12/14 WWE MONDAY NIGHT RAW REPORT: Hazelwood’s “alt-perspective” on “WWE Championship Ascension Ceremony” Styles vs. Sheamus, Wyatt, Lana vs. Jax, more

 

WWE MONDAY NIGHT RAW REPORT TV REPORT
DECEMBER 14, 2020
ST. PETERSBURG, FLA. AT TROPICANA FIELD (THE “THUNDERDOME”)
AIRED ON USA NETWORK
REPORT BY BRUCE LEE HAZELWOOD, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR

Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Samoa Joe

Ring Announcer: Mike Rome

[HOUR ONE]

-They began with a recap video of last week’s miscommunication in the handicap match between Drew McIntyre and Sheamus before playing the intro video. Tom Phillips welcomed us from the “award winning” and “critically acclaimed” Thunderdome from their new home, Tropicana Field, the home of the MLB’s Tampa Bay Rays. They hyped the “WWE Championship Ascension Ceremony,” A.J. Styles vs. Sheamus, and Bray Wyatt’s “field trip” to the Tunderdome.

-“The Dirt Sheet” intro played as they shifted to The Miz sitting in the ring by himself as he  begins “The Nightmare before TLC.” He plugged Miz & Mrs. and a handicap match with himself and John Morrison vs. Keith Lee. He shifted to telling the story of the WWE Championship match at TLC. He called Styles the hero, the protagonist of the story, snapped his fingers, and the light shone on Styles standing in the corner. Styles then made sure the light shined on Omos, but The Miz snapped them off. He called McIntyre the “bravest of all, a mighty Scottish warrior.” He snapped, and Morrison was standing in the corner dressed like William Wallace and doing a bad Scottish accent. Styles and Morrison mimed Styles dominance with some weapons, and even ducked and kicked away “McIntyre’s” claymore and proclaimed, “Chivalry’s dead, like your title run,” before running Morr- “McIntyre” through with the sword. Styles then climbed the ladder the mimic becoming the new WWE Champion. The Miz said that if Styles should fail, that’s when he’d step in and cash in his contract, but he said “pin A.J” to the chagrin of Styles. Styles complained that wasn’t the in the script he gave them before Sheamus’ music interrupted.

He called it “community performance theater” and reminded Styles they have a match tonight. He said he’s prepared to fight “with my fists.” Styles said if he isn’t a part of the solution, then he’s part of the problem, to which Sheamus said he prefers the latter. Styles slowly backed away and then threw the Christmas tree in the ring at Sheamus. Sheamus responded by chucking a wrapped present into Styles’ face as they cut to break. [c]

(1) A.J. STYLES (w/Omos) vs. SHEAMUS

-They returned with Sheamus gaining the early advantage with his power. He locked in a modified Cobra Clutch as he shoved Styles into the corner. Sheamus with strikes as Phillips informed us McIntyre and Sheamus will not face repercussions for slamming Pat Buck through a table last week as Buck “shouldn’t have gotten involved.” Styles gained the advantage with a kick to Sheamus, but Sheamus reversed an Irish whip and sent Styles chest first into the turnbuckle (think Bret Hart). Sheamus grounded away at Sheamus’ face with his knee, but Styles responded with kicks to the hamstring back on their feet. Sheamus hit a huge back body drop as Styles yelled out in pain. Sheamus locked in a modified neck crank, then cranked on the nostrils using every last bit of the referee’s count. Styles lulled Sheamus into the corner and threw him out of the ring. Sheamus on the apron, but caught up in the ropes as Styles hit him with strikes and a running knee (V-Trigger). The ref counted to seven as Styles intercepted Sheamus, but Sheamus suplex tossed Styles twice. A third was countered by a throat chop and enziguri as Sheamus rolled to the outside. Sheamus has Styles in a powerbomb position on the outside, but Omos grabbed Styles as Omos and Sheamus stared each other down. They cut to break. [c]

