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AEW COLLISION – HITS & MISSES
MARCH 2, 2025
OAKLAND, CALIF.
AIRED ON TNT
BY AUGUST STRACHAN (DAVID BRYANT’S HOT, FLEXIBLE FIANCÈ), PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Nigel McGuiness
– Hey! Welcome back to another edition of David’s AEW Collision Hits & Misses column — the best place to find the worst takes!
Psyche! It’s actually me once again! August Strachan!* If you don’t remember me, I’m that blonde Australian twink who showed up on Mr. Keller’s Dynamite post-show a couple of weeks ago. David has been indisposed** this week, so to take some pressure off him,*** I have once again picked up the pen and will be giving you my takes and opinions on this week’s episode of AEW Collision. I apologize in advance.
Now, without further ado****, let’s begin.
*And David will be making random comments that I’m sure August will appreciate and not hold against me in any way.
**Indisposed… What am I? Queen Victoria?
***August is great at that.
****But I live for ado!
COLD OPEN — HIT
Okada, man what is going on with you?
I’m not sure what character he’s going for here, but this didn’t feel at all like the corporate-bad-attitude-bitch-machine we’re unfortunately used to. Still, I’m very open to giving this a chance because previously, I asked Okada to find a personality that was “more than the continental championship and the word bitch,” so hopefully this means we are about to see more character development and soon.
Besides Oakada, this cold open was great! Collision’s cold opens are always a delight to see, and they help to separate AEW Collision from AEW’s Dynamite brand.
PRESENCE OF WOMEN IN THE INTRO — HIT
Every week, AEW’s Collision intro video has undergone slight differentiations, and this week’s intro seemed to have a surplus of female athletes… unlike previous weeks. Let’s keep this up — if for no other reason than because I’m pretty sure women’s wrestling is at least 50 percent of the reason my fiancé watches professional wrestling to begin with.
FTR vs. THE UNDISPUTED KINGDOM — MASSIVE-HIT
I’m pretty sure FTR is the other 50 percent of why my fiancé watches professional wrestling, so I always pay extra attention whenever they are on the screen, and to quote Ron Simmons, “Damn!”
FTR, guys, come on, can you please not overshadow basically every other match of the night in terms of pure wrestling and in-ring storytelling?* This match was a long one, but it didn’t feel long. Its length was counteracted by the fact that FTR can carry an infinite number of minutes to a breathtaking match.
Oh, and something I’ve noticed: AEW has a nasty habit of, whenever a single member of a group is scheduled for a one-on-one match, they throw the remaining members in a tag or a trio’s match. Then, that tag or trios match almost always functions as a way to offset the loss of whichever faction is losing their solo match later on in the night. I had already doubted Adam Cole would take the TNT Title**, but after seeing Cole’s Undisputed Kingdom allies get a win over FTR (which was very upsetting for me), I realized there was absolutely no hope of Cole pulling out a victory.
*Storytelling is the third 50 percent of the reason why I watch wrestling!
**Speak for yourself! I thought he had at least a 50 percent chance of winning, and as you can tell from my previous statements, I’m good at math.
WILLOW RECAP — HIT
I cannot tell if this is leading to a heel turn for Willow*, or if Willow is just really, really done with taking everyone else’s shit**.
Honestly? I don’t know which version of her I would prefer. On the one hand, a heel-version of Willow who bashes light fixtures over the heads of her enemies and hands out con-chair-tos like party invitations while smiling like an innocent princess sounds fun. On the other hand, a face-version of Willow who is willing to do whatever has to be done, no matter how brutal, is not only fun but badass.***
Either way, I think this version of Willow has a compelling story to tell, and AEW needs to capitalize on that. Also, please get her out of that pseudo-stable of “The Conglomeration” that sounds like it was named by a lazy AI. (I keep thinking we have finally escaped the clutches of a world in which The Conglomeration exists, and then I hear their name mentioned and it triggers a fight or flight response).
*No.
