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AEW COLLISION (PT. 1) – HITS & MISSES
MARCH 22, 2025
OMAHA, NEB.
AIRED ON TNT
BY DAVID BRYANT, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Nigel McGuiness
– Hey! Welcome back to another edition of my AEW Collision Hits & Misses column — the best place to find the worst takes!
Given this show is only one hour long, I will try to keep my intro brief.
And boxer.
And thongs sometimes.
NO COLD OPEN — HIT
Normally, I would bemoan this episode’s lack of a cold open, lack of theme music, lack of pyro, and lack of excessive nudity, but given that this particular episode of AEW Collision was airing in a late-night timeslot for the very specific reason of capitalizing on an unusually large lead-in, I think cutting straight to tonight’s in-ring action was the right call.
DANIEL GARCIA vs. ADAM COLE — MEGA-HIT
Dressed like the McDonald’s logo, Daniel Garcia started this match by shaking hands with the secret love child of HBK and Ivory (I assume) before both men transitioned into a series of wristlocks. (Given that one of tonight’s highest priorities was to capture as many eyeballs from their NCAA lead-in as possible, starting this match off with an exchange of wristlocks might not have been the best idea.) However, after what felt like an initially slow start, this match’s action picked up precipitously.
In fact, in my opinion, which is not gospel but is definitely influenced by EDM and Indie Rock, this was one of Adam Cole’s best matches since his in-ring return on October 30 2024. And yet, despite that, Garcia was the one who really stood out the most in this match. Garcia’s facial expressions, in-ring acting, and in-match storytelling skills were only a few steps below that of Bryan Danielson.
Watching this match made me feel even worse about the way Garcia’s TNT Title reign has been handled by AEW. While I didn’t write the review of the final match of last week’s episode of AEW Collision (My fiancé, August Strachan, wrote the second half of that column while I wrote the first), I fully agree with Strachan’s assessment of Garcia’s TNT Title reign. Garcia has everything he needs to be a star, but if you want someone to be a star, you need a strap a rocket to their back and launch their careers into the stratosphere and beyond.
Side Note To Commentators: The more you bring up time limits, the more we know how the match will end!
Second Side Note To Commentators: Please stop calling me a sicko. I am healthy, vaccinated, work out five days a week, and was a gold medalist in adult figure skating at the 2019 State Games of America. I am not sick.
MAX “THE GREATEST LESSER ALIVE” CASTER CUTS A PROMO — HIT
Max “I Peaked In High School” Caster, started his promo by trying to badmouth the incredibly talented Anthony “I Literally Worked For A Modeling Agency” Bowens. The crowd was having none of it, and by none of it, I mean they were literally the last guy in a long line at a family reunion buffet.
Tonight’s crowd’s loud chants for Anthony “My Veins Are A Roadmap To Heaven” Bowens were so deafening my hearing aid tapped out halfway through. Because of this reaction, Max “The Opening Act’s Opening Act” Caster was forced to directly address Anthony “Not Even Ariana Grande Could Steal My Boyfriend” Bowens’s absence.
Side Note: Aubry Edward’s reaction to Max “The World’s Best Technically A Wrestler Alive” shoving his plastic-framed patent into her unexpecting arms was priceless. Give this woman a raise.
MAX “THE MAN WHO WEARS CURVE COLOGNE AS AN ADULT” CASTER vs. HOOK — HIT
You know, teenage girls are a fairly untapped market for professional wrestling, and AEW has a man with a face that puts Timothee Chalamet’s to shame on their roster. How are they not capitalizing on this more?
Think about it for a second, okay? Hook’s face could sell lunchboxes to vampires; James Dean’s ghost is dying for Hook to follow him back; dead flowers bloom whenever Hook looks in their direction, and I’m pretty sure that just seeing a picture of Hook can clear up acne and improve your credit score. I’m not saying it’s scientifically proven, but I am saying that I’ve had not one single zit since Hook started wrestling, and I’ve received dozens of unsolicited text messages from foreign nationals wanting to lend me obscene amounts of money for businesses I don’t own. Coincidence? I think not.
Anyway, the match ended in under a minute.
LEXY NAIR CONDUCTS AN INTERVIEW THAT GETS INTERRUPTED — MINOR-MISS (BUT NOT BECAUSE OF THE PERSONALITIES INVOLVED)
AEW has got to start conducting some of these wrestling interviews in safe rooms. I could not imagine any other program operating under such a format.
For example: If during Linda McMahon’s interview on this morning’s episode of “State of the Union,” she had only gotten halfway through a single answer about why Americans do not deserve the same educational departments afforded to nations like England, Australia, China, Russia, Germany, Albania, Turkey, Pakistan, Montenegro, Uruguay, Guatemala, Serbia, Ghana, Rwanda, and The Marshall Islands*, Jake Tapper had suddenly appeared out of nowhere, burst into the studio, bounded past the cameras, and put his nose into Dana Bash’s face so as to challenged her to a dual for the right to sit in her anchor’s chair, I don’t feel like that would have gone down well.