They returned with Styles working the left leg, keeping Sheamus in a leg lock. Sheamus responded with vicious elbows to Styles, who finally released the hold. On their feet, Styles regained control by kicking out Sheamus’ leg. He worked the leg some more, going back to it every time Sheamus tried fighting back. He gave Sheamus a stiff kick across the chest, but was hit with an Irish Curse. However, Sheamus used his compromised leg to hit the maneuver. Sheamus with two double axe handles and a fallaway slam, but slow to his feet as he favored the leg. He hit Styles with a running knee of his own, but only scored a two-count. Styles sent Sheamus to the outside right in front of Omos and they stared at each other a bit. On the apron, Sheamus hit Ten Beats of the Bodhran and climbed to the top for a diving lariat. Two-count. Sheamus looked for White Noise, but Styles broke out and rolled into the Calf Crusher. Styles talked smack to Sheamus as he grabbed the bottom rope. Styles wanted the Styles Clash, but Sheamus hit White Noise for a two-count. They show Omos on the outside as he said, “Come on, brother, come on,” to Styles. Sheamus heavily favored his left leg as he grabbed Styles and climbed the corner, possibly for an avalanche White Noise. Styles slipped out, chop blocked Sheamus on the middle rope, and pinned him for the victory.

WINNER: A.J. Styles at 15:55

-After the match, they showed replays, beginning with the initial kick that hurt Sheamus. Styles and Omos celebrate as they exit the ringside area. Sheamus slowly rose to his feet as Styles talked smack. Sheamus grabbed Styles, but Omos grabbed Sheamus and caused Sheamus’ leg to get caught up in the ropes. Styles kicked away at Sheamus’ chest as Omos grabbed a chair. Styles then hit Sheamus across the chest with the chair five times, the left knee once, and a final shot across the midsection as Sheamus laid prone with his foot still caught in the rope. A referee came to check on Sheamus, but left him tied up in the ropes hanging upside down. Styles grabbed the chair again and hit Sheamus another three times across the midsection. He menacingly laughed after and told Sheamus to “enjoy that.” They hyped the WWE Championship TLC match at this Sunday’s pay-per-view. They also hyped Wyatt’s “field trip” to the Thunderdome as they cut to break. [c]

(Hazelwood’s Take: That opening segment was one of those sports-entertainment segments that works only because it fits the character of those three wrestlers to a T. Otherwise, it was “community theater” at best, high school improv at worst. Sheamus’ lines were a little off because of his pacing to the ring. However, the match was a great TV match with a nice story told for the smaller heel to believably defeat the larger tweener-face. The angle after the match was pretty brutal, but put over Styles being willing to do anything to win the WWE Championship, including calling on the aid of Omos. Still, no help from the ref or McIntyre?)

-They returned with the commentators hyping NXT, then shifting to why the forthcoming six-man tag team match is taking place between The New Day & Jeff Hardy vs. The Hurt Business. They showed The Hurt Business entering the arena earlier today and approaching a crew member wearing a Riddle hat and eating a “Bronut,” which he says he just found. They bullied him a bit before Lashley asked if he knew what went good with doughnuts. He then poured an entire carton of milk on the crew member. Shelton Benjamin said, “It’s organic.” They saw Sarah Schreiber and invited her over. She asked about Riddle and MVP insulted him a bit before saying he’s going to teach Riddle about respect. Then he said he’s going to teach her about journalism since she should have asked about them. Lashley said they’re going to send their opponents into their own world of hurt.

-They shifted to The New Day & Hardy in Gorilla as Riddle approached. He said they all miss Big E so why don’t they team up with “Bro E” in their corner. They agreed as Hardy’s music and he sid to Riddle, “Why don’t we give The Hardy Bros a spin?” They entered, followed by The New Day for their match against The Hurt Business.

(Hazelwood’s Take: Please, please stop letting Riddle speak. Please.)

-They returned with the three still dancing to The New Day’s music. The Hurt Business then made their entrance, accompanied by M.V.P. They hyped the Tag Team Championship match this Sunday between The New Day and Benjamin & Alexander.

(2) THE NEW DAY (Kofi Kingston & Xavier Woods) & JEFF HARDY (w/Riddle) vs. THE HURT BUSINESS (Bobby Lashley & Shelton Benjamin & Cedric Alexander w/M.V.P.)