**Yes.
***On the third hand, these things are not mutually exclusive.
ARTICLE CONTINUED BELOW…
Check out the latest episode of the Wade Keller Pro Wrestling Post-show covering the latest episode of Dynamite: CLICK HERE (or search “wade Keller” on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or any other iOS or Android app to subscribe free)
WHEELER YUTA VS. WILLIE MACK — MINOR-HIT*
Willie “Deserves an Intro” Mack was already in the ring, so his defeat was preordained by the mystical hand of Khan.
Something I don’t understand: there are plenty of wrestlers signed under AEW**, many of them being lower card wrestlers without an inkling of credibility, but why shouldn’t they have credibility that inks? If AEW would invest the time required to give these wrestlers so much as a single shred of credibility (via a ring entrance, perhaps?) it would make the people who beat them look stronger.
*Do not hit minors; that’s mean.
**Also over AEW, beside AEW, and behind AEW.
JON MOXLEY OFFERS UP YUTA ON A SILVER PLATTER — MISS
Mr. Moxley, let me get this straight. Cope* specifically told you, and then proceeded to prove to you, that he aims to separate you from every member of your stable so that you are left vulnerable and alone at Revolution. You, I assume, would prefer that this did not happen, and therefore, your solution was to… put your final supporter in the ring with Cope**?
Interesting strategy.
*Cliff.
**Cliff.
(OMG. David, stop trying to make “Cliff” happen. It’s not going to happen!)
(Yes it is! Give it time.)
MERCEDES MONE vs. A CUP OF TEA — MINOR-MISS
Hi. I’m a trained actor, and I can authoritatively tell you that whatever Billie Starkz was doing in this segment was not that.
Billie, I like you. You’re talented. However, splashing tea in Mercede’s face, smiling like a leprechaun two seconds after meeting Goldust, and then running away like a school girl trying to capture giggles in a butterfly net is not becoming of the talent you have worked hard to perfect.
That said, Mercedes, you did absolutely have that coming for stomping on Puppet Mone, which AEW should sell replicas of.*
*You do not need more wrestling merch.
REVOLUTION VIDEO PACKAGE — HIT
Seeing AEW open their hype video for Revolution with Toni Storm vs. Mariah May was a wonderful surprise. Honestly, after Grand Slam Australia and given AEW’s track record, I expected this storyline to be shunted off the field and/or relegated to the island of misfit toys.* But, to my surprise and glee, here I am seeing Toni Storm and Mariah May at the forefront of AEW’s promotional material!
The rest of this package felt exciting and big* and was exceptionally well crafted.
*ROH?
**You do like big packages.
“TIMELESS” TONI STORM PROMO — MASSIVE-HIT
Okay, I hope none of you are expecting me to be normal about this, right? Good. Let’s begin.
No one does promos like Toni Storm, right now. No one. From the accent to the mannerisms to the courage and commitment, there is a reason the “Timeless” Toni Storm character is one of AEW’s most beloved. To whoever is writing these promos, be it Storm herself, Tony Khan, or Sean Baker (he does everything else), you have every accolade I could give you. After Storm’s victory at Grand Slam Australia, I wasn’t sure if they could properly make a third installment in this story because her win felt so definitive, but any doubts I had were buried the moment I saw Mariah May’s reinvention.
Yes, as a typical* and casual fan of Toni Storm, I can unequivocally say that these women have given us a storyline that has outshone every other match on Revolution’s upcoming card. Storm and May are the main reasons I will be watching Revolution and are the perfect characterization of why I care about wrestling.
One note: I wouldn’t have had Storm slouch so much right at the opening of this promo. It wasn’t flattering and it left her with a flyaway hair. Storm deserves to always be flattered and her hair should refrain from flying until the United States gets its aviation industry under control.
*but not atypical.
SWERVE STRICKLAND vs. CLARK CONNORS — MINOR-MISS
This match was great! We got to see superb wrestling from both Swerve Strickland and who is this guy again?
