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AEW COLLISION – HITS & MISSES
MARCH 8, 2025
SACRAMENTO, CALIF.
AIRED ON TNT
BY DAVID BRYANT, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Nigel McGuiness
– Hey! Welcome back to another edition of my AEW Collision Hits & Misses column — the best place to find the worst takes!
We are less than 24 Hours away from AEW’s Revolution PPV (or more removed, depending on when you’re reading this column), and I can’t wait for Toni Storm vs. Mariah May. There are also other matches on the card, I assume.
Either way, I can’t wait.
Just kidding. I can wait. I mean, I’d prefer not to, but I can. I won’t die.
That is unless you take into account the truth that we are actually all dying every second that we are alive because life is a timer that only stops once.
“THE OPPS” HOOK & SAMOA JOE & SHIBATA vs. STARBOY CHARLIE & JACK BANNING & TITUS ALEXANDER — HIT
I spent this entire match hoping Hook would use his “Redrum” finisher to tap out Starboy Charlie so that I could use the phrase “Hot Twink Taps,” but sadly, that is not what happened.
CLIFF CUTS A PROMO — HIT
Live from the basement of an Acme Factory, Cliff was able to pull off this promo with the skills and expertise I’ve come to expect from a world-title contender. In fact, despite anxiously watching with bated breath and fearing for the worst, I was pleasantly surprised to find myself witnessing one of the best promos Cliff has ever cut in AEW. If there was ever a time we needed a solid promo from Cliff, tonight was it.
That said, watching a world title contender cut a pre-match promo should not feel like watching a bear ride a unicycle. It should feel like an easy ride, free of pubic hair-related speed bumps and age-related potholes.
Side Note: Cliff spent a portion of this promo reminding us that his upcoming match at Revolution would be the first time he and Moxley faced each other one-on-one. To me, that is the biggest selling point of this match, and I wish AEW had spent more time working that angle into its marketing of the PPV.
Second Side Note: Please don’t have Moxley lose the title this Sunday. While I am looking forward to this match, I am not looking forward to Moxley losing to Copeland, and I fear that is where this is headed. I hope I am wrong.
Beating Moxley is one of the most prestigious things a person in AEW can do, and I hope the person who finally takes Moxley’s title is someone who needs the rub. Names like Will Ospreay, Kyle Fletcher, Jack Perry (Is he alive?), Swerve Strickland, Orange Cassidy, and even Darby Allin are just a few who come to mind. The name Copeland does not come to mind.
Copeland does not need the rub of a world title win; he is literally already a Hall of Famer. If AEW wants Copeland to be a part of their title’s lineage, I understand that desire, and I am not against it, but in my opinion, it would be wiser to have him take the AEW Championship from another wrestler at another point in time when AEW’s ratings are stronger and their future talents are better positioned.
SERENA DEEB vs. MOMO WATANABE AS SEEN THROUGH THE SUNGLASSES OF MERCEDES MONE — HIT
I was here for this match from the moment I saw an ad for it on the front cover of AEW’s Triller page, and it did not disappoint. This match was one of the highlights of tonight’s episode, and it received the show’s first “This is awesome!” chant.
Deeb is a hidden gem of AEW that should be less hidden and more showcased. I would particularly enjoy seeing a Serena Deeb vs. Harley Cameron feud at some point down the line, in which Deeb takes exception to the frivolity of Cameron’s outstanding character presentation. I feel like Deeb and Cameron’s styles would mesh well, and I know Deeb has the experience to get as great of a match out of Cameron as Mercedes Mone did at Grand Slam.
Speaking of Mercedes Mone…
Wearing sunglasses borrowed from Art the Clown and a smile borrowed from a sly fox in a luxury hen house built by the Swarovski family, Mercedes Mone stole this segment. Her character-accurate commentary was on point, humorous, and subtly sold the seriousness with which she took Watanabe.