-Woods and Lashley began as Lashley looked to lock in The Hurt Lock early. Woods escaped, but ate a shoulder tackle for his troubles. Woods fought off Lashley and tagged in Kingston, but Lashley hit a military press slam as Alexander tagged himself in. Lashley glared at Alexander, who looked apologetic, but allowed Kingston to take the advantage as he tagged in Hardy. The commentators hyped the Slammy Awards. Hardy worked the left arm of Alexander, but Alexander fought off Hardy and tagged in Benjamin. Hardy sent Benjamin over the top and hit Lashley off the apron, and Kingston followed by sending Alexander to the floor. Woods grabbed Francesca II (or III?) and started playing as they cut to break. [c]

[HOUR TWO]

They returned with Kingston kicking away at Benjamin, who responded by lifting and shoving Kingston into the corner. Kingston responded with a running clothesline and The New Day Boom Drop. He set up in the corner for Trouble in Paradise, but as the ref as distracted Lashley easily lifted and tossed Kingston to the outside. Samoa Joe said he saw it and can’t even believe it. Benjamin rolled him back in for a two-count, then Lashley tagged in. He hit Kingston with a snap suplex, glared at Woods in the corner, and tagged in Alexander. He worked the midsection, including a deadlift amateur style takedown. He locked in a rear chinlock (the Randy Orton Special), then slammed Kingston to the mat. Benjamin tagged in and bodyslammed Kingston twice, snapping them off at the end. Kingston tried fighting back to no avail as Lashley tagged in. Lashley worked the midsection on Kingston in multiple corners, but ate kicks from Kingston. Lashley only seemed enraged from that as he raked and mashed Kingston’s face in the corner. Benjamin and then Alexander tagged in as they both put boots to Kingston in the corner .Joe complimented the coordination and cohesion of The Hurt Business. Benjamin tagged in and grounded Kingston as the commentators they keep getting opportunities because they keep winning (what a novel thought!). Benjamin knocked Woods off the apron, but was then countered by Kingston hitting a rather ugly looking standing one-footed stomp.

Hardy finally tagged in and hit Benjamin with strikes, inverted atomic drop, leg drop, and standing splash for a two-count. Alexander made a blind tag and drilled Hardy with lifting knee for a two-count. Hardy reversed a strike and hit a side Russian leg sweep into a pin for a two-count. Things broke down as everyone hit moves, with Kingston hitting a missile dropkick and then a tope to Lashley. Woods tried a slingshot, but Lashley caught him and drove him into the barricade, then hit Kingston with a lariat. Hardy kicked Lashley, but was rolled into a pin for a two-count twice, then a bridge for another two-count. Lashley tagged in as Hardy hit the Twist of Fate on Alexander. Lashley hit the post shoulder first, but as Hardy climbed for the Whisper in the Wind, Alexander pulled him down, leading to Lashley locking in The Hurt Lock for the victory.

WINNER: The Hurt Business at 15:51.

-They shifted to recapping the ongoing saga of Lana. They showed Lana talking to Asuka in Gorilla and she said she thinks they’ll become Tag Team Champion, but she’s scared of facing Nia Jax alone. Asuka said Jax is scary, but “even though you’re scared, you’re still going to face her, right? That makes you the bravest person I know, and I’m proud to be your friend.” Pep talk aside, Lana made her entrance sans Asuka. [c]

(Hazelwood’s Take: Another solid TV match for Raw, and The Hurt Business continues to build a case to be the Tag Team Champion. If they don’t win on Sunday, WWE will be doing irrevocable damage to the group. They need to make the change now; otherwise, the past month has been for naught.)

-They returned with Lana still waiting in the ring with a nervous smile as the commentators hyped the Women’s Tag Team Championship match this Sunday. Jax made her entrance sans Shayna Baszler, glaring at Lana the whole time. Lana’s face shifted from smile to fear.

(3) LANA vs. NIA JAX

-Jax just slammed Lana to the ground and Lana seemed to land on her leg awkwardly. Lana with a look on her face like, “Can we get this over with, please?” They showed Asuka watching in the background cheering on Lana, and Lana countered a military press attempt into a head scissors. She climbed the top rope, but Jax responded with a headbutt. Jax climbed to meet her, Lana rolled out, then kicked Jax’s leg out from under her and fell on her for the victory.