David and I spent much of this match trying to figure out if this was Clark Connors’ first match after being officially signed by AEW or if this was another edition of the extremely one-sided talent exchange deal AEW has with NJPW.
The loss of Connors concluded that debate fairly quickly.
THE HURT SYNDICATE AND THE OUTRUNNERS — MASSIVE-MISS
Hold on, I need to go find some quick dry cement to put in my ears and eyes. That is the only way I can find any aspect of The Outrunner’s gimmick bearable. If this B-movie of a team puts up even a single moment of resistance at Revolution, I will be shocked and saddened.
HARLEY CAMERON ANNOUNCES THE NAME OF HER FINISHER — MINOR-HIT
Today we were blessed by the presence of Harley “the Great and Powerful!” I am so glad to see she hasn’t been banished to a shadow realm that I assume exists beneath the ring and is where Kamille is hiding.
During this segment, Cameron randomly appeared at ringside, not to provide mere commentary, but to instead announce the name of her new finishing move.
What magnificent pun has she come up with? The Wrathmare? Snap, Wrathle, Pop? The Grapes of Wrath?
No.
Her finishing move is named “Finishing move.” While this was a good joke in the moment, I fear that this decision might come back to bite her later on when she aims to be taken more seriously. We’ll see.
JOHNNY TV DISRESPECTS… A COOKIE? — MINOR-MISS
Holy crap Johnny TV is alive, and his grand return saw him catapulted into the Revolution Zero Hour card due to slapping a cookie out of AJ’s hand. Wow. Even I had to go back and read that a few times to believe it, and I wrote it! I fear there will be a significant uptick in lower-card wrestlers smacking sweets out of the hands of unsuspecting individuals and then looking at Tony Khan with the sad eyes of a longing dog.
SHANE TAYLOR PROMOTIONS vs. THE JOB SQUAD* (NICK RUIZ & VINNIE MASSARO & DAVE DUTRA) — MISS
So… this is one of those instances where these guys get in the ring with those guys while that guy stands at ringside.
Other than being generally antagonistic, what is STP** aiming for? What do they want?*** I thought it was the TNT championship, but they went after Adam Cole later on. So, other than being “that-faction-of-ROH-guys” who beat up jobbers every now and then, I fail to see a reason for this team to exist. I’m not saying there isn’t a good reason for this team to exist, I’m just asking to be shown that reason.
*He’s too young to know that this used to be the name of an actual thing.
**For a moment, I thought this read “STD.”
***Head? (Actual “Job Squad” reference.)
ADAM COLE vs. DANIEL GARCIA FOR THE TNT CHAMPIONSHIP IN NOT THE MAIN EVENT — MISS
So, there’s been one* common complaint among people who enjoy discussing AEW online, and it’s that the titles don’t matter as much as they should. In moments like this, I’m inclined to agree.
Without question, the wrestling in this match was good, but how is the ONLY title shot on the show taking place at an off-peak moment that is nowhere near the main event. I sure hope they have a heck of a match planned to end this show because…
Wait. What?
Tonight’s main event will feature The Learning Tree WITHOUT Chris Jericho?
Excuse me while I smash my head into a desk.
*Just one?
BIG BOOM A.J. FINDS HIS TRIOS PARTNERS FOR REVOLUTION — MISS
Oh, great. They’re back.
Well, I did need something loud enough to shatter the concrete that has now very much dried in my ears. Usually, whenever a wrestler is given the ultimatum of finding enough teammates to be able to compete, it should take a week at minimum, not half an hour. Who knew AEW’s roster was at the beck and call of a child.
Orange Cassidy and Mark Briscoe answered AJ’s call, which means that with Chickens, Oranges, and Cookies this show is now halfway through the Food Pyramid. While Johnny TV and the MxM collection have some gimmicky synergy I’m sure the Food Pyramid team will come out on top.
