SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
C.M. Punk vs. Ricky Starks
By declaring himself the “real world’s champion” a la Ric Flair in 1992, whining that he never lost the title despite it being vacated a la Shawn Michaels in 1994, and desecrating the title belt a la Hulk Hogan in 1996, C.M. Punk finally turned heel or so it would seem. The problem is the entire thing put Ricky Starks in an awkward position. Starks is supposed to be the heel even though the crowd is cheering him and he readily accepted a match for a fraudulent title. Even more confusing apparent new heel Punk chose the ultimate whitest meat babyface in Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat to be the special outside enforcer for the match. To the surprise of nobody, Punk “retained” his “title” with Ricky Steamboat counting the pin after a ref bump Stevie Wonder could’ve seen coming. Punk now moves into feuding with arch rival Samoa Joe for All In with a pit stop next week alongside FTR challenging the House of Black for the trios titles. Starks meanwhile is adrift. He cemented himself as a heel by attacking The Dragon with his own belt after the match. I’m not sure where Ricky goes from here and that’s a shame.
Grade: B-
Acclaimed vs. House of Black
It appears that the feud between Andrade El Idolo and the HOB is officially over. Meanwhile the HOB have been quietly feuding with the Acclaimed and Billy Gunn since Double or Nothing. They’ve beaten them soundly twice, both times with Daddy Ass taking the pin. Following the most recent loss, Billy took off his boots and left them in the ring, signifying his retirement. As Yoda would say, unlikely to stick that retirement is. I wholeheartedly believe that the HOB will do something to the Acclaimed which will force Billy to lace up the boots one more time and this time Daddy Ass and his adopted “sons” will be successful in toppling like the deadly trio.
Grade: N/A
Darby Allin & Scorpio Sky vs. Luchasaurus & Christian Cage
Only one of these feuds got airtime in the last two weeks. Darby Allin survived Minoru Suzuki by using the Bret Hart sleeper reversal on Crazy Murder Grandpa. Evil Steve Jobs cut a predictably smarmy promo on him afterwards. This past week there was still no sign of Scorpio Sky but Christian did cut another smarmy promo complete with having security throw his own young daughter out of the building. I’m starting to think this isn’t going to be a double album of a feud after all.
Grade: B+
Miro & Powerhouse Hobbs vs. QTV
I’m including Hobbs in this because he’s the basis for this entire feud. QT is trying to prove something to Hobbs by going after the biggest dog in the yard. It’s a suicide mission but you almost have to admire his gumption. I expect Miro to decimate the QTV clown car before getting to QT himself. The question is does this culminate in a Miro vs Hobbs match? While that would be a hell of hoss fight I don’t think it’s worth keeping Hobbs associated with this goofy group. Update: Hobbs still wants nothing to do with the QTV clown car so that’s good.
Grade: Incomplete
FTR
FTR really are the Bee Gees of wrestling right now. Not every match is a “How Can You Mend a Broken Heart”-level masterpiece but they’re all “Jive Talkin'”-level bangers. The match between them and Big Bill and Brian Cage was loads of fun. The important stuff happened after the bell when Dax and Cash challenged the Young Bucks to complete the trilogy with them at All In. We may bear witness to the greatest tag team match of all time in front of 80,000 strong at Wembley so buckle up folks.
Grade: N/A
Kris Statlander vs Mercedes Martinez
Do not adjust your television sets. There is something resembling an actual Women’s Division sprouting on Collision. Kris Statlander successfully defended her TBS title in a pretty good match against Mercedes Martinez. Afterwards Mercedes attacked Stat again. Diamante made her return to AEW TV, quickly joining Martinez in assaulting Statlander. That drew out Willow Nightingale and voila we have a tag match for this week. At last we have a real feud and it’ll be interesting to see where all of this goes
Grade: B
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