WINNER: Lana at 1:55

_After the match, they showed Baszler in Gorilla attacking Asuka, then Jax attacked Lana. She repeatedly drove Lana headfirst into the mat, then hit a leg drop. Jax stepped on Lana’s arm, allowing Baszler to kick it out. Baszler then folded up Lana as Jax slapped her across the face. Baszler stomped at Lana’s leg over and over, then tore the kickpad off and took off Lana’s shoe as Lana scremed for mercy. Baszler held Lana’s leg at an awkward angle as Jax hit three leg drops on the leg. Asuka finally made it to the ring and took out the heels. Lana looked distraught as they showed replays. They then hyped Wyatt’s segment as they cut to break. [c]

(Hazelwood’s Take: We all knew Lana was going to to get some victories, and they’re probably going to win the Tag Team Championship Sunday, but this is also Vince McMahon’s way of stunting momentum as soon as it’s built. Then again, he’s hoping that an injury to Lana makes the underdog babyface victory that much more unlikely, but if we’re all expecting it, is it really that exciting? On a positive note, I liked how this angle reestablished for many viewers the utter sadism of Baszler’s character.)

-They returned with Elias strumming in the ring. He introduced Jaxson Ryker (…sigh…) and reminded us of his “electrocution” during the “Symphony of Destruction” match, with the voltage enough to kill “an ordinary man, but I am not an ordinary man. I am the extraordinary Elias.” He said he “envisioned visions” of Ryker and the universal truth that “WWE stands for ‘Walk With Elias.'” Ryker yelled it along, then took to the mic and said Elias’ music changed him and Elias has been disrespected for too long. He’s going to stop the disrespect. Elias then said he wants to dedicate the healing power of his music and dedicated his next song to Lana. R-Truth interrupted by saying, “I don’t want to interrupt, but I wanted to apologize for interrupting your performance last week on Main Event. I’m not an interrupter.” Elias reminded him he’s interrupting now, and Truth said, “I don’t want to interrupt.” The chase started for the 24/7 Championship as Ryker wiped out the “24/7 mob” as Saxton called them. The segment ended with a guitar strum.

-In the back, The Miz talked to Morrison about how he didn’t appreciate Styles’ comments that he’s easier to beat than McIntyre. They’re interrupted by Lee who brought out a coin. The Miz called heads, which it was. Lee said they both won, but that’s the only thing that they’re going to win (cryptic much?). Phillips said the next match is brought to us by Axe. Cool.

(Hazelwood’s Take: Lee made the most of bad writing. He looked menacing, he was clear in his words, but remained cryptic enough to keep the viewer intrigued with the mysterious Lee. Now, stop making him look dumb and just give him victories. Who wants to bet McMahon already forgot about sending Lee to the Performance Center for twice-weekly training sessions? He also seems to be leaning heel. As for Elias and Ryker, it’s better if I don’t say anything.)

-They returned with a hype video showcasing Morrison’s abilities, brought to you by Axe. Lee made his entrance first, followed by his opponents who of course had their slomo spot. The Miz has a “Mr. Money in the Bank” honorific attributed to him both on the lower third and announced during his entrance.

(4) KEITH LEE vs. THE MIZ & JOHN MORRISON- Handicap match

-Even though a handicap match, both The Miz & Morrison begin in the ring with the ref not counting them out. Lee lifted and threw The Miz outside, then squared off with Morrison. He hit a jumping spin kick to Morrison’s body, but turned into a double axe handle from The Miz. Lee responded with a standing belly-to-belly to The Miz, but was immediately attacked by Morrison with a flurry of strikes punctuated by a running knee. Lee able to respond with a huge slam, then pounced Morrison out in a sloppy spot where Morrison wasn’t initially ready, then jumped too early and landed nowhere near The Miz, who fell as if he was bowled over. They cut to break. [c]

(Hazelwood’s Take: All four matches thus far tonight have cut to break not very long after the matches started. This seems to be the new two-of-three falls mandate or something)

They returned with Lee in control after tossing Morrison across the ring. Lee then threw The Miz into Morrison in the corner, but was hit with a drop toehold into the turnbuckle, followed by The Miz’s running clothesline and a superkick from Morrison, but only a one-count. More strikes resulted in a two0count. The Miz hit his DDT and Morrison hit a standing Shooting Star Press for a two-count. The heels, frustrated, looked for a double team only to be thwarted. Lee hit a loud Grizzly Magnum on Morrison, but had his suplex reversed into a splash as The Miz grabbed Lee’s foot, causing him to lose his footing. Again, both men applied holds to Lee with the ref not caring about tagging in and out (it would be nice to know which handicap matches require tags and which don’t). They tried for a double suplex, but Lee turned it into his own double suplex. The commentators marveled at Lee’s strength. Lee avalanche splashed both men, then gave Morrison a biel into The Miz. Morrison tried countering the Spirit Bomb, but Lee used him to bat at The Miz. They engaged in some strikes and counters, and both men end up on top of Lee, pinning him for the victory.

