WWE OVERS & UNDERS: Jey Uso brings comic relief to horror, Carlito was so funny he ruined my iPhone, Nia the butt of her own joke

Well folks, Money in the Bank is in the can. Tiffany Stratton continues her cosplay of a clock, Drew McIntyre went bankrupt and Solo Sikoa can continue wearing his biker gloves without a motorcycle in sight. No better (Tiffy) time than now to dig into the most overrated and under-appreciated moments from WWE this week.

UNDER-APPRECIATED ON RAW – JEY USO BRINGS THE COMIC RELIEF TO HORROR

At the end of Jey Uso’s match with Chad Gable, the lights (predictably) started to shut off. Once again the Wyatt Sicks managed to sabotage an arena from paying the electric bill on time. Just before the emergence of the morbid video delivery service, Jey Uso looked right down the barrel of the hard camera and gave one final, fear-filled “Yeet” before getting out of dodge. That was absolutely hilarious and perfectly timed. Comedy always makes horror more effective because it calms you down for a stronger impact moments later. I want to see Jey cameo in a zombie film where he gets the Yeet out before zombies get in.

OVERRATED ON RAW – MIZ HAS WORSE TIMING THAN A DAMIAN PRIEST KICKOUT

Maybe The Miz needs to get himself a new Tiffy timepiece, because his rap timing is horrendous. He tries, admirably, to be R-Truth’s lyrical hype man, but can’t stay on rhythm. It’s like watching Helen Keller in a musical, tone deaf timing and blind to how obvious it is. I say this as a die-hard fan of the Miz and hip hop in general. This just isn’t his thing. I love brownie sundaes. I love pizza. But sometimes two great things ruin each other when combined. You’re the Miz, and that’s…AWWWWWWWWWWWFUL.

UNDER-APPRECIATED ON RAW – CARLITO WAS SO FUNNY THAT HE RUINED MY IPHONE

When The Judgment Day walked in on Dom LIVing life to the fullest, Carlito had the subtle line of the night. Someone said “it doesn’t look that hard.” Carlito brilliantly added “it looks pretty hard to me.” Now, let me paint a picture for you. At the time, I was watching this on my iPhone. I was also enjoying a nice healthy-sized glass of what Cody Rhodes would call “a libation.” Carlito, completely inconsiderate of my situation, sniped this line in out of nowhere. This then caused me to nearly choke, and uncontrollably spit out my beverage. This then doused my iPhone in the finest boxed wine, and it hasn’t worked right since. Carlito, you owe me an iPhone, sir. That wasn’t cool. Also, special shout out to the master of throw away zingers, Dom Mysterio, for telling Liv Morgan that if they’re going to strategize together, there better be tendies or nuggies. Classic Dom, amiright? Fun fact, dinosaur-shaped nuggies taste better than egg-shaped ones, and that’s just science.

OVERRATED ON SMACKDOWN – TOMMASO CIAMPA GOES FULL NASCAR

Why, during his arena walk-in with Johnny Gargano, is Tommaso Ciampa dressed like a walking billboard for Dunkin’ Donuts? I get that it’s Massachusetts where we run on Dunkin’, hell, I’m from there, AND my last name is Duncan, but even I think this is overboard. Tommaso, you look like the human embodiment of a Nascar…err…car. I like to think you only made left turns throughout your entire walk into the arena. I’m going to go grab a Dunkin’ Donuts iced coffee so I can continue my hypocritical diatribe, burying Ciampa’s need for a life vest for how overboard this is. But if you take one thing from this monologue, let this be it. In this world, you’re either a DunCAN or a DunCANT. Tommaso, I don’t have enough can’ts to even with you right now. This is more extra than the credit I needed to pass 9th grade algebra, he says as he pats himself on back, D.I.Y.-style.

OVERRATED ON SMACKDOWN – NIA BECOMES THE BUTT OF HER OWN JOKE

Nia Jax’s match with Michin was going perfectly fine until Nia decided to, uh, crack a joke mid match. She bent over, grabbed her cheeks, and went full “Ace Ventura” and talked trash to Bayley with her gluteus maximus for minimum effect. Why was that necessary? You’re supposed to be the unstoppable force, not the butt of your own joke. I think this gimmick stinks. Nia, you’re never going to get to number 1 by invoking number 2. You’re a queen now, this is, uh, beneath you. You should be kicking butt not talking butt. Okay, now I’m done with the potty humor. I’m all for the cheeky jokes but this is ridiculous. Only a bum would lower themselves to such a joke to crack people up. This taunt was rock bottom for Jax. Okay, I promise I’m done now.

UNDER-APPRECIATED ON SMACKDOWN – BARON CORBIN’S GHOST HAIR

I find it strangely amusing to see Baron Corbin still doing the same duck and sway movement during his entrance. Did he forget that he shaved off his hair metal-worthy locks? His head is the human-embodiment of cosplaying the back of John Cena’s head. Also, it’s always nice to see that an old face is still employed. Speak of the devil, it’s Apollo “I’m still here” Crews! Surely they have a formidable team to face that will elevate them back into the mainstream. And we get…drumroll…Angel and Berto, in a no stakes throwdown of micro proportions. Who will earn the opportunity to solidify themselves as the second to worst-positioned team in the WWE? Who will stake their claim as a future seat filler in the Royal Rumble? The tension couldn’t be more lukewarm and primed for a bathroom break.

UNDER-APPRECIATED ON SMACKDOWN – JACOB FATU IS LIKE A VIOLENT ROBERT FROST

Jacob Fatu’s decimation of D.I.Y. was a violent display of pure poetry. He is a freakish hybrid of monstrous size and inhuman agility. He’s like a rage-fueled Robert Frost, unleashing violently inspired, enlightened poetry on anyone in his way. He reminds me of King Kong if he were trained as a ninja, had the agility of an Olympic gymnast, and the demeanor of a Sasquatch with rabies. Too far? Go back and watch the segment again. I could sit here throwing around adjectives about this guy all day and it still wouldn’t break the surface of potential descriptors, that still wouldn’t do him justice. On a side note, does anyone else think that Tonga Loa went to his high school prom solo, dressed sharply, but stood in the corner without anyone to dance with all night?

I’ll be back next week to highlight the inevitable bullying tactics of C.M. Punk, rock around the clock with Tiffy Time, and get the Yeet outta town before the incurable Wyatt Sicks contagion spreads.