IMPACT WRESTLING HITS & MISSES 10/7: Dumb babyface, LAX is mad, Gail Kim’s farewell, BFG rematches, Garza, Borash, Things Should Matter

HITS

LAX is Mad: A brief backstage segment with LAX was the best thing on this show. They were incredibly upset after their title loss, which is how every single act should feel when they drop the gold. It makes the belts feel worth fighting for. Otherwise there’s really no point to anything. I realize it’s becoming redundant for me to say, but LAX is by far the coolest act on the show and nothing else even comes close. Unless for some reason you’re really, really into Grado and Joseph Park.

And uh… that’s it for the hits this week.

MISSES

Why Garza?: Okay, so every week now I take Jeremy Borash to task for his increasingly lousy commentating. Let’s just get it out of the way. In one of the most absurd lines of the year, he put over Garza as being “unstoppable” lately. Are…are we watching the same show J.B.? Okay, so maybe he was fed that line. Well, then the creative team is seriously slacking at their jobs. We’re supposed to take a man who is most well-known for ripping his pants off and then usually having it backfire on him seriously? Just a few weeks ago Garza was in a feud with Braxton Sutter and was flirting with Allie. So that’s over with? No one who actually watches Impact week-to-week should be buying into him as a possible No. 1 contender because he has never been portrayed that way. His character has zero claim to being in such a spot. It’s not like he even won a battle royal or a reverse battle royal for the opportunity. Apparently all you have to do to get a title shot in this promotion is interfere in a segment. And THEN, Jim Cornette claimed that Garza and Johnny Impact want to “rip each other’s heads off,” is he watching the same show as I am?!?! Impact backed Garza into a corner, who then tried to explain the situation. It seemed like they were relatively cool with each other. Nothing. Matters.

Moose Isn’t Very Bright: When Steve Austin went after an entire stable in the Attitude Era, he came at them with some sort of weapon or vehicle to even the odds. He had a plan in mind and it almost always worked. Moose just decided to show up by himself against a dozen trained MMA fighters. He was quickly beaten up and tossed out of the gym. What the hell was he expecting? He looked like a complete idiot for expecting to walk in there, take out Bobby Lashley, and then waltz out unscathed. Also, the camera angle of him being tossed to the ground in a close-up was laughably absurd, as was the fact that they brought a drone to shoot him walking into the gym. Impact way over-thought this segment in some aspects, and nowhere near enough in others.

Kim’s Swan Song: Gail Kim said she’s done after Bound For Glory next month. So what’s her grand farewell? A four-way match. Now, MAYBE that would work if this was a hot feud with four compelling competitors and everything made sense leading into it. But c’mon, this is Impact we’re talking about. For starters, Allie is involved in the match. She has maybe won two televised singles matches ever. Not a joke. Somehow that’s good enough to be included. The bigger issue, though, is that the simple answer all along was to book the dominant Sienna vs. Kim in the respected veteran’s last hurrah. Now it’s muddled down and a fraction as interesting and emotional as it should be. To top it off, Rosemary and Taya now look like giant idiots (much like half the roster), because all they had to do to be included in the title match at Bound For Glory was to claim that they should be in it.

Bound For Glory Rematches: WWE can get away with pay-per-view rematches on TV far easier than Impact can, because their shows cost a fraction of the price. For the low, low cost of $40-$55, you can see Eli Drake vs. Johnny Impact (again), OVE vs. LAX (again), AAA vs. Team Impact (again) Moose vs. Lashley (again), then variations of multi-man/woman matches you’ve already seen for the other titles.Why you’d be a fool not to pay up!

Things Should Matter: I often wish that professional wrestling displayed some sort of realism or consistency. Petey Williams lost last week to Trevor Lee after taking his finisher. This week he claimed he should be in the title match at Bound For Glory. Is he delusional? Shouldn’t Jim Cornette have pointed that fact out? No, because as stated above, nothing in this company matters on a week-to-week basis.

Things Should Matter – Part 2: Last time we saw Andrew Everett, he was a babyface battling his old partner Trevor Lee. After months away, he returned…as a heel…by the side of Trevor Lee. If your goal is to not draw money, but instead insult my intelligence on a weekly basis Impact, you are doing a damn good job!

Overall Show: This promotion stinks. There’s no other way to say it. If you watch the show, there’s nothing good going on besides Eli Drake and LAX. And neither of those acts are as over as they should be due to questionable booking. The company is a few weeks away from their version of WrestleMania and there’s no momentum to be had anywhere. It may seem like I’m a TNA/Impact hater, but if you read my column earlier in the year, I believe I gave the show a thumbs up six weeks in a row at one point. Times have definitely changed. This is nearing WCW Thunder levels of bad (or 2017 Smackdown bad). It feels like we’re back to the Destination America era where things happen on TV, but it often doesn’t make sense, and it all feels so, so pointless.

NOW CHECK OUT LAST WEEK’S COLUMN: IMPACT HITS & MISSES 9/28: Taco Bell chant, Eli Drake shines, Petey and Trevor, Invasion, Taya