If that happened I would hope CNN would fire Tapper, issue an apology to Bash, and cut to a commercial or at least to something distracting like Linda McMahon’s resting puppet face.
JULIA HART vs. QUEEN AMINATA — MINOR-HIT (ALSO NOT BECAUSE OF THE PERSONALITIES INVOLVED)
After multiple weeks of Tony Khan booking women to look like the stars they were meant to be, this match was at least five minutes too short. That really was a shame because neither Queen Aminata nor Julia Hart were holding anything back, front, or to the side.
Queen Aminata has great facial expressions and a memorable look, and Hart is a star in waiting. While Hart’s in-ring skills are not at the level of someone like Mercedes Moné, her astoundingly fast progress has her well on the way to becoming every bit as good if not better. (Although, when it comes to Mercedes Moné, I question if “better” is actually possible for anyone, no matter their skill level.)
ARTICLE CONTINUED BELOW…
Check out the latest episode of the “All Elite Conversation Club” with Joel Dehnel and Gregg Kanner, part of the PWTorch Dailycast line-up: CLICK HERE to stream (or search “pwtorch” on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or any other iOS or Android app to subscribe free)
A VIDEO PACKAGE AIRED FOR AEW DYNASTY — HIT
This package opened with Swerve Strickland, and it ended with Toni Storm. Watching this was reassuring because it was good to see that AEW clearly understands who their biggest draws are. Strickland vs. Moxley and Storm vs. Bayne are the two best reasons to order this PPV, and it is good that the advertising reflects that.
LEXY NAIR INTERVIEWS HARLEY CAMERON — HIT
Future megastar, ventriloquist, singer, rapper, model, actress, journalist (TIL, this woman has a whole-ass degree in journalism), dolphin therapist, prehistoric fashion consultant, and subterranean cloud cartographer, Harley Cameron, was interviewed by Lexy Nair.
During this interview, Lexy Nair asked Harley Cameron if she was the same person as Harley-gram, and I swear to God her reaction made me laugh. If there is anyone on this planet who can pull off a gimmick as tragic as “Harley-gram,” it is the one-and-only Grand Poobah of the Intergalactic Federation of Unicycles, Harley Cameron.
POWERHOUSE HOBBS & THE CONGLOMERATION vs. THE DON CALLIS FAMILY — MINOR-MISS
This match felt like something you’d see on a random Rampage. That isn’t to say this was a bad match, and in fact, it was quite enjoyable at times (for a clustermatch), but I can’t believe this is the main event AEW chose as a show-closing attraction on a program that was hoping to capitalize on an NCAA lead-in.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
Tonight’s show was a good show with one outstanding promo (Harley Cameron) and one outstanding match (Daniel Garcia vs. Adam Cole). That said, this episode of AEW Collision still managed to somehow feel mediocre compared to previous weeks. This may be due to the one-hour format (and I say that as someone who would greatly prefer this condensed format.) It will be very interesting to watch Part 2 of AEW Collision’s Slam Dunk series and see how that episode comes across. BTW, the Hits & Misses Column for Part 2 of AEW Collision: Slam Dunk will be written by my fiancé, August Strachan. He really enjoys writing for you guys, and I really enjoy making him happy!
Now, for tonight’s “Show Grade.”
On a 7-point grading scale, I would give this show’s “Match Grade” an A-, due to the Daniel Garcia vs. Adam Cole match. Without the Daniel Garcia vs. Adam Cole match, I would give this show’s “Match Grade” a C. That is how much I liked that Garcia vs. Cole match. When it comes to this week’s “Storyline Grade,” AEW Collision performed well, even within the confines of its truncated 1-hour format. The storytelling in the Garcia/Cole match, the Cameron promo, Aubry Edward’s facial expressions in Max “The YOLO Tour” Caster’s in-ring segment, and tonight’s commentary elevated this show’s storytelling to a solid B. Given this was only a one-hour broadcast, I think a solid B grade is pretty impressive on the storytelling front.
Overall Match Grade: A-
Overall Storyline Grade: B
SHOW GRADE: B+
DAVID’S DODGY MATCH RECOMMENDATIONS:
- Match of the Night: Daniel Garica vs. Adam Cole
- Second Best Match: Julia Hart vs. Queen Aminata
- Third Best Match: Hook vs. Max “Keg Stands Are My Personality Trait” Caster
Thank you all for reading. I truly appreciate it. And as always, I’m still working on my sign-off, but until next week, remember, a good pun is its own re-word.
(David Bryant’s bathroom-selfies can be found on his “Artist Formerly Known as Twitter” account @IamDavidBryant; a video of David Bryant being knocked unconscious by an exploding television set can be found on his Instagram account @IamDavidBryant, and David Bryant’s Threads account is threadbare and also located @IamDavidBryant because David Bryant sucks at usernames. David is a published author, circus artist, drag promoter, male pageant winner, unrenowned musician, sloppy figure skater, and the inventor of the world’s first dowel-based cassette tape rewinder that also doubles as a pencil. Less impressively, David studied screenwriting at the University of North Carolina School of the Arts.)
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