as Nash followed Sting through the entrance tunnel to the back. Sting told Nash he’s not confused at all. He said the difference between you and me is patience. He said his biological time clock is ticking really fast and he should check his because it’s now or never. That was well-produced as the background noise and imperfect lighting made it seem very candid and not “part of the show.”
4 — TEAM 3D vs. SAMOA JOE & KEVIN NASH
West said Joe and Brother Ray “match up physically almost like mirrors.” Nas tagged in and went to work on Ray in the corner with his signature routine. West said Nash knows that Joe will sometimes resist some of his advice, but Joe is learning that Nash brings a lot to the table. Once again, inexplicably, they cut to a break in this pre-taped show at the very start of the second hour. I just don’t get why they wouldn’t go out of their way to be sure that doesn’t happen. It can’t help the second hour surge in viewership that occurs when there’s something exciting going on at the top of the hour as people are making 10 p.m. programming choices.
[Q5]
[Commercial Break]
After the break, Devon had Nash down and was working over his leg. Joe caught Devon with a big boot as he charged him in the corner. Nash rolled over and slowly reached to tag in Joe at 8:00. Joe went on a flurry of offense against both Ray and Devon. After a minute, Joe waved Nash in for help. Ray punched Nash off the ring apron, then hit Joe with a forearm from behind. Team 3D gave Joe a 3D for a near fall. As they set up another double-team move, Nash yanked Ray out of the ring. Joe then applied the rear naked choke for a tapout win on Devon. Afterward Joe went after Devon with a chair. Nash didn’t approve and pulled the chair away from Joe. Tenay said, “Samoa Joe’s temper is his Achilies heel. When the ref stepped in, Joe punched the ref. Nash lectured Joe about his outburst. Tenay said Joe must learn to control his anger.
WINNERS: Team 3D via DQ in 9:00.
STAR RATING: *1/4
-They showed Christy Hemme and Taylor Wilde stretching backstage.
[Commercial Break]
[Q6]
5 — TAYLOR WILDE vs. CHRISTY HEMME
West talked about how they though Taylor’s win was a fluke at first, but they’ve come to learn about her background and all she’s done to work her way to the top. There was an awkward running face plant that drew scattered boos from the crowd. Taylor did a nice nip up into an immediate arm drag. Taylor followed with some roundhouse kicks. Hemme did a Matrix bridge and then hit her splits legdrop for a two count. Christy leaped off the top rope for another splits legdrop, but Taylor moved and then Taylor scored a quick pin with a bridge suplex.
WINNER: Taylor in 3:00.
-After the match Awesome Kong came out and went after Taylor. When referee Traci Brooks stepped in, Kong slammed her, then choked Taylor. Ryesha Saeed joined in the attack. Saeed brought a folding chair into the ring. The bell rang frantically in hte background. Gail Kim charged to the ring and made the save. Soon Kong began beating up Gail. Her sister watched with concern at ringside. Kim eventually dropkicked a chair into Kong, then bashed her over skull with a stiff blunt blow, knocking her to ringside. Gail’s sister smiled and clapped at ringside as Saeed held Kong back. Saeed has been really good to have a sidekick for Kong to hold her back week after week from going back into fights, as it’d be tough to explain her walking away from fights otherwise.
[Commercial Break]
-West plugged upcoming dates including Bound for Glory.
-Rough Cut aired on Conseqences Creed. He said he was motivated by people scoffing at his dreams of being a wrestler despite not being tall. A lifelong friend of his talked about his passion for wrestling as a kid. Creed talked about cutting promos and collecting action figures. He said he got serious around fourth grade and decided he had to look like a wrestler to become a wrestler and learn how to wrestle, too. They showed headlines of his real name, Austin Watson. He smiled as he talked about how he was in show choir as a senior in high school because he wanted to learn to perform in front of a crowd. He said it taught him stage presence and how to be in front of people. He said he tried to gear everything he did toward becoming better as a wrestler.
-Tenay then stated the obvious. He actually said this: “Boy, these Rough Cut segments really give us an insight into the personal life of Consequences Creed.” He also might as well have added, “I am wearing clothes and they really do a good job preventing you from seeing me without clothes” and “Sound waves make it possible for you to hear what I’m saying to you right now.” He then plugged the Angle-Styles Gold Medal Challenge. West wondered if this was too much for Angle.
-Lauren interviewed Hector Guerrero, Selinas, and Hernandez. Hernandez pushed Hector aside and cut a good promo. He said he’s going back to his roots and he’s going to get revenge prison style. Who knew Hernandez had that in him? Not those who are around him behind the scenes, where he’s a soft spoken family man. Why is Hector cutting promos for Homicide and Hernandez when they have good mic abilities themselves?