WINNER: The Miz & John Morrison at 10:03

-After the match, they showed replays and reiterated Lee was in control until the numbers game caught up to him. Lee glared at his foes from ringside as the commentators shifted to discussing the feud between Orton and Wyatt/The Fiend. They recapped last week’s match between Orton and Wyatt. The “field trip” is next. [c]

(Hazelwood’s Take: There were two distinct messy spots in that match and though they were 99 percent Morrison’s fault, McMahon is going to blame Lee somehow, isn’t he? I understand the thought of Lee being protected due to the numbers, but if he really is “limitless” and a force to be reckoned with, he should have won here. His opponents would lose nothing in defeat, and I argue they gain nothing in victory.)

-They returned with the “Firefly Fun House” theme playing as Wyatt made his entrance in an ugly Christmas sweater with The Fiend (it’s actually not that bad). The commentators hyped The Fiend vs. Orton this Sunday as Wyatt waved to his “friends” from the “Fun House” seated at ringside (Mercy the Buzzard, Huskus the Pig, and Ramblin’ Rabbit). Wyatt said it was nice to see all the smiling faces of his “fireflies” in the Thunderdome, it warms his soul. Wyatt said he’s sorry to Orton, really, because they were “having the time of our lives last week” when “things got out of hand” and they had a “giant misunderstanding” that led to The Fiend, with his twisted mind, to appear. He laughed and said he knows he has things to fix about himself, but he wants a chance to finish what he and Orton started. He said he’s not sure what’s going to be left of Orton after Sunday.

[HOUR THREE]

He said all that’s going to be left is sadness and plain and “Yowie Wowie, that’s all right!” He said he’s going to celebrate tonight and that he prepared some jokes, specifically for Orton, assuring us it’s going to be hysterical (it won’t be). He unfolded his crumpled paper and read some terrible jokes you’d find in a first grade jokebook, though he laughed as if he said the funniest things ever; at least a baby in the Thunderdome was laughing along. Orton finally interrupted on the Tron. He said The Fiend gave him the chance to look “the Devil square in his eyes.” He said after he hit Wyatt with the RKO (I’m not gonna repeat his stupid phrase), Wyatt changed, The Fiend changed. The Fiend won’t outmaneuver him, Orton said. He said he knows how much Wyatt loves to play games so he should extend his field trip and pay Orton a visit, play a game of hide and seek. Wyatt laughed and said he can’t resist a game, so he accepted, saying it three times (“Thrice heard and witnessed.”). Wyatt said, “Let the games begin!” as his music played, the puppets laughed, and the commentators discussed what just transpired.

-The commentators shifted to the upcoming Ricochet vs. Mace match and showed a recap of last week’s event with Retribution and Ricochet & Dana Brooke (brought to you by Progressive). Retribution’s music played as Mace, Slapjack, T-Bar, Reckoning, and their leader, Mustafa Ali made their entrance as they cut to break with a reminder that this Friday’s Smackdown will be on FS1. [c]

(Hazelwood’s Take: After what I thought was a compelling ending last week, that segment was completely unnecessary. I’m hoping the payoff tonight is worth it, but I’m not holding out hope.)

-They returned with Mace in the ring and Ali on commentary with the other three members standing next to him. Ali looked smug as they showed a promo from Instagram (at least it’s playing on the show). Mace said some words, then they shifted to Ricochet’s entrance, the smoke machine completely visible behind him during his entrance. Ali said Ricochet is one of his closest friends, so why wouldn’t he want him in Retribution?

(5) MACE (w/Mustafa Ali & Slapjack & T-Bar & Reckoning) vs. RICOCHET

-They begin with Mace striking Ricochet and when Ricochet tried responding, Mace just lifted and tossed him, then followed with a leg lariat for a two-count. Mace, still wearing his mask, locked in a neck crank. Ricochet tried to fight back, but Mace used his power until Ricochet was able to hit a springboard missile dropkick. Ricochet kicked the legs then hit a springboard cross body and standing Shooting Star Press for a two-count. He climbed to the top, but Ali sent Slapjack to interfere. Ricochet fought off Slapjack, then T-Bar, but walked into a two-handed chokeslam pin for a two-count. Ali stood and yelled at Mace to “Shut him down,” and Mace hit a swinging inverted sidewalk slam for the victory.

