SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
The following report originally published 20 years ago this week here at PWTorch.com…
WWE Raw Report
November 17, 2003
Live from Beaumont, Texas
Aired on Spike TV
Report by Mallory Mahling, PWTorch contributor
Quarter Hour 1
The show opened with Eric Bischoff spray-painting graffiti on Stone Cold’s General Manager portrait.
Highlights were shown of Steve Austin’s heartfelt remarks last night after his team lost the match on which Austin’s job was riding. After his speech, he’d left two forlorn cans of beer in the ring.
Live in the ring was Bischoff and the members of Team Bischoff. He stomped the last Steveweiser can flat and said this was a new beginning . . . or the beginning of the end . . . depending on whose side you were on.
He was so pleased with Team Bischoff that he said he’d grant each of them a special favor.
Before the festivities could go any farther, “It’s All About the Game” hit, and Evolution came down to join the party.
Jim Ross and Jerry “The King” Lawler chimed in and welcomed viewers to the this post-Survivor Series Raw.
Triple H said he knew he was speaking for the crowd and congratulated Bischoff. (“BOOOO,” went the crowd, who didn’t appreciate Triple H putting words in their mouths, and a “Goldberg” chant started up.) Triple H put over Randy Orton and Batista for helping Bischoff get the win.
Bischoff the Brown Nosed Reindeer said Triple H was absolutely right and granted him a rematch with Goldberg any time he wanted.
“That’s awfully white of you, Eric,” said Triple H, then looked at Mark Henry and added “no offense.” WHAT DID HE JUST SAY??? That was so un-PC.
Triple H started whining about the sledgehammer that had been used last night by Goldberg. Never mind the fact that Triple H had intended to use it first. But Eric got his drift, and made a 3-on-1 match for tonight. Triple H, Orton and Batista vs. Goldberg.
(Commercial break)
Footage was shown of Mark Henry eliminating Booker T at Survivor Series.
Breaking News: J.R. said Ric Flair had just been granted an Intercontinental Championship match tonight against Rob Van Dam.
(1) Booker T pinned Mark Henry. This was pretty much a squash until Booker T was able to get to his feet and set up a scissors kick, but Theodore Long interfered by grabbing Booker’s ankle. Booker again battled back to his feet. A kick to the face of Mark Henry, followed by a successful scissors kick. Booker fell to his knees and launched into a “Texas-sized Spineroone.” A missile drop kick onto Mark Henry, and it looked like Booker had it won. Mark Henry power slammed Booker and went for a pin. Booker got a shoulder up just in time. Then Booker T rolled up Henry (with his feet on the ropes) and got the three-count.
All during the match J.R. and Lawler talked about Booker’s troubled past. (They’re either never going to let him live it down, or it has something to do with that mystery note Booker received last week.)
(Commercial break)
(2) Tag Team Match: Mark Jindrak & Garrison Cade over La Resistance (Rob Conway & Rene Dupree). Cade grabbed a mic and said they were sick of their opponents’ “crap.” He said they were dedicating this match to the men and women serving in the U.S. Armed Forces, many of whom were in the audience.
This was a short, but fast-paced match with some solid action. Cade got the winning pin after an impressive flying finisher executed by the team.
Tommy Dreamer and Maven were chatting with Shawn Michaels, who would be up next with a statement.
(Commercial break)
Quarter Hour 3
J.R. said the show just wasn’t the same without Stone Cold.
Shawn Michaels was on the TitanTron and J.R. began to interview him. Bischoff and some armed guards put a stop to it.
Michaels told Eric, “the incredible dirt bag,” that he’d taken away something that Stone Cold loved. Then Bischoff told the guards to escort Michaels from the building.
Still photos were shown of last night’s Ambulance Match between Kane and Shane. J.R. said Shane was still under medical care and was in guarded condition.
Lawler said Kane would appear on Smackdown Thursday night to eulogize his brother, the Undertaker.
Test and Scott Steiner talked about their upcoming tag team title shot. Stacy moped in the background. “Oink, oink,” went Test when he called Stacy his property.