[Q7]
[Commercial Break]
-A video package aired on Beer Money upsetting LAX for the tag team titles at Hard Justice. Shouldn’t that have aired before Hernandez’s promo?
-Lauren told Roode that she’s never seen Hernandez this upset. Roode and James Storm mocked the notion of him being upset. They laughed and said they’re on top of the world and they don’t care that he’s upset. Storm told Hernandez not to get “all steer and queer” on them, referencing Hernandez threatening to make them feel him. Then Jacqueline joined the men in joking that Hernandez should be working at Taco Bell. Sadly, that probably sounded like a babyface promo to a certain sizable percentage of viewers.
6 — JAMES STORM (w/Robert Roode, Jacqueline) vs. HERNANDEZ (w/Selinas, Hector Guerrero)
Hernandez jumped Storm at ringside before the match officially began. He threw Storm into the ring and the ref called for the bell. Hernandez did his signature dive onto both Storm and Roode. Tenay said Homicide suffered permanent eye damage and doctors wouldn’t clear him to be at ringside. Jackie distracted the ref giving Roode a chance to blindside Hernandez to change momentum in the match. Hernandez eventually came back, hitting a couple clotheslines and a big backbody and released back suplex for a near fall. At 4:00 Hernandez set up a superplex, but Jackie held his leg. Storm then leaped off he top rope with a twisting bulldog type move for a two count. Hernandez followed up with a Border Toss attempt. He obviously stayed near the edge of the ring so Roode could yanked Storm out of harm’s way. Storm dove at Hernandez, but Hernandez caught him and powerbombed him for a win.
WINNER: Hernandez in 6:00.
STAR RATING: *1/4
-They showed Angle and Styles on a split screen each heading to the entrance tunnel.
[Q8]
[Commercial Break]
-Jim Cornette joined Tenay and West at ringside. He said Hernandez told him he wants a match next week against Robert Roode. Cornette said that is signed for next week. He also announced Gail Kim vs. Kong in a street fight match. Because a regular match just wouldn’t have been enough. He also said Samoa Joe will defend his TNA World Title in a Four Ways to Glory match. He said the next three weeks will feature qualifying matches to determine who the three challengers will be. He said next week’s first qualifying match features Booker T vs. Rhino.
-Tenay then explained the rules for Styles vs. Angle. Three two minute periods, two points for a takedown, two points for a near fall, and the winner wins on most points or a three count. A recap aired of the Sunday angle with Styles-Angle and Sting-Styles.
7 — A.J. STYLES vs. KURT ANGLE — Gold Medal Challenge
The ropes were down and the ref asked for a pre-match handshake. Styles offered, and Angle pulled his hand away and did the up-yours arm gesture. Angle scored two points early with a single-leg takedown. Angle continued to rack up points, getting a 6-0 lead at 90 seconds in. Angle laughed and got cocky, showboating as Styles tried to get takedowns on him. Styles managed to get a two count on a victory roll in the second round, scoring two points for the takedown and two points for the near fall. Styles smiled broadly. Angle got serious again. Angle scored another two points to expand his lead to 8-4. He slapped at Styles’s head afterward. Styles against scored a leveraged near fall for another four points to tie it at 8-8 at the end of the period two. About 30 seconds in, Angle took a cheap shot with a back elbow and then took Styles down to score two points. That gave him a 10-8 lead with a minute left. Styles suplexed Angle, but the ref got knocked down in the process. Angle clotheslined Styles with 15 seconds left in the round. The lights the went out. When they came back on, Angle had a baseball bat in his hand. The lights went out again and Jeff Jarrett’s music played. When the lights came back on, Styles was standing behind Angle with a guitar. Styles smashed the guitar over Angle’s head. Angle bled from the forehead immediately afterward. He then covered Angle and scored a three count, despite the time of the round having run out minutes earlier. Tenay said Styles just won the Gold Medal and the mystery of the guitar continues. The show closed with wide-eyed with awe putting the Gold Medal around his neck as Angle lay knocked out on the mat. Entertaining match with a relatively predictable finish. The intentional ambiguity over who to cheer and who’s really on whose side could intrigue viewers or leave them throwing their hands up in the air.
WINNER: Styles.
NOW CHECK OUT THE PREVIOUS FLASHBACK: 5 YRS AGO – TNA IMPACT TV REPORT (8-15-13): Bully Ray vs. Sabin for TNA Title in cage, plus Samoa Joe, Styles, Aries, Hardy, Mickie, Magnus
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