WINNER: Mace

-After the match, the three male members hold Ricochet up as Ali yelled Ricochet it only ends once Ricochet joins the group. They slam him to the mat as they stand tall.

-They showed Wyatt in the back looking for Orton as he approached Riddle. Riddle pitched him “Bro-Nouns,” and the less said, the better. Wyatt blew him off, but Ramblin’ Rabbit appeared behind Riddle after. Riddle called him “Baby Broda.” He asked Rabbit to sign a carrot for his rabbit. They shifted to the ring as Baszler’s music hit and she entered with Jax. [c]

(Hazelwood’s Take: Seriously, if there’s ONE thing that makes me want to turn off the show more than any other, it’s every time Riddle opens his mouth. On the other hand, hey, Retribution with a victory! It still seems like a lost cause, but let’s just stay on for the ride, folks.)

-They returned with Baszler still pacing in the ring as Phillips gave us the old “local medical facility” update on Lana, though they did say her injuries were “devastating.” Brooke made her entrance, still flexing, never doing anything else.

(6) SHAYNA BASZLER (w/Nia Jax) vs. DANA BROOKE

-Brooke tried striking Baszler, but Baszler just tossed her with a look of disdain on her face as if to say, “Do I REALLY have to wrestler her?” She started working Brooke’s arm, but Brooke moved as Baszler looked to stomp on the elbow. Baszler missed a running knee in the corner, countered a handspring from Brooke, but then ate an enziguri and short-arm clothesline. As Brooke climbed to the top, Jax pushed her off for the DQ.

WINNER: Dana Brooke by DQ at 1:25

-After the match, they attack Brooke as Liv Morgan made the save with a kendo stick, just wailing away. Baszler recovered, but Asuka made the save. Morgan and Asuka lay waste to the Tag Team Champion, Morgan in what look to be at least three-inch heeled boots (impressive). They shifted to Truth in the back talking about PlayStation 6 because the 5 sold out everywhere. He said his nephew did “three to five minutes in detention for excessive loitering.” He was talking to Huskus the Pig. Wyatt approached, and Truth thought Huskus was Wyatt’s son. Wyatt said, “Hide and seek!” and ran off. They cut to break. [c]

(Hazelwood’s Take: And we’re right back to the crappy finishes. Why even have the match if that’s how it was going to end? Just do the angle in the back or something. The booking is, once again, questionable at best. That Truth segment is another one of those “the less that’s said the better” segment for tonight.)

-They returned with a Raw Talk promo including Rose, Brooke, Ryker, Elias, Lashley, and M.V.P., though I’m sure Truth will find his way. They showed Wyatt in the back searching for Orton, but also calling out for Orton. They showed an empty, darkened room with a rocking chair going back and forth with no one sitting, transfixing Wyatt. He took a seat as Orton appeared from behind to attack. The piped-in noise for this was boos for Orton’s attack, indicating WWE wants us to view Wyatt as the face. Orton tossed Wyatt around, then into some kind of wooden container, stomping away at him before closing the lid. He turned, grabbed a canister of presumably gasoline, and poured it over the box/container; I wonder what they’re referencing… Orton grabbed a lighter, which they zoomed in on, then lit the container on fire. Joe exclaimed, rather stoically, “No.” Orton looked on with glee in his eyes. Suddenly, The Fiend popped out of the not-so-on-fire box and applied the Mandible Claw to Orton against the metal loading dock door, then to the ground as Orton lost consciousness. [c]

(Hazelwood’s Take: Talk about having to suspend your disbelief. The payoff was not what I hoped for; I fear for the match on Sunday.)

-They returned recapping what just transpired between Orton and Wyatt/The Fiend. Joe said Orton went too far, but Phillips said, “It’s unimaginable!” They shifted to M.V.P. already in the ring as Riddle made his entrance for their match with his “bronuts.”

(7) M.V.P. vs. RIDDLE

-M.V.P. immediately went after Riddle, gaining the advantage with strikes. Don’t forget, M.V.P. also trains in some MMA disciplines. Riddle dodged a knee, hit a Final Flash knee, then a Floating Bro for the win.