JULIA HART vs. QUEEN AMINATA — HIT
It’s always refreshing to see a women’s storyline that doesn’t revolve around a title, not to mention one between a success story like Julia Hart and an up-and-coming powerhouse like Queen Aminata who is being shepherded by Serena Deeb.
Also, side note: Does anyone else remember when Harley Cameron got hit in the eye with Hart’s mist? What happened to that? Cameron put dark makeup around her eye for a single week and then the whole idea got taken out back and shot?
OKADA ATTACKS BRODY KING — MINOR HIT
Okay, here we go!
This has made me realize the current issue with the Continental Championship — barely anyone seems to want it despite being held by a wrestler who has absolutely no one to back him up right now.*
Every time this title has been defended, it feels like Tony Khan saw Okada walk past him in catering and thought, “Oh yeah, we have this title. Sh—.”
This moment that has now led to a Brody vs. Okada match at Revolution is no different. Brody hasn’t even asked for a shot or, now that I think about it, so much as demanded revenge for what Okada did to Buddy Matthews. They just kinda bumped into each other, Okada had a tantrum about the song “Bitch” by Meredith Brooks, and now the title is on the line.
*Unintentional commentary on AEW’s clique mentality.
KENNY OMEGA PROMO — HIT
This match at Revolution will be a defining moment for the golden years of Kenny Omega’s career moving forward. This promo was the perfect encapsulation of how much this match means to Omega and how losing would be devastating. If Omega wins, he holds the belt that best represents him as a wrestler*, a worldwide name and sensation known to so many promotions**.
If Omega loses, then Takeshita needs to run being one of the few people in the world to have beaten the Kenny Omega three times. If that is the outcome they choose, then they need to make Takeshita into far more than he is right now. This victory should be a victory that reimagines what Takeshita means both to the fans and to himself.
*which was invented out of whole cloth two years ago.
**Omega; not the belt.
“POWERHOUSE” HOBBS AND BANDIDO vs. THE LEARNING TREE — MISS
And now our main event!!!! A match we have had before, that has no stakes and doesn’t even have the leader of the primary faction involved.* Don’t forget, there was a title on the line earlier in this week’s episode, and this is the main event that took its place at the top of tonight’s marquee.
This match felt like a redo even if it wasn’t a redo. There was nothing to set it apart — no special rules**, no win condition, no reward, and no threat. For all intents and purposes***, this match had no reason to exist let alone main event. This match even regurgitated some of the same moments that we already saw in prior matches!
For the life of me, I could not get behind this match, and that is sad because, as is the case with most things in AEW, the talents featured in this match were exceptionally gifted in their craft, but they were let down by the manner in which their craft was displayed.
*More Chris Jericho is the one unifying thought that each and every AEW fan secretly holds captive in the wish closet in the back of their mind’s eye.
**Because the one thing AEW needs more of is special rules.
***Thank God you didn’t say “intensive purposes” because we would have had to break up.
FINAL THOUGHTS
In the overall, this episode of AEW Collision was on the lower end of the quality I expect from a company that typically presents a high-quality product, This week’s episode had its share of standout moments — namely Toni Storm’s promo — and there were certainly instances of brilliance, but so much of it didn’t really seem to matter, and struggled to hold my attention.
Overall Match Grade: C+
Overall Storylines Grade: C+
SHOW GRADE: C+
AUGUST’S DODGY MATCH RECOMMENDATIONS:
- Match of the Night: FTR vs. Undisputed Kingdom
- Second Best Match: Adam Cole vs. Daniel Garcia
- Third Best Match: Julia Hart vs. Queen Aminata
And with that, we come to the end of my significantly less funny second attempt at writing one of these columns, thank you David for giving me another opportunity, and thank you all for taking the time to read my ramblings, hope to see you all again!
(August Strachan is a trained ballet dancer, sometimes model, always actor, and the inventor of the world’s first pre-melted ice cream with no additives, no sugar, and it’s milk. Less impressively, August received his bachelor’s degree in Drama from the Queensland University of Technology in Brisbane, Australia.)
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