During the match, Mone assured us of many things, including that she would never lose the TBS Championship and that Watanabe would never be allowed to kick her in the head like she had just done to Deeb. However, Mone’s acting was nuanced enough to show us that her assurances were every bit as insecure as the four Trump signs that are still on my neighbor’s lawn five months after the election ended.
OSPREAY CUTS A PROMO WHILE BEING TENDED TO BY AN AEW DOCTOR — HIT
I am very confused about what AEW’s doctors think doctors do…
Anyway, Ospreay opened his promo by talking about badges and the various Boy Scouts who have earned them over the years. He listed several people who I am sure were once a part of the Undisputed Kingdom and several people who might have been, but who knows? He just… kept listing names. A lot of names. Names like Jeff Cobb, TJ Perkins, Callum Newman, Bob Newhart, Great-O-Khan, Huckleberry Finn, Gideon Grey, Dorian Grey… To be honest, I stopped paying attention once I realized the United Empire’s locker room has more named characters than the Broadway musical “Cats,” but that doesn’t mean this was a bad promo.
Despite discovering that the United Empire is the size of a taxable municipality, I also learned all of the Empire’s citizens are somehow close friends and that Will Ospreay loves Kyle Fletcher. In fact, he REALLY loves Kyle Fletcher. He loves him as more than a brother. Kyle Fletcher is, “…a man that I love. I love you more than anything in this world. I would have done anything for you!”
Halfway through Ospreay’s proclamation of his unrequited love for Kyle Fletcher, I almost forgot I was watching a promo and thought I was watching the world’s most violent Valentine (Something I imagine Alex Windsor is surprised to hear about.)
However, all jokes aside, this violent Valentine cut straight to the heart of the Ospreay/Fletcher feud, and the only way this promo could have been better delivered was if it had happened in the ring.
HARLEY CAMERON vs. TATEVIK HUNANYAN — HIT
Wearing the sexiest Barbenheimer outfit I have ever seen, Harley Cameron took on a person whose last name has so many vowels that Arkady Aura stopped halfway through announcing her and proceeded to walk out of the ring in awkward silence.
While this match was short, it was also a lot of fun, and Cameron milked every drop of it that she could possibly milk. That is not to say that Hunanyan (which may or may not be a lyric in a future Lady Gaga song.) didn’t pull her own weight. She definitely did, and I hope to see her back in AEW as one-half of an intergender tag team with Mark Eydelshteyn.
KYLE FLETCHER CUTS A PROMO — HIT
“The only thing better than dropping people on their heads,” Feltcher said, “Is doing it while looking like a million bucks.” (He needs to have a talk with “his guy” because that price ain’t the right price.)
Fletcher also talked about his future, Ospreay standing in his way, and “prophecies.” By the end of this promo, I was starting to think, “Maybe Fletcher should actually beat Ospreay this weekend?” “Maybe AEW’s Revolution PPV could be his big defining moment?” I also started to think about how remarkable it is that Kyle Fletcher used to go by the name InstaGraham and looked like this.
SHANE TAYLOR PROMOTIONS PRESENTS THE INFANTRY vs. THE UNDISPUTED KINGDOM — MINOR-MISS
This wasn’t a bad match, but it felt like filler. Shane Taylor is a great talker, and because of that, I don’t know why we aren’t seeing him talk more often. Maybe then, he could go into further detail about the dreams, passions, and motivations of The Infantry because doing so certainly wouldn’t hurt.
During this match, Kyle O’Reilly began bleeding from a small spot on his forehead, and Roderick Strong started to bleed from his shin. I kept waiting for the referee’s black latex gloves to make a run-in, but they never did. Perhaps they were recently released by AEW to hire more tarps, or perhaps they’re saving their entire reservoir of gloves for the Mariah May vs. Toni Storm match at Revolution.
And the Ospreay vs. Fletcher match at Revolution.
And just in case Jon Moxley sneezes backstage at Revolution.