(Commercial break)
(3) Intercontinental Title Match: Rob Van Dam over Ric Flair via disqualification. The referee told RVD that the Five Star Frog Splash had been banned and would be illegal for this match. Randy Orton joined J.R. and the King on commentary.
Quarter Hour 2
The match started with dueling “Whooooo’s” and “R-V-D’s.” RVD was more than up to the task, even if he couldn’t use his finisher. Lots of chops, and Flair put RVD in a prolonged Figure Four. RVD got in some flips, then a kick to take Flair down. RVD came off the top rope and flattened Flair, then used the Rolling Thunder. Orton interfered, which gave Flair an opportunity for a low blow. Flair went for the pin, but RVD kicked out.
A spinning kick took Flair down, but Van Dam went up top and decided to use the Five Star anyway. Orton knocked him off the ropes and crotched him, then gave RVD the RKO. By disqualification, the winner was Rob Van Dam.
Orton picked up the IC belt and tried it on before dropping it onto Van Dam, who was writhing in pain on the mat.
Backstage, Jonathan Coachman was wandering around in his cervical collar. Hurricane and Rosey laughed at him.
Bischoff said he had a plan for next week’s Raw in “boring” Salt Lake City. He was going to bring Raw Roulette back. Coach told Bishcoff he was brilliant, as visions of showgirls danced in his head.
(Commercial break)
The Highlight Reel was set up in the ring and host Chris Jericho addressed the crowd. He said Austin had been in over his head as co-GM of Raw. He was proud that his protesting of Austin’s position and his leadership in the mutiny, as well as his chair shot to Shawn Michaels, had combined to cost Austin his job. He asked for a “hell yeah,” but got boos from the “Tex-ass clowns” instead. “Buh-bye, Steve,” he said, somewhat disingenuously.
Quarter Hour 5
Jericho introduced his guest, Lita, with some back-handed compliments. He said he had a suprise backstage for Lita, and she thought it was pesty Christian. Jericho said it was a good surprise, someone who was making his big return to Monday Night Raw — MATT HARDY! The crowd popped as soon as his graphics appeared on the TitanTron. Matt and Lita shared a big hug.
Matt took Lita’s hand and knelt down. He said he had something to ask her. The crowd was breathless with anticipation. But Molly Holly came out to throw cold water on the tender moment.
Molly said she had a question. She wanted to know what she had to do to get some respect? She was the Women’s Champ and had defeated Lita last night. But everything still revolved around Lita. (Molly was looking like Chyna Jr. tonight.)
Jericho said he wanted to see the happy couple together again — against Molly and a partner of her choice. That was fine with Molly, and after thinking for a moment, she picked Eric Bischoff as her partner.
(Commercial break) Be sure to buy Unscripted — even if you don’t have a coffee table to put it on.
Backstage, Bischoff was livid about being involved in a match. Molly sweet-talked him about it being the beginning of the end of Lita. But if Molly was wrong, said Eric, Lita would get a rematch. Eric said he was hoping Lita would lose so he could fire her.
(4) Tag Team Title Match: The Dudleyz over Test & Scott Steiner (w/Stacy Keibler). (Bubba was making a really ugly fashion statement in Bermuda shorts and pasty white legs.)
Quarter Hour 6
Test and Steiner bullied the Dudleyz, which is not an easy thing to do. Sidewalk Slam by Bubba on Freakzilla, followed immediately by a slam by Steiner. Meanwhile, Stacy pouted an ringside.
Test had Bubba in a submission hold, and Stacy rallied the crowd behind Bubba. He came back with a Bubba Bomb on Test and made the tag to D-Von. D-Von unloaded on Test and Steiner, then went for a cover. Cheap shot by Steiner, who was tossed out of the ring. Left hands by Bubba on Test. Test found himself on the receiving end of a Whazzup. “D-Von, get the tables,” shouted Bubba, but Steiner suplexed Bubba and foiled their plans.
Steiner grabbed the title belt, but was double-teamed by the Dudleyz who wanted him to get his mitts off it. Test was ignored by Stacy when he ordered her to give him the title belt, and Test got a 3-D. The Dudleyz retained their titles.
Matt and Lita were talking backstage, and she tried to get him to finish asking her the “big question.” When he walked away, Lita and Trish giggled and speculated that Matt intended to propose.