WINNER: Riddle at :47

-After the match, he escaped as Lashley ran into the ring. Riddle retreated while eating a “bronut.” They then showed McIntyre waling in the back toward the ring for the “WWE Championship Ascension Ceremony.” [c]

(Hazelwood’s Take: After all that, M.V.P. loses in less than a minute? The booking is all over the place on Monday nights.)

-They returned with Phillips in the ring speaking about the TLC match for the WWE Championship match this Sunday; the ring was surrounded by multiple tables, ladders, and chairs. Styles (accompanied by Omos) made his entrance for the “ceremony” first as the commentators reminded us of Styles’ attack on Sheamus with a chair earlier in the night. McIntyre made his entrance after, still grabbing the sword each side of the pommel. Phillips said the WWE Championship will be raised first, then they can address each other. Of course, Styles interrupted right away and told McIntyre to address the WWE Championship because it will be the last time it’s around his waist. Styles reminded us this is a first-ever matchup, so he needed to find out who McIntyre was. He said he was shocked it took McIntyre 19 years to become WWE Champion. He said he showed us all why it took so long when he lost to Orton at Hell in a Cell. “You just can’t handle the pressure, that’s what it is.” He conceded McIntyre won the WWE Championship back, but it changed him because he’s taking too many risks, like the TLC match that McIntyre’s never been in before. Styles reminded us he defended the WWE Championship in a TLC match, and won. He said if it means breaking every table, ladder, and chair across the back of McIntyre to win the WWE Championship, he’ll do it. It will look “phenomenal” wrapped around my waist.

McIntyre said that was a compelling speech, but here are the Champ facts. They’ve never wrestled, but it’s a match he’s always wanted. He’s never been in one while Styles has been successful in the past. He said he thought his goal was to become WWE Champion, but now he knows it’s to remain WWE Champion. “Who is Drew McIntyre?” he asked. He said he’s the champion that “led WWE through uncharted waters though 2020,” he doesn’t crack under pressure, and he’s a diamond. “I’m the champion that’s going to tear you apart this Sunday.” He did his dumb “read between the lines” thing with three fingers. He said he’s going to do whatever it takes to remain WWE Champion, and if Styles is prepared to do the same (didn’t Styles just say he was?). Dramatic music played as the WWE Championship was raised and Styles asked McIntyre what if it wasn’t just him that McIntyre had to worry about?

Suddenly, The Miz & Morrison drive a ladder into McIntyre and continued to pound away. McIntyre fought back, threw Styles out, Claymored The Miz, then did the same to the ladder Morrison was holding. He turned around and gave Styles a Glasgow Kiss. As he set for the Claymore and Styles, Omos threw into the ring steps, distracting McIntyre. Styles hit a chop block and a Phenomenal 4-arm to McIntyre. Styles yelled an order to Omos to grab a ladder, which Styles used to ram McIntyre in the gut and head, then slammed it across McIntyre’s back. Omos gave Styles a chair and Styles laid into McIntyre’s back. He set the chair in the corner and drove McIntyre’s head into the chair. Omos cleared a table and put it in the ring while Styles grabbed another ladder. He punched McIntyre onto the table, climbed the ladeder, and hit an elbow drop on McIntyre through the table from the second-to-last ladder rung. He climbed the ladder and grabbed the WWE Championship as the show went off air.

(Hazelwood’s Take: Aside from McIntyre asking Styles a question he already answered and McIntyre’s juvenile “read between the lines” thing, the go-home promos worked. Styles’ words were buttressed by his actions earlier in the night, while McIntyre’s were buttressed by his track record, blemish to Orton notwithstanding. They’re really stacking the deck against McIntyre so that if he does lose, his positioning in the hierarchy isn’t adversely affected. The flip side to that is it would make Styles seem like an illegitimate or unworthy WWE Champion. Such is the nature of WWE booking.)

FINAL THOUGHTS: After a first hour that gave me hope for a decent show, that was all snuffed out with pretty much everything that happened after. The amount of inconsistencies in the booking of every story outside of the main one or two are maddening, and there’s too much disbelief needing to be set aside for others, mainly Orton-Wyatt/The Fiend. If you were deciding whether or not to watch the pay-per-view based on tonight’s show, you’d be hard-pressed to find any reason why you should. It was just not a good show, and who knows if Rumble Season will do anything to reinvigorate the show.