CALLIS AND TAKESHITA CUT A PRE-TAPED PROMO — HIT
Don Callis forgot his scar lipstick, but he was otherwise on fire for this one. One of the best lines of this segment was Callis briefly pretending his heart was only one size too small and stating, “Kenny Omega, God bless him; don’t wish any ill health on him…”
JON MOXLEY CUTS A SALAD — HIT
Moxley used this promo to lament that he and Copeland were the last of a dying breed of people who worked in an extraordinarily oppressive and exploitative system that drove many wrestlers into an early grave — as if that were a thing to pine for.
This promo is exactly the kind of promo Moxley should have been doing since the start of the Death Riders. What hurt the Death Riders wasn’t the group’s members or the word salad promos; it was the “bigness” of it all. They didn’t feel big. They talked like a faction that touched every aspect of AEW’s programming, but in reality, they didn’t.
The Death Rider’s antics were refined to the lanes of their own storylines, and that is where this potentially brilliant “old guard vs. new guard” plot went astray. If Moxley retrains at AEW Revolution, I hope Tony Khan takes the guardrails off of The Death Riders and allows this faction’s verbal threats to become a reality that no wrestler, regardless of their relevance to the Death Riders, is safe from.
That ever-present sense of terrifying awe is what made similar factions like “The Outsiders” work in the past; those factions felt bigger than the shows they were on. It is a shame that the producers in charge of the Death Riders’ storyline were not able to grasp this concept, or if they were able to grasp it, then it is a shame that they were unable to hold onto it tightly enough.
The last time we saw Darby Allin on PPV, he said something to the effect of, “What is wrong with all of you? You’re just standing around! They said they are coming to destroy AEW and everyone here!”
Had Allin’s proclamations been proven to be correct, this faction would now be viewed in a very different light. I wish Darby Allin had been right.
HOLOGRAM vs. DRALISTICO — HIT
Fresh off of his day job at Ripley’s Blacklight Mini-Golf, Hologram fought Dralistico in what I assume was meant to be AEW’s second-ever “Arcade Anarchy” match — complete with an all-new build-your-own-wrestler feature.
Afterward, The Beast Mortos ran in and attempted to rip off Hologram’s mask in an angle so original, it was literally replicated less than 24 hours later at Revolution.
My challenge to Tony Khan still stands: If you manage to use these two characters to tell a story that is as compelling and complex as the Storm/May storyline, I will gladly admit that I was wrong about Hologram and The Beast Mortos being interchangeable acts that are difficult “get into” due to a lack of a single crumb of relatability.
Hopefully, this attack from The Beast Mortos was the start of something spectacular (Outside of the ring, that is. Inside of the ring, these guys are very entertaining and talented. In fact, their in-ring talents are the reason I rated this match and segment a “Hit”)
FTR, THE UNDISPUTED KINGDOM, AND DANIEL GARCIA CUT A PROMO — MINOR-HIT
Every time I see FTR, I think about how bad The Outrunners are because FTR are the perfect example of how a modern tag team should pay tribute to “old school” wrestling in a way that doesn’t feel subliminally riddled with presentist views.
The reason I gave this promo a “minor-hit” instead of an out-and-out “hit” is because I was disappointed that Dax Harwood and Cash Wheeler didn’t have a better explanation for not having shaken the Undisputed Kingdom’s hands last week. I spent a lot of this week “speculating” about where that angle might be headed, and alas, it was brushed off as if it were nothing.
Also, Daniel Garcia’s ring gear has me craving McDonald’s.
THE AGONY ASSOCIATION™ CUT A PROMO — HIT
Flanked by two of the world’s most intimidating Secret Service agents, MVP cut a fantastic promo that would have left me hyped for Revolution if their match wasn’t against a team that literally looks like what would happen if Hulk Hogan ran out of vitamins and prayers.
ARI DAVARI AND TONY NESE ARE DISGRACED BY HAVING TO LOSE A MATCH TO THE OUTRUNNERS — WORDS
The Outrunners, a team that literally looks like what would happen if Hulk Hogan lost a fight to a washing machine set to “permanent press,” beat an underutilized team with a manager who gets involved so often in their matches that his interferences have become meaningless.
ARTICLE CONTINUED BELOW…
Check out the latest episode of “Wrestling Night in America,” part of the PWTorch Dailycast line-up: CLICK HERE to stream (or search “pwtorch” on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or any other iOS or Android app to subscribe free)
TONI STORM GETS ATTACKED ON THE RED CARPET — MEGA-HIT
Andy Kaufman would be proud. This was the most exciting thing to happen on a red carpet since Bjork’s swan dress… and probably just as confusing for some of the people in attendance (and by “some of the people,” I mean Damaris Lewis.)
Compared to AEW’s recent complacency, this idea was so far outside of the box that it practically rocket-launched itself into the solar plexus, and best of all, it was well executed.
My only note? More glitter next time. Everything is better with glitter.
JOHNNY TV, MXM COLLECTION, ORANGE CASSIDY, TAYA VALKYRIE, AND FOR SOME REASON, MARK BRISCOE CUT A PROMO — MINOR-HIT
While I can’t stand the thought of “Big Boom” being added to AEW’s card at Revolution, Taya Valkyrie’s stage presence and impressive figure (Have any of ya’ll noticed the great shape she is in now?) distracted me.
DANIEL GARCIA vs. LEE MORIARTY — MEGA-HIT
This match stole the show, and the other matches are filing a police report.
In all seriousness, both of these men are the kinds of people Jon Moxley should be losing his title to. I have nothing against Adam Copeland, but the last time he stole a show, the building was made of lead paint, asbestos, and failed safety inspections. I am not trying to take anything away from Copeland. I am a fan. I’m just trying to point out that time is cruel to everyone, and while Cope (Can someone please make a Rope-A-Cope joke?) can still “go” this weekend, there will soon come a time when he will have to go forever.
So, before that time comes, let’s build up the stars of tomorrow today.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Before I wrapped up my thoughts on this event, I just wanted to point out how much I loved tonight’s venue. The proscenium was striking, the audience was well shot (Thank God this column is far, far removed from Aurora, Colorado.), and its atmosphere felt both intimate and professional at the same time. Please, AEW, I am begging you, find more venues like this one. There are so many more venues like this one out there, and showcasing them is a great way to turn lemons into lemon bars made by grandmothers whose houses smell like bakeries.
Would we rather not have to deal with lemons? Sure, but we do, and it is better to embrace those lemons than to ignore them — just ask the 9 Grammy nominations Beyonce got for “Lemonade.”
As for this show, it was a good “go-home” show with good in-ring action. Therefore, if I were to grade it on a 7-point grading scale, I would give it a 94 for match quality and an 86 for storytelling. Those two numbers average out to a 90 which is at the bottom-most range of a B+.
Overall Match Grade: A-
Overall Storylines Grade: B
SHOW GRADE: B+
DAVID’S DODGY MATCH RECOMMENDATIONS:
- Match of the Night: Daniel Garcia vs. Lee Moriarty
- Second Best Match: Hologram vs. Dralistico
- Third Best Match: Serena Deeb vs. Momo Watanabe
Thank you all for reading. I truly appreciate it. And as always, I’m still working on my sign-off, but until next week, remember, the song “Defying Gravity” literally murdered Isaac Newton’s entire life’s work; have sympathy.
(David Bryant’s bathroom-selfies can be found on his “Artist Formerly Known as Twitter” account @IamDavidBryant; a video of David Bryant being knocked unconscious by an exploding television set can be found on his Instagram account @IamDavidBryant, and David Bryant’s Threads account is threadbare and also located @IamDavidBryant because David Bryant sucks at usernames. David is a published author, circus artist, drag promoter, male pageant winner, unrenowned musician, sloppy figure skater, and the inventor of the world’s first ghost-whispering telegram. Less impressively, David studied screenwriting at the University of North Carolina School of the Arts.)
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