(Commercial break) Ric Flair’s DVD set, WWE – The Ultimate Ric Flair Collection, will be released tomorrow.
(5) Intergender Tag Match: Eric Bischoff & Molly Holly over Lita & Matt Hardy. So-so action between Molly and Lita. Bischoff was wearing his suit (a $13,000 Armani suit, claimed the King), so you knew he was going to be worthless in the ring. Lita slugged Bischoff before she went to make the tag to Matt. Matt refused to accept the tag, and Bischoff slammed Lita backwards and gave her an awkward pin. Lita was confused and brokenhearted. She’d been fired by Bischoff and betrayed by her boyfriend. She’d lost more than a match.
Matt finally asked her “the question.” It was: “How could you be so selfish?” He was angry that she wanted to come back to Raw and win the women’s title, which made her career more important to her than their relationship. “WE ARE THROUGH,” he yelled at her. Lita was near tears trying to comprehend what had just happened.
(Commercial break)
Quarter Hour 7
Moments ago, Matt had broken up with Lita.
(6) Val Venis (w/Lance Storm and The Hos) over Rico (w/Jackie Gayda). Very good match. Rico was quite aggressive, but there was no interest in the match from the commentators, who were busy fighting about anything and everything. J.R. finally apologized for his mood and unprofessional remarks.
Venis made a comeback and got a near pin. Neck breaker by Rico, but Venis kicked out. Jackie tried to interfere, but got sent flying to the outside, where Lance copped a feel. Venis took the win with a Money Shot and a pin.
Backstage, Lita had gathered her gear and her adorable dog, and ran into Christian on her way out the door. Christian said he’d used his favor from Bischoff to get Lita her job back. He was very sweet, not the usual smarmy Christian.
(Commercial break)
Quarter Hour 8
Last night, Steve Austin had said he’d begun his career in Dallas, and, reluctantly, he was ending it in Dallas, too.
During Survivor Series, Randy Orton had assaulted Dallas Mavericks owner, Mark Cuban. Evolution gloated as they watched the video in their dressing room.
Orton said he wanted to win the IC Title because so many legends had held it. He named off a few, including the Honky Tonk Man. He neglected to mention Triple H’s name, a fact that riled Helmsley.
Triple H let them know that the pin on Goldberg in tonight’s match was reserved for him.
Chris Jericho asked Trish out for dinner, but she was angry because he’d set up her friend to get her heart broken. She didn’t understand why he’d done that. The Chris she knows is not the Chris she’d seen in the ring. Jericho insisted that he thought Matt had intended to propose to Lita. They shared a tender kiss . . . and it looked like he’d been forgiven.
(Commercial break)
J.R. said the next match would be maiming and mutilating. Lovely.
Quarter Hour 9
(7) Triple H & Randy Orton & Batista over Goldberg. Randy Orton and Goldberg locked up, but Goldberg disposed of him pretty quickly. Goldberg military pressed Orton and dropped him onto Batista and Triple H, whom he’d already knocked down like bowling pins.
Batista was in next and it didn’t look like he’d forgiven Batista for breaking his ankle. Goldberg power slammed him. The Game broke up with pin that followed.
Finally, Triple H and Goldberg squared off. Goldberg back body dropped Triple H and was about to go for the spear when Flair grabbed his leg. Batista tagged back in, followed by Orton with a standing drop kick. Triple H found himself on the business end of a spear, then Orton and Batista got outpowered by Big Bill. He looked unstoppable. But he wasn’t. An RKO by Orton on Goldberg. Batista softend up Goldberg for Triple H, who got the Pedigree and the 1-2-3.
As if winning weren’t enough, Triple H brought a chair into the ring. Triple H told Goldberg it wasn’t over yet. Next week — Goldberg vs. Triple H for the championship. Then Triple H wedged Goldberg’s head in the chair and was about to jump on it.
Suddenly, Kane’s pyro hit and Evolution meekly left the ring. Why was he there? To make the save? Nope, Kane chokeslammed Goldberg to right to hell. Poor Goldberg, he’s collecting some powerful